Fear of Saying (or Writing) the Wrong Thing

The wrong thing. There, I wrote the wrong thing. 

White family and friends, is it possible to get past the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing during this struggle for racial justice? Can we move forward and take action rather than perseverating on eggshells? 

Robin DiAngelo called White Fragility the idea that any mention of racism will cause White people, even White people who call themselves anti-racist, to become defensive, self-focused, angry, and/or deny feedback from people of color. If you haven’t heard Dr. DeAngelo speak about this concept, please watch one of her many video interviews. 

We say to ourselves, “If I am not going to be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, then why do so many people challenge me when I do something that is anti-racist and helps the cause? It feels like even when I try to do the right thing, I am wrong!” 

The truth is that we will get it wrong sometimes. While our intentions may be good, we may not yet have the skills, knowledge, or context to do what really needs to be done. We must take feedback, learn how to do better, and then try again. 

White people sometimes deflect feedback from others instead of addressing the substance of the feedback. This is a “I know what you are saying is correct, but couldn’t you say it in a nicer way?” Thus white people don’t have to address their attitudes and choices because the feedback wasn’t presented in a pretty enough box. Nope! 

“But I meant well! Don’t I get credit for that? My intentions were good. I am still learning!” Welcome to the road to hell. Intentions are intangible, but impact is real. The focus on intentions is also a deflection. The effect of our choices is the real measure of their power. No one intends to make an error. The intention is minor, the result matters. We must own those effects, regardless of our intentions. 

As we learn how to be strong, thoughtful, and reflective anti-racist proponents, we will fall down – a lot. Rather than rationalizing our mistakes and dancing around the embarrassing moments when our ignorance or racism slips out, we must take another approach. 

DiAngelo talks about asking people of color, “What would it be like if you could just give white people feedback when we showed our inevitable and often unaware racist assumptions and patterns and had us receive that feedback with grace, reflect, and seek to change our behavior? What would that be like? And I’ll never forget this man of color raising his hand and saying, ‘It would be revolutionary.’” 

Think about the power of this concept: instead of the tap dance of deflect, defend, and deny, we instead say, “Thank you, you’re right. I am going to think about this and do better next time.” Of course, saying this means nothing without real action. 

Think about the power of this kind of dialogue: focusing on the core issue, taking our ego offline, accepting and acknowledging someone else’s point of view, giving their words serious thought, and then altering our choices.  

DiAngelo is right: it might be a revolution! 

No Limits, No Consequences, No Way!

Remember that kid who seemed to have everything, that kid whose parents never said, “no”? Maybe you met on the playground, in class, at camp, or in the neighborhood. Were you jealous of that child? Did you think that child was spoiled? Some of these kids were aware of their wealth, while others seemed oblivious.

Did you also encounter the kid who behaved as if the rules were only for other people? This child acted as if nothing was out of bounds. Some of these kids really didn’t get the idea of consequences, but some didn’t care. Some of them were right! Their parents never said, “no.” Did you have a classmate, work colleague, or neighbor who was able to break the rules and always get away with it?

Sometimes, these kids without limits ruled recess. They gathered a group who would join them on their exploits and pick up their leavings. These followers were wannabes, flatterers, and fans worshiping someone who lived the life they wanted.

What would it be like to have limitless resources? No price would be too high. Nothing would be forbidden. What would it be like to be able to do whatever you wanted, regardless of any rules or results?

If everything is available and disposable, does anything have value? If I am never held accountable for my choices, do I believe the ideas of right or wrong apply to me? These kids certainly understood that the way the world treated them was not true for everyone. That made them special – and they knew it and exploited it.

At a reunion or in the grocery store or sometime later in life, have you run into those special kids? How did they grow up? What kind of adults did they become? Did they embrace limits? Did they become law-abiding good citizens? Or did something else happen?

Although I swam in wealthy waters as a child, my eyes were really opened to this phenomenon in college. It was the first time I met people whose resources were unlimited – and knew it. Although I knew more than a few rebels without a clue in high school, college was also the first time I heard someone refer to laws as “guidelines for idiots.”

What happens when nothing has value because everything can be replaced? What happens to our sense of responsibility when we know we are above the law and no one will dare to call us out? What do we become?

As a teacher, I saw the results of parents who provided limitlessly. I dealt with students whose parents worked very hard to prevent their children from ever feeling the negative results of their choices. Many times, these students had long-term negative ramifications. I was not going to imitate those parents and I didn’t want my children to be like theirs.

Who are those people? I remember exploring the idea of the golden rule with a group of students. One student complained that when he treated another student harshly, it would NOT have bothered him. The other student was just a sensitive wimp. He was treating someone the way he wouldn’t mind being treated. In other words, he projected his values onto the other person: if it isn’t wrong for me to do it, then someone else shouldn’t perceive it as wrong. He couldn’t see it from the other person’s perspective. It wasn’t his problem; it was the other kid’s issue. He, of course, was beyond reproach.

It was this experience that led me to develop what I called the platinum rule: treat others BETTER than you would like to be treated. I don’t know if this would have had an impact on that particular student, but I hope it might have opened up a new way of thinking.

We might wish for limitlessness and far-reaching power, but our inner voice quickly whispers “Monkey’s Paw” warnings. Yet, if the genie always gives you unlimited wishes, why would you wish for world peace? You have never seen a world of strife or need. Would you instead keep wishing to be the biggest, baddest, best, and most powerful person that walked on the planet? More, more, more! Would you care about (or even be aware of) the suffering and unfortunate or would you focus on retribution against anyone who ever dared to burst your bubble?

If I can get whatever I want, very little has value – including relationships and people. If I can do whatever I want, then any obstacle, rule, or restriction is a personal offense. It is a slap in the face from a disrespectful and offensive person and cannot be endured. Yet, if I can purchase anything and get away with everything, then what do I strive for?

Power. You might seek to fill an increasingly deep cavern of desire for satisfaction, novelty, and control. You can have anything anyone else can have and will never be limited by the restrictions that hold back mere mortals. You want what the average folks could never have. You buy politicians, public office, celebrity, and notoriety.

Most of us don’t live in that world. Our limits are all too real. If we really had no limits or consequences, we hope we’d would not become the spoiled and self-centered brat. We might be right. But if you have any real integrity at all, your little inner voice might express doubt and concern. That’s a good thing! That says you have a functioning conscience and some degree of empathy.

Let’s make sure that those who lack that inner voice, who have been disfigured by wealth and power, who see no limits and feel no consequences are never in positions where the rest of us are their pawns and playthings. They will not treat us well.

Precious Parking

The high school should really allow all students to drive to school. There is no reason just to limit it to seniors. If there is a space shortage, we should raise money and build a parking structure, just like they have at the colleges. 

There is no way my Precious would take the bus. The bus arrives far too early in the morning and Precious needs to sleep late. Otherwise, we get cranky and foul-mouthed and that doesn’t fly in my house! Walking or biking are just not practical. Besides, Precious has to take sports equipment and a computer and the hot/cold tray that Cook prepares for lunch each day. The bus makes so many stops and is not air-conditioned (or I think it isn’t, I’m not sure) and my Precious can’t take that kind of environment. 

Besides, there is only one bus after sports practice and it goes just about everywhere. It would take Precious a half hour or more to get home on it. That isn’t practical. Precious has tutoring in all the major subjects twice a week, private sports coaching, ACT and SAT tutoring, and frequent meetings with our college helper. I love that college helper. She is making sure that Precious is on top of all those deadlines. Precious doesn’t have to do anything! This college stuff is so stressful. Why can’t we just let Precious into my alma mater and be done with it? Precious will be going there anyway, why do we have to hop through all these meaningless hoops? 

So, I have a friend of a friend who has a little home a few blocks from the school. They charge pay $500 per semester for Precious to park at their house. We were going to let Precious take the Escalade that we usually keep at the lake house, but it’s two years old, so we got a Porche to replace it and Precious will drive that. We’ll just have to use my Land Rover when we are up north. It is a sacrifice we are just going to have to make. 

I wish my friend’s friend’s home was a little closer to the school. As it is, Precious has to walk three blocks. I park there when I stop by and take Precious’s Land Rover to the gas station and fill it up. Precious doesn’t have time for that. I can’t believe how long it takes me and that car always needs so much gas! 

I don’t know what we would do if Precious wasn’t able to drive to school. I can’t get up that early. It is an ungodly time, anyway. None of our people have arrived yet, well Cook has, but that is to make Precious’s breakfast and lunch. Cook can’t be expected to be a driver, too. 

I am concerned that, once Precious can drive to school, the staff will take all the good parking places. I don’t want Precious parking so far away from the building that it is the same distance as the friend’s friend’s house! That would be so unfair! I think kids who park in the nearby neighborhoods should have special spots right near the door when they become seniors. After all, they have been waiting to drive to school their entire lives! 

Reading for Treasure: What is "Woke?"

Recently, someone asked me if the teachers in my school were woke. I asked him what he meant by “woke.” He struggled to give me any form of answer. Does it just mean liberal? Does it mean Black? Does it mean whatever those in Florida want it to mean? What do they want it to mean? Do they know? 

Those who are banning books, worrying about drag shows, and storming school board meetings know what they are doing. It doesn’t matter what woke means. They have turned it into a weapon against those who coined it. It is an attempt to make schools and society white-centric – again. After accusing liberals of being snowflakes, the battle against woke is an attempt to protect the feelings and power of those who benefit from the status quo and don’t wish to be reminded of it. 

If eliminating any signs of “wokeness” might make some comfortable, it will make others uncomfortable and unsafe. There are some who stand to benefit if “woke” ideas are suppressed and we all go to sleep. But those who have been bullied, beaten, and brutalized also deserve to have their voices heard. Their history is our history, it is American history. We must face it because it is painful and difficult. 

The issues of our past do not go away because we wish they never happened. If we ignore health issues, things don’t get better because we pretend we are well when we know there is cause for concern. We must have the courage and fortitude to confront the issues that the anti-woke people are trying to silence. We can’t move forward until we deal with our past and present. 

With that in mind, here are some other voices that helped shape my view and may give more context to this issue:  

Clarence Page’s editorial in the Chicago Tribune, “What is ‘woke’? More than a joke.” 

NewsOne’s article, “Fox News Host Whitesplains Why Conservatives Can’t Define ‘Woke,’ Says It’s Just A ‘Feeling.’” 

Two articles from The Atlantic: “Woke Is Just Another Word for Liberal” and  “Wokeness Has Replaced Socialism as the Great Conservative Bogeyman.”

Michael Harriott, writing in The Grio, looks at how the word “woke” and other terms have been twisted into new definitions and speculates on what other words might suffer the same fate, “After white people redefined ‘woke’ and ‘critical race theory,’ these 6 words or phrases might be next.” 

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction.

I am currently reading The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal

Nineteen Eighty Florida

“To the future or to the past, to a time when thought is free, when men are different from one another and do not live alone—to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone: From the age of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink—greetings!”

Although written by Orwell’s 1984 protagonist, Winston Smith, this message might be a missive from the sunshine state, which is increasingly making certain that the sun only shines on what is state approved and those who get up in the morning must go right back to sleep. Big Brother is alive and well in Florida. 

The state government of Florida –and the states emulating it - are taking their cue from Orwell’s classic dystopian novel. They are rewriting history, stifling free expression, and creating hated scapegoats. All of this to strengthen and sustain the power of, using Orwell’s label, the Party. 

The forces that are squelching any communication about topics that hurt the Party’s feelings are akin to the Ministry of Truth in Orwell’s novel. In 1984 there are four ministries: the Ministry of Peace, which makes war, the Ministry of Love, which is the secret police, the Ministry of Plenty which rations resources, and the Ministry of Truth, which among other things, rewrites the past so it justifies and supports the party’s political and social goals. 

“Past events, it is argued, have no objective existence, but survive only in written records and in human memories. The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. And since the Party is in full control of all records and in equally full control of the minds of its members, it follows that the past is whatever the Party chooses to make it. It also follows that though the past is alterable, it never has been altered in any specific instance. For when it has been recreated in whatever shape is needed at the moment, then this new version is the past, and no different past can ever have existed. This holds good even when, as often happens, the same event has to be altered out of recognition several times in the course of a year.”

Like in 1984, Floridians have been given a menu of people to hate: Black people, Trans people, gay people, drag queens, immigrants, and anyone who disagrees with the Party’s views. All evils are attributed to those who are “woke,” although they struggle to define what that means. The world of 1984 has the Two Minutes Hate every day. Like Florida, all evils were attributed to the traitor Goldstein and his organization, the Brotherhood.  

“The programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day, but there was none in which Goldstein was not the principal figure. He was the primal traitor, the earliest defiler of the Party’s purity. All subsequent crimes against the Party, all treacheries, acts of sabotage, heresies, deviations, sprang directly out of his teaching.”

Hate, fear, and the manipulation of history are critical to sustaining the Party in the novel. But why would Americans, who value our freedoms, abandon them? How can they believe “alternative facts”, political spin, and propaganda that are obviously designed to manipulate them? They just need to defeat their own memories and morality. 

“The Party said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia. He, Winston Smith, knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four years ago. But where did that knowledge exist? Only in his own consciousness, which in any case must soon be annihilated. And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed— if all records told the same tale—then the lie passed into history and became truth. ‘Who controls the past,’ ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.’ And yet the past, though of its nature alterable, never had been altered. Whatever was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting. It was quite simple. All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory. ‘Reality control’, they called it: in Newspeak, ‘doublethink’.”

Republicans who vote for abortion bans (but make sure that their pregnant people get them), condemn drag shows (and then turn up in drag), and insist that banning guns will not protect anyone (and then ban guns from their gatherings) are hypocrites. But even more, they and their followers are also experts at “reality control.” They have mastered “doublethink.” 

“Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them…To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies—all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word one admits that one is tampering with reality; by a fresh act of doublethink one erases this knowledge; and so on indefinitely, with the lie always one leap ahead of the truth. Ultimately it is by means of doublethink that the Party has been able—and may, for all we know, continue to be able for thousands of years—to arrest the course of history.”

Fox News's editing of the events of January 6th is a public expression of doublethink. It is a revision of the facts into a form that fits Florida and its followers. To admit that racism is built into the fabric of our country and history, to accept responsibility and deal with the real issues and challenges facing us, to protect children in their schools, people praying in church, moviegoers in the theater, and shoppers in the mall from gun violence is not important. Battling drag queens, sexy candy, and elementary school teachers is far more critical than any other social ill. 

There is more, of course. The society of 1984 is divided by class, insiders and outsiders, party and proles. Further into the book, the similarities to Florida intensify. Orwell took the Soviet Union as his model for this novel, just as many Republicans are big fans of Russia’s Putin. 

Spoiler: Orwell’s 1984 doesn’t end well for Winston and those who rebel against the party. The power of the party broaches no compromise and has no compassion. It is a state run by fear, hate, lies, and violence. To quote Winston (and Orwell), “Down with Big Brother.” 

Reading For Treasure: My Articles!

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

In the past few weeks, I have had an essay published and been featured in an article in two Jewish publications. So, this month, here are these two articles, both dealing with religion. 

When Humanistic Judaism Magazine decided to focus its winter issue on Judaism and science fiction, several people reached out and asked me if I’d like to contribute. It is true that my first experiences with science fiction were at my congregation’s religious school on Sundays. My love of science fiction and my philosophy as a Secular Humanistic Jew are two of the most important elements of my identity. So of course, I wrote a piece similar to my blog posts. This link is to the preview version of the magazine. My essay, “Sunday School Made Me a Science Fiction Fan,” is on page 12. 

Tablet Magazine is a Jewish publication that covers a wide range of topics from news and religion to culture, history, and sports. They have been exploring the diversity of the Jewish community through a series of discussions called “The Minyan,” which they describe as, “Roundtables on the state of the American Jewish community, bringing together people from a shared demographic or background—everyday people with personal opinions, not experts who earn their salaries discussing these issues.” A reporter reached out to me to participate in an online gathering of Jews who did not believe in God in the traditional sense of the concept. The reporter gathered a group virtually and we had a fascinating and thoughtful conversation that was published in this article. In addition to the article, a podcast version of this conversation will be released sometime soon.

Currently, I am reading Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution by R.F. Kuang

When You Say You Are Voting Based on the Economy, What You Are Really Saying Is…

Saying you are voting on Tuesday based on your concerns about the economy is really really a way to avoid saying you are voting for other issues that you might not want to admit because voting for Republicans is not going to improve the economy. 

How could you vote for people who condone political violence? The attack on Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband was an attempted political assassination. Countless Republicans have made light of it, spread absurd conspiracy theories, and even openly celebrated it. This is more than a lack of empathy, it is an acknowledgment that they approve of political violence. Since January 6th, that should not be a surprise. 

Aren’t they supposed to be the anti-crime party? They have done nothing to ensure the safety of kids in classrooms? They have prevented legislation that would stop dangerous people from getting guns and defended people who used them to kill. They protect people who kill as long as they didn’t like those who were murdered. Violence is never good for the economy. 

The real reasons for our economic issues are more complex than our current political leaders. One major driver is the continuing effect of the COVID pandemic. Did the Republicans handle COVID well while they were in office? How much of our current situation is due to their choices while in power? 

Another major economic issue is the current war in Ukraine. The war’s effects on energy and food prices are being felt all over the world – but most powerful in Ukraine itself. Republicans have made it quite clear that they think we are doing too much for Ukraine and want to reduce our support. We know that some Republicans have a crush on Putin. Would further war and bloodshed in Ukraine make everyone safer and more prosperous? 

How could people vote for candidates who are unqualified for the positions for which they are running? Candidates who can’t answer questions, recently moved into the areas they are running to represent, and have problematic and disturbing pasts will not make strong leaders. Please judge a party by the company it keeps. If these weak candidates are elected, will they have the skill to move the economy forward – or move anything forward? 

What about the hate speech, racism, Anti-Semitism, phobias of all kinds, white nationalism, and religious extremism? When asked to wear a mask to protect their neighbors, they cried, “my body, my choice,” and now they will not extend that “right” to women. A race-based theocracy will not create more jobs or reduce costs, although it might make the trains run on time. 

And will these candidates concede if they lose? What about their allies who are now running some of these elections? Many still cling to the lie that the last election was not legitimate, even though the same ballots they contest for one office, they accept for others! This kind of election denial could create dangerous chaos! 

Of course, voting based on personal (selfish) economic interests is an American tradition: “It’s the economy, stupid.” Nope, let’s rephrase that, in 2022, it is stupid to believe that people are really doing that. They are condoning and supporting a party that continues to threaten our economy, democracy, and way of life.  However you read the economic tea leaves, it is clear that those who say that the economy is their main issue are really supporting a dangerous agenda: it will worsen the economy –and it will diminish and degrade America.   

Reading for Treasure: Consider These Articles and VOTE!

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

Your vote is critically important. The polls are probably wrong. Here are some articles to think about as we move toward the November elections. I present them without introduction or commentary: 

Mother Jones (Video): “If Republicans Retake Congress in November, Here's What Their Agenda Will Look Like” 

NewsOne: “2022 Midterm Elections: Filibuster, Senate Control And The Importance Of Black Voters” 

Reuters: “Pro-Trump conspiracy theorists hound election officials out of office”

Financial Times: “Ukrainian officials ‘shocked’ as Republicans threaten tougher line on aid” 

The Guardian: “Republicans aim to pass national ‘don’t say gay’ law”

The Bulwark: “Attack Ads Are Darkening the Skin Tone of Black Candidates”

Atlantic:  “We need to take away children” 

New York Times: “Voters See Democracy at Risk, but Saving It Isn’t Priority” 

Wired: “The US Needs to Recognize Intimate Privacy as a Civil Right” 

The Washington Post: “Trump charged Secret Service ‘exorbitant’ rates at his hotels, records show”

CNN: “What could happen if an election denier is running elections” 

NBC: “Johnson's campaign is paying the law firm of a Trump attorney allegedly connected to Jan. 6 fake elector plot”

NPR: “Borrowers who were cut out of student loan relief describe 'a gut punch'”

CNN: “'I'm my own man': Colorado Republican Senate nominee fires back at Trump” 

Scientific American: “U.S. Lost 26 Years Worth of Progress on Life Expectancy” 

I am currently reading Gods, Monsters, and the Lucky Peach by Kelly Robson

The Kind of Person You Are!

You are a good person. You are a person of integrity and strong beliefs. You are a person who is thoughtful and emotionally aware. Sometimes, you get angry. Sometimes, you are disappointed and feel like this country is heading down the wrong path. 

You are not racist, sexist, or any of those things. You work hard to be fair and keep an open mind. You admit that you sometimes judge people, but that is a normal human response. What counts is how you judge - not based on skin color or wealth or religion or any of those things, but on how people function as human beings. 

While you are subject to the whims and impulses that flesh is heir to, you consider yourself logical. You may not be Mr. Spock, but you are reasonable and rational. You consider a situation carefully and look closely at the details, facts, and history before rendering an opinion. 

You are not afraid to admit when you are wrong or to change your point of view when you learn new things. Like many of us, you dislike changing your opinion, but you see it as a sign of growth. 

You see disagreement as a way to discover more about other people and enhance your understanding of them and the world. Such conversations are opportunities to deepen both the relationships and your own perceptions. 

Fairness and consistency are critical. While there are rules that are wrong, for the most part, rules should be obeyed and those who do not obey them should face consequences. Although there are people who feel like they are so special that they should have the right to walk over everyone and do whatever they want, rules should apply to everyone the same way. You have worked hard to be an evenhanded person when dispensing this kind of justice and, although sometimes begrudgingly, accepted it when it was your turn to receive it. 

The only way any of us moves forward is to help one another. You believe in charity, giving, and being your brothers’ and sisters’ helper. People have reached out to you when you needed it and you do your best to pay that forward. 

You stand by your promises. You do what you say you are going to do. You have little respect for those who talk a lot and do very little. You believe that there are obligations that we must fulfill, whether it is to our family, community, nation, or the world at large. Sometimes, you have had to remind people that everything is not just about them! 

Your sense of yourself is not bound up in any one particular thing. You have strong philosophical beliefs, but you are more than that. Your family connections are very important, but that is not all there is to you. You are complex. 

You do not respect people who take advantage of the weak, old, or vulnerable. You will not be scared into decisions or let fear drive your choices. You do not like cheaters, spoiled sports, or bullies. Those who work hard should reap the fruits of their labor while the lazy, entitled, and selfish should not be allowed to profit from others’ efforts. 

You work hard to be honest with yourself. Sometimes, you excuse bad behavior of those you like or are critical of good acts of those you find objectionable, but even as you do this, you realize it is not consistent with how you see yourself. You would not want to be judged that way. 

You are practical. You rarely engage in flights of fancy, except perhaps as a mental exercise or an occasional lark. You believe that the simplest and most straightforward explanations are usually correct and when people have to twist themselves into pretzels to justify or explain something, you are suspicious. 

Sometimes you have trouble trusting people. You want to believe that people are naturally good, but that doesn’t fit with all you have experienced. You agree that most people want to be good, but don’t always make good choices for a variety of reasons. You can forgive some of them, sometimes. Forgiving is one thing, but it doesn’t mean that you allow yourself to be duped or conned. 

When you were younger, you would sometimes say and do things to get the approval of your friends or authorities, even when you did not agree with them. You recognize that this is also a normal and human thing to do, but as an adult, you do not conform with the majority when it is not authentic. You are willing to champion an unpopular view when you believe in it and you resist yielding to social pressure.

You would make a good judge. You weigh facts before making decisions. You are slow to anger. You try to see things from the other person’s point of view. The world is not just good and bad, near and far, rich and poor, but is far more complicated. 

When your heroes and leaders reveal their feet of clay, you are disappointed, but not surprised.  You feel uplifted when they make things better, and like a disheartened parent, are saddened when they behave badly. But they, like all of us, should face the consequences of our choices. You strongly believe that no one is above that. No one has the right to get away with misdeeds. No one, you insist, is above the law. That would be unfair and would cause or society to collapse. 

Of course, there are people who think the rules do not apply to them. You have encountered these people too frequently. You pity them as much as dislike them. While it isn’t usually your job to remind them that they are human, too, you have taken perhaps too much pleasure in knocking some of them down a peg or two. 

You vote. You pay your taxes. You obey the laws. You go to the courthouse when you are called for jury duty. You are a good citizen. You believe that we all should support our communities. 

You are charitable. You give to the poor, sick, and those who have had bad luck. You hope you will never be on the other side of that, but you hope that, if you were ever in need, people would help you. 

You could never support a candidate for office who you knew to be cheating, lying, or hurting people. That would not be consistent with who you are. You would never give your backing to someone who was selfish, spoiled, or hateful.  You would not turn your back to all you are and all you hold dear to follow a seductive smooth-talking charlatan! You are not a sucker or a hypocrite! You wouldn’t be able to face yourself in the mirror if you did. 

Impossible Doublethink Before Breakfast

In Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, the Red Queen believed at least six impossible things before breakfast. George Orwell’s 1984 gave us the concept of doublethink: being able to believe two completely contradictory ideas, acknowledge that they are incompatible with each other, yet fully endorse both of them. Doublethink was the critical component in maintaining 1984’s totalitarian state. Although there are more literary examples, recent events move these concepts from fiction to frightening reality. 

I don’t understand how someone can fervently support the police, believe that “blue lives matter” and yet want unlimited and open access to guns. Likewise, if one wants to be “tough on crime,” how does one accomplish this if guns are more accessible than cigarettes or allergy medication? And the police in Uvalde? 

How can one condemn violence after Black people are killed by police, but then condone violence against our own elected lawmakers who are certifying an election? How can people threaten and intimidate local election officials when they disagree with the results of an election? If violence is bad, shouldn’t it be bad no matter who commits it? 

How can someone claim that the 2020 election was riddled with fraud when it comes to the election of the president, but make no objections to all the Republican candidates who won on the very same “rigged” ballots? If there were issues with one race on the ballot, wouldn’t there be problems with the other races, too? And where is the evidence of all these irregularities? If there were so many, wouldn’t some have led to criminal charges, successful lawsuits, or altered election results? The only verified instances of election fraud I could find were people voting for the former president! 

Some people say they want to honor the past and thus preserve confederate statues, monuments, or symbols, but when discussing historical aspects of the civil war that deal with enslaved people and systemic racism, their discomfort trumps honoring and remembering other shameful aspects of the past. Could this perhaps maybe possibly be about race? 

Many of these same people are eager to protect the unborn, but do not give any protection to already-born children sitting in schools. Some of these folks also refused to protect anyone by wearing a mask or getting the COVID vaccine. Is life only worth protecting when it is not yet here? Do children have to protect themselves – from guns and illness? Is it only embryos who deserve protection? Why? 

If people don’t want teachers discussing the racism of our past and present, the diversity of gender identities, or any subject that might make some (white) kids (and/or their parents) uncomfortable, who decides what is or isn’t included? Wouldn’t the exclusion of this content make other students uncomfortable? Wouldn’t its inclusion eventually create understanding and thus bring more comfort? How are people evaluating this harm? How is repressing some people’s ideas and history not just another form of bullying and bigotry? 

Some of these folks claim to be religious people acting on precepts from scripture. However, they worship people who are adulterers and bullies whose behavior is the opposite of the religious figures they claim to revere. They take minor biblical passages out of context and hold them as more important than the Ten Commandments and key statements from Jesus, Moses, and other key figures. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor as thyself” and “thou shalt not murder?” 

The slogans of the state in 1984 were: “War is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength. Today, many people are holding a complementary set of commandments: 

Morality is Indecency

Honesty is Deception

Bigotry is Equality

Freedom is Selfishness

Cruelty is Compassion

Rage is Virtue

Hypocrisy is Integrity

I don’t see how we can move beyond our current political impasse without civil discourse, common ground, a shared sense of right and wrong, and a moral commitment to improving the conditions for everyone (not just a few).  Instead, so many are practicing deadly doublethink before, during, and after breakfast – and it is not only unhealthy for them, as Orwell predicted, it is poisoning all of us. 

Where are the Guardian Angels?

The shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas is overwhelming. Each time I think about the horrible events of May 24, I find it is so painful that I need to deflect to something else, anything else. The thought of that kind of loss is nearly too difficult to imagine.  

I was teaching the day that Laurie Dann walked into Hubbard Woods Elementary School in Winnetka and began shooting. My school moved to “red alert,” which was designed to prevent senior pranks, when it was reported that the shooter was headed northwest. My school is only a few miles northwest of Hubbard Woods. This was more than thirty years ago. 

There are no words to console a grieving parent or partner. There is no pain I can imagine worse than the death of a child. It is so hideous and powerful and painful. Why must parents keep experiencing loss because of school shootings? 

What is wrong with us that we refuse to protect our children sitting in their classrooms? What is wrong with us that we argue about the rights of children not yet born, but we refuse to protect fourth graders? How can people rush to protect gun rights at the cost of children’s lives?  Anyone who has worked in education knows that putting more guns in school will not address this problem. It is a false fantasy solution that ignores everything we know about these situations. 

Even the National Rifle Association prohibits guns at its convention! Arming teachers will work, but having a convention full of gun owners won’t? I don’t understand. 

Let’s start a new organization: No Retro Abortions. This organization would advocate that we ban abortions beyond the 15-week or 3-month or the latest of late-term timelines and argue that even abortions that take place after birth should be forbidden. The organization could be called by its initials: N.R.A. 

Recently, I read a short story called, “Mr. Death” by Alix Harrow. The story is nominated for the prestigious Hugo award, and.I read the nominees every year so I vote for the winners. 

This fantasy story follows a relatively new “reaper” who ferries souls across the river of death. He is given assignments and then sits with the person as they die and accompanies them to the other side. However, as the story opens, he is given a horrible assignment: a child of only 30 month: a two year old. 

Our focal character has deep misgivings and does his best to rationalize and justify the child’s death. But he can’t. He lost his own child and has experienced this kind of pain first hand. As the story proceeds, he moves from giving the child a little extra time to being unable to complete his assignment. He refuses to complete the assignment even though it will mean much more than losing his job, it will probably mean he will be consigned to oblivion. 

If you are going to read the story, this is the place to stop reading. I am about to spoil it. Read the story and come back or skip to the paragraph beginning, “Lovers of life…” 

Here is the connection: when our reaper refuses to take the child and is willing to sacrifice everything, he is surprised to find that he is transformed. He is no longer a reaper and instead, he is a guardian. He stands beside the child as a  protector. 

Lovers of life, pro-choice, pro-life, we need guardians now. Our children need us all to become angels who protect them: in their classrooms, churches, synagogues, movie theaters, and homes. Not with more instruments of death, but with thoughtful and rational laws and rules. Other countries do this; we can do this. 

Can we transform from partners of death to protectors of life? The Supreme Court will soon rule about how the unborn should be protected. What about the newly born? What about the fourth graders? What about our children and grandchildren? 

Thou shall not murder. Put down your weapon and accept your wings. Protect the children. Please. 

In Search of Media Integrity: What About Openly Affirming It?

We need a news source for everyone! 

Remember when there was a rule that, if a news story quoted one point of view, they had to provide the opposing viewpoint? The Fairness Doctrine was a rule from the Federal Communications Commission that stated that, if an organization is using a publicly held resource, the airwaves, to share news, that news must be “honest, equitable, and balanced.” 

Cable TV and relaxed regulations made the Fairness Doctrine a thing of the past. Suddenly, every point of view had a news source that was the opposite: unbalanced, biased, and sometimes stretching the truth beyond recognition. Spin and news were indistinguishable. 

Newspapers have frequently been allied with specific political points of view, but these leanings were only supposed to be seen in their editorials and opinion sections. The goal for their news stories was to be as factual and unbiased as possible.

We know that there is a limit to news neutrality. Students studying to become journalists learn about the myth of objective journalism. There are too many factors that can taint objectivity and a writer’s choices about which points of view to share may not be complete. 

Add to this the attempt of strong forces to purposely spread disinformation. Beyond advertisement and opinion, our recent elections have been plagued by powerful forces, both inside and outside the United States, creating propaganda that attempted to change people’s voting behavior. 

If voters can’t figure out what is true, how can they make good choices? If voters rely on sources that have specific agendas or points of view, a feedback loop is created that prevents growth, learning, and change. If voters are overwhelmed by so many different versions of the news, they may retreat to a mindset of choosing which is most comforting or consistent with their points of view rather than making a careful evaluation of the facts. 

Facts are the issue here. What are the facts? Over and over, we hear people debating if something is factual and often the response is, “I don’t believe that.” A fact is true regardless of any person’s belief in it. Denial of fact is not debate, but delusion. 

So how do we know what is factual? Therein lies the rub! 

At first, I was going to suggest a Wikipedia style crowd-sourced and checked news source. This way, all the interests would have the ability to both be represented and a reader could look at them side by side. 

Aside from articles becoming too long to digest, this idea also requires the creation of another news source and that news source has to reach people. There might be a way to achieve the same goal with our current media outlets. 

Instead, could we create a clear statement of integrity that news sources could endorse, a kind of pact or promise? A media source that signed on with this promise would be saying that the news they presented followed a set of ethical guidelines; it would be a kind of commandments of fair media. 

One doesn’t have to look far to find such a set of values. The Society of Professional Journalists  (https://www.spj.org/) publishes a code of journalistic ethics (https://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp). In it, they state that 

“Journalists should: 

• Take responsibility for the accuracy of their work. Verify information before releasing it. Use original sources whenever possible.
• Remember that neither speed nor format excuses inaccuracy.
• Provide context. Take special care not to misrepresent or oversimplify in promoting, previewing or summarizing a story.
• Gather, update and correct information throughout the life of a news story.
• Be cautious when making promises, but keep the promises they make.
• Identify sources clearly. The public is entitled to as much information as possible to judge the reliability and motivations of sources.
• Consider sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Reserve anonymity for sources who may face danger, retribution or other harm, and have information that cannot be obtained elsewhere. Explain why anonymity was granted.
• Diligently seek subjects of news coverage to allow them to respond to criticism or allegations of wrongdoing.
• Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information unless traditional, open methods will not yield information vital to the public.
• Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. Give voice to the voiceless.
• Support the open and civil exchange of views, even views they find repugnant.
• Recognize a special obligation to serve as watchdogs over public affairs and government. Seek to ensure that the public’s business is conducted in the open, and that public records are open to all.
• Provide access to source material when it is relevant and appropriate.
• Boldly tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience. Seek sources whose voices we seldom hear.
• Avoid stereotyping. Journalists should examine the ways their values and experiences may shape their reporting.
• Label advocacy and commentary.
• Never deliberately distort facts or context, including visual information. Clearly label illustrations and re-enactments.
• Never plagiarize. Always attribute.
• Balance the public’s need for information against potential harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance or undue intrusiveness.
• Show compassion for those who may be affected by news coverage. Use heightened sensitivity when dealing with juveniles, victims of sex crimes, and sources or subjects who are inexperienced or unable to give consent. Consider cultural differences in approach and treatment.
• Recognize that legal access to information differs from an ethical justification to publish or broadcast.
• Realize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than public figures and others who seek power, influence or attention. Weigh the consequences of publishing or broadcasting personal information.
• Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity, even if others do.
• Balance a suspect’s right to a fair trial with the public’s right to know. Consider the implications of identifying criminal suspects before they face legal charges.
• Consider the long-term implications of the extended reach and permanence of publication. Provide updated and more complete information as appropriate.
• Act Independently
• Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. Disclose unavoidable conflicts.
• Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and avoid political and other outside activities that may compromise integrity or impartiality, or may damage credibility.
• Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; do not pay for access to news. Identify content provided by outside sources, whether paid or not.
• Deny favored treatment to advertisers, donors or any other special interests, and resist internal and external pressure to influence coverage.
• Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two. Prominently label sponsored content.
• Be Accountable and Transparent
• Explain ethical choices and processes to audiences. Encourage a civil dialogue with the public about journalistic practices, coverage and news content.
• Respond quickly to questions about accuracy, clarity and fairness.
• Acknowledge mistakes and correct them promptly and prominently. Explain corrections and clarifications carefully and clearly.
• Expose unethical conduct in journalism, including within their organizations.
• Abide by the same high standards they expect of others.” 

How would voters find out if their news source were trustworthy? The news source would openly state that it agrees to abide by this universal code of journalistic ethics. If a news source did not make this promise, that, too, would be a message. Much like the UL logo on a product says that Underwriters Laboratories’ tests have found it safe to use, we would know we could trust a media outlet’s promise of integrity because we would clearly know what that means. 

And if a media outlet violated this code? Well, that would be a news story for other sources to carry. 

Reading For Treasure: I Miss The Good Place

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

It’s been a year without The Good Place and I miss it. The finale rightfully won the Hugo award in December and that made me miss it even more. The tone and ideas of this show are a balm for the daily news.  If you haven’t tried it, I hope these articles will persuade you to watch it!  Yes, there are spoilers below, but this show can handle that. Here are some articles, all from a year ago, extolling, examining, and explaining this magnificent series.

The Atlantic wrote many articles about The Good Place. Here are three of the best: 

“The Good Place Was a Metaphor All Along” which discusses the way this show reflected back upon itself and commented on television and even attempted to better its audience. 

The second article, “The Most Optimistic Show on TV is Over” talks about how “The Good Place has spent four seasons asking weighty questions about the vexing condition of being alive: Can human beings become better? If so, how, and what does that even mean?” 

The third article, although titled, “The Good Place Felt Bad in the End”, really delves into the meaning behind the end of the series and wrestles with some wonderful and meaty questions. 

“How the Good Place Redefines Soul Mates” from Syfy Wire is a great description of the power of this series. It spells out some of the wonderful aspects that make this show far more than a simple sitcom. Warning: this article has some serious spoils, so don’t read it until you’ve finished the series.  

“The Good Place Became the Last Great Sitcom on Network TV By Daring its Audience to Be Better” in Time Magazine is a wonderful testimonial to the power of this program. 

Finally, Tor.com had a wonderful recap and tribute to the series, “What We Owe to Each Other Is to Talk About The Good Place’s Finale” which quickly summarizes some of the shows best moments and accomplishments. 

I am currently reading A History of What Comes Next By Sylvian Neuvel 

Reading For Treasure: We Still Need to Talk – and Read – About Race

 Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

We need to keep race foremost on our minds as we confront the variety of issues facing us right now. While COVID, the economy, education, voting rights, and many other issues are critical; race is intertwined with all of them. So let’s keep reading, talking, and taking action. Here are a few articles to help you do that.  

The Bitter Southerner published a powerful piece that directly addresses tourists at southern plantations who don’t want to hear the history of slavery. “Dear Disgruntled White Plantation Visitors” by author, culinary historian, and historical interpreter, Michael Twitty tears down the stereotypes and asks readers (and visitors) to directly face the horrible truth about the past.   

The New York Times opinion piece,  “I Don’t Need ‘Love’ Texts from My White Friends”  asks white people to do far more than just send emails and texts, hold memorials, and reflect. Instead, writer Chad Sanders provides three specific actions that have more positive impact. 

LifeHacker describes the National Museum of African American History and Culture’s online portal that, “contains tools, online exercises, video instructions, articles, and more than 100 multimedia resources tailored for educators and parents…”  in the quick article, “Get Help Talking About Race With This Tool From The Smithsonian.” It links directly to parts of this resource that might be useful for opening a conversation with your family, colleagues, or neighbors.

Leonard Pitts, Jr. writes in the Chicago Tribune  that “The Right To Bear Arms Does Not Extend to Black People.” He explains that the second amendment was really intended to make sure that the south could put down slave rebellions and goes on to question the NRA’s silence at the deaths of John Crawford III and Tamir Rice. 

Beyond articles, NewsOne provides a list of “5 Books Addressing Race That Every Teen Should Read” that includes titles like Angel of Greenwood, A Song Below Water, and Dragon Hoops. All of the books were written in either 2020 or 2021. 

Finally, three articles dealing with Critical Race Theory. The first is from Blavity, “Everybody’s Talking About It: What is Critical Race Theory?” In it, writer David E. Kirkland lays out the tenets of Critical Race Theory. Professor Ibram X. Kendi, writing in The Atlantic argues that “There Is No Debate Over Critical Race Theory.” Instead, using specific evidence, he makes the case that the critics of CRT, “are arguing against themselves.” Finally, and sadly, Colorlines reports that, “ Critical Race Theory Battles are Driving Black Educators Out of Their Jobs.” Not a shock there, but another part of this very disturbing issue. 

I am currently reading, The Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher. 

Reading for Treasure: Eat Less Meat

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

I have been a vegetarian for almost twenty-five years. There are many reasons to eat less meat: health, environment, economics, ethics. Here are some articles that may help you understand the issues about reducing how much meat, chicken, pork, or fish you consume and how that choice might benefit all of us. 

From Inverse: “U.S. Meat Eaters Should Consider This Study Before Their Next Grocery Run” “Research shows nutrition is a major component of reducing our risks of chronic disease and premature death. Sulfur amino acids are naturally more prevalent in meat than vegetables, so switching to plant-based protein sources like whole grains, beans, lentils, nuts and seeds, and eating recommended daily intakes of sulfur amino acids, could make it less likely that you will develop heart disease or diabetes in future.”

From Lifehacker: “How to Become a Vegetarian (or Eat Less Meat)”  “You don’t need me to tell you that industrial meat production is an enormous contributor to global warming (and climate denialism) or that meat processing corporations are almost cartoonishly evil in their exploitation of an underpaid, often undocumented workforce. The facts are out there for the whole world to see, which is probably why more people are choosing to eat less meat.”

From CNN: “One of the world's top restaurants is ditching meat. Here's what could go wrong” “It might seem like the perfect time to get people on board with an all-vegan menu. Plant-based proteins are as popular as ever. Impossible Foods and Beyond Meat (BYND), which sell alternatives to meat designed to look, taste, and cook like the real thing, have expanded massively in grocery stores and struck major deals with big food companies and restaurant chains. Last month, the food site Epicurious said it would stop publishing beef recipes, noting that production of the meat emits harmful greenhouse gases.”

From Inverse: “A Controversial Diet Change Could Reduce Air Pollution and Save Lives” “New research implicates air pollution caused by agriculture production in the premature deaths of 17,900 Americans. This air pollution is linked to both ammonia and fine particulate matter (PM2.5). These findings were published Monday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.There are solutions that could curb air pollution deaths significantly, the study team says. These include eating a more plant-based diet.”

From The Atlantic: “The Economic Case for Worldwide Vegetarianism” “In a study published last week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Marco Springmann and his colleagues at the University of Oxford conservatively estimate that if people continue to follow current trends of meat consumption, rather than shifting to a more balanced or plant-based diet, it could cost the U.S. between $197 billion and $289 billion each year—and the global economy up to $1.6 trillion—by 2050.”

I am currently reading Artificial Condition by Martha Wells.

Passover is not Passive

The Passover story is powerful. It is about freedom from slavery, plagues, and persecution. It asks us to do more than retell the story but to imagine that we lived it. It is a story of people who took action and transformed their world. Our world is in need of such people and transformation. 

If we are to keep Passover, we must go beyond our diet. I have written about this before. 

At a time when our world, our country, our families are facing so many challenges, keeping Passover means putting its lessons to use. Perhaps, at our seders, we can ask each other, what can we do to help those who are bound become free?  How can we help cure the world of the many plagues that ail it?  How can we help strangers who have left their homes, since we were once strangers? 

A simple way for those of us still sheltering in our homes is to donate to organizations that do this good work. Here are a few Passover causes that need your keeping: 

Support groups working to rid the world of human trafficking, like A21.

Help those who are struggling to feed their families during this time by donating to Feed America. 

Work against the plague of racism and hate by giving to groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League. 

There are many suffering from COVID and other illnesses. While there are many charities that provide care, fund research or assist patients, Partners in Health is an outstanding organization that works to bring healthcare to some of the world's neediest populations. And if you haven’t read about its founder, Paul Farmer, I highly recommend the highly inspiring and challenging book Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracey Kidder. 

Give to those who are helping the strangers at our borders and in our land by contributing to National Immigration Law Center or RAICES. 

There are many more; these are just examples. Passover can be more than a personal holiday, more than meals and special foods. It can be a time when we take its lessons and help change lives.

Passover is about confronting injustice, living our values, following our laws, realizing freedom, becoming a nation, and more. These are our challenges today, too. Let Passover inspire us to do more than give up bread, but to take the steps needed to create miracles that transform our world.  

Good Special People

On January 6, the president told you that you are “very special” and you believed him. Actually, he confirmed what you already knew. You were more than special, you were uniquely called, selected, and empowered to fight a battle against those who threatened the vision that your television has imprinted on your hats, flags, and t-shirts. 

You have the god-given right to march into the most hallowed halls of our country and defecate wherever you want! You know that the election was stolen because trusted sources have repeated this to you since long before the election itself. You knew this would happen! You called it! You are so prophetic. You are like people from the Bible. 

If others disagree with you it is because they have been brainwashed by the media, turned into sheep by powerful forces, or are simply evil and anti-American. They watch the wrong channels. If they would just open their eyes, they would see – like you. 

You are judge, jury, soldier, avenger, scholar, and savior all rolled up in one incredible mass of awesome sauce. 

While others live in clouded delusions, you have divined the secret conspiracies that threatened your prominence as the master race, the guns that make you feel safe, and the rule of your favorite television reality show star. You are blessed. 

How dare they! How dare they take steal an election? How dare they think they are above the law? If they are going to attempt these terrible sins, then your only recourse, your best way of righting these horrendous wrongs is to pick up those guns and steal it back – and kill them. 

Nothing else will work. They have not listened to the oracles on television and social media. They have blasphemed against the man who was smart enough not to pay taxes and will therefore save us all. So they should be fired and fired upon. And you must do it. You and your friends, who are the best and the most patriotic Americans who have ever walked this precious land. 

And this has nothing to do with race! That is a distraction and diversion from those evil people who riot and kneel during the national anthem! They don’t love the flag like you do! You wear the flag like a warm blanket. You paint it on your skin like the people who lived on this land before us, but never understood how great this country could be. But you do! 

They are public servants and you are their masters! If they do not obey you, they deserve to be beaten or hanged! If the brainwashed sheep won’t save this great country, you will be the wolf who blows down their house of lies! They should be grateful. 

There are bad people. There are lots of bad people. They are everywhere. Some of them are out in the open, but many are hiding in the shadows. Many are powerful. Many are not Christian. Fortunately, you have the secret decoder ring to identify, capture, beat, and kill them. You are gifted. 

You do not need scientists or masks or vaccinations. Which is another one of their hoaxes! It is a fake crisis they are using to distract and justify their heinous actions. The numbers are inflated. The doctors are compromised. It is all a plot to take away our freedom. But you will rescue it! You will save us all – no mask needed. You are a superhero! 

And their vaccine is made from dead babies! You’ll never take it. Besides, soon we’ll have herd immunity since all those other people will take it. It’s okay for them to take it, but you would never defile your body with something so impure and profane. 

There is no way the election was lost. Everyone you know voted like you. Everyone who voted like you supports you. You are their representative. They voted for the same person you did and now you are their election avenger! You work for them and they belong to you. They wanted to do this but were not awesome enough. You will do it for them. 

For the sake of our democracy, for the sake of all you hold dear, you will stop at nothing. You have no doubts. You have never been wrong about important things like this. You will not hesitate. You will not listen to their lies. It is your way or we burn it all down. 

We should thank god for you. God would approve. Jesus would do the same thing. He was in favor of violence and hate. His message was one of political revolution, right? You are a modern-day messiah creating a new holy land. 

Who wouldn’t want to be you? 

Without Reason and Rationality, There is No Responsibility

“I didn’t cheat!” 

The student is not looking me in the eyes, “I wrote that. Those are my words. It is just a coincidence that they were similar to another source. I never saw that source. I came up with that paragraph, just like someone else did.” 

Plagiarism was my least favorite student issue. It came in many flavors. Some students took things from the internet and passed them off as their own. Some used quotations or parts of published sources. Others would try to pass off another student’s work as original. Most of the time, their parents made no attempt to defend them. Most of the time, these students came clean and admitted what they had done. 

When they owned their mistake and when their parents stood beside me in holding them accountable, we moved forward. They learned a lesson. I never ever called a parent or sat down with a student to talk about this issue unless I was 100% certain that what they had turned in was not their own. There were times I suspected. There were times I had evidence, and there were times I advised students that what they had written was too close to another source. 

When I confronted a student and their family, I knew what had happened. I knew that they knew it, too. If the student denies what they had done or their parents look at the theft of the writing and excuse it, the student is reduced back to that child inventing excuses for the broken vase. It turns a teenager into a toddler and their parents into patsies. 

If students’ behavior doesn’t matter, if their choices have no effect or consequence, then they really are children. If students cannot be held accountable for their errors and misdeeds, then their successes and achievements are meaningless. They are ineffectual, lame, and impotent. When parents find excuses for their children’s behavior or try to reason it away, their failure to deal with the reality comes at the cost of their own integrity and their child’s growth.  

Similarly, when we don’t like the reality of a situation, we may sometimes find logical or probably fantasies that replace the bad news we wish to avoid. We have all done it. We rationalize away things we don’t want to accept. We find soothing excuses that feel better than the harsh facts that we want to wipe away. 

A rationalization isn’t a reason. It is an excuse. It is thinking one’s way out of dealing honestly with an unpleasant truth. It is a thin imitation of reason, a shadow lacking the substance of the truth. It is a childish strategy of pretending what you want to believe is true. 

And it frees us from doing what needs to be done. It forgives us, lets us off the hook, and gives us phony peace of mind that, at least temporarily, staves off the guilt of lying to ourselves. We are not responsible. We are victims. We didn’t do anything wrong. 

There is nothing new or shocking about avoiding responsibility. There is nothing revolutionary about putting on blinders to avoid seeing what is in front of us and escaping into an imaginary world of  “what ifs” and “that might not be true” and “someone else is to blame.”  

Without honestly and accurately facing the truth, we avoid responsibility for our actions. That is what denial is all about. Without looking at ourselves critically and as dispassionately as we can, we cannot own our errors and learn from them. Without “fessing up” and learning to acknowledge and own the bad as well as the good, we cannot move forward to repair our relationships, learn from our errors, and be better people. 

The denial of the truth, the failure to accept responsibility, and the refusal to think critically rob us not only of our adulthood but also of the two of the most important parts of our humanity: reason and responsibility.

Prayer to the People

Fellow citizens of this great country

Built on hope and horror

Liberty and inequality

Invention and detention 

Arise now in these difficult days 

And illuminate the world with the depth of your decency  

Fellow citizens of this tortured land

Who struggle daily 

With illness, violence, and questions of truth

Lean into the wisdom of good books and good people 

Love your neighbor and

Bring the fairness that can only come 

From just us 

Oh, beautiful Americans, 

Obey your better natures 

Not despots or desperation

Care for the desperate and dispirited

Choose goodness and generosity

Open your arms wide 

Embrace each other 

And the future 

I Still Believe That Americans Are Good At Heart

Anne Frank wrote, “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” 

I believe that Americans want what is best for the country and that a vast majority can see beyond their own parochial interests. I believe that most Americans are kind, compassionate, and empathetic. I believe they want the truth and are upset by those who would manipulate, lie, or deceive them. In spite of everything, I still believe that Americans have their country’s best interests at heart. 

Now, more than ever, it is difficult to argue that Americans are people of integrity and generosity. Racism, anti-Semitism, and hatred are growing. Rather than helping their neighbors, we see pictures of people flaunting common sense and endangering themselves and others. How could I say that these people are good at heart? 

The past months have been extremely difficult. Some of us have borne those challenges more than others. Some of us have taken more precautions than others. Some of us have faced the dangers directly and others have provided support. Some of us have ignored, denied, or defied the recommendation of scientists trying to contain this pandemic. 

We are afraid. We fear that we will get sick or those we care about will get sick. We long for a return to our lives before the arrival of coronavirus. We want to plan again. We want to leave our homes. We want to hug and touch again. We want to feel some kind of control. It is so frightening to feel out of control. Yet, we don’t all have the same response to this situation. 

When someone is drowning, they will cling to anything that is thrown to them. They are desperate. An anvil or a life preserver? A boat or a bomb? People in crisis don’t make measured choices or thoughtful decisions. They react instinctively. They are guided not by thought, but by feeling and instinct. They are not their best selves. 

While we may be tempted to rush to judge our neighbors and friends who are making different choices, I urge us to stop and consider: how can we best help them and the community? What can we do to ensure that people who are drowning are given boats and life preservers? What can we do to the stop the hate and start the healing, even before there is a vaccine? How can we be agents of positivity and well being? 

The first step is to see our fellow Americans for what they are: frightened and frustrated, grasping for whatever might help them stay afloat. If that means denying the reality in front of them or demonizing people who look different, it might be because they can’t tell a boat from a bomb. 

I am not excusing the hatred, racism, sexism, and cruelty. It is wrong. It isn’t going away any time soon, but it must stop and our racist structures must change. It would be helpful to have more of us on board with this idea. I believe, deep at heart, most of us share the idea that everyone should be treated fairly both under the law and beyond it. 

Which leads us to the key question. Those folks, those people without masks, spewing hate, believing absurd fantasies, and pushing us further into a dark age, what would ever convince them to treat everyone fairly? I don’t know. I know that “discussions” on social media don’t seem to do anything but further reinforce the ideas we already have. 

Compassion, empathy, listening, loving, kindness, caring, and integrity are not weapons, but tools by which our behavior can actively show “them” that there is another path. We can love our neighbor, even when our neighbor is working very hard to be hateful. 

It is not going to be easy. I don’t know who will win this election, but we will need to heal each other. I hope our leaders will help us do that, but I am not going to wait or depend on them. 

I am proud to be an American. This is my country and I am committed to helping make it the best it can be for everyone. My arms are open wide enough to embrace our diversity and disagreement. We can be united even if we are not in agreement.