You’re Not So Sure of Yourself, Are You? Good! Skill of Thought , Part 3

It seems like people value confidence and correctness. We hate to admit we are wrong. We trust people who convince us that they really know what they are talking about. When someone wavers, we see it as a lack of expertise. We wonder if we should believe their opinion. 

That’s unfortunate because doubt is the sign of both wisdom and knowledge. 

Each year, I would ask my comparative religion students to tell me something on which they thought everyone could agree. They struggled. Often, we came down to something like 2 + 2 = 4, although George Orwell might disagree. 

There is a reason why we can’t agree on much and there is nothing wrong with that. It is because questioning, doubt, skepticism, and thinking from multiple perspectives are crucial to strong thinking. 

This does not mean that everything is unknowable. Quite the reverse, one way that we do know things is because we doubt them, test them, rethink them, and apply them. This way we discover what is true and then test it when new questions arise. 

When someone says they hold something as true and have no doubts, I hope the real statement is that they have no doubts right now. They had some once and resolved them. They know that it is likely that they will have doubts again. They are in between doubts. They are checking out doubts about other things and this particular thing will have to wait its turn. 

There is a proverb that says that a fool has no doubts and a wise person has too many. Doubt can be crippling. It can prevent us from taking important action. However, the lack of doubts can make us rush in where even fools fear to tread. When we have no doubts, we may be overconfident and impulsive. A person who has no doubts probably doesn’t know enough – or is denying their doubts. 

Sometimes, we have doubts, but we wish we didn’t. We want something to be true. We need it to be true. We wish it were true – really, really badly. We swallow and silence our doubts because listening to them erodes our fragile beliefs. We know that what we think cannot stand up to scrutiny and we wish it could. That’s a sign that our thinking needs strengthening. That’s just wishful thinking. 

When people change their minds, our politicians “flip” their views, or scientists update or alter what they consider fact, we should celebrate! Wrong is a fact of life. Change is the nature of the universe. Growth is the opposite of death. It is good to doubt and question these and all other ideas. 

Silencing the nagging voice in our head that asks, “What about…?” does only one thing: it marries us to our current way of thinking. Sometimes that works. Sometimes, it is inaccurate, out of date, or just plain wrong. If nothing else, our own humility should compel us to ask ourselves, “How might I be wrong? What is the downside here? What is an alternative way of thinking?” 

Doubt is the seed of learning and growth. Questioning is the road to truth. It is more comfortable to ignore complexity and ambiguity in favor of consistency and simplicity. Yet, our growth as a society comes directly because great minds have challenged current conventions and beliefs and moved us all from darkness into the light. 

If you doubt the truth of this: good! Ask the questions, seek the answers, and keep learning – forever! 

The Kind of Person You Are!

You are a good person. You are a person of integrity and strong beliefs. You are a person who is thoughtful and emotionally aware. Sometimes, you get angry. Sometimes, you are disappointed and feel like this country is heading down the wrong path. 

You are not racist, sexist, or any of those things. You work hard to be fair and keep an open mind. You admit that you sometimes judge people, but that is a normal human response. What counts is how you judge - not based on skin color or wealth or religion or any of those things, but on how people function as human beings. 

While you are subject to the whims and impulses that flesh is heir to, you consider yourself logical. You may not be Mr. Spock, but you are reasonable and rational. You consider a situation carefully and look closely at the details, facts, and history before rendering an opinion. 

You are not afraid to admit when you are wrong or to change your point of view when you learn new things. Like many of us, you dislike changing your opinion, but you see it as a sign of growth. 

You see disagreement as a way to discover more about other people and enhance your understanding of them and the world. Such conversations are opportunities to deepen both the relationships and your own perceptions. 

Fairness and consistency are critical. While there are rules that are wrong, for the most part, rules should be obeyed and those who do not obey them should face consequences. Although there are people who feel like they are so special that they should have the right to walk over everyone and do whatever they want, rules should apply to everyone the same way. You have worked hard to be an evenhanded person when dispensing this kind of justice and, although sometimes begrudgingly, accepted it when it was your turn to receive it. 

The only way any of us moves forward is to help one another. You believe in charity, giving, and being your brothers’ and sisters’ helper. People have reached out to you when you needed it and you do your best to pay that forward. 

You stand by your promises. You do what you say you are going to do. You have little respect for those who talk a lot and do very little. You believe that there are obligations that we must fulfill, whether it is to our family, community, nation, or the world at large. Sometimes, you have had to remind people that everything is not just about them! 

Your sense of yourself is not bound up in any one particular thing. You have strong philosophical beliefs, but you are more than that. Your family connections are very important, but that is not all there is to you. You are complex. 

You do not respect people who take advantage of the weak, old, or vulnerable. You will not be scared into decisions or let fear drive your choices. You do not like cheaters, spoiled sports, or bullies. Those who work hard should reap the fruits of their labor while the lazy, entitled, and selfish should not be allowed to profit from others’ efforts. 

You work hard to be honest with yourself. Sometimes, you excuse bad behavior of those you like or are critical of good acts of those you find objectionable, but even as you do this, you realize it is not consistent with how you see yourself. You would not want to be judged that way. 

You are practical. You rarely engage in flights of fancy, except perhaps as a mental exercise or an occasional lark. You believe that the simplest and most straightforward explanations are usually correct and when people have to twist themselves into pretzels to justify or explain something, you are suspicious. 

Sometimes you have trouble trusting people. You want to believe that people are naturally good, but that doesn’t fit with all you have experienced. You agree that most people want to be good, but don’t always make good choices for a variety of reasons. You can forgive some of them, sometimes. Forgiving is one thing, but it doesn’t mean that you allow yourself to be duped or conned. 

When you were younger, you would sometimes say and do things to get the approval of your friends or authorities, even when you did not agree with them. You recognize that this is also a normal and human thing to do, but as an adult, you do not conform with the majority when it is not authentic. You are willing to champion an unpopular view when you believe in it and you resist yielding to social pressure.

You would make a good judge. You weigh facts before making decisions. You are slow to anger. You try to see things from the other person’s point of view. The world is not just good and bad, near and far, rich and poor, but is far more complicated. 

When your heroes and leaders reveal their feet of clay, you are disappointed, but not surprised.  You feel uplifted when they make things better, and like a disheartened parent, are saddened when they behave badly. But they, like all of us, should face the consequences of our choices. You strongly believe that no one is above that. No one has the right to get away with misdeeds. No one, you insist, is above the law. That would be unfair and would cause or society to collapse. 

Of course, there are people who think the rules do not apply to them. You have encountered these people too frequently. You pity them as much as dislike them. While it isn’t usually your job to remind them that they are human, too, you have taken perhaps too much pleasure in knocking some of them down a peg or two. 

You vote. You pay your taxes. You obey the laws. You go to the courthouse when you are called for jury duty. You are a good citizen. You believe that we all should support our communities. 

You are charitable. You give to the poor, sick, and those who have had bad luck. You hope you will never be on the other side of that, but you hope that, if you were ever in need, people would help you. 

You could never support a candidate for office who you knew to be cheating, lying, or hurting people. That would not be consistent with who you are. You would never give your backing to someone who was selfish, spoiled, or hateful.  You would not turn your back to all you are and all you hold dear to follow a seductive smooth-talking charlatan! You are not a sucker or a hypocrite! You wouldn’t be able to face yourself in the mirror if you did. 

A Crisis of Critical Thinking

As a toddler, my son loved trains. We sat by the crossing and waited for hours for trains. Once, as we waited, he proposed a way to make a train arrive: activate the gate. If we turned on the flashing lights and brought down the safety bar, he thought, the train would arrive. From his point of view, it made complete sense: the lights came first, the train came second. When I tried to explain it to him, he was incredulous: I just didn’t want to wait with him any longer. I didn’t know how to turn on the lights and I wasn’t willing to admit it. He WANTED that train to come and my rational (and correct) explanation did not satisfy him. I was powerless to do an experiment. 

I call this toddler logic. It makes its own kind of sense. Toddlers want what they want and they want it now! They are good at figuring out how to get it, even when their methods defy logic, reason, or common sense. 

P.T. Barnum said that there is a sucker born every minute. Like Barnum, there are people who have made the exploitation of toddler logic into a business plan. They are growing rich and powerful making people believe that all it will take for their train to come is to turn on the signal. 

Robocalls, phone scams, phish emails, and other schemes are flourishing. I have written about strategies to prevent falling victim to this kind of nefarious traps. It is a sad statement that being trusting and open can be used for harm. 

It is more than falling victim to fraud. We live in the age of alternative facts and false news. Conspiracy theories and misinformation are so prevalent that it is understandable that some even bright well-meaning folks are deceived, duped, and deluded – because other people make it very difficult to distinguish toddler logic from reasonable, rational thought. This is a crisis of critical thinking. 

What are the barriers to critical thinking? What habits of mind must we practice so we and the people we love do not fall down the skunk hole of toddler logic or worse? 

Critical thinking takes effort and time. Sometimes we don’t want to work that hard. We are not willing to do the heavy thinking that is almost always required to sift through the cacophony of misinformation. It is quicker, easier, and more satisfying to grab the first reasonable or appealing idea and not ponder further. Critical thinking requires intellectual patience and power.  

We must not confuse what we wish to be true with the verifiable facts. My son was invested in a train coming. He wanted to see a train. He was aware that, if we waited too long, I’d take us home and he wouldn’t get what he wanted.  Often, it is not our logic that drives our thinking, but our desires. We aren’t thinking; we are feeling. Because we want a specific answer or conclusion, we rationalize a way to get it. We know the sum of the problem and we fudge the numbers so they add up. 

Complexity is unavoidable, frightening, and not as attractive as simplicity. When the problem is too big, when we are overwhelmed by the complexity of the issue, we are tempted to simplify it. We reduce the problem and thus eliminate the pieces that are getting in the way of solving it – or getting us what we want. How many times have people framed issues with something like, “this seems complicated, but is really simple.” Few important issues are really cut and dried, and while we may argue over them, the problems that are likely to turn us into suckers are usually ones that, when simplified turn us into simpletons. 

Even when they deliver bad news, we must both evaluate and embrace authorities. Remember at the beginning of the pandemic when it seemed like everyone was an expert in medicine? I found myself asking “How do you know this?” and “Is there some research to back this up?” all the time! Yet, experts often disagree. We can’t be expert in everything and thus must rely on specialists to help us. It takes work and is highly complex to evaluate the authorities and weigh their opinions. Reading technical journal articles is both time consuming and not nearly as fun as reading novels! Wading through the opinions of specialists and authorities is like, well, root canal sometimes. Dismissing experts because of their expertise is dangerous; we may not like what the doctor tells us, but if we don’t listen to her, we might pay with our lives. 

Humility allows us to use error to our advantage. People like to be right and hate to be wrong. If we stick our neck out and make a statement, it is embarrassing when we make mistakes. Critical thinking requires error. It requires a process where we evaluate, decide, and then apply our thinking. Sometimes, oftentimes, that means we are wrong. Unless we have the humility and resilience to admit our errors, learn from them, and then change our thinking, we will be stuck. We will be like that person who will not take directions on the road trip. It will be very long, not where you want to go, and there will be no bathrooms.

Thinking is hard work. Critical thinking is complex and intricate work. Without it, however, we turn into P.T. Barnum’s suckers trying to lure trains with our signals. Some might come – but we will not have called them, even if we think we did. 

Good Special People

On January 6, the president told you that you are “very special” and you believed him. Actually, he confirmed what you already knew. You were more than special, you were uniquely called, selected, and empowered to fight a battle against those who threatened the vision that your television has imprinted on your hats, flags, and t-shirts. 

You have the god-given right to march into the most hallowed halls of our country and defecate wherever you want! You know that the election was stolen because trusted sources have repeated this to you since long before the election itself. You knew this would happen! You called it! You are so prophetic. You are like people from the Bible. 

If others disagree with you it is because they have been brainwashed by the media, turned into sheep by powerful forces, or are simply evil and anti-American. They watch the wrong channels. If they would just open their eyes, they would see – like you. 

You are judge, jury, soldier, avenger, scholar, and savior all rolled up in one incredible mass of awesome sauce. 

While others live in clouded delusions, you have divined the secret conspiracies that threatened your prominence as the master race, the guns that make you feel safe, and the rule of your favorite television reality show star. You are blessed. 

How dare they! How dare they take steal an election? How dare they think they are above the law? If they are going to attempt these terrible sins, then your only recourse, your best way of righting these horrendous wrongs is to pick up those guns and steal it back – and kill them. 

Nothing else will work. They have not listened to the oracles on television and social media. They have blasphemed against the man who was smart enough not to pay taxes and will therefore save us all. So they should be fired and fired upon. And you must do it. You and your friends, who are the best and the most patriotic Americans who have ever walked this precious land. 

And this has nothing to do with race! That is a distraction and diversion from those evil people who riot and kneel during the national anthem! They don’t love the flag like you do! You wear the flag like a warm blanket. You paint it on your skin like the people who lived on this land before us, but never understood how great this country could be. But you do! 

They are public servants and you are their masters! If they do not obey you, they deserve to be beaten or hanged! If the brainwashed sheep won’t save this great country, you will be the wolf who blows down their house of lies! They should be grateful. 

There are bad people. There are lots of bad people. They are everywhere. Some of them are out in the open, but many are hiding in the shadows. Many are powerful. Many are not Christian. Fortunately, you have the secret decoder ring to identify, capture, beat, and kill them. You are gifted. 

You do not need scientists or masks or vaccinations. Which is another one of their hoaxes! It is a fake crisis they are using to distract and justify their heinous actions. The numbers are inflated. The doctors are compromised. It is all a plot to take away our freedom. But you will rescue it! You will save us all – no mask needed. You are a superhero! 

And their vaccine is made from dead babies! You’ll never take it. Besides, soon we’ll have herd immunity since all those other people will take it. It’s okay for them to take it, but you would never defile your body with something so impure and profane. 

There is no way the election was lost. Everyone you know voted like you. Everyone who voted like you supports you. You are their representative. They voted for the same person you did and now you are their election avenger! You work for them and they belong to you. They wanted to do this but were not awesome enough. You will do it for them. 

For the sake of our democracy, for the sake of all you hold dear, you will stop at nothing. You have no doubts. You have never been wrong about important things like this. You will not hesitate. You will not listen to their lies. It is your way or we burn it all down. 

We should thank god for you. God would approve. Jesus would do the same thing. He was in favor of violence and hate. His message was one of political revolution, right? You are a modern-day messiah creating a new holy land. 

Who wouldn’t want to be you? 

Vote with Integrity

Recent events have made me think about integrity. Merriam-Webster provides three definitions:

 

1. firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility.

2. an unimpaired condition: soundness.

3. the quality or state of being complete and undivided: completeness

 

Do I do this? Am I a person of integrity?

 

Can I articulate the code that guides my behavior? Is it an external code, like the Ten Commandments, the Constitution, or some other written set of rules? Have I created my own set of values by which I evaluate my choices?  One can’t be incorruptible if there is nothing to corrupt! What are my guiding values and where do they come from?

 

Is my condition sound? Is my behavior “free from flaw, defect, or decay?” Is it “solid,” “firm,”  “secure,” and “stable?” Do I work to make sure my decisions are “free from error, fallacy, or misapprehension?” Are they “based on thorough knowledge and experience” and “legally” and “logically valid?” Do I show sound and “good judgment or sense?”

 

Am I complete? Is my integrity complete? Do I have all the information and “necessary parts, elements, or steps?” I am being “thorough,” and “proficient?”

Who are people of integrity? How do I know?

 

Some people say one thing and then do another. We call them hypocrites. Others say one thing and then renounce their values when they are no longer convenient or easy. We call them opportunists. Others discard their values when they stand in the way of material or political goals. You probably know what they might be called.  

 

Yet, it can be appropriate to alter one’s values. Can that be done without compromising one’s integrity? We learn. We grow. We change with condition and time. The rules that guided us at four, fourteen, or forty are different. We should not be so rigid or simple to think that the same set of rules will always guide our choices.

 

Or should we? The Ten Commandments don’t change. Perhaps some of our values are unchanging and others need to adapt to current circumstances. How do we know the difference?

 

Does integrity have some basic foundational precepts? Are there some straightforward and direct values that we may bind to our hands, heads, and hearts?

Try these on for a start:  

• Tell the whole truth; be honest.

• Keep your promises and fulfill your obligations.

• Do no harm to others in tangible or intangible ways.

• Actively help those in need.

• Nurture children; support elders.

• Work with other people collaboratively and with their consent.

There are some tools that are necessary to “adhere” to a “code” and remain “sound.”

• I must be able to think critically and reason logically and dispassionately.

• I must be able to tell truth from falsehood –and fact from opinion.

• I must be aware of my desires and how they might affect my thinking and feeling.

• I must listen to others and be able to accept and understand their points of view. 

• I must be able to evaluate others’ points of view dispassionately and with as little bias as possible. I must be aware of that bias and its effects.

• My emotions and my reason must be in concert. While I may have a “gut” feeling, I must pair such feelings with consideration.

• I must acknowledge my own fallibility and own my mistakes when I inevitably make them – and then work to correct them!

Integrity is an active process and more than a state of being. It is a worthy goal. As we go to the ballot box, let us be voters and citizens of integrity.

Name Blame

It is completely my fault. My memory is not what I wish it would be. I would like to have every student’s name at the tip of my mind. When I bump into a former student or see a student from a few years ago in the hall, I want to be able to call them by the correct name immediately.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen all the time. I used to be proud of how often I could get students’ names right. Now, I am starting to struggle. I usually remember the student – or parent or classmate or neighbor – but my mouth doesn’t always keep pace with my memory. I know the person, but the name lags behind.

To make it worse, if I mixed up two students’ names when they were in class, that confusion sticks forever. The mix up may have nothing to do with looks. If I was not able to cure myself of saying Sarah when I met Carrie or saying Carrie when I meant Sarah when we shared class, I am going to take this bad habit with me.

And I don’t think that Sarah IS Carrie! I know the difference! This is not about knowing the person; this is about slipping and calling them the wrong name. I often know that I have blown it immediately. My memory is late.

There were two boys in one of my classes last year and I worked hard to not mix them up. But in the hall a few weeks ago, I blew it. Later, the one whose name I used (incorrectly) said to me, “I heard you called Brett my name.” Yup! I did! I knew it wasn’t you. I can tell you and Brett apart. It wasn’t that I get the two of you confused, I had a memory glitch!

Unfortunately, the problem is getting worse. The more names in my head, the more likely I am going to mess them up. The other night, I went to a restaurant and a recent graduate was there. I couldn’t remember her name. I was only moderately consoled that my wife couldn’t remember her name either. You guessed it; I remembered her name moment she left.

Maybe this is just a slowing down of mental agility. As I am getting older, I am struggling to get the name from my brain to my tongue fast enough. Maybe it is a volume problem. I have taught several thousand students and met even more parents. Add my own classmates and the numbers are staggering.

Which is why I am so grateful for Facebook and Instagram. Former students, parents, and classmates with whom I am connected via social media help me get ready for these meetings. Of course, I am not friends with current students, but once they are out of my current class, I could use the help. I have about 140 students in class right now, but I have more than 300 former students roaming the halls! Keeping all that in my head is task enough!

I have thirty-two yearbooks on my shelf at home and every so often I use them. I went to a gathering and caught a glimpse of a former student. I knew what class he was in. I remembered his senior project. I recalled the room in which we studied together. I just couldn’t come up with his name! I went back to the yearbook and found him instantly. In fact, I had his first name before I had his photograph. I was just a day late.  

I apologize. I blush! I hate getting names wrong! I wish I had a big yearbook of just my people. Perhaps I should rehearse and review names on a daily basis. Would that be enough to keep my old mind in shape?

Excuses aside, I am coming to terms with saying, “You are going to have to help me with your name.” I am so grateful for the reconnections that start with, “I’m so-in-so.” Of course, you are. The blame is mine. Nonetheless, I am so glad to see you!

Seven Situations

Situation 1:

“It’s time for bed.”
“No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“YES, it IS!”

“NO, it is NOT!”

Have you ever had this kind of “argument” with a toddler (or a non-toddler)? You can’t win. It isn’t an argument. It is contradiction. It is like that wonderful argument sketch from Monty Python. It is not an argument, it is merely contradiction.  

Situation 2:

Many people don’t go to the doctor or the dentist for one reason: they are worried there is an issue, but don’t want that concern to be verified. In other words, they think something might be wrong, but if they don’t get an expert to tell them they are correct, then they don’t have to face the problem. Therefore, since there isn’t a problem if they don’t get it confirmed and thus there is no need to face the consequences of dealing with it. Problem solved!

Situation 3:

Back to small children: when my child was quite young, she would mix up feeling and thinking. She would say, “I think that Nana is coming over” when her grandmother was not scheduled to visit. What she really meant was, “I want Nana to come over.” It was her wish. However, she assumed that, if she wishes it, it would come true! To paraphrase Pirandello: it will happen if you want it to happen. This is sometimes referred to as magical or wishful thinking.

Situation 4:

According to Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development, if someone is at a preconventional stage of development, then things are morally wrong only if someone catches you doing them. In other words, if you commit a crime, it is only bad if you are caught and punished for it. If you are not found out, then there is no problem. The problem is not the immoral act, it is the revelation of it.  If you aren’t caught, you aren’t wrong!

Situation 5:

Some friends used to shush me in restaurants if veal was on the menu. As a vegetarian, I don’t eat meat. Under most circumstances, I don’t try to convince people to eat the way I do, but veal is the exception to the rule. When they started to order, some people would try to get the veal orderer to choose something else. Others would say to me, “We know, we know, just don’t say anything.” The idea here is that if we are not reminded of a problematic fact, we can ignore it. Veal will taste good and is an acceptable choice as long as we put the ugly truth out of our minds. It is delicious as long as we close our eyes (and minds).

Situation 6:

Have you ever heard a new song and taken an instant dislike to it? Later, you heard it a second, then a third, then a fourth time and soon, you are beginning to see what others see in it. After hearing it many times, you start to like it, even though you did not initially. Is it that you like it or you are now getting used to it?

Advertisers use a similar concept: if you hear something often enough, you will both retain and believe it. Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day, Listerine doesn’t kill germs that cause bad breath, and Duracell batteries don’t last longer. Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propagandist, is quoted as saying that, if you repeat a lie enough, people will eventually believe it.

Situation 7:

People are driving cars into crowds. Bullies are hurting children. Dictators are killing people. You say that there is blame on many sides and refuse to take a side.

You have taken a side.

Scram Scam: Some Guidelines to Prevent Scammers From Tricking You!

As we prepare to return to school, we must remember not to let down our guard and be duped by unscrupulous cons. There are too many people trying to take advantage of our trust and goodwill. Here are a few guidelines to help you from becoming another victim:

Email:

This article on Apple World Today cites Verizon research stating that 30% of emails designed to trick you (called phish emails) are opened! The article goes on to make several good suggestions about spotting a phish email. Here are a few suggestions to avoid email scams:

Don’t click on links in emails: This is how scammers trick you. The typical phish email appears to come from your bank and says that your account is frozen (or some other terrible thing) and you need to re-enter your password. The email looks like it comes from your bank and, when you click the link, the website looks like your bank’s website. But it is not! When you enter your information, it gives you an error message because, of course, it is not the real website. You have just given the bad folks your bank user name and password. Recently, scammers have used compromised email addresses to send phish emails. So it may be that the email appears to come from someone you know! No matter who sent the email, don’t click on the links – period!

Contact the sender – not through the email: If the email appears to be from your bank, don’t click on it, call your bank using the number on your debit or credit card or on your statements. If the email says there is a problem with your Apple ID, go to Apple.com on your own and log in or call Apple on the phone. This rule will also apply to phone scammers (which we will discuss shortly). If the sender of the email is a friend, call them. Replying to a scam email from a friend will only tell the scammer that you read the email. If you have a second email for your friend, try it or contact them through social media. If my email was hacked, I would like to know about it. 

Look at the sender’s email address closely: As the article linked above states, often phish emails look like they come from sources you trust. Your email has a name associated with it. If I send you an email, you won’t see the actual address, you will see my name. If you click on or hover over my name, you will see the actual address from which I sent the email. If I receive an email from American Express, I would expect that the sender has an American Express email. The label may say American Express, but if I go to the “sent from” line and look at the email, and it says something else, it is probably a phish.

Web:

Scammers can get you through more than email. This BottomLine article talks about how the scammers might trick us by creating websites that are one letter away from the sites we are trying to reach. The example in the article is that you type Netflix.co and forget to add the last letter. This reaches a website that looks like Netflix, but is, in fact, a way to harvest your Netflix password!

Examine the URL: Just as you examine the email address, look at the web address (called a URL = Universal Resource Locator) and make sure that it matches the site you are trying to use. If I am trying to look at my Bank of American account, the website must be bankofamerica.com. Please note that the address has the “of” in it. I discovered that bankamerica.com is not a functioning web address – yet.

Make sure the site uses https: In front of the web address are the letters http, which stand for hypertext transfer protocol. That means you are looking at a regular website. However, a site that adds an S means that it is secure! Here is an article from Computerworld explaining why it is so important to make sure that any site on which you enter personal information has that S and is secure.

Don’t enter any personal information on any website if you are on a public network: If you are in a hotel or at a coffee shop or in a library, you are on public wifi. The network that you are using is not unlike the old party lines where everyone could hear everyone else talking. With the right technology, a person can see the activity on a public website. Don’t enter passwords, credit card numbers, or any personal information unless you are on a secure and private network either at your home or work place. This is also why some people are using encrypted virtual private networks to protect their information. Click here to read an article on VPNs.

Use resources like Web of Trust: There are browser extensions (apps that run in Chrome, Safari, Firefox or other browsers  - you aren’t still using Explorer, are you?) and give the browser additional functions. I like Web of Trust because it presents me with a green, yellow, or red circle indicating the safety of the website I am using. It will present me with an alert I have gone to a problematic or scammer website. Norton also lists ten signs that a shopping site is secure which could be applied to any commercial website.  

Phone:

Don’t answer phone calls from numbers you don’t recognize: If the call is from a legitimate source, they will most likely leave you a voice message or contact you another way. If you are concerned you have missed an important call, call the number you have rather than the number that called you. Recently, scammers have made their number look like your number, so it appears to be coming from a local source. Don’t be tricked: an unknown number is unknown even if it has the same exchange or appears to come from your town.

Don’t talk to strangers on the phone: One scam worked this way: when a person picked up the scam call, the scammer would immediately ask, “Can you hear me?” When the person answered, “Yes,” their response was recorded and could be used elsewhere! If you pick up the phone, perhaps thinking it is from a legitimate caller, and discover it is from an unsolicited source – hang up! If the source says they are the IRS or your bank, hang up and call that source using a number you have used in the past successfully.

Don’t give personal information over the phone: Don’t provide your credit card, social security number, or other personal information over the phone unless you have made the call yourself and are 110% sure you are really talking to Ticketmaster, your bank, or your grandchild. If someone claiming to be from your electric company calls and says they need your bank account number, tell them you will call them back – and then use the number on your bill! 

Other Thoughts:

If you have any doubt at all, assume it is a scam: While I’d like to think the best about people, scammers are very good at tricking us. The latest scam sent an email that included a link that, when clicked, opened a Google drive window and asked the victim to sign in to allow an app access to their account. It not only looked real, it was the real Google sign in. The trick was that the scammer’s link (thus the “don’t click on links” rule) connected the victim to the scammer’s app! It tricked professionals! However, a little more care and the simple rule of don’t click on links in email could have saved them! Trust your gut reaction and err on the side of caution.

Go slowly and double or triple check: If your grandchild, niece, or neighbor calls and says that they are stuck in a foreign country without money, check with other people (like their families) before giving the caller your information. Scammers make things seem like an emergency and that, if you don’t act immediately, horrible things will happen. Horrible things will happen if you rush and act too quickly.

Travel Scams: Here is a fantastic infographic listing forty travel scams and the countries in which they have been reported. It is worth a look before you go on a trip.

Use strong passwords and two part authentication: I have written about ways to prevent your accounts from being hacked using better passwords, password vaults, and making your logins to important accounts harder to hack.

If you believe you have fallen for a scam and given away your information, you need to notify the appropriate authorities as soon as you can. Lifewire has a good article telling you some first steps to take if you have fallen for a scam. Your local police department is where you would report any sort of crime. Here is a link to the FTC’s scam alert page. It is a good place to look if you are wondering, “might this be a scam?” With a little knowledge, hopefully, we can stop the scammers from succeeding!

Learning Is Not Possible Without Mistakes: Being Wrong

No one likes to be wrong. Mistakes are not our goal. However, without mistakes, without being wrong, we don’t grow. Learning is a messy business and mistakes are a critical part of the process.

I was introduced to this video though a magnificent blog post by a teacher from Colorado. She uses this video after the election as a way to open students to the process of disagreeing, listening, and being open to change.

Take a look: