The Year Concludes: Looking Back at 2020 - Part 4

November started without the kids. This had been my life when I retired, but in March my son came home, then my daughter and her puppy in May. They stayed for more than 100 days and then left together for D.C. 

My children’s phone calls were a mainstay of my day. The boomerang of a full house turning empty wasn’t working for me. I love being with my children. I love being together – and that puppy is joyful! I missed them. 

My son was could look for a job anywhere. He was networking, taking seminars, and doing interviewing – and helping his sister. It was delightful that my children got along so well that they could live together –without their parents- for long stretches of time. I was overjoyed. I just wanted to be overjoyed together. 

At home, things continued as they had for months. I kept walking – just without a dog. I walked with my wife daily and usually took a second walk listening to podcasts. 

Since we were home all the time, the house was showing the strain: the front deadbolt wasn’t turning, the dishwasher died, the light switch in the bathroom cracked, we could no longer use the kids’ shower. 

We were reminded constantly of our fragility by the ever-rising COVID numbers and the parade of passings. It felt like condolences were one of the few things we had in plenty. 

Although the election was at the beginning of November, the discussion about the results dragged on. There were constant cries of fraud without any evidence. I worried that those trying to create alternative election results would bend reality. 

My Sunday Confirmation Class was a port in this storm. My co-teacher and I had challenging conversations with our students about everything that was going on. The kids were eager to wrestle with issues, values, ideas, and especially politics. We had a guest speaker and began to take virtual field trips. 

Thanksgiving was stressful. The kids planned to return and everyone would quarantine and test. The kids isolated in DC, we did the same in Deerfield, and my folks stayed in their home, but everyone had exceptions: doctor appointments, errands of mercy, physical therapy. Beyond the usual Thanksgiving stress, we worried about testing and contagion. 

Since it was just the two of us at home, cleaning the basement moved quickly. I finally got a call from the Illinois Department of Employment Security and filed a police report, contacted the Social Security Administration, the IRS, and changed all of my passwords. It was work to ensure the fraudsters did not gain access to my digital life. 

The election was often a focus. I watched What the Constitution Means To Me. Yet, the controversy dragged on. The president would not concede despite the clear evidence he had lost. It felt like a losing team refusing to shake the winners’ hands at the end of a game. 

We had our last Loyola classes. Our teacher was in Hawaii! We learned with this group for a year and a half, so it was sad to end on Zoom. We are hoping for a reunion when it is safe. I stayed connected to the activities and people at Deerfield High School. I saw a beautiful online choral festival concert, a discussion of the fall play, and a spectacular video holiday extravaganza. 

I was extremely anxious about a dental cleaning. I have rarely been so nervous about anything. Increasingly, I worried that even having six of us together for Thanksgiving was too dangerous. We saw friends on Zoom or FaceTime since the temperatures dropped. 

Friends of many years picked up and moved to Michigan. We attended an online library program with Ibrim Kendi. I sent the woman who cuts my hair a check since I was not going to her shop. I worked hard to stay in touch with friends, family, former colleagues, and others. 

The house was quiet, calm, and very clean, but we were eager for the kids’ return They shipped stuff ahead. Days before they got on the road, my son’s computer died. We talked about backing up and data recovery. 

Daylight saving time gave us a nice extra hour of sleep. We changed all the batteries in the smoke detectors and things were beeping for a week! My wife was feeling much more like herself and we took longer walks despite the cold. 

Finally, the kids returned. I wore a mask when I picked up my rental car and didn’t realize it was a smoking car. It smelled horrible. It was only a few hours to South Bend. It was incredible to have everyone together again. 

Two former students reconnected out of nowhere: surprise blessings. My Confirmation class took a virtual field trip to the Unitarian Church and still wanted to talk about politics. I continued my book clubs, played games with the kids in the evening, and got way too excited about virtual backgrounds on Zoom. 

We had a family discussion via Zoom about Thanksgiving. We defined what were and were not acceptable risks. My son and I were tested at our doctor’s office. My wife and daughter waited in a five-hour line at the Department of Health and their results didn’t arrive until days after Thanksgiving! My folks were tested, too. Great to be negative! 

We slipped into the old routine made new by the weather. Walking the dog was now a colder endeavor, but just as joyous. My son started interviewing for jobs and was getting second, third, and fourth interviews! I organized our annual meeting for our homeowners association. We picked up food from restaurants in Evanston and walked around town. The dog had his own playdates. 

I found a way to let my folks see Zoom calls on their large TV instead of just on their computers, but I couldn’t do it distantly. As Thanksgiving approached, my anxiety grew. Planning the Thanksgiving menu was complicated. We put ingredients on our Instacart orders, got things online, and did our best to prepare distantly. 

I watched Star Trek: Voyager during my morning workouts and Star Trek: Discovery as it was released. These shows were so comforting as the world became increasingly frightening. 

Thanksgiving arrived! My daughter cooked and we assisted. We awkwardly wore masks when we were not eating. It was wonderful to be together. We hadn’t shared a meal this way in months. While we were anxious about COVID, being together was happy and healing. The next day, I went to my parents’ house and fixed all their tech issues. 

In addition to her regular job, my daughter organized a conference on teleheath with her health policy society. The kids and I played Settlers of Catan in the evenings. I continued to tutor, teach Sunday school, and go to online events. I arranged for another distant field trip with a church in Chicago and a Buddhist temple in Michigan. 

My daughter cooked and baked and everything was delicious! I washed lots of dishes! My son’s new computer arrived and he vowed to back up more often. We had another Zoom call with the DHS retirees and created a retiree directory. The dog needed a vet visit for tummy issues. 

For Hanukah, we got my parents virtual tickets to see some music shows. On the first night of Hanukah, all of us visited the Botanic Gardens for a light show. It was great to be together, distantly and outdoors. My wife could now walk through the displays without pain. 

The weather varied from quite cold to warm enough to eat outdoors. My daughter took some time off. We made it vacation-like by ordering in brunch and bringing in a few more dinners. Friends dropped off cookies and latkes, which were special and sweet. We sent notes, gifts, and thank yous. We drove through a neighborhood in Chicago famous for Christmas light decorations. 

Holiday food flooded the fridge. The dog preferred the TV remote. My wife organized a gift drive through the congregation. We had a mountain of presents in our yard! The kids watched West Wing. 

My son signed up for webinars, seminars, and classes as he interviewed for jobs. He made lists of things for an apartment. We hiked in the woods, learned to play Ticket to Ride, and dressed warmly. Our daughter made plans to go back to DC in January. The new dishwasher finally arrived! I started planning the congregation’s twentieth anniversary instead of washing dishes. 

The weather was still in the 20s and sometimes up into the 50s at the end of December, so we met my parents for outdoor walks. We thought that meant winter would be mild; we were wrong! My wife took the family to Rogers Park for a tour of her old neighborhood and stories of her childhood. One the way home, we went through Skokie past my childhood home.

We were Zooming for everything: conversations with friends, Shabbat services, funerals, shivas, and even another reunion of my college science fiction club! I helped a congregation in Michigan discuss renaming. We traveled further from home to try new restaurants. The kids put my daughter’s game console on our TV and played video games together. My wife bonded with the dog by feeding him salmon. My daughter helped her brother with his resume. 

Healthcare folks were getting the vaccine, but I was still very anxious. The COVID numbers were up and yet we saw photos of people traveling. How could they do that? We sent money to our snowplow service because there hadn’t been any snow– until December 29th. 

I was walking the dog when it started snowing. The dog loved it! He kept going outside to catch snowflakes and roll! Snow became a mainstay of his diet. 

My daughter’s work did not let up. Holidays or not, she worked ten-hour days or longer. It was good she was home and we could help her make all the pieces fit. 

As 2020 ended, we were together. I tried not to think about how soon we would be separated. The year ended unceremoniously, but we were healthy, happy, and home. 

The Pandemic’s Silver Summer: Looking Back at 2020 – Part 3

The pandemic closed everything and turned us into homebodies, but the summer had a different flavor: our children were home! Our daughter, Quinn’s arrival on Memorial Day weekend changed everything. It had been decades since our house was this full. The puppy was delightful. Most of all, we were together.

Quinn’s childhood room had been transformed into an office without a bed. So the little guestroom became her base of operations. Quinn didn’t mind the different bedroom, however, she missed her apartment in DC and living an independent life. Not an easy transition for an adult in her twenties. 

It was getting warmer. My daughter’s bedroom needed some fans to keep it cool. But we could gather outside. We had friends on our patio, meals on my parents’ porch, and lots of outdoor activity, especially walks. 

At the same time, George Floyd was killed in Minnesota and a nationwide examination of racial justice reignited.  I joined an online racial justice discussion group facilitated by a friend and a Facebook discussion group called Justice in June. We donated to a long group of charities that both helped people protesting and worked to dismantle systemic racism. 

Yet deaths from both pandemics kept coming. Several Deerfield High School retirees passed away. My parents lost dear friends. There were several devastating and sudden deaths of people in their fifties and sixties. And a parade of parent losses. The summer was marked by Zoom funerals, condolence cards, and tribute contributions. A virtual shiva cannot replace the real thing. Comforting the bereaved became a much more challenging and important thing to do. 

At home, Pippin, my daughter’s dog, was the center of our universe. We walked him three or more times a day. He loved having a backyard and went in and outside constantly. The dog’s presence brought more joy and happiness than I ever anticipated. He was a saving grace while my daughter had been alone, and they brought that warmth back here. 

We were always walking. We walked with friends and their dogs. We went to forest preserves. We played in the fields next door at the high school. We chased and ran and threw balls and picked up lots of poop. 

Walking a dog opened doors we didn’t know existed. We met other neighborhood dogs and their owners. The dogs had impromptu wrestling sessions and scheduled playdates. Neighbors were drawn to us because we were walking a friendly and beautiful animal. Pippin loved other dogs, neighbor’s children, and everyone he met. We shared his popularity. 

We helped with his maintenance. We took him to a dog wash attached to a car wash. He was neutered and in a cone for several weeks. My daughter worked hard training him; he learned to give a high five, tolerate ear cleanings, and sit at intersections. He became an integral part of our family. Putting him at bed at night was a family ritual. 

All that walking was more than my wife could handle. She was still struggling with her back. We met with two new surgeons. She had a CAT scan, which showed her back was the same as before surgery in February! Finally, we met with a doctor at Northwestern downtown and planned for a second surgery at the end of July. 

My son was conducting informational interviews every day. He was learning to network and teaching himself about selling sports tickets. When he wasn’t on the phone, listening to a podcast, or reading about sports business, he was working out. 

One of the nicest aspects of the summer was that, after each phone conversation, my son would come from his room to mine and discuss his call. I got a view into his job search that I would never have had if he were far away. 

I was staying in touch with friends, family, former students, and colleagues. I sent emails, texts, called and met people for walks and on the patio. I worked hard to stay connected. 

My friends from school were struggling with online learning and were relieved when school ended. Things were messy; teachers and students struggled to balance all their competing needs. I attended online concerts and performances. I saw the school’s online commencement and then went to the drive-through graduation in the parking lot. It was nice to see kids and share in their undiminished joy. While it lacked the pomp of the regular graduation, it was a welcome chance to see people in person for a positive purpose.

The school was working hard to end the year and plan for the upcoming fall. There were changes in roles, courses, and, of course, how classes were taught. Almost every day, someone said to me, “Aren’t you glad you retired when you did?” Yes, but I was feeling bad for my friends still in the classroom and did whatever I could to support them. 

I took photos of the kids, the dog, my parents, and our friends. Like this post, I worked hard to document this strange time. I hope it is an unusual time and not something we experience again. 

I was reading, especially books for my book groups, but I had far less time to just sit and read. We had three cars, but we didn’t go anywhere. Students and friends from long ago reconnected. We attended online weddings. The high school retirees met on Zoom. My Sunday school students celebrated our Confirmation service online. I started tutoring a young man for his bar mitzvah. 

Most of our congregational activities were online. We had our annual meeting, a trivia night, and regular Shabbat services on Zoom. People attended from all over the country. Yet, we wanted to see each other face-to-face or mask-to-mask as was becoming the norm. So we created an outdoor and distanced tailgate party at a train station parking lot. People brought outdoor chairs, stayed six feet apart, and had a meal together. It was delightful to be together. 

Some folks felt confined and were out and about far more than they would admit. My wife went to a gathering of friends and was shocked that it was not distanced and she was the only one masked. We talked about how we should handle these kinds of awkward, uncomfortable, and dangerous situations. 

We spent a lot of time planning dinners. We had wine and cheese happy hours. We ordered from restaurants all over. We ate ice cream! We mastered Instacart, even if ordering was sometimes a laborious group project. We tried other grocery services, but their websites were problematic. We ordered from Jewel and couldn’t change an item when there was an error. We canceled that order and remade it – but both orders showed up! We never had more ice cream in our house then after this ginormous double order! 

All of this eating meant that our dishwasher was working overtime. It died eventually and I became our dishwasher for weeks until we got a new one. 

My daughter had not set a date for her return to D.C. At one point, it looked like she was going to be ordered to return to her office, but as the election approached, those plans were thankfully scraped. She decided to stay through July to help after her mother’s surgery.

Houses continued to be sold in our neighborhood. Some of the folks moving in were families of my students during my last year of teaching. Some were my former students moving in with their spouses and children! 

Two former students married each other and we participated in their outdoor wedding shower – and it rained! A shower in a shower! Father’s Day was so hot that our celebration was cut short. The kids and I took the pup for walks along the lake.

The country seems to be struggling to stay safe. People were reluctant to take proper precautions. The COVID numbers were going up and more people were becoming ill, going to the hospital, or dying! 

It was hot outside. We were cleaning the basement, vacuuming, dusting, and doing laundry. My wife watched all the new TV series. She was in constant contact with a long list of people, many of whom would drop by for distanced visits on our patio. 

Since we didn’t want to linger in front of the greeting card section of a store, I started making my own, but we ordered a package of condolence cards. 

It became clear that our daughter was going to make regular trips between D.C. and Chicago. Although her ten-year-old Prius was in good shape, it lacked the safety features of newer cars. So we shopped for a replacement. By the end of the summer, she was driving a car that was as safe as any on the road: another red Prius! 

Going to get my car’s emissions checked felt normal, but my medical visits felt frightening. There were fewer sports on TV, but my family was still watching the Cubs. I no longer wore a watch. Taking a single journey in the car was unusual. Taking more than one was outrageous. We watched Hamilton on TV! We huddled in the basement during a big summer storm. We played Wingspan! 

At the end of July, my wife had her second back surgery. We went downtown to Northwestern and checked in around 5am. They took her and left me in the waiting room. I couldn’t stay with her or go to her room; I walked to the lake and saw the sunrise. She called to say that they couldn’t find her COVID test! Instead of morning surgery, she ended up in the afternoon; instead of a one-hour procedure, it took three hours! Instead of going home, she spent a night in the hospital. I had a positive conversation with the surgeon, but I went home alone.

I returned to the hospital the next day and brought her home – along with pizzas from Uno’s! It was quickly clear early that this surgery went much better than one in February. She started taking short walks. She joined Quinn on the morning dog walks. We had follow-up visits with the surgeon. She was doing wonderfully! It also helped that she had three nurses helping her recover. By the end of the summer, my wife was walking pain-free! 

The World Science Fiction Convention was held virtually from Wellington, New Zealand. Our plans to get out of the Chicago winter vanished and we canceled our trip. I was able to get a refund for our flights. My wife hoped we could take a warm-weather winter retreat. I hoped she was right. She wasn’t. I went to a gala event for a local theatre and got to Zoom with Gates McFadden, Dr. Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation! 

As September approached, our friends at Deerfield High School prepared for remote classes. I called all my Confirmation Class families to talk about the coming Sunday School year. 

High Holidays were approaching and the rabbi asked if the kids would like to read. All the readings were recorded, so the three of us dressed up and read for the camera. 

My son got his flu shot. My daughter promised to get hers when she got back. We went to a forest area and had a lovely picnic before their departure. I had to stay in the moment and enjoy being together rather than worry about what the future held. I didn’t want to miss my kids until they were actually away. 

They shipped some things to D.C. and stuffed the new car. Neighbors came over to wish the kids (and the dog) a good journey and brought gifts, drawings, and even cheese for the dog! Then, on a rainy Saturday morning, they drove east. My daughter had been home for 105 days! They drove to Pittsburgh and visited Quinn’s best friend before getting back to D.C. on the Sunday before Labor Day. And the toilet in her apartment was broken when they arrived! 

Our dear friends’ daughter was married on the same day. We watched the wedding online. The house was quiet and, soon, extremely clean. We took longer walks. My wife went to physical therapy and eventually started yoga! In October, she had the last surgeon check-up via telehealth. She was finally feeling better! 

Sunday School began at a nearby park. We stayed distanced, wore masks, and sat in outdoor chairs. It was nice to be in the same space with the students. The weather cooperated. Class with masks is a challenge. Kids struggled to speak up, so I made mini-megaphones so our soft speakers could be heard.  

Signs of COVID were all around. Our niece got it. Several neighbors got it. It wasn’t just out there. 

We attended a distanced gathering of my former department. It was great to see people and hear about school. They were working harder than ever. Friends had babies and we shared their joy by sending gifts. We went to our Loyola class and another classmate got COVID! My daughter struggled to register her new car in DC.

High Holidays arrived and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg died moments before the first service. Fortunately, services were wonderful and, despite being distanced, connected us to our congregation and the larger Jewish world. We even had Zoom gatherings after each service. I played schmooze director. 

Missing the kids was no longer a punch in the gut but was still a strong pull. They had not lived together recently except on vacations. They were doing well and helping each other. We talked daily. I cared about the substance of the conversations, but just hearing their voices or seeing their faces was the important part. 

Summer turned to fall, but the weather was still delightful. We moved toward the election and worried about the country and the appalling things that people said and did. We learned some terrible truths about many people. It was another kind of loss. 

We went to the school’s outstanding fall plays! My wife got her hair cut, but I would not. We continued to walk the neighborhood and enjoyed other people’s dogs. We had dinner outside with my parents. I continued to be their technical support. 

We cleaned the basement and discovered old documents and scanned them. We got into a routine of monthly contributions to charities. We always gave to several food banks as well as groups that helped with critical services or worked for social justice. 

Friends of many years moved from the neighborhood. We had lovely dinners with neighbors and friends, even as we dressed more warmly. Sunday School in the park became cooler and we eventually moved to Zoom. 

I reached out to people and encouraged them to vote. The president and much of his circle got COVID! It didn’t seem to matter. My cousin became a grandmother for the third time. We hadn’t seen her kids during the entire pregnancy! We cut down a dying tree in our backyard. I created our holiday card. I went to a friend’s barbershop concert online! 

We got our mail-in ballots. I researched judges and other offices. The first presidential debate was not presidential at all! It was shocking and awful! 

October 19 was our 500th day of retirement. I celebrated by dropping off our ballots at the township center. I attended a virtual Star Trek campaign fundraising event. I learned that Stacy Abrams is an avid and very knowledgeable fan!  Mayor Pete is also a Trekker, and Andrew Yang was no Trek slouch! 

I listened to a friend’s concert in Tel Aviv, went to an outdoor distance Sukkot service, and attended too many online shivas. We got our flu shots. Our neighbor’s cars were robbed in their driveway. The school put fake coyotes in the fields that scared away geese and freaked out neighbors. The congregation did another distanced tailgate party; it was much chillier than the first. The wonderful DHS Friends of the Arts hosted Facebook live showoff showcases that let us see what kids and teachers were doing. 

My daughter sent photos of the dog (and her brother) in D.C. We longed to be closer to them. Our son started to pursue job possibilities and continued to have several information interviews each day. The coming election contributed to our daughter’s intense workload! 

I read book after book, listened to podcasts on my solo walks, and watched TV shows as I worked out in the morning. We took walks in forest preserves around Lake County.

Like thousands of others, I got a letter from the Illinois Department of Employment Security saying I had applied for unemployment insurance. I had not! So I battled identity theft.  

We celebrated my wife’s birthday with food from all over the area. The kids called. I made a card. A few days later, we had a neighborhood-wide Halloween celebration. More children came to our house than ever. We put candy on a table at the end of our driveway and stood at a distance. Kids and their parents paraded down the streets. It was so nice to see everyone, even if it was through a mask and far away. 

As we moved toward November, the election, and the end of the year, we still savored the summer. We were so grateful for a summer with our children, even in the shadow of COVID. Would they come home again? What would the end of the year hold? Our worries warred with our hopes. 

The Pandemic Proceeds: Looking Back at 2020, Part 2- April and May

February and March introduced us to COVID-19. In April, it moved in. I was living in a state of heightened anxiety. After each walk outside, trip to the gas station, store, or anywhere, I scrubbed my hands. I felt like I was being hunted by an invisible foe. 

April felt like the month of cancelations. We canceled our plans to visit our daughter in D.C. I co-teach the Confirmation Class at our congregation. and we canceled the service and prepared to move it online. We had planned a special family trip to Norway and we began taking it apart. We canceled all service people coming into our home. We canceled our plans to attend weddings, which were then canceled. It was a very different version of cancel culture. 

Meanwhile, my book club chose to read The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis. Strangely, a story of duel pandemics was comforting. 

My friends at Deerfield High School were struggling to teach students online. Students were distracted, upset, and often absent. Teachers were trying to balance their own families’ needs and take care of students. Teaching in an online environment was new to everyone! I helped a few teachers map routes through Deerfield so they could drop off gifts, goodies, and greetings at their students’ homes. 

May years ago, I recorded A Tale of Two Cities on audio as a teaching text. I read and taught it. My colleagues were teaching this way all the time, but it only seemed like the worst of times. 

We made trips to grocery stores wearing gloves. We brought my parents groceries and they brought us food, too. Every time we saw toilet paper, we grabbed it! Our prescriptions arrived by mail. 

It looked like we might want masks, so I ordered some from a DHS alumnus whose business made bed linens and was now making masks. I ordered a lot: some for us, some for the rest of the family. 

I set my parents up on Zoom and helped them use it. I found an old lamp in the basement that would give me more face light when I was on a video call. 

We began to meet people on our patio, outside, masked and distanced. We still called, texted, emailed, and video chatted regularly too. We continued our effort to stay in touch and reach out to friends and family. 

I started a group sourced poem called “When This is Over” on Facebook and published it here. The end of this time felt far closer then than it does now.  

My anxiety kept rising. My emotions were very close to the surface and I had to remind myself frequently about what I could or could not control. 

Many of the appliances in the house were running far more than in the past. My wife needed ice on her back several times a day. We ran the dishwasher constantly and it was spitting out strange melted pieces of plastic. I didn’t even want to think about what would occur if the computer broke or we lost our internet connection! 

Before the pandemic, we spent a great deal of time with my parents, and now we feared that these visits might kill them. We met on patios, but it wasn’t enough. They were still not in the same place about the gravity of the situation. My mother would mock my precautions and tell me to hide in the basement when she was coming over. We would call daily and see each other at least once a week outdoors. 

My wife recovered from her surgery, but she was in the same condition as she was before the surgery. We had unsatisfying telehealth visits with the surgeon. My wife tried shots in her spine. No help. New meds. Didn’t work. Her MRIs looked exactly like the ones from January! She started physical therapy. We looked for a new surgeon and talked about a second surgery! 

We were concerned about our daughter who was working long hours on the Federal Government’s response to COVID in D.C. Our public health expert was going to work herself sick. How do you help someone who is 600 miles away? 

I signed up for an online service that alerted me when disinfecting wipes became available. I was able to buy some once or twice. We shared them with everyone! 

Passover was online. I wondered if it was safe to go to doctor or dental appointments. I was hesitant to go into a building for anything! Although the weather was getting better, the list of people who had died grew longer. Several friends on social media talked about their experience wrestling with COVID. I attended more Zoom funerals and saw postings about the loss of loved ones. 

Throughout the spring, we brought in the mail wearing gloves and then left it on the dining room table for three days before opening it; then we washed our hands. 

Restaurants started doing curbside pick up and we began to order out more. I made signs for the cars that said, “Order for Hirsch, please” on one side and “Thank you” on the other. I participated in a birthday car parade for a friend’s sixtieth. 

The pull of college was still strong for our son. His a capella group wanted to make a video of the concert they planned for the spring. That would mean traveling back to Ohio for several days and staying somewhere – and then singing, an activity that was highly problematic. While he knew it was too dangerous, it was yet another loss. He recorded at home and sent his work in, but it was far from satisfying. 

School was still online. I made a montage for my senior homeroom with the photos I had taken over the years. I sent my former Freshman English students the letters they wrote to themselves on their first day of high school. I emailed my other former students wishing them well. 

Anxiety was growing in the pit of my stomach. I found that tears welled up at surprising times. Our daughter called often. She was working very hard both at her job and with her new puppy. 

My son’s college glee club held a virtual concert using submitted recordings, old video, and recorded material. It was wonderful. It was the first time I sat next to my singer son during one of his concerts. 

My Sunday school students were struggling with Zoom fatigue. Our classes were shorter, so we needed more of them to get ready for an online Confirmation service. 

I continued to be tech support for my parents. They received more than their share of phish and scam emails. We talked, at length, about how to recognize a fraudulent email or text. 

In May, we finally made plans for our daughter to come home. Once her puppy had all his shots, she could make the trek. A long car ride with a four-month-old puppy would not be easy. 

My book clubs met online. I wondered if they would ever meet in person again. I had a reunion with some college friends via Zoom. A friend and her husband did a chamber music concert from their home in Israel via Zoom. The DHS retirees, who usually gathered for lunch in town, had an online get together. All functions of our congregation were on Zoom. The choir met on Zoom to talk about what we would do since we couldn’t sing at High Holiday services. I attended funerals and weddings online. While I have always spent a good deal of time in front of the computer, I was now spending much more time staring into a screen! 

I was still working hard to stay in touch and support my teacher friends. They were barely keeping their eyeballs above water! Yet, the school board berated teachers calling them lazy and said they were shirking their responsibilities. It was shocking and disrespectful. Teachers were working harder than ever! My wife and I wrote a letter to the board expressing our disappointment and outrage. We were not alone. The board apologized. 

I wondered if I had this disease if I coughed or sneezed or caught my breath. Was it my allergies or was it something far worse? 

We became Instacart experts. Many houses were on sale in the neighborhood and they were selling quickly. We waved at people on our walks but crossed the street to avoid them. Not everyone understood the idea of distancing, especially cyclists. Friends started to lose their jobs, get furloughed or reduced. 

At the end of May, my son graduated from college via an online ceremony. There was even a virtual reality component where he was given an avatar and could walk around a virtual campus. It was Minecraft meets Legos. He tried it for a few minutes and then joined us watching the polished video presentation that featured video of my son’s musical groups! I think he liked graduating this way better than all the hubbub of being in a big stadium. The concerts, however, were deeply missed. 

Once he was done with college, the job search began in earnest. He started reaching out to people for informational interviews. By the end of the summer, he had spoken to more than one hundred people in dozens of organizations. He was a networker! 

We had Mother’s Day distanced on my folks’ patio. They still needed quite a bit of technical support but were becoming good Zoomers. I signed them up for Instagram so they could hear a concert by my brother’s daughter. We had several family gatherings in backyards. Thank goodness for nice weather. 

For my birthday, I got Star Trek masks and a tin of Garrett’s caramel corn! I ate it. All of it. I read the nominees for the Hugo awards. All of them. 

Our daughter trekked west over Memorial Day weekend. My son and I met her in Ohio and helped drive her home. We rented a car, sanitized it, planned the logistics, and drove my daughter and her dog to Illinois in the pouring rain. 

Finally, all of us were home and safe. For the first time since this started, I could breathe easier. For the first time, I slept well. We would face the summer together. 

The Prologue is Past: Looking Back at 2020, Part 1

No one would have believed, in the first months of 2020, that our world was about to explode. As I looked at my journals and photos from the first three months of 2020, I am shocked. 

For me, the year began on a tropical beach with spectacular fireworks and in the company of my entire family. I could not have been more relaxed or content on New Year’s Day. 

It was my first winter break in retirement. When I returned to the Illinois cold, I connected with friends, family, and former students. I went out to lunches and dinners, took walks, went to shows, and had an intense social calendar. My wife and I were determined to not be the isolated retired folks. 

We had plenty of travel planned. I spent a great deal of time planning our arrangements, especially to go to the weddings of several of our friends’ children and visit our own. 

However, my wife was struggling with severe back pain and could not walk more than a few steps. I did some research and read a book called Crooked. We met with doctors, but her pain increased and her mobility decreased. We scheduled surgery for February. 

I was planning for our younger child’s graduation from Miami of Ohio. In addition to the regular graduation ceremony, he would have a series of concerts. We had been traveling to hear his concerts and knew that these end-of-the-year events featured and feted the seniors. I fussed with getting hotel rooms for the entire family and the best seats at the concert hall. 

At the end of January, our son’s Glee Club sang their way through Florida, so my wife and I played groupies and spent a week following them through the sunny state and escaped the cold. 

One of the many projects my wife and I undertook was to transform our daughter’s room into an office and media room. She now lives in D.C. So we gave away her childhood bunk bed and the furniture we had purchased when she was born, pulled up the bright blue shag carpet, and started the process of creating a brand new space. We refinished the wooden floors and repainted the walls. We were certain that our daughter would never need that room again. Ha! 

We had lunch with a group of retirees from Deerfield High School (DHS) at a local restaurant called Warehouse. It was nice to see everyone. The group was smaller than usual since many people escaped for the winter. We were thinking about how we might join them. 

I spent several days back at DHS assisting the Science Fiction teachers and librarians help students select their free reading books. It was great to talk about literature with kids without the burden of grading. It was so nice to be back in the building and feel the excitement and energy of school. 

I have always been the technical support person for my folks. I installed a new router and booster in their house and replaced their nearly fifteen-year-old wifi system. Just in time! 

I got a call that a DHS English teacher was ill; would I come in to teach one class a day? Suddenly, I was back in the classroom for a while. I could only stay for a few weeks because my wife and I had planned a trip to California. For three weeks in February, I taught a great group of juniors and visited my senior homeroom. I saw my friends around the building. It was like being a grand-teacher. 

My wife had her surgery and we were optimistic. She had a great deal of pain afterward. The doctor emphasized that we should measure progress week-to-week or month-to-month and not day-to-day. However, by any measure, things were moving glacially. 

One of my retirement goals was to learn to cook. My wife and I would select a recipe or two a week, I would make a special trip to the grocery store and get all the ingredients and then I would destroy the kitchen. Sometimes she liked what I created! 

On February 6, I had a haircut. My hair has not been cut since then. It is longer than it is has been in over fifteen years! 

My parents celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary at the end of February. They celebrated with a wonderful trip to the big island of Hawaii. They changed their trip so they could be home for my wife’s surgery, and left shortly after it. 

I went to Capricon, a fan-run science fiction convention held in a nearby hotel. It was the most recent in-person convention I have attended. 

We attended dear friends’ daughter’s wedding downtown. It was a big party with lots of people. My wife wasn’t sure she would feel well enough to attend, but she had a wonderful time. It was a glorious and grand celebration.

We were out with friends several nights a week. We celebrated a friend’s retirement from DHS and took her to dinner. We made plans to go to Minnesota for another wedding in the summer. 

At the end of February, we left for a week in San Diego. My wife was still not walking well, but we hoped the warmth would help her heal. We flew out and stayed in an Airbnb near Mission Beach. 

While we were there, our son’s university said that two students from China were ill and were quarantining. They were waiting to see if they had the disease that had become an epidemic in China. 

Shortly after we got to San Diego, my parents called and asked if they should come home early from Hawaii due to the illness in China. They were concerned about getting stuck if air travel was restricted. We dissuaded them from doing this and encouraged them to enjoy their anniversary vacation. 

A friend posted a question on Facebook: if you were traveling on an airplane, would you wear a mask? I replied that I was traveling and I would wear a mask: I was going as Batman. Ouch. 

We followed the primaries and sent in our votes by mail when we got home. We have been voting by mail for years and have never questioned that choice. 

As the weather warmed, I took more walks. I would carry a chair for my wife. We’d walk for a while and then I’d unfold the chair and she’d rest, and then we’d walk a little further. We measured progress by how far she could go. She couldn’t go far. 

In March, my daughter in D.C. brought home a puppy. She had been planning his arrival for months and saving for years. We eagerly awaited every photo she sent of this adorable little ball of fur – and made plans to visit them in April. 

On March 8, My congregation Confirmation Class co-teacher and I took our class and some parents to the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir in Bartlet. I wondered if anyone would keep their student at home, ask about precautions, or bring gloves or masks. Nope. The trip was healthy and successful and we learned a great deal about Hinduism. It was also the last time class met in person. 

Later that same day, I met my science fiction book club at the Panera in Evanston. This was the last time this group would meet in person and the last time we would meet at that Panera ever – it is now permanently closed!  

The following day, my parents returned from their trip. I had dinner with them in a restaurant nearby. My mother had the salad bar and, only after she returned to the table with her first helping, I realized that a salad bar was a bad idea. I don’t think we’ll see many in the future.  

The author, Neal Schusterman, visited Deerfield High School the next day and I helped with the event. We had several hundred students from the Science Fiction classes gather in the cafeteria to hear him. It was my last time at school; school closed the next day because a parent was exposed to COVID. Was the child of that parent in the program? 

A friend came to dinner on March 13 and I went to Evanston for lunch with a former student on the 14th. No more guests or eating in restaurants since. 

Our son’s university canceled classes and went completely remote. That included those May concerts that would have featured our son. Despite that, he did not want to come home. 

In the midst of all this, I made some photo magnets for my daughter to bring to her work. She had mentioned that lots of people have photos of their families around their desks and she did not. I made them and sent them to her. However, she would not be in that office much longer. 

I had a difficult conversation with my son about coming home. We agreed on a date, I rented a van, cleaned it thoroughly, and drove to Ohio. I stayed one night in a hotel and barely slept because I had sprayed the bed with disinfectant and it smelled horrible! I felt so sad that his college career was ending this way. I stopped at a few places hoping to score some toilet paper. We drove home and classes moved into his bedroom in Deerfield.

A friend caught COVID from her nanny. She became very sick and struggled for months. We heard rumors that a lockdown order was coming. I went to six stores and could not find toilet paper or wipes! 

My daughter’s job was increasingly stressful despite going remote. The puppy was both a wonderful release and an additional burden. She was alone much of the time, even if she met with people outdoors occasionally. 

On March 19, the governor declared a shelter in place order. 

My wife and I started making regular donations to food pantries and other charities. Our family business started making hand sanitizer. I helped my parents learn how to Zoom! 

A friend had her wedding on Zoom. A former student and his wife had a baby. Blessings continued even in this frightening time. 

People who were on their own were clearly struggling. We called them and invited them for a distanced visit on our patio once that was permitted. We had video chats. We started checking in with people every day. We created a pandemic card, like a holiday card, and sent it out. 

More friends got the virus. There were more notations on social media of loved ones who had died or people who were sick. 

We learned to order groceries via Instacart and we would wipe them down when they got to the house. My brother sent us a video made by a doctor teaching us how to do this thoroughly. We disinfected the entire house constantly! 

Our son’s college scheduled a weekend in September to replace the May commencement that they had canceled. I booked hotel rooms. 

At the end of March, I made the note in my journal that I was hoping we would, “get back to normal in dribs and drabs sometime at the end of April or early May.”  2020 was just getting started.