The Teacher’s Best Teachers: His Students!

Students are powerful. They don’t realize their remarkable impact. We all have special teachers who touched our lives. We remember them and honor their influence. What we may not realize is that students are as critical in the shaping of teachers. Teachers carry the lessons learned from kids from class to class and year to year.

I have long chafed when a student refers to, “Mr. Hirsch’s class.” It is not mine. It is ours. Students see the teacher as the owner of the class, the master of ceremonies and, at best, they are supporting cast if not audience. Really, it is their class and I am merely the stage manager. When I make choices, I think of the students who taught me how to be a better teacher.

Nicole was my first “discipline” problem. She would much prefer to talk with Anna, fiddle with her books, make up or just about anything, rather than participate in class. It drove me bananas and she knew it. My attempts at reprimanding, refocusing or distracting her seemed to only fuel the fire. Then one day, instead of my usual policeman behavior, I just smiled at Nicole and shook my head.It worked! I found it hard to believe it was that simple. It worked over and over. And if I was not sharp enough to spot the lesson, Nicole made it clear to me when she replied to one of my grins, “That smile isn’t going to work this time, Mr. H. Not this time.” But it did. Smiles as part of discipline? Thank you, Nicole!

Danny was a traditional “kid in the middle.” He was not the brightest student in class but not the slowest. He was a nice young man but not the most (or least) talkative. He did not misbehave but did not draw a great deal of attention to himself. He happened to stop by in the writing lab one day. I pulled him into a conference on an assignment. From then on, Danny sought me out. He looked for that little bit of extra attention and ate it up. Traditionally, students with special talents or special needs receive special services but those wonderful kids in the middle are left with leftovers. Danny didn’t need special tutoring, he was doing fine. Danny didn’t take many honors or AP classes. But Danny loved the extra attention and thrived on it as much as any “special” student. Danny taught me that all students deserve, need, and desire that extra something. I think of him every time I make the effort to give every student his or her “Danny” time. Thank you, Danny.

It was the day before parent night and I jokingly looked at Jeremy. He was my challenge. Not disruptive, just overactive and talkative. Perhaps he might have been labeled ADD – but the label would have been wrong. I joked with him, as the period ended, that I was very eager to meet his parents at open house. “Well,” exclaimed Jeremy, “be sure to sit my dad over here,” he pointed to one end of the classroom, “ and my mom way over here,” he pointed to the opposite side, “because if you let them get together – BOOM!” Now it made sense. The out of control, attention seeking behavior that was so inappropriate in my classroom was the only way to get warring parents’ notice. Jeremy wasn’t ADD or anything else. He was simply bringing his home coping technique into class and it wasn’t working. When students’ behavior is set in context, they cease being behavior issues and become people trying strategies to make life manageable. Thank you, Jeremy.

I have become the lessons students have taught me. It is more than I am a better teacher – or person – I think they have molded me as much or more than I changed them. There is an old proverb that states that the teacher should learn as much from the students as the students from the teacher. I live this every day.

If I am a pretty good teacher, it is due, in large measure, to the fantastic students with whom I have studied. They have generously and unselfishly taught me what it means to learn and study. I have been allowed to glimpse the complexity of their world. Every day, every semester, year after year, they are with me and I am forever grateful to them.

Bar Mitzvah Between the Lines

Please share our joy as our darling boy is called to the torah as a bar mitzvah. Never mind that he doesn’t really understand the words he is reading. He understands the story in general and will relate it to sports, his sister, and a Disney movie in his speech.

It is fine because we don’t speak Hebrew. We don’t even light candles or attend any services other than some of the high holidays and those are really boring. We are planning on quitting the congregation as soon as the dust settles on the eighteen dollar checks. That was what it took to get the kid to complete Hebrew school anyway. Only the promise of spending some of the cash for a new flat screen TV for his room could keep him going through that mind numbing routine.

Thank you so much for donating to his mitzvah project. Really, it was our mitzvah project. He didn’t do that much. It wasn’t worth any more begging and threatening; we had enough of that just getting this far. Besides, he is so busy with the sports and school and his friends. So all he ended up doing was an hour at the soup kitchen. They signed his form and he was out of there.

We’ll see you at the service. We are going to look great. The rabbi gave us the aliya blessings all written out in English transliterations so we can sound like we speak Hebrew. We should probably practice them. Not that we pray. Not that we really believe any of this stuff. We believe in god, of course. But we just don’t see the need to have all the bowing and reciting. I wish it were like Passover where we can just go right to the meal and skip all the mumbo jumbo. We are only doing this because…well…because we would feel left out. Our son would feel like something was missing if he didn’t have this experience. I didn’t stick with my religious education after my bar mitzvah, but maybe he will. Well, he won’t, but he could have.

Our celebration continues with a loud and expensive party on Saturday night. All we need is a bride and it could double as the kid’s wedding. It’ll be as big and as grand as anyone else’s party. We’ll have two hundred of our friends and almost as many kids. Don’t worry, they will be on the other side of the room and we’ll have hired dancers to give them gifts and keep them grinding away at each other. Consider bringing earplugs because the music has caused hearing loss and headaches.

The theme of the party is toys and games. Each table is one of our sons’ favorites. You’ll be sitting at iPod or maybe Xbox or Gameboy. Don’t worry, there won’t be anything from the service at the party. We’ll do a quick blessing over the bread and wine because we have this beautiful challah cover that my in-laws brought back from Israel that we need to use. After that, it is alcohol for the adults and fried foods for the kids!

We are giving away sweat suits with the kid’s name on them at the end of the night to all the kids. They will all wear them to school on Monday and make anyone who wasn’t there feel like complete losers.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for my kid’s thank you note. He may never get around to it. We’ve prewritten all the envelopes for him already and we may need to write the thank yous too. The best you’re going to get out of him is a quick, “Thanks for the generous gift. It was nice to see you.” He doesn’t know what you gave him and you won’t actually see him at the party. He’ll just hang out with a few of his friends and the dance staff. But he’s just a kid. Hopefully, we’ll see you for a moment or two.

We hope you can join us for this very important religious celebration. It wouldn’t be the same without you.