Precious Parking

The high school should really allow all students to drive to school. There is no reason just to limit it to seniors. If there is a space shortage, we should raise money and build a parking structure, just like they have at the colleges. 

There is no way my Precious would take the bus. The bus arrives far too early in the morning and Precious needs to sleep late. Otherwise, we get cranky and foul-mouthed and that doesn’t fly in my house! Walking or biking are just not practical. Besides, Precious has to take sports equipment and a computer and the hot/cold tray that Cook prepares for lunch each day. The bus makes so many stops and is not air-conditioned (or I think it isn’t, I’m not sure) and my Precious can’t take that kind of environment. 

Besides, there is only one bus after sports practice and it goes just about everywhere. It would take Precious a half hour or more to get home on it. That isn’t practical. Precious has tutoring in all the major subjects twice a week, private sports coaching, ACT and SAT tutoring, and frequent meetings with our college helper. I love that college helper. She is making sure that Precious is on top of all those deadlines. Precious doesn’t have to do anything! This college stuff is so stressful. Why can’t we just let Precious into my alma mater and be done with it? Precious will be going there anyway, why do we have to hop through all these meaningless hoops? 

So, I have a friend of a friend who has a little home a few blocks from the school. They charge pay $500 per semester for Precious to park at their house. We were going to let Precious take the Escalade that we usually keep at the lake house, but it’s two years old, so we got a Porche to replace it and Precious will drive that. We’ll just have to use my Land Rover when we are up north. It is a sacrifice we are just going to have to make. 

I wish my friend’s friend’s home was a little closer to the school. As it is, Precious has to walk three blocks. I park there when I stop by and take Precious’s Land Rover to the gas station and fill it up. Precious doesn’t have time for that. I can’t believe how long it takes me and that car always needs so much gas! 

I don’t know what we would do if Precious wasn’t able to drive to school. I can’t get up that early. It is an ungodly time, anyway. None of our people have arrived yet, well Cook has, but that is to make Precious’s breakfast and lunch. Cook can’t be expected to be a driver, too. 

I am concerned that, once Precious can drive to school, the staff will take all the good parking places. I don’t want Precious parking so far away from the building that it is the same distance as the friend’s friend’s house! That would be so unfair! I think kids who park in the nearby neighborhoods should have special spots right near the door when they become seniors. After all, they have been waiting to drive to school their entire lives! 

PT in DC

Step right up, folks, and pay close attention! You’ve been fooled, hoodwinked, and beguiled -but it isn’t your fault, no, it’s not! The fault is not in our stars but in our politicians! That’s right! That’s what I said! Those so-called elected officials, they are doing you wrong, yes, they are! They are spewing lies, keeping you from the truth, and then taking it all for themselves! They don’t care about you, not at all. They care about power, riches, and keeping themselves on top! 

But you don’t have to take it! You don’t have to stand idly by and let yourself be abused, misused, and confused. I am here to open your eyes, clean out your ears, and purify your mind! You always suspected these things, am I right? It all didn’t really make sense, did it? You knew that in your secret inner heart! You knew that this country was meant to be another way. I am here to take your hand and lead you to that better way, a righteous way, the way the founders meant it to be! 

I know what you read in the papers. I know what you see on the screens. Those lewd, filthy, and obscene lies should be banned! Yes, they should! How these reporters go home to their families and sleep at night is beyond me! They should be racked with guilt and contempt! They’ve been fooling you – and they know it! 

You can’t trust them, but you can trust me! I’m telling it like it is and you are discerning and wise and can tell the difference between me and those money-hungry purveyors of poppycock! Our country is in danger! Our country is under attack! You knew it, didn’t you! Down in your bones in the pit of your stomach, you knew bad things were happening. Why wasn’t anyone ringing the bell? Where were the people who should stop this? They are the problem, my friends! They made this mess and they love it! 

It is up to us! Yes, you and me! Ordinary, moral, and upstanding citizens to take back our country. Take it back from those who would sell it out to every pauper and lazybones, every criminal and crook, every blasphemer and heretic! They are turning our clean country into a dirty dump of dung! Stand against them, friends! Stand with me! 

They’ll say you have to change the way you speak and use different words so not to hurt anyone’s feelings. They’ll tell you we should teach our kids history that is best forgotten. Well, it is not okay! I can say what I want to say the way I want to say it and so can you! I can teach my kids history the way I want it! 

When you pull back the curtain, friends, what you see in the dark is frightening and disgusting. It is cosmically horrible! The men behind the curtain, the people who are pulling the strings, are quietly and quickly turning us into their chumps and dupes, yes they are! You suspected there was a secret group making all this happen – and you’re right! I am here to reveal that secret! I am here to put light on the people running the show! 

They think you’re stupid! They think you will believe what any powerful person tells you because it comes from them! We know they have it wrong! They think if they give you some sexy candy, you’ll melt in their hands, but you are tougher than that! They think if they drum up some scary story of sickness, you’ll cower in the corner and put your head in a bag, but they have it all wrong! They can’t get you to shoot yourself full of their lies! No way! You’ll shoot yourself and everyone else before you’ll ever fall for such two-cent stage foolery! 

No, they can’t make a fool of you! They may make all sorts of claims! They may say they are Jewish; they may say they are rich; they may say they helped puppies and vets and orphans and royalty, but you know it for what it is: a pack of lies! Don’t say hooray! Don’t back away! Just say no to their evil ways! 

I stand with you, my friends! You won’t have to worry in the bathroom, bedroom, or boardroom! They want to tax the rich to feed the poor, but I say every man for himself! Fair is fair and right is right and I won’t pay for others’ problems! Hell (sorry for the strong language), you shouldn’t even have to pay for your own problems, should you? No, you shouldn’t because you didn’t make those problems. You aren’t to blame, no way, no how. You are blameless and pure as the driven snow and no one has a right to say otherwise! 

I’m a humble man, yes, I am. I didn’t have much schooling, but I didn’t need it and neither do you! I may not know much, but I am wise enough to see the way things are going and know they are moving in the wrong direction! You are right to be alarmed and angry! 

Every minute, my friends, every second, we are sinking deeper into muck and mayhem.  As the hands of the clock fly around, we are dragged down, my friends, further and farther. There is only one way back! There is only one way back to our glory, our grandeur, our God-given greatness that we will not let them destroy! 

So stand with me, my friends! Give me your money! Give me your minds! Give me your votes! Give me everything you have! Because, every minute, I’ll give you what you deserve!  

Reading for Treasure – Thanksgiving Leftovers

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction.

Here are some Thanksgiving leftovers: articles I have been saving, but haven’t neatly fit into a theme or category for the past few posts. 

One member of my family used to get very upset when another member of the family would reply to texts simply with, “k.” This article from Lifehacker makes the case for not sending quick and short text responses like this one for a simple reason: it comes off as rude: “Don’t Text ‘OK.’”

If it isn’t clear from the name of my blog, I am an enthusiastic fan of Fred Rogers. There has been some conversation that his tone and style would not work well with kids today. I disagree and so does Mary Pflum Peterson in this older article from The Washington Post, “What Happened When I Showed Vintage Mister Rogers to my 21st Century Kids.” 

One of my most recent posts questions some of the traditions of weddings – many of which focus on gender. This wonderful Valentine’s Day article from The Atlantic makes the point clearly, “If You Want a Marriage of Equals, Then Date as Equals.” Yup. 

Speaking of couples with some issues, how about Lord and Lady Macbeth? I laughed out loud reading, “A Letter from the Condo Association to Mr. and Mrs. Macbeth” from McSweeny’s. While we all might have had neighborhood issues, these are on a Shakespearean scale! 

While the above piece is satirical, this satire piece from last winter’s Chicago Tribune by Rex Huppke is right on point in its treatment of “deniers.” Whether it is the pandemic, insurrections, or other clear and verifiable events, Mr. Huppke joins them to cry, “A Major Chicago Snow Storm? That’s What the Media Want You to Believe!” Snowstorms? Hurricanes? Bah, humbug! They are all conspiracies. 

Finally, a wonderful and relevant discussion of an interesting dice game called “Drop Dead” in the fantastic blog, Math with Bad Drawings. This game, which you could certainly play, also demonstrates a lesson about complex systems and the idea that more is better: “When A Trillion Dice Are No Better Than A Dozen.” 

I am currently rereading Frank Herbert’s Dune before seeing the movie! 

Red Lights Oppress My Freedom: I am Declaring Independence!

Why do people – or should I say, sheeple - stop at red lights? Who gives anyone the right to tell me how to drive my car? It is my car, it does not belong to the state! Why should I be forced to give up my freedom just to make way for some idiot? Why should others be able to go while I am made to wait? That’s not fair!  

Stop signs and speed limits are against the constitution! Freedom and liberty for all doesn’t mean stopping and slowing down! Don’t tread on my right to go wherever I want however I want whenever I want. That is my right as an American! That is what makes America great! I don’t stop for anything! 

The government wants total control. Not only do they make me stop, they want me to give them my money in taxes. They are thieves and this is anti-freedom robbery! No one can tell me that I have to give MY money! I choose what I do with my money and if I decide I don’t want the government to have it, then it is my right as an American to say, no! No, taxation without represent – without anything!  

Why should I pay for electricity or water or wifi? Those things are natural resources which means they belong to everyone! Nature is mine because it is in America and I am an American! No one charges me for the air, but just wait! I shouldn’t have written that because that will give the regressive idiots in charge an idea for another way to try and put the squeeze on me! Cable is too damn expensive anyway! It should be free to everyone! 

I am sick and tired of people who think they are so high and mighty trying to tell me what I can or cannot do! It is my birthright as an American to have no limits, no rules, no restrictions at all! The army should come in and get rid of those morons who think that we should give everyone everything! They want healthcare, preschool, whatever they ask for! No way! Everyone should get what they deserve and I deserve freedom! 

It’s like what has been happening with voting. It is too easy to vote! People should not just be given ballots, they have to earn them! Only real Americans are worthy of voting and those who don’t agree with me shouldn’t be able to vote ever! That would take care of these liberal socialist government giveaways. 

I got this letter telling me I had to go to the courthouse for jury duty! Jury duty? Who asked you? I don’t have time for that! There are plenty of people who have nothing to do, let them take care of jury duty! You can’t make me! 

And they aren’t going to get my guns! Not a chance. I can have as many guns as I want and no one gets a say in that. The second amendment means that I can shoot anything I want. I can have automatics and shotguns and, hell, I might even get a tank! Try to stop my tank, red light! 

I didn’t sit in school for ten years to be told that I had fewer rights than someone who came here yesterday! So many special interest groups get special treatments. They kiss up to politicians and get fancy stuff. That is what is wrong with America today. Everyone is equal! Everyone has the same chances. If you made mistakes, suck it up and deal with that. If you don’t have the guts to grab what you can, then you don’t deserve it. That’s how all these rich guys got rich in the first place; they grabbed what they could and ran! We need more people like that. 

So take my advice, forget those red lights, throw away those tax bills, and do what you want. America is the home of the free and the land of the brave enough to take what is theirs. I don’t owe anything to anyone. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. So there! Happy July Fourth! Give me fireworks!

Good Special People

On January 6, the president told you that you are “very special” and you believed him. Actually, he confirmed what you already knew. You were more than special, you were uniquely called, selected, and empowered to fight a battle against those who threatened the vision that your television has imprinted on your hats, flags, and t-shirts. 

You have the god-given right to march into the most hallowed halls of our country and defecate wherever you want! You know that the election was stolen because trusted sources have repeated this to you since long before the election itself. You knew this would happen! You called it! You are so prophetic. You are like people from the Bible. 

If others disagree with you it is because they have been brainwashed by the media, turned into sheep by powerful forces, or are simply evil and anti-American. They watch the wrong channels. If they would just open their eyes, they would see – like you. 

You are judge, jury, soldier, avenger, scholar, and savior all rolled up in one incredible mass of awesome sauce. 

While others live in clouded delusions, you have divined the secret conspiracies that threatened your prominence as the master race, the guns that make you feel safe, and the rule of your favorite television reality show star. You are blessed. 

How dare they! How dare they take steal an election? How dare they think they are above the law? If they are going to attempt these terrible sins, then your only recourse, your best way of righting these horrendous wrongs is to pick up those guns and steal it back – and kill them. 

Nothing else will work. They have not listened to the oracles on television and social media. They have blasphemed against the man who was smart enough not to pay taxes and will therefore save us all. So they should be fired and fired upon. And you must do it. You and your friends, who are the best and the most patriotic Americans who have ever walked this precious land. 

And this has nothing to do with race! That is a distraction and diversion from those evil people who riot and kneel during the national anthem! They don’t love the flag like you do! You wear the flag like a warm blanket. You paint it on your skin like the people who lived on this land before us, but never understood how great this country could be. But you do! 

They are public servants and you are their masters! If they do not obey you, they deserve to be beaten or hanged! If the brainwashed sheep won’t save this great country, you will be the wolf who blows down their house of lies! They should be grateful. 

There are bad people. There are lots of bad people. They are everywhere. Some of them are out in the open, but many are hiding in the shadows. Many are powerful. Many are not Christian. Fortunately, you have the secret decoder ring to identify, capture, beat, and kill them. You are gifted. 

You do not need scientists or masks or vaccinations. Which is another one of their hoaxes! It is a fake crisis they are using to distract and justify their heinous actions. The numbers are inflated. The doctors are compromised. It is all a plot to take away our freedom. But you will rescue it! You will save us all – no mask needed. You are a superhero! 

And their vaccine is made from dead babies! You’ll never take it. Besides, soon we’ll have herd immunity since all those other people will take it. It’s okay for them to take it, but you would never defile your body with something so impure and profane. 

There is no way the election was lost. Everyone you know voted like you. Everyone who voted like you supports you. You are their representative. They voted for the same person you did and now you are their election avenger! You work for them and they belong to you. They wanted to do this but were not awesome enough. You will do it for them. 

For the sake of our democracy, for the sake of all you hold dear, you will stop at nothing. You have no doubts. You have never been wrong about important things like this. You will not hesitate. You will not listen to their lies. It is your way or we burn it all down. 

We should thank god for you. God would approve. Jesus would do the same thing. He was in favor of violence and hate. His message was one of political revolution, right? You are a modern-day messiah creating a new holy land. 

Who wouldn’t want to be you? 

How to Get Your Children Into the Right Colleges

It is never too early to start the college process. As we all know, the college your children attend will directly create their future success in every way. The right school is important economically, socially, academically, and this is true for the child as well. In fact, if you haven’t started thinking about how to ensure that your children get into a really good school, a school that will be the envy of your friends and the members of your social group, a school that you will be proud to put on your bumper and sweatshirt, you are basically screwed. Too bad, your child is going to some cut-rate Acme college with all the other schlubs.

But that is NOT you! You are in control and on top of this critical and crucial process and all you need is a roadmap.

We know the things you have already done: you moved to a community with really good schools. You started to drill your children even in utero. You went through numbers, letters, taught your children multiple languages and begin computer programing with baby blocks. You spoke to your children in Sanskrit, Latin, and Esperanto.

You enrolled your child in sports as soon as they could walk. Of course, you chose individual sports because one can’t really count on those other parents to support your children. In their free time, your children should take humanitarian trips to exotic locations, start businesses, run political campaigns, and make guest appearances on national talk shows.

A unique musical instrument is a must! Everyone has caught on about the oboe and bassoon. Your children have mastered the theremin and didgeridoo!

You read the New York Times and Wall Street Journal to your children daily. They are political experts ready to lead their debate teams, congressional clubs, and PACs.

Side note here: if your children resist all these activities, don’t like the drills and skills, you have a loser. Sorry. Be strong and make them what they need to be. Don’t take no for answer. Children can be made in their parents’ image – or even better. Even if your children remind you of yourself at their age, there is still hope.

It is never too early to start to work on the ACT, SAT, and SOB. A test a day keeps bad colleges away, I always say. The more familiar the children are with the tests, the closer you are to that perfect score. Have them start taking the test in the second grade. This will qualify them for gifted opportunities galore!

The gifted track in school is key! Do whatever it takes to make sure your child has a gifted label. Sometimes this may mean visits to doctors and other professionals for evidence. Check with your neighbors for the professionals near you who dispense the diagnoses you desire. If the gifted track is not working, then your child needs special accommodations. It is one or the other, of course! Those expensive tests will come in handy again because extended time is great on college entrance exams!

Homework is a family affair. Work with your children to make sure they understand how you do their homework. Simply doing their homework does not ensure good school performance. They must carefully observe and be able to explain what you have done for them.

Summer is not a break! Computer, writing, architecture, science, and countless other academic camps and gifted summer programs are a must! Make sure they are at a college that everyone will recognize. This begins the relationship. They will have gone to the right school even before they finish the eighth grade!

You will need professional help. A college consultant should be engaged no later than sixth grade. Pick someone who brags that they can get their clients admitted to any school! This expert will give you a break by taking over all the uninteresting form filling and writing and hoops that you must jump through. You don’t have time for all that and your children would just do it wrong or not at all. Pay this specialist to do it for you! They fill out the applications, write the essays, and hound the children. You can continue your wonderful parenting!

If your kids say they want a say in the process, remind them that this far too important for children. They just don’t understand. Someday, they will!

Sign up for every honors class your school offers. Make sure your kids are taking AP, IB, or FU as soon as possible. Send the teachers of these classes generous gifts, and train in your student in teacher handling techniques such as complimentary strategies, kissing up, and “I want to be just like you” tactics. Remind them to tell each teacher that “you changed my life” at least once a semester.

Since your hired gun is doing the heavy lifting, you can sit back and enjoy the constant college conversations. Remember, when you tell people where your children attend, the response should always be awe and envy. Fourteen to twenty-five applications are the absolute minimum. Don’t worry about costs! The worth of a good school is priceless! Admittance is its own reward.

By the end of these eighteen years, your children will have become academic, athletic, and artistic superstars who will achieve and earn more than your peers could imagine. Eventually, they will thank you for all your hard work. Once you are done, you can start a business helping younger parents navigate this perilous journey.

Don’t you wish your parents had done this?

With Apologies to Noel Coward, A Plea During the Week Before Spring Break!

Don’t pull your daughter out of school, Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school

She is already confounded

This class’s pretty tough

And admitting the fact that she can’t subtract

If that isn’t reason enough

She’s a nice girl and though her grades are just fair

She’s not the type that can rebound and retool

I repeat, Mrs. Worthington, sweet Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school!

Regarding yours, dear Mrs. Worthington

Of the week before the break

Although you got a great deal on the flight

I won’t give up the fight since we can’t teach her to write

If you make her disappear, Mrs. Worthington

It is beyond absurd

Why in reality would you unilaterally take her away, missing those days

And setting her back weeks!

Don’t pull your daughter out of school, Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school

She’s a bit of a slow starter, you must honestly confess

And the quality of her work would surely defeat

Her chances of her success

It’s not that she doesn’t exactly excel in class

But missing before break, she’ll be April’s fool

On my knees, Mrs. Worthington, please Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school

Don’t pull your daughter out of school, Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school

Though they showed movies before break

At the junior high last year

I’m afraid, missing class, she’ll not pass, we don’t do that here.
She’ll come back with a tan, from her two weeks in Cannes

But by missing a week, she’ll not swim but sink!

No more buts, Mrs. Worthington, nuts! Mrs. Worthington

Don’t pull your daughter out of school!

Fox Renews Surprise Hit Trumpfoolery for Second Season

Fox Network announced early on Wednesday that they are renewing the surprisingly popular sitcom Trumpfoolery for a second season.

The show features a hapless billionaire and reality TV star who accidently wanders onto the set of a presidential debate and suddenly finds himself a primary candidate and hilarity ensues.

Throughout the first season, candidate Donald's misadventures included mistaking a KKK leader for a respected public figure, getting in an online argument with a beauty queen, being accused of sexual misconduct, problems with taxes, and insulting just about every person he met. The season ended with our hero having second thoughts and trying to sabotage his own campaign only to find that he appealed to the voting public even more than his highly qualified opponent. In a shocking and side-splitting finale, our poor rich blunderer is swept into office!

The second season will feature such antics as getting lost in Washington DC, a son bringing home a new girlfriend who turns out to be a Russian agent, nominating an old friend for the Supreme Court who turns out to be very different than expected, taking away millions of people’s healthcare, and nearly starting a nuclear war! We’ll get a visit from a wacky gay cousin and meet a secret neighbor we see only over the top of a wall. The season will build to an outrageous and uproarious finale as Donald fires everyone and tries to navigate the presidency on his own! The producers of the show say the second season will even be produced without a laugh track.

Rumor has it that Fox is trying to contract for seasons three and four but there are some legal obstacles in the way.

Fun With Guns: Guns for Everyone!

The solution to the problem of mass shootings and even the threat of terrorist attacks is to make sure that there are enough guns that a shooter would be stopped by an armed citizen. The reason so few mass shootings have actually been prevented this way is that there just aren’t enough guns out there.

It is clear what we must do: give everyone a gun – or two! A shooter would have to be crazy to attempt to cause a massacre because each victim is also a potential shooter!

But what if the shooter has an automatic weapon? What if the shooter goes into a school?

The solution is simple: teachers should be permitted to carry automatic weapons and their students should be armed, just in case. Weapons should be as important an item on the school supply list as crayons, smocks, and paste. Perhaps students should purchase ammunition for their teachers just as they now bring in boxes of tissue paper.

Consider the possibilities: This would not only protect our schools from mass shootings, it could also be the ultimate solution to the problem of bullying. You’d have to be out of your mind to bully a kid you knew was packing a pistol.

Since everyone is going to have a gun, this would resolve a host of social issues. No more domestic violence or armed robbery. It would be insane to drive by and shoot someone when the person around the next corner could shoot back! Who would do that?

Frankly, there is a lot out there to fear. There are bad guys (and even some bad gals) around every corner. People who do bad things, say bad words, and think bad thoughts, This is endangering our right to live the lives we want. If we all had guns, those people would have lots of good reasons to change their evil ways!

Think about it: that person texting in the movie theater, cutting you off on the highway, budging in line at the store, or putting up idiotic signs on his lawn would be stopped in his tracks! This is democracy in action!

It would be the end of crime. Should someone be stupid enough to actually step out of line, BANG! No one would make that mistake more than once!

We would have a renaissance of civility. People would treat each other well again. They would think about what they did or said because it could have serious consequences. Would they make fun of people who believed that vaccinations cause autism? I don’t think so. Would they criticize politicians who want to ban gay marriage but end up having gay affairs? Not in public, they wouldn’t!

No more name-calling! No more silly questions. People would do good things, say good words, and think good thoughts - or they would have to face the wrath of those who disagreed! We’d be perfectly confident that no one would offend! We could call it that: perfect confidence or PC for short!

Laurie Anderson said it best. In United States Live, she noted that “to be really safe you should always carry a bomb on an airplane. Because the chances of there being one bomb on a plane are pretty small. But the chances of two bombs are almost minuscule. So by carrying a bomb on a plane, the odds of your becoming a hostage or of getting blown up are astronomically reduced.” Now that is logical! Why can’t our politicians think this way?

If every man, woman, child, and pet had a gun, the odds of being shot or being a victim of a crime would greatly reduced. Why aren’t we doing this right now? That is the great question! Talk to your congressmen right way – or better yet…

Education Finance Reform: Tip the Teachers

We are going about reforming the education system in entirely the wrong manner. Our focus on teacher accountability through standardized testing has clearly failed. The tenure system protects good teachers and bad. There must be a better way. All we need do is look to other forms of compensation for public servants to give us the clear solution to the problem.

What if teachers were paid a minimum wage and received most of their compensation through voluntary contributions from individuals and families? This would motivate teachers to be more responsive to specific students and their parents. In this manner, we could reduce property taxes so they only pay for the buildings themselves with a very modest base wage for the teachers.

Consider the benefits: Instead of teachers doing what was good for themselves, they would focus on keeping the contributing students and their parents engaged and happy. Families would voluntarily thank the teacher through monetary gifts. Poor teachers would not stay in the profession because they would not be able to make enough money.

Of course teachers are ethical people and all students would be treated equally. Some students would simply be more equal if their parents pay more. That should not be an issue in a free market system like America. If your child needs more attention in class, pay more. If your child wants to be a starter on the team or the star of the show, pay more. If your child wants better grades, less homework, a little help on the ACT, or a chance to go to the bathroom, it is only appropriate that you help the teacher since the teacher is helping your child.

A wonderful side effect would be that teachers would have to compete for parental dollars. Rather than the same dull curriculum in all classes, teachers would be forced to innovate and be creative! They would find new and interesting ways to get their students (and their parents) attention. Think of the motivation that money would provide! Instead of lectures and tests, we could have field trips, movies, and other fun educational experiences. If parents have resources that could help, I’ll bet they’d be quick to assist! Perhaps parents who own fast food franchises, publishing houses, educational services, and media sources would contribute to teachers so that teachers would use their products and services. What a fresh and new educational landscape would be born!

Think of how the dynamic among the faculty would change, too. Instead of just any teacher assuming leadership, the teachers who get the most contributions from family would have the resources to affect the building and district at large. Clearly, these will be the teachers who have most pleased parents and members of the community. These teachers’ success could breed a new and more fiscally responsive approach to learning.

If this model succeeds in education, perhaps we could use it in other areas. Tipping police and firefighters would motivate them to take better care of our communities. Tipping our public works departments would mean that the streets that really need plowing or repairing would get attention, as long as the residents make sure that those who are doing the repairing are well repaired!

This system has proven such a success with our elected officials that we should make voluntary contributions our primary way to fund everything! The success of Congress stands as shining lighthouse to the nation. It is time for us to set our country’s course directly to that beacon!