Where is our Decency?

I don’t understand what has happened. I am filled with questions. Where is our decency?

Is it not a virtue to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and shelter the homeless? Is that not what religions of all kinds tell us?

I don’t understand. Where is our decency?

Is it not our obligation to stand between the oppressor and the oppressed? To reach out to those in search of freedom and liberty? Is that not what Emma Lazarus wrote on the Statue of Liberty?

When did the bully, the violator, the abuser, the liar become our hero? Why would anyone side with such people? Our most sacred texts tell us to fight for justice, oppose evil, and do the right thing.  

Where is our decency?

Healing the sick is the most basic of good causes. Do the ill deserve care? Should one’s physical wellbeing be determined by income and corporate profit? Does not every sick child, mother, father, neighbor deserve healing?

Love thy neighbor as thyself is a clear commandment. It is a value that all traditions share. Hate thy neighbor, fear thy neighbor, or hurt thy neighbor is antithetical to our noblest and most cherished values.

Opening our homes to those who have had to leave theirs was once seen as an act of godliness. Whatever you have done, one sacred text reads, for your brothers, you have done for god. The reverse is also true, according to that good book. Who closes the door on the needy and wretched?  Is it righteous to turn your back on the downtrodden and desperate?

I don’t understand.

Is fear a value? Is anger a virtue? Do we let those parts of ourselves direct our course? What happens to us, as individuals, families, and communities, when these become our driving motivations?

Who have we become if the sins of greed, lust, pride, and wrath are applauded, lauded, and admired? When did those become the goals to which we aspire? Who are we if those are our most powerful traits? Where is our humility? Where is our generosity? Where are our gratitude and goodwill?

Good people can do bad things. All it takes for the “isms” to win is for otherwise good people to rationalize them away. Racism is okay if it brings jobs. Sexism is okay if we don’t like the specific person. Are our standards that thin? Are we people who are willing to betray our values for petty gain? Why place the Ten Commandments in public places if you don’t live them in your life?

How we comport ourselves in times of crisis and challenge defines us. If we only hold our most sacred morals when times are good and things are easy, what does that say about us? 

Is this what we want for our children? Do we want them to live that way? What example do we set? How do we want them to see us?

I hear the words that Joseph Welch said to Senator Joe McCarthy, “ Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”

I am not sure I want to hear the answer.

The Thanksgiving Nest

At the end of a visit, my grandmother would often ask, “When will I see you again?”  or  “You’re leaving already?” I remember finding this irritating. I am visiting now! Why are you asking me this? How needy!

A little more than a week after Thanksgiving, I share her feelings. Having both of my children home, even if they were out with friends or doing homework, was wonderful. The fact that we will be back together in three weeks consoles me only a little.

I should be thankful. I got nearly a week with my entire family under one roof. It was joyful to be with them. I am grateful, but I am very eager to bring the entire family together again. Thanksgiving break wasn’t enough. It was a tease and a taste of times that are gone.

Yes, college students return home. But my elder is about to get her graduate degree and, hopefully, a job in a city far away. My younger has big summer plans. I am telling myself that I better learn to enjoy this new diet of family time because it is all I will get. But I haven’t accepted the reality of the situation yet.

I have come to terms with the term “empty nest.” My wife and I live here, so the nest isn’t entirely empty. Both of my children still call this their “permanent address,” but I think that will only be for a few more months. Neither has cleaned out his or her room or registered to vote or drive in another state – yet.

It has only been 105 days since our younger child went to college, but whose counting? It will only be another three weeks until he comes home for winter break. So what’s the big deal?

I miss my children. That is the deal. My friends tell me that I will adjust and come to love living in a quieter and childless home. I believe them. They love it. They may be right that I will love it, too. Someday. Not today.

Today, I miss my children. I hide my tears as the bus pulls out to take the younger back to college. I sniffle and pull myself together on the early morning ride from the airport dropping off the elder. While the kids have adjusted marvelously well, I am still in transition. Maybe I am becoming my grandmother.  

I haven’t become accustomed to an empty nest or the idea of long distance parenting. I get home and expect to see one of my children studying or watching television. When I return from services on a Friday night, I should be relieved that I can go to sleep and not wait up for someone to get home. I’m not. I wait up anyhow.

Thanksgiving Break is joyous. I will do anything to be with the kids. I went shopping on Black Friday. I went to a women’s clothing store and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It doesn’t matter. Happily, the Thanksgiving meal is just half a day and I only have to share them a little. I find that I am jealous of my son’s high school friends who have been getting as much or more time with him as the rest of us. In addition to struggling with letting go, have I mentioned that I am not good at sharing my children either?

Not that I am complaining.

Thanksgiving break is a tease. Yet, it is a tease I was eagerly anticipating. It is not as long as winter break, but, after several months, I was thrilled that my home was full again. I could talk to my children without the assistance of technology, although not without the distraction of technology.

We are all growing up. I am just doing it a little more reluctantly.

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Learning Is Not Possible Without Mistakes: Being Wrong

No one likes to be wrong. Mistakes are not our goal. However, without mistakes, without being wrong, we don’t grow. Learning is a messy business and mistakes are a critical part of the process.

I was introduced to this video though a magnificent blog post by a teacher from Colorado. She uses this video after the election as a way to open students to the process of disagreeing, listening, and being open to change.

Take a look:

Fox Renews Surprise Hit Trumpfoolery for Second Season

Fox Network announced early on Wednesday that they are renewing the surprisingly popular sitcom Trumpfoolery for a second season.

The show features a hapless billionaire and reality TV star who accidently wanders onto the set of a presidential debate and suddenly finds himself a primary candidate and hilarity ensues.

Throughout the first season, candidate Donald's misadventures included mistaking a KKK leader for a respected public figure, getting in an online argument with a beauty queen, being accused of sexual misconduct, problems with taxes, and insulting just about every person he met. The season ended with our hero having second thoughts and trying to sabotage his own campaign only to find that he appealed to the voting public even more than his highly qualified opponent. In a shocking and side-splitting finale, our poor rich blunderer is swept into office!

The second season will feature such antics as getting lost in Washington DC, a son bringing home a new girlfriend who turns out to be a Russian agent, nominating an old friend for the Supreme Court who turns out to be very different than expected, taking away millions of people’s healthcare, and nearly starting a nuclear war! We’ll get a visit from a wacky gay cousin and meet a secret neighbor we see only over the top of a wall. The season will build to an outrageous and uproarious finale as Donald fires everyone and tries to navigate the presidency on his own! The producers of the show say the second season will even be produced without a laugh track.

Rumor has it that Fox is trying to contract for seasons three and four but there are some legal obstacles in the way.

Two Voting Visions from Rabbi Wine

Today, I took my Kol Hadash Confirmation Class to the Unitarian church as part of our study of comparative religion. The service focused on voting our values. The similarities and connections between their principles and those of Humanistic Judaism became highly apparent when a reading was a quotation from one of the founders of Humanistic Judaism, Rabbi Sherwin Wine.

The selection from Rabbi Wine, although spoken at an Independence Day celebration in 1985, is as relevant and powerful before the election of 2016 as it was in the early years of the Regan presidency:

“There are two visions of America. One precedes our founding fathers and finds its roots in the harshness of our puritan past. It is very suspicious of freedom, uncomfortable with diversity, hostile to science, unfriendly to reason, contemptuous of personal autonomy. It sees America as a religious nation. It views patriotism as allegiance to God. It secretly adores coercion and conformity. Despite our constitution, despite the legacy of the Enlightenment, it appeals to millions of Americans and threatens our freedom.

The other vision finds its roots in the spirit of our founding revolution and in the leaders of this nation who embraced the age of reason. It loves freedom, encourages diversity, embraces science and affirms the dignity and rights of every individual. It sees America as a moral nation, neither completely religious nor completely secular. It defines patriotism as love of country and of the people who make it strong. It defends all citizens against unjust coercion and irrational conformity.

This second vision is our vision. It is the vision of a free society. We must be bold enough to proclaim it and strong enough to defend it against all its enemies.”

As vote on Tuesday, and consider our choices on the ballot, it is imperative that we keep the two visions that Rabbi Wine described in mind. Are we truly voting our values and vision? Are we voting out of fear? Are we voting for hope or hate? Are we voting for the reason, freedom, diversity, science, and dignity?