Ten Ways to Protect Your Accounts with Strong Passwords

Recently, many of us have been receiving messages that some of our passwords have been compromised. I have written about passwords before but I want to give you another dose of rules, tools, and suggestions to keep you as digitally safe as possible. I have been sitting down with friends and relatives recently and asking them to evaluate both their passwords and how they store and create them. 

Here are some suggestions, rules, and tools:

1. Don’t use the same password for more than one login. If one of those sites has a breach, someone now has your email (or user name) and password. You can be sure they will try it on other sites! 

2. Make passwords long and complex. Use numbers, capital and small letters, and symbols (if the site allows). 

3. Do not, do not, do not, do not keep a list of your passwords on a post-it note on your computer. While a piece of paper in a file might have some degree of security and practicality there are better ways to do this. On Apple products, you can create a password protected note, which is better than having a slip in your wallet – but there are better methods. 

4. I recommend everyone use a password manager. I use 1Password, but there are many others. Apple offers Keychain built into the Apple ecosystem. The main benefit of a password manager is that it stores all your passwords securely and you don’t have to remember all of them. All you have to remember is how to get into the manager (thus the one I use is called 1Password because I only have to remember the password that lets me into my password manager). I STRONGLY suggest looking at a dedicated password manager that is not a locked note, Keychain, or the password saver built into your web browser. 

5. Another benefit of a password manager is that it can autofill your usernames and passwords when you go to a website. It will also remember your password when you use it on a new website (and even offer to create a strong and complex password for you). 

6. A side benefit of this is that, if my password manager does NOT offer me my password on a website that LOOKS LIKE it is my bank, for instances, it is a warning that I might be on a fake website and about to give away my username and password to a hacker! If my password manager doesn’t recognize the website, I need to find out why. 

7. Consider trying passkeys instead of passwords. Passkeys are when you use another device instead of a password. You might use your fingerprint or other biometrics. A website might ping your phone, watch, or other device. You can even purchase an actual digital key that plugs into your computer and lets websites know that it is really you! 

8. Many websites now use one-time password codes instead of passwords. You log in with your email and they send you a code. This is great – as long as you have control over the means of getting that code. If a hacker gets control of your email or phone number, you will be unable to receive these one-time password codes.

9. For this reason (and others), it is critical that you use secure passwords with your high-priority assets: your email account, financial institutions, any website where you have stored a credit card (Amazon), social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc), and of course, work-related websites. All of these should be protected with long, complex, and unique passwords – so long and complex that you could never ever remember them. Thus, storing them using a secure password manager would be a good idea (there is a theme here – get it?). 

10. Always, always, always take advantage of two-part authentication when it is available. This is when you get a code sent via text or email or through an authenticator app when you log on to a site for the first time on a new device or browser. This is not foolproof. If someone has your phone, they might be able to use this to reset a password. However, if you receive a message with a code when you haven’t logged in to that website, you know someone else is trying to. 

The scammers are getting more and more clever and devious, as I have written about before. We have to help each other stay safe and protected! While a warning that you have a compromised password may or may not be true, we all could improve our password security. Be safe out there! 

UPDATED: Strategies to Avoid Getting Scammed

The scammers are devious. They are increasingly harnessing both technological and psychological weapons to trick people out of their money – especially vulnerable people like the elderly. 

I have written about scams before, and while the articles and advice in those posts are still relevant, the scammers are escalating their tactics and we need to add some more precautions to our anti-scammer protection system. 

For those who don’t want to read much, here are my anti-scamming suggestions (this is an extenion on the list I wrote here): 

Trust your gut: If you even have a slight inkling that the phone call, email, website, text, or other form of communication is a scam: STOP! We frequently have a little voice in the back of our minds that raises the issue, but we don’t pay attention: PAY ATTENTION! 

Just because they have some information about you, even something as private as your social security number, bank account number, credit or debit card number, address, or date of birth, don’t trust them! Scammers can get this information. Bad actors can access private and personal data. Don’t rationalize that, “this can’t be a scam because they have my…”

If the message is urgent, it is likely a scam. If the message is highly sensitive, it is probably a scam. If the message is emotional, it is likely a scam. If the message is shocking, it is likely a scam. Your grandchild is most likely not in danger. No government agency is coming after you. No one has hacked into your bank account. “You can’t tell anyone,” is a huge red flag! When the person on the phone or the email screams that the house is on fire and you must trust them to put it out, hang up and do the thing next on this list. 

Contact the agency or person in question the way you normally do! If the email or caller says they are from your bank, hang up and call your bank. If they say that there has been a car accident and your relative needs help, call that relative (and if you can’t reach them, call someone close to them whom you trust). As the photo shows, links can look like they are correct and lead you to the wrong website. If you have a browser bookmark for your brokerage account, use that link– never click on links in texts or emails! 

Don’t give ANYONE your private information. Period. Don’t confirm your private information. Period. Of course, if you call your doctor, banker, broker, or other trusted source, you can do that. However, if someone contacts you and claims to be from their office – or even sounds like them – nope! 

Fakes are easy to create! Scammers can spoof phone numbers, so don’t trust the caller ID. Spammers can fake people’s voices, so just because it sounds like that person doesn’t mean it is that person. Spammers make website addresses, links, emails, and phone numbers look like the real thing. That is why you must always use the contact information that you have used in the past and know 100% is, in fact, the real thing – not the link, email address, phone number, or other method that they are feeding you. 

If there is even a tiny chance you are on the phone with a scammer: hang up! Then contact the organization using your regular contact method. Pro tip: if you are on a cell phone call and turn it to airplane mode, the person on the other end will see a “call failed” message. To really sell it, do this in the middle of a sentence or word. 

Don’t use passwords, passcodes, PIN numbers, or other private unlocking strategies in public - EVER. Don’t unlock your phone at the bar. Go inside the bank and cover your PIN number with your hand at the ATM – or better yet, use a teller. Never use passwords on public wifi networks. Learn to use passcodes like your face, fingerprint, watch, or USB keys. 

Don’t do strangers favors: Lots of scammers take advantage of your good nature. They ask to use your credit card at the gas pump because they only have cash. They ask you to loan them money. They ask all sorts of things. The answer is no! While sometimes, they really are people in need: more often, they are scammers. Give to charities and social service agencies and call them when people are in need - if people approach you directly, be suspicious. 

If you have other strategies, send them to me and I will add them here (and credit you, if you are okay with that – I can also credit you with just a first name or initials). 

Here are a few articles to give you the flavor of what scammers are doing: 

“Lake Co. Resident Nearly Loses $20K In PayPal Scam”

“AARP sounding alarm on fraud, offering helpful resources to victims”

“10 Security Settings That Protect Your iPhone From Thieves”

“How to Avoid Pump Switching Scams at the Gas Station” 

“How to Protect Your Parents From Elder Fraud and Scams”

“How to Protect Your Finances From Identity Theft”

“This 'IRS Letter' Is a Scam”

“These Financial ‘Experts’ Got Scammed, so You Can Too (Really)”

UPDATE: 

Some dear friends replied and added the following:

Beware when the person texting you says they can’t or won’t answer a phone call from you because they are “driving”… it’s really because you would instantly recognize that they are not who you think you are texting. If you think about it, people who are driving would really prefer talking over texting as that would be safer!

Many scammers are from foreign countries and English is not their native language. Therefore, be aware that even the SLIGHTEST English grammar or syntax error should alert you that the person is a foreign scammer who has a high level but not perfect proficiency in speaking English.  Even a SINGLE WORD misused that would not be said that way by a native English speaker should be a huge red flag to you.

If a person asks you to pay for an item via Zelle be aware that, unlike a credit card payment, money sent by Zelle cannot be retracted or credited even if you later can verify it was sent to a scammer. Never use a phone number or email link sent by the person to make a Zelle payment, as your money is probably not going to the person you think it is.

If you are purchasing an item and the main message to you focuses on receiving the payment rather than the details of the item itself that should clue you into the fact that all they want is to get your money from you.

If you are communicating with someone via Facebook messenger and then switch to texting but they won’t talk out loud by phone call that’s a clue that they are trying to hide their true identity.

If the party refuses to take a check as payment and insists on using electronic payment via Zelle, Venmo, or PayPal that’s a clue that it’s a scammer, as the scammer wouldn’t be able to cash your check, especially if located in a foreign country,

If the person selling an item says you need to pay them because other people are also trying to buy the same item, be aware that it’s probably a lie and trick to make you pay sooner rather than later.

Try to buy items from established online retailers like Amazon, Wal-Mart, etc, and not from Facebook marketplace or unknown retailers.

If someone asks you to text back a Google phone code and you do they might create a Google Voice phone number that links to your phone, thus compromising your phone! 

Beware of scammers who say that they are checking that you are not the scammer! How ironic! 

Thank you to my friends for these strategies! 

Reading for Treasure: Israel and Gaza

There is so much news coverage about the current conflict in the Middle East. Over and over, I find that my heart is broken. I read an article, see video, and then I cannot take it anymore. I realize that only my distance gives me that privilege, so I face again the horror both in Israel and Gaza and the reverberations around the world. 

It is not a straightforward situation. I chaff against the use of words like “simple” or modified by “just,” or preceded by, “all that needs to…” as if this is a knot that any casual observer could easily untangle. I wish it were so. Who am I to tell people half a world away how to solve problems that are centuries old? 

One way I have found to deal with this situation with integrity is with a “both/and” approach: The Israelis suffered a horrible pogrom and their response to it is causing another horror. The Palestinians have been treated dreadfully and Hamas is not moving them in a good direction. The hostages must be freed and all of Gaza is hostage to Hamas. Some of the criticism against Israel is valid and some is antisemitic. 

I do not see this situation objectively. As an American Jew, I empathize with my Israeli family. Yet, as a Jew, I identify with the downtrodden and see Gaza as another ghetto. Both/And. 

So here are some articles from The Atlantic, a publication I have come to both trust and admire. I am not advertising their publication, rather it has become a mainstay of my reading and understanding of a variety of issues. These articles represent several perspectives and were written through this awful time of war. 

My wish for this season, as we head to Thanksgiving, is for peace for all of us, a return of those held hostage, and an opportunity for voices like the writers below to be heard. Please give them a read. 

“My Message of Peace”

“Even the Oppressed Have Obligations”

“Hamas Must Go”

“The Children of Gaza”

“When Anti-Zionism Is Anti-Semitic”

“America’s Most Dangerous Anti-Jewish Propagandist”

I am currently reading Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Reading for Treasure: Protecting Your Information and Privacy

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction.

Once again, here are some articles to keep you safe as you use your technology. Specifically, how to thwart being tracked or scammed by devices, websites, advertisers, and others. 

This video from CNN includes a password tip that is genius and I have never heard of before. I am not going to list it here, but listen for the word “salt” in the video: "Here's how to keep your passwords safe, according to a hacker.” 

Wired provided a simple and common sense list of “6 Things You Need to Do to Prevent Getting Hacked.” Read the article, but I’ll list them here: Use multifactor authentication, get a password manager, learn how to spot a phishing attack, update everything, encrypt everything, and wipe your digital footprint. If any of those terms are foreign to you, take it as a sign you need this article. 

A great compliment to the above article, Propublica’s article, “A Former Hacker’s Guide to Boosting Your Online Security.” provides a straight forward and simple list of ten things to preventing stolen data, identity theft, and other online hazards. Again, I’ll list them here, but read the article for more: stop reusing passwords, delete unused accounts, use multifactor authentication, manage your privacy settings, think before you click, keep your software up to date, limit what you’re sharing online, security your SIM, freeze your credit reports, and back up your data! 

Lifehacker is also a great source for digital safety. Here a short and simple article that lets you know “How to Tell Which Apps Can See Your Private iPhone Data.” It is an older article, but still worth reading. 

This somewhat scary article from The Conversation via Inverse is a good overview of how your use of technology may put your privacy at risk: “Here’s exactly how tech companies and apps conspire to track you 24/7.”

Yes, emails can snitch on you. Many emails report back to their senders if you opened them, when you opened them, and even for how long you engaged with them. Want to stop this? Read this article from Wired: “How to Tell Which Emails Quietly Track You.” If you use Apple devices, this Lifehacker article, “How to Stop Email Trackers on Your iPhone, iPad, and Mac” will help you with this issue and more. 

A new form of hacking is to use free USB charging stations. Apple Insider discusses, “What juicejacking and trustjacking are, and how to protect yourself.” The basic piece of advice here is, if your phone asks you “Do you trust this computer?” or “Allow this device to access.. and you are not connected to your home computer, say, NO! 

How many of us have lost our phones or have had our phones stolen?  We may feel safe because our phone is locked with a passcode, fingerprint, or our face. Lifehacker says, “Your iPhone Is Still Vulnerable When It Is Locked” and then helps you secure it! 

And it is worse than that: Lifehacker provides instructions on how to use screen time on the iPhone to prevent a stolen phone from becoming a stolen Apple account or worse: "How Screen Time Can Save You When Your iPhone is Stolen." 

I am currently reading The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu

Reading for Treasure: Guns, Again- and Again, and Again and Again

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

Why do I keep listing articles that deal with the problem of gun violence? Because we have yet to confront the issue fully and deal with the consequences. It is one of our greatest public health problems today. Most Americans are in favor of “common sense” gun laws, but somehow, we still lack sense of any kind when it comes to firearms. Some of these articles are a little old, but unfortunately just as timely as when they were published. What a sad statement that mass shootings are always a current event. 

Peter Bergen says we should ban assault weapons, pass and enforce red flag laws, and look at a concept he calls leakage in his CNN oped:  “Opinion: This is how we stem America’s mass shootings” 

Two pieces from The Atlantic are very much worth your attention. First, a look at the police’s inaction, at Uvalde : “Where Were The Police?” And then a wonderful portrait of how marketing and profit drive the American gun problem: “The Gun Industry Created a New Consumer. Now It’s Killing Us”

It is a sad statement to say that I got so much déjà vu reading this article from Medium that I searched to see if I had already included it in a Reading for Treasure list:  “Why is America the Only Country in the World With Regular School Shootings?”  

This article in The Grio shows us what we really didn’t need proof to believe. Gun violence hurts some of us more than others. “Allowing guns in public without permits could create increased risks for Black Americans, experts say”

This link is not an article, but a website that tracks gun violence in America. The Gun Violence Archive tracks gun deaths broken down by location, age of those killed, suicides, mass shootings, mass murders, and much more. The statistics are horrific. 

As of the publishing of this post, in 2023, there have been 

2097 gun deaths 

909 homicides

1188 suicides 

32 mass shootings

4 mass murders

56 defensive use deaths 

73 unintentional shootings

2 officer killed and 17 injured 

61 subject-suspects killed and 35 injured

41 children under 11 killed or injured

253 children under 12 to 17 killed or injured 

This must stop. We must make it stop. 

Two cases, one from Washington, D.C. reported in The Grio, and one from Newport News, Virginia from CNN. The headlines paint the picture clearly: 

“Man guns down 13-year-old boy he thought was car vandal; cops won’t release killer’s name”

“A 6-year-old shoots his teacher. Now what?”

Finally, some good news. The Daily Herald reports from my home state of Illinois which has banned assault weapons: “Pritzker signs state's new ban on high-powered weapons: The final details”

I am currently reading She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

COVID Peek-A-Boo: I Don’t See You!

Remember learning about a baby’s conception of object permanence? They are only aware of things when those things are in sight. Hide them, and to the baby, they no longer exist. It is a sign of developmental growth when an infant will search for an object that it can no longer see. 

I think many Americans lack COVID permanence. They believe that, if they can’t see COVID right now, it isn’t here. If they close their eyes and minds to the situation, the situation will magically conform to their version of reality. 

Tell it to the virus!

I am shocked by the number of people who are going about their lives as if there is no virus, as if the entire pandemic is over and they are free and clear. The numbers are going up. The flu is very much present and hospitals are full of people, mostly children, with RSV, another contagious virus. It would seem that additional precautions are more than warranted. 

Nope! Eyes closed! I don’t see it! It isn’t there. I’m just fine! 

I shouldn’t be surprised. This has been an issue since the beginning of the pandemic, 1000 days ago. Humans in general, but Americans in particular, are shockingly good at fooling themselves into believing what they want to believe, even when it is painfully clear that they are living in a fantasy. 

Who won the 2020 election? Depends on if you subscribe to the real world or not. What must be done to combat climate change? Nothing if your head is buried in the sand while your behind is blowing in a hurricane! Racism? Playing the victim should be a new board game! Shall I go on? 

Some areas in the United States are moving indoors now. It has been more than a month since anyone could even entertain the thought of dining outdoors where I live. Thanksgiving events served more than turkey and stuffing. Families do what all families do: whatever they get, they share – and then they share it with the folks in the bus, plane, mall, and elevator! Tis the season of giving everyone the virus! 

In the areas of the United States where outdoor dining is still possible, the denial is so strong that their hospitals are shipping sick folks to colder places! People don’t want their so-called freedoms restrained, but are more than willing to use those freedoms to sicken their neighbors. 

And your conspiracy folks? They have moved into peek-a-boo eyes closed land. They know, somewhere not so deep down, that these fictions are just that. This is why any attempt to question or examine them leads down a never-ending spiral of evidence-free hypothetical speculation. They have fallen in love with object impermanence and will fight for their freedom to live in fantasyland. 

While that might have been okay in the past, now too many people’s refusal to grow up, put on big people’s pants, and address the problems facing all of us has become another one of the problems facing all of us. COVID, climate change, racism, election integrity, and so many other problems threaten all of us – but only some of us are actively working to address them. 

That part isn’t new. There have always been a small number of selfish and immature children who masquerade as adults - and now they are recruiting. They have decided that their game of peek-a-boo is a virtue, a right, and a fact. They are incensed over anyone’s attempts to acknowledge reality and protect all of us, seek justice, or save ourselves and our planet. 

But we see you! COVID is still here. Climate change is humanity’s greatest threat, and the movement toward a more equitable and just society is unstoppable. You can pretend otherwise, but that is all it is –make-believe. 

Reality doesn’t bend to your belief or acceptance. Reality doesn’t care about your freedoms or rights. Reality doesn’t play peek-a-boo. 

And reality is coming for you! 

Reading For Treasure: Education Issues

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

Earlier this month, I spent two days back at school working with teachers and librarians and talking to kids about books. It was wonderful, rejuvenating, and exhausting! One of the reasons I started this list of articles was I didn’t want to keep sending my not-yet-retired colleagues articles that I thought they would find interesting or useful. So I post them here instead. My mind is on all the different aspects of education: grading, social and emotional health, classroom practices, athletics, safety, and many other topics. Since my list is long this month, I am limiting myself to a very short description of each article.  

First, some articles that focus on teaching and the teacher experience: 

“I No Longer Grade My Students’ Work — And I Wish I Had Stopped Sooner” in Blavity. “I’ve been teaching college English for more than 30 years. Four years ago, I stopped putting grades on written work, and it has transformed my teaching and my students’ learning. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.” 

“The Case Against Zeros in Grading” in Edutopia. I am shocked that some teachers still need to hear this argument. This article and the accompanying video make it clear: zeros demotivate students and count more than their successes! 

“Why So Many Teachers Are Leaving, and Why Others Stay” in Cult of Pedagogy.. Jennifer Gonzalez shares eight teachers’ stories: four who are leaving and four who are not. These are critically important voices that need to be heard.  

“Stress, Hypervigilance, and Decision Fatigue: Teaching During Omicron And, no, “self care” isn’t the answer” in Education Week. Katy Faber paints a vivid picture of what it is like to teach during this difficult time in America. 

"Why is America the Only Country in the World With Regular School Shootings?" in Eudaimonia and Co via Medium. Umair Haque has gone to school all over the world and shares how American schools are horribly unique. The issues we are having are not functions of adolescent development but of American culture. 

"Pandemic Shadow Syllabus" in Sonya Hubor's blog. This is a short and wonderful teacher struggling with the pandemic point of view piece. Teachers – if you read only one of these, let it be this one. 

A few articles that deal with education’s social context: 

“Young people need power.' Southern students on safety, accountability, and what they need from adults” in Scalawag.  This is a series of statements from young people about what it is like to be in school now. Read what the kids say about their experiences! 

"Is Your Child Too Popular for Their Own Good?" in Lifehaker. While some parents are clueless and others are ruthless, there are many kinds of popular in school and this article explores what some studies say about how popularity in middle and high school translates into adulthood. 

“OP-ED: When It Comes To Book Bans, America Could Learn From Apartheid South Africa” in NewsOne. The comparison is eerie and frightening – and right on the money: book challenges in America today are frighteningly similar to those in South Africa during Apartheid. 

Two pieces that focus on equity in college admissions from The Atlantic: 

"College Admissions Are Still Unfair" Colleges are eliminating legacy admissions, but this will not make things much better. At Amherst, there is a greater percentage of white athletes than in the general student body – and many play sports like crew and squash. Sounds like white affirmative action to me. 

"Colleges Can Fix the Broken Admissions Process They Created" This is a great list of ways colleges could improve the admission process to benefit everyone! 

Two very different focuses on kids and youth sports: 

“Do youth sports really build character? What kids gain from sports depends on adults”  in KQED Mindshift. The benefits of sports participation for kids are entirely dependent on coaches and contexts. This article spells out clearly the nature of adult’s influence, for better or worse, on children. 

“Guys, I Swear I’m Only Transitioning So I Can Cheat at Girls’ Sports” in McSweeny's. This older McSweeny’s satire makes the point well: the controversy over trans students in sports is an invented issue that fans the flames of hate at the expense of kids who really need to be part of the team!  

I am currently reading House of Suns by Alastair Reynolds 

Reading For Treasure: Gun Terrorism

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

Guns and their extremist worshippers are terrorizing our country. There are shootings so often that this entry will be out of date the moment it is posted. We have no regulated militia or anything when it comes to firearms of all types: hunting rifles and automatic weapons designed to rip people to shreds. It is far past the time that the majority of Americans who support common sense gun legislation insist that our lawmakers make our schools, malls, movie theaters, churches, synagogues, and communities safe from the terrorists who insist that their right to kill trumps everyone else’s right to life. Here is a selection of articles exploring this issue. 

While Uvalde and Highland Park have proven that the “good guy with a gun” will not stop loss of life from gun terrorists, there is another issue with school resource officers: they may make some students feel less safe and be more likely to arrested. The AP in The Grio’s article, “No. Placing more officers in schools will not make Black students feel safer in the wake of mass shootings” provides this perspective. 

Even though a "good guy with a gun" shot the terrorist in Indiana, this opinion piece from The Grio makes it clear that, "An Armed Bystander Is Not Your Savior."

The Highland Park, Uvalde, and Buffalo shooters acquired their guns legally! The New York Amsterdam News lists how the shooters from 22 recent acts of gun terrorism got their weapons: “22 mass shootings. 374 dead. Here’s where the guns came from” 

I love this idea even if I am skeptical that it would work. However, Gal Beckerman acknowledges all of this in his article “Students Should Refuse to Go Back to School” in The Atlantic. Could we mobilize in the next few months? 

Get ready to be frustrated by this second article from The Atlantic. In, “The Real Reason America Doesn’t Have Gun Control,” author Ronald Brownstein shows how a minority has “veto over national policy.” 

Scalawag Magazine shares powerful Southern student voices about guns, fear, and the need for student power: “'Young people need power.' Southern students on safety, school, and accountability.” 

Peter Bergen lays the case out succinctly and clearly in his article in CNN: “Opinion: This is how we stem America's mass shootings” 

Finally, arming teachers in school is so dangerous that only satire can do it justice. Read this school memo from McSweeny’s. I don’t want to tell you more, just read it: “Regarding the Recently Passed ‘Arm the Teachers” Bill.” 

I am currently reading Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki and I love it! It is wonderful! If you are looking for a delightful and delicious book, read it and then talk to me about it! 

Where are the Guardian Angels?

The shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas is overwhelming. Each time I think about the horrible events of May 24, I find it is so painful that I need to deflect to something else, anything else. The thought of that kind of loss is nearly too difficult to imagine.  

I was teaching the day that Laurie Dann walked into Hubbard Woods Elementary School in Winnetka and began shooting. My school moved to “red alert,” which was designed to prevent senior pranks, when it was reported that the shooter was headed northwest. My school is only a few miles northwest of Hubbard Woods. This was more than thirty years ago. 

There are no words to console a grieving parent or partner. There is no pain I can imagine worse than the death of a child. It is so hideous and powerful and painful. Why must parents keep experiencing loss because of school shootings? 

What is wrong with us that we refuse to protect our children sitting in their classrooms? What is wrong with us that we argue about the rights of children not yet born, but we refuse to protect fourth graders? How can people rush to protect gun rights at the cost of children’s lives?  Anyone who has worked in education knows that putting more guns in school will not address this problem. It is a false fantasy solution that ignores everything we know about these situations. 

Even the National Rifle Association prohibits guns at its convention! Arming teachers will work, but having a convention full of gun owners won’t? I don’t understand. 

Let’s start a new organization: No Retro Abortions. This organization would advocate that we ban abortions beyond the 15-week or 3-month or the latest of late-term timelines and argue that even abortions that take place after birth should be forbidden. The organization could be called by its initials: N.R.A. 

Recently, I read a short story called, “Mr. Death” by Alix Harrow. The story is nominated for the prestigious Hugo award, and.I read the nominees every year so I vote for the winners. 

This fantasy story follows a relatively new “reaper” who ferries souls across the river of death. He is given assignments and then sits with the person as they die and accompanies them to the other side. However, as the story opens, he is given a horrible assignment: a child of only 30 month: a two year old. 

Our focal character has deep misgivings and does his best to rationalize and justify the child’s death. But he can’t. He lost his own child and has experienced this kind of pain first hand. As the story proceeds, he moves from giving the child a little extra time to being unable to complete his assignment. He refuses to complete the assignment even though it will mean much more than losing his job, it will probably mean he will be consigned to oblivion. 

If you are going to read the story, this is the place to stop reading. I am about to spoil it. Read the story and come back or skip to the paragraph beginning, “Lovers of life…” 

Here is the connection: when our reaper refuses to take the child and is willing to sacrifice everything, he is surprised to find that he is transformed. He is no longer a reaper and instead, he is a guardian. He stands beside the child as a  protector. 

Lovers of life, pro-choice, pro-life, we need guardians now. Our children need us all to become angels who protect them: in their classrooms, churches, synagogues, movie theaters, and homes. Not with more instruments of death, but with thoughtful and rational laws and rules. Other countries do this; we can do this. 

Can we transform from partners of death to protectors of life? The Supreme Court will soon rule about how the unborn should be protected. What about the newly born? What about the fourth graders? What about our children and grandchildren? 

Thou shall not murder. Put down your weapon and accept your wings. Protect the children. Please. 

Good Riddence to the 2021-2022 School Year

I dreamed last night that I was visiting my old school on the last day of the year. I dreamed that I was going through offices and classrooms, wishing people well, and meeting new staff members. We joked and hugged and laughed and were all dressed in Halloween costumes. I dreamed that things were just as I left them, but different and better.

But that isn’t the school at which my friends and former co-workers teach. That isn’t the reality of education at the end of the 2021-2022 school year. That was my dream (really), but the truth is that my friends are survivors of a disaster. They end this year with anxiety, anger, frustration, grief, pain, and lots of tears. 

And it shouldn’t be this way. 

Teachers, Counselors, and other school staff are asked to carry it all. They are simultaneously hailed as heroes who will save, protect, and sacrifice for their students with opportunities and weapons and love and knowledge, and then derided as groomers and political opportunists, lazy slackers, and self-serving conspiracy puppets. When it serves the sound bite, they are the saviors of society and when it fits the narrative, they are taking our children into an uncomfortable world of race, gender, and masks. 

And it is too much. 

My colleagues have been carrying the pandemic. Their mantra has been “We’ll make it work,” and “We do what’s best for kids.” They have been performing a high wire acrobatic juggling. Sometimes, their administrators and school boards, and communities have stood by their sides and provided a net. But just as often, those who should be their allies have turned on them and thrown them flaming torches and shaken the tent, threatening to bring the entire circus crashing to the ground in flames and flesh. 

And teachers are exhausted. 

So as the end of the school year approaches, as summer rounds the corner, kids are fidgeting in their seats, and classrooms start to smell of sweat and cut grass, as the looming grading deadlines feel like Kuber-Ross’s stages, let us bid a not so fond goodbye bye to this disaster of a school year. 

Of course, we wish you a relaxing and rejuvenating summer, time with your family, and time to yourself. We wish you health, which has been Sisyphean these past two years.

And we thank you. 

I am not sure I know how to do this. As a retired teacher who left just before the sky fell, I can only half imagine what these years have felt like. For the first time, I have heard several school friends say to me, "I hate working here." As a supporter on the side, I have seen the disrespect and destruction, heard the yelling, and unbelievable thoughtlessness. Alice had it far easier. I felt both guilty that it was you and relief that it wasn’t me and anguish it was happening. People say to me every day – every.single.day – that I “got out at the right time.” I wish you could join me. Right now. 

And we should be concerned that you will. 

Teachers are leaving in droves. They watch their friends and colleagues of decades marching toward the cliff’s edge and feel the pull of gravity. Wonderful, inspiring, passionate professionals are packing their classrooms for the last time right now. As the lockers slam and the sneakers squeak down the hall, they are crying with relief and shame. Accountants are not asked to kill themselves for taxes, but sometimes healthcare folks are. 

And our teachers. 

This is not an exaggeration. I have heard a call for a student strike in the fall. What if students said, “We aren’t going back to our classrooms until it we are safe from gun terrorists.” What if parents said that?  What if teachers, across this nation, said, we will not conduct another active shooter drill until lawmakers stop the senseless stream of school shootings! 

So hear me clearly. Hear it from a retired veteran teacher: Teachers, you have been outstanding. You have made critical differences in children’s lives. You have nurtured, challenged, enriched, advocated – and educated. You have fought the good fight – over and over and over and over. What you have done matters and will continue to matter, even if you are no longer doing it. 

And now it is your time. 

Some of you will return to the classroom in the fall. Some of you will retire. Some of you will watch the stream of buses and kids with backpacks and step out of the line. Some of you will place your own children at the front and focus there. 

And that is okay.

The last bell is ringing. It brings relief and intense sorrow. Set down the load. Rest. Hold yourself and your loved ones. You have been through a war and, although it is not over, we are hoping for a few months of cease-fire. Go to your bunker. Hug your people. Cry. Unload. Recover. 

And this summer – and all that comes after it – do what heals and helps you. 

Reading For Treasure: We Need to Keep Talking and Reading About Racism, Roe, CRT, and Hate

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction! 

The news overflows with horrible stories of racism, sexism, and other forms of hate. Here is a small selection of articles and videos to further your understanding of these critical issues. 

Imbolo Mbue writes in The Atlantic about the recent biography of George Floyd. Neither he nor the writers of the biography shy away from a nuanced and complex picture of Floyd – and that picture is also one of our America:  “The America that Killed George Floyd.” 

The overturning of Roe v. Wade puts several other rights in jeopardy. This article from Blavity outlines how this Supreme Court decision could open the door to eliminating other rights: “5 Other Rights That Could Be Struck Down If Roe V. Wade Is Overturned”

Alexis McGill is the president and CEO of Planned Parenthood. She writes in the New York Amsterdam News that “The end of Roe and what it would mean for the Black community.”

Two pieces that focus on Critical Race Theory: Lifehacker provides a clear piece on “What Critical Race Theory Actually Means (And What It Doesn’t).”

John Oliver discusses Critical Race Theory on this episode of Last Week Tonight.

How do we prevent white children from becoming white nationalists? My former colleague provides teachers, parents, counselors, and coaches with information about “Inoculating Our Students Against White Nationalism — Teaching While White.”

Finally, the Associated Press published this article, “Explainer: Theory of White Replacement Fuels Racist Attacks” which provides a background to the ideas that are motivating terrorist attacks by white nationalists. 

I am currently reading Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel.

Has It Really Been Only Two Years of COVID? It Feels Much Longer.

Part1: Time

For many years, I have made a family calendar as a Father’s Day gift with photos from the prior year. The calendar starts in July of the current year. Of course, some of the photos must be older than one year because I start putting the calendar together a few months early to get it ready and printed. March is that border. The photos are from one year old until April then they are two years old. 

As I turned the page on my calendar, the photos shocked me. This was no April fool joke. They were from the first month of the pandemic. I had a moment when I thought I messed up and included much older photos. I had the opposite of déjà vu is: I felt like the photos could not be only two years old. They felt ancient. 

I have written about the experience of having my adult-ish kids return home and leave – several times during the first year of the pandemic. I have written about my fears of COVID and working hard to get everyone to take precautions. But this was different. 

What struck me, as 2020 appeared on my calendar, was the power of doubt and distance. We are just returning to a kind of normal. I am still wearing a mask when I go to a store, which I am doing more often than I did in 2020, but still infrequently. Yet, there are people who act as if the whole horrible situation is over and gone. I hope they are right. 

I can’t say the second year of COVID moved quickly, but those photos from two years ago feel further from my present. Did this year feel like several years? It didn’t feel that slow while I was living it. I was busy and days flew by.  But now, as I glance backward, the reverse route seems to stretch back well beyond only two years. 

Part 2: Weight 

I don’t think the issue is just about my perception of time; it is also about the enormity of the past two years. There were many major milestones. If I had to carry them all, it would be more than I could handle. Maybe it is the emotional weight of the past two years, the anxiety, fear, relief, and hope – and that cycle repeating over and over. 

I remember riding a Superman roller coaster at a theme park many years ago. Instead of sitting in a seat, the riders were placed in a prone position, as if they were Superman flying. However, it didn’t feel that way. I felt like I was squatting on all fours and the only thing preventing me from dropping to a horrible death was the support under my belly. With roller coasters restraints that pushed me into a chair, I had the illusion I could hang on to something if the bar in front of me released. If this Superman tummy thing broke, my only hope was that I really could fly. I guess I’d fly for a few seconds. When the ride ended, all I felt was relief. 

I haven’t become accustomed to that lack of control, helplessness, and unpredictability. I carry them with me. My mask may come on and off, but I am always carrying the concern and worry (and the mask!). And when hope appears, I am suspicious and tentative. When nothing bad happens, I am grateful and relieved. 

Part 3: Balance

Right now, we are in a COVID sweet spot. People are behaving as if they believe this whole horrible two-year-long episode is over. I hope they are right, but I feel certain they are wrong. I want to take off my mask, but I am afraid of what might happen to the people I love. 

Predictability is one of the many causalities of this pandemic. Uncertainty has become a permanent resident. Every choice feels like placing a bet in a casino, without the fun thrill. 

Reading news of the world is horrifying. I give to charities and do what I can to assist, but it never seems like enough. I am frustrated by politics. I scream at the television and lament my fellow citizens’ clannishness. It is overwhelming. I face the issue and then, having looked at it, wish I could close my senses and retreat.

I am tempted to quote Dickens (and some of you know my deep relationship with the work I am about to reference), but I am so grateful that these past two years were not the worst of times – for me. They were for so many – and continue to be horrible! There were some moments that ironically felt like the best of times. My children were home, then they left. We were all together and could support each other - and then we were apart and on our own again.

Part 4: Now

It was two years ago that the world got sick. It has only become more so and in ever-increasingly complex ways. Denying what we have experienced feels disrespectful to all of those who have suffered. Selfishly focusing on my people will not protect them. I wish the pandemic were truly over. I will do what the public health folks tell me is best for our collective health, but I am painfully aware that this is a group project – and like these projects back in school, too many members of our group are not doing their fair share. The good may not balance out the bad. Our current health may not protect us against future illness. 

Yes, I must learn to cherish now – and consider how to help others while preparing for an uncertain future. But I should not sacrifice present joys to future anxieties and horrors. I can be grateful for my good fortune, help those who are struggling, and stay grounded in this positive potential. These past decades, I mean years, have taught me how agonizingly fragile the present might be. 

Reading For Treasure: Pick A College But Not Just Any College

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction! 

It’s that time of year again. High school seniors are being plagued (sorry) with the question, “What are you doing next year?” Here are some articles that might help them make those choices and prepare for next year. 

“Want to find an affordable college? There's a website for that” from NPR is a good overview of The College Scorecard website, which was just updated. It is an invaluable resource to any family sending a child to college. 

Also from NPR, “Georgetown study measures colleges' return on investment” describes a website that looks at how much college graduates earn and how different schools’ alumni perform after college. Oddly, the article does not provide you with the Georgetown study results – but I will! 

Although short and a little simple, “College and Alcohol: Sober in College (And Still Having Fun)” from yourteenmag.com is a good way to start the conversation about drinking in college. 

And while we are talking about drinking, let’s talk about sex. “At Northwestern, a Secret Society of Virgins” from the Chicago Tribune is a candid discussion about being a virgin at college. 

If there are issues, Consumer Reports addresses the question, “Will You Be Able to Help Your College-Age Child in a Medical Emergency?” It turns out that HIPAA privacy may make this challenging. This article lets you be prepared. 

From Grown and Flown, here is one parent’s experience when her son did have to go to the emergency room, “My College Freshman Went to The ER: What This Mom Learned.”

This is not my first blog post with a college focus. Here are a few posts from this blog that might come in handy as your child tries to decide what will come after high school: Avoiding mistakes and some good advice,  College Advice from Shakespeare (and me), Textbooks and Sex: A Reading List for College Students, Future College Students, and the People Who Love Them, College Readiness, and What does it mean to go to a “good school?” 

Finally, here is a powerfully candid piece from Slate that all students should read even more closely than they read (if they read) their actual college syllabuses, “My Fake College Syllabus” 

I am currently rereading This is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Preparing for COVID

While most of us have been and continue to do our best to prevent becoming ill with COVID-19, more and more of us are catching the disease, sometimes multiple times. Increasingly, we know many who have been exposed, infected, or currently are suffering from it. 

Protecting yourself and your family through social distancing, masking, and good hygiene is the first line of defense. We’ve been inundated with that message. But what happens when, despite your best efforts, COVID visits your home? 

Recently, my family discussed this issue. My daughter, who lives alone in a city far from the family, was concerned about getting COVID and being unable to leave her apartment. Fortunately, she works in public health. She created a list of supplies to have on hand before you or someone you love becomes infected; some of it more specific to COVID, but much of it familiar and generally applicable. With her permission (and collaboration), I am sharing that list and some suggestions here. 

Even if you are sick at home, you will still need the basics: toilet paper, paper towels, garbage bags, laundry supplies, soap, tissues, and other sundries. Make sure you have some extras. No need to hoard, but plan on being unable to get to the store for a week or two. My daughter added white distilled vinegar to this list because it has so many additional uses including things like cleaning your humidifier. You should also have bottled water, ice packs, batteries, and toothpaste for an extra week or two. Consider having a notebook handy so you can record your symptoms and the way you treat them. You may be surprised that you do not recall everything when you are sick or notice trends over time. 

Stock up on simple things like shelf-stable products (such as beans, pasta, peanut butter, and vegetables), broths, teas, and crackers. Consider some easy meals that can be prepared with little to no effort. Sports drinks and ginger ale can also be helpful, look for drinks that provide electrolytes (such as Pedialyte or Gatorade). Have an extra week's supply of shampoo, vitamins, and other products you rely on daily. 

Have plenty of basic at-home medical supplies like gloves, masks, hand sanitizers, and basic over-the-counter medicines (such as Pepto Bismal, Neosporin, aspirin, fever reducers, cough drops, cough suppressant, Vicks, nasal spray, etc.). A thermometer and perhaps an oximeter are good ideas, too. They aren’t worth much if their batteries are dead or you don’t know how to work them.  Of course, you should also have an extra supply of whatever prescriptions you regularly take. 

Testing is important, and if you feel crummy, stay home and treat your symptoms. Make a plan in advance for how you would test for COVID. Can you call your doctor? Can you get a home rapid test? Is there a safe drive-through testing site near you? Know when you should be using a rapid test or when a PCR is more appropriate. 

Make sure that your basic medical information is handy and portable in case you need to scoop it up or share it: have copies of your insurance cards, prescriptions, powers of attorney, and lists of doctors and medicines handy. It is great to have these on your phone, but have paper copies, too. Don’t forget your notebook! 

If there are members of your family who are infected and others who are not, masking at home is critically important. Everyone doesn’t respond to the virus the same way. It may be a minor annoyance to some and a serious health concern to others. Protect uninfected members of your household. Infected people should be isolated. If possible, they should have their own bedrooms and bathrooms and eat separately. If that is not possible, masks should be worn and areas cleaned and ventilated after their use. 

Test grocery delivery services before you are in desperate need. Find out if your pharmacy delivers. Which stores, restaurants, or other services offer no contact delivery? Don’t forget pet food! 

We don’t want to get COVID, and we certainly don’t want to give it to anyone else! But we have to acknowledge reality and prepare - nothing is inevitable. One size plan won’t fit everyone, so consider what is best for your situation and tailor the plan appropriately. Making a plan to safely stay at home while we recover is a critical piece of helping ourselves and protecting our community. 

Reading for Treasure: Dealing with the Unvaccinated

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction.

My most recent blog post makes the metaphor that the unvaccinated are pissing in a pool in which all of us are swimming. It laments the current stalemate between those who want a COVID-19 free world and those who simply won’t get the vaccine. Here are some articles that further explore this topic. 

The Atlantic’s “Vaccine Refusers Don’t Get to Dictate Terms Anymore” This opinion piece makes a strong case that the unvaccinated should have to pay the price for their choice,  “Americans are entitled to make their own decisions, but their employers, health insurers, and fellow citizens are not required to accommodate them.” The time has come for vaccination mandates by schools, employers, agencies, and others or financial penalties as well as testing for the unvaccinated.  

John Banzhaf, a professor emeritus from George Washington University, goes one step further, “Vaccinated workers, students, airline passengers and others who go out in public should not have to bear the risks and huge financial costs that the unvaccinated are imposing on society.” In his opinion column for CNN,  “Make the unvaccinated pay out for their deadly decisions,” he argues that, “Vaccine refusers should pay more for life and health insurance,” as well as  “If the unvaccinated want to get hotel rooms or board cruise ships or fly on airplanes, they should have to pay more to cover the additional costs of thoroughly cleaning and sanitizing the places they may infect. They should also be charged more because of the added burdens associated with requiring all airlines, bus and train passengers to be masked.” Basically, if you don’t want to get vaccinated, you need to pay for the additional costs you are creating! Yes! 

Inverse provides a specific and highly scientific answer to the question, “How Immune Are You After Having COVID-19? Why You Still Need a Vaccine” The common sense answer is to get vaccinated no matter what. Doubt that. Read this! 

Here's an update to my blog post: CNN is reporting that, "New analysis estimates $5.7 billion price tag for treating unvaccinated Covid-19 patients in the last 3 months." That is a lot of money helping people, many of whom could have been vaccinated! 

Finally, a little hope from an older article from The Atlantic. In, “One Vaccine to Rule Them All,”  Dr. James Hamlin describes research to create a universal vaccine. May this research be successful! 

I am currently reading A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine 

Pissing in the Pool: The Broken Social Contract

Recently, a doctor in Alabama stated he would not treat unvaccinated people. It was simply too painful to watch them die. Many of these people, says another doctor, ask for the vaccine as they are being put on the ventilator. 

It is appropriate to feel sorry for people who have made poor decisions like this. Certainly, there are people who, due to medical conditions or circumstances beyond their control, cannot get the vaccine. But what about the willfully and proudly unvaccinated? What about those who could and should be vaccinated, but won’t? 

What happens when people who have been hateful, hurtful, and horrible need help and those of us who have taken proper precautions pay the price of their poor choices? What is our obligation to the unvaccinated, unmasked, Clorox and Ivermectin taking folks? What happens when some people, who place their own desires, feelings, and “rights,” above the wellbeing of the entire community, fill hospitals to capacity so that there isn't even room for children with cancer?  Should we rush to Texas’s and Florida’s aid even if they are outlawing the very actions that would make their situation better?  

The idea of a social contract is  “(a)n implicit agreement among the members of a society to cooperate for social benefits, for example by sacrificing some individual freedom for state protection.” While you may never need the fire department, you pay taxes to have one because it helps the community as a whole – and if someday you should need it, it will be there for you. We all get this idea – or do we? 

“But I don’t trust the government,” someone replies. “It is my right not to wear a mask,” cries another. “You can’t make me get the vaccine,” says the third. Yet, people who have these views are treated in our hospitals like any other. Their children are going to school and potentially spreading COVID. They are making it impossible for children or teachers who are immunocompromised to return to school at all. 

At this point, arguing with them doesn’t seem like it is working. While loving responses and listening and acknowledging their fears may be a way to reach them, that does not address the current preventable crisis. And can that be scaled up to address all of them? They have made their choice clear: their individual choice (which they see as rights) are more important than the social good. Me first, us last. 

Last year, the folks making these claims said that COVID deaths were an acceptable cost for reopening businesses and that we should “sacrifice the weak.” More recently, a woman at a Trump rally compared this situation to “separating the sheep from the goats” which is a reference to a parable from the Gospel of Matthew. Ironically, the sheep are saved and the goats are lost. The unvaccinated woman identified herself correctly as a goat. 

Yet, we are paying for and cleaning up their messes – and it is quite expensive! We are spending billions of dollars to treat unvaccinated people and their choices may mean higher insurance premiums for all of us. Should we endorse their logic and put these goats out to pasture?  

We are an interdependent society; our choices significantly affect far more people than ourselves. We are not living in isolation. Regardless of whether you accept the social contract, we are still all swimming in the same pool.  

Why withhold help from those who need it? Why persist in holding a grudge against unfortunate and misinformed people? What good comes out of hurting those already in pain? Is the suffering of COVID a reasonable consequence for being arrogant and super selfish? 

I don’t think hospitals will stop treating willfully unvaccinated people. It is unlikely that large numbers of doctors will refuse to treat them. But there is an exodus of healthcare professionals leaving the field, and that will affect everyone. 

Here’s the issue: Should the willfully unvaccinated get care despite their disregard for the chaos they create or do we back off and let them suffer the consequences of their choices, even though that, too, could be deadly. 

If you run a red light, you get a ticket. If you leave your child in a hot car, that’s child abuse. If you drive under the influence…There are consequences when people flagrantly break the social contract. Defying mask mandates is against the law and prohibiting them is certainly a breach of contract. What about vaccination? 

It’s a lose-lose scenario if there ever was one. Thanks, assholes. 

Are We Still In Danger?

I am wearing a watch again. I haven’t worn my watch since the middle of February last year when it stopped working. Sometime in the fall of 2021, I got it fixed. I still didn’t wear it. 

I always carried a pen in my pocket. Since I was a high school English teacher, I was constantly writing. I continued this habit into retirement, but like the watch, I didn’t wear it when I no longer left the house. 

Since my second vaccine shot, I have adopted both habits again. Part of the reason is practical: I am going out more. I would prefer my own pen when I sign something. My Sunday school class moved from Zoom to meeting distantly in a park and checking my watch was far better than looking at my phone. 

But it is more than that. After fifteen months, I got a haircut. I went into a grocery store for the first time. I am starting to do things I did before COVID, albeit with much more trepidation and anxiety.  

Recently, when traveling to a nearby city to move my son, my family and I ate inside a restaurant. I felt anxious despite the fact that our table was far from all but one other table and there was a Plexiglas barrier separating us. I felt like I was doing something dangerous. 

Later, standing in line in a grocery store, I stood behind two older women whose masks were well below their noses. People were not distant, but our carts were almost six feet, right? I let them move ahead and tried to leave lots of space between us, which is difficult to do in a busy supermarket. 

On the drive home, after I filled up the car, I went into the gas station minimart and used the bathroom. I wore my KN95 mask as I rushed in and, as I was hurrying through my business, I thought, “I am not in danger here.” I slowed down. 

The mindset that going out could endanger my health and the wellbeing of those I love is overpowering. My worry about the welfare of my family whom I don’t see daily has been one of the greatest stressors of the pandemic. After my parents received their vaccination, my anxiety decreased significantly, especially when we learned it was safe to be inside with them! When my children, my wife, and I were vaccinated, I was surprised that my worries didn’t decrease as much as I thought they would. 

I want to let go of the heavy worries now that my entire family is vaccinated, but the habit has become well ingrained. I am concerned that we, as a country, are not yet ready to drop the precautions. I foresee more issues ahead. Is it too soon to let my guard down? Is that my anxiety speaking or am I just being prudent? Are we in danger here? 

I am not sure. The pandemic is not over simply because I have more freedom of movement. There are significant challenges here and abroad that could bring us right back to lockdown. 

But I am wearing a watch and pen again. Now, the CDC says I do not need to wear a mask much of the time and I am struggling with that. When I go into a building, I still wear a mask and I try to be quick. I am leery and timid at the same time I am excited and relieved. 

What will it take for the pandemic to feel over? What needs to happen so that I feel confident enough to take off the mask and linger in front of the card section at the store? After more than a year of sheltering, when will I feel like I no longer need to take special precautions? 

Not yet. 

We Are The Children’s Vaccine: Get Vaccinated!

While almost all people over the age of sixteen are eligible to get the COVID-19 vaccine for free, children will have to wait for safety studies to be completed. It is expected that the Pfizer vaccine may be approved for kids as young as twelve in the next month or two – or three or more. 

But what about the little ones? When will they be protected? The truth is we don’t know and it may not be soon. Some children have had significant complications from COVID and we are still figuring out how the variants might affect them.  How do we protect this vulnerable and precious population? 

The answer is that we bring down the infection rate by being vaccinated. We are their vaccine. 

Why should that matter to you? First, because you are a good person who wants to take care of those who are unable to protect themselves. Second, because it will help all of us get our world back to normal. Think of it this way: if kids are spreading COVID, which it appears is the case in the post-vaccination world, then keeping schools functioning is in danger. Should schools close, much of our economy closes, too. Your job and the people with whom you work might be significantly affected. Do you want to go back to the dark winter inside? 

Another reason to get vaccinated is to fight against variants of the virus. There are several mutant versions of COVID-19 and some of them appear to now be the dominant strain. These versions are far more contagious and can cause more harm – even to younger people. The more of us who are vaccinated, the less opportunity for this kind of mutation and the less chance one of these variants will attack the population that is least protected: children! 

Are you worried about side effects? The odds and consequences of NOT getting the vaccine are far more severe both to you and to the community than the issues associated with any vaccine. While there may be a very small group who are super sensitive to vaccines, most of us will have a sore arm and perhaps a day or two of mild discomfort. That’s preferable to a stay in the hospital and an appointment with a ventilator - and a small price to pay for the child next door, your co-worker’s kids, or grandkids and to fight against a bigger and badder bug being bred because people won’t get vaccinated. 

One of my favorite articles about the flu vaccine has a harsh headline: “Hey Asshole, the Flu Shot Isn’t About You.” The main gist of the article is that you, “’…get immunized to protect those who can’t protect themselves.’”

The article emphasizes the number of people who die each year from the flu. Similarly,  by getting vaccinated against COVID-19, you are helping to protect those who cannot yet be vaccinated! You are doing your part to reduce the chance that COVID will come knocking on your door, their door, or to someone you love. 

Getting an appointment to be vaccinated is increasingly more convenient. Many places are taking walk-ins. Call your public health department. Call your town, city, or village. You don’t need a computer to make an appointment; you just need the desire to protect yourself and the people around you. Questions? Not so sure? Call your doctor. Your doctor knows you and will be able to address your concerns. 

Getting the vaccine is like sharing your umbrella. It is a way to help the kids in your community, your friend’s children and grandchildren, and those who are not able to get the vaccine. The price is minimal and the payoff is priceless. Everyone benefits from your good deed. 

Go get vaccinated – now! 

Reading for Treasure: April

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

This photo essay is a celebration of so many good things! The New York Times headline doesn’t begin to describe the celebration of this wonderful piece: “Asian and Asian-American Photographers Show What Love Looks Like.” 

Why are COVID numbers going up when more and more people are being vaccinated? The Atlantic explores the ramifications of acting like one is vaccinated when one is not. The article, “Vaccine Cheat Days Are Adding Up” is a quick exploration of why we need to “‘Just hold on a little longer.’”

The title of my blog should make it clear that I am a huge Mr. Rogers fan. This wonderful little article from The Washington Post defies expectations when the author tells us about, “What happened when I showed vintage Mister Rogers to my 21st-century kids.” It reinforces our continuing need for all the wonderful qualities of Fred Rogers. 

Nonprofit Quarterly published a piece that was originally published on the author, Dax-Devlon Ross’s blog.   “A Letter to My White Male Friends of a Certain Age” asks us to think not only about how racism hurts us, as White people, but to engage with Blackness and step up and really fight it. It is a nuanced and detailed letter that I strongly recommend you read. 

Chicago Tribune reports that “the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement this week affirming its commitment to protecting the health and well-being of LGBTQ young people and condemning legislation that does the opposite.” Specifically, the AAP opposes recent anti-trans legislation:  “Stop targeting transgender kids in youth sports, says American Academy of Pediatrics. Bravo.” 

Parenting never stops. No matter how old you are or your children’s stage of life, parenting is a lifetime commitment. As most (I really want to say all) teachers will tell you, some parents are far too involved in their children’s activities. When we rob our children of their independence and agency, especially for our own well-being, we stunt their development – at any age. This article from Fatherly, presents “7 Signs You're a Codependent Parent — And What to Do About It.”  

Finally, some good simple advice from Lifehacker; I never thought about the color of my child’s swimsuit or how it might help with their water safety. This article provides some simple commonsense recommendations: “Look at These Safety Color Charts Before You Buy Your Kids' Next Swimsuit”

I am currently reading Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

The Year Concludes: Looking Back at 2020 - Part 4

November started without the kids. This had been my life when I retired, but in March my son came home, then my daughter and her puppy in May. They stayed for more than 100 days and then left together for D.C. 

My children’s phone calls were a mainstay of my day. The boomerang of a full house turning empty wasn’t working for me. I love being with my children. I love being together – and that puppy is joyful! I missed them. 

My son was could look for a job anywhere. He was networking, taking seminars, and doing interviewing – and helping his sister. It was delightful that my children got along so well that they could live together –without their parents- for long stretches of time. I was overjoyed. I just wanted to be overjoyed together. 

At home, things continued as they had for months. I kept walking – just without a dog. I walked with my wife daily and usually took a second walk listening to podcasts. 

Since we were home all the time, the house was showing the strain: the front deadbolt wasn’t turning, the dishwasher died, the light switch in the bathroom cracked, we could no longer use the kids’ shower. 

We were reminded constantly of our fragility by the ever-rising COVID numbers and the parade of passings. It felt like condolences were one of the few things we had in plenty. 

Although the election was at the beginning of November, the discussion about the results dragged on. There were constant cries of fraud without any evidence. I worried that those trying to create alternative election results would bend reality. 

My Sunday Confirmation Class was a port in this storm. My co-teacher and I had challenging conversations with our students about everything that was going on. The kids were eager to wrestle with issues, values, ideas, and especially politics. We had a guest speaker and began to take virtual field trips. 

Thanksgiving was stressful. The kids planned to return and everyone would quarantine and test. The kids isolated in DC, we did the same in Deerfield, and my folks stayed in their home, but everyone had exceptions: doctor appointments, errands of mercy, physical therapy. Beyond the usual Thanksgiving stress, we worried about testing and contagion. 

Since it was just the two of us at home, cleaning the basement moved quickly. I finally got a call from the Illinois Department of Employment Security and filed a police report, contacted the Social Security Administration, the IRS, and changed all of my passwords. It was work to ensure the fraudsters did not gain access to my digital life. 

The election was often a focus. I watched What the Constitution Means To Me. Yet, the controversy dragged on. The president would not concede despite the clear evidence he had lost. It felt like a losing team refusing to shake the winners’ hands at the end of a game. 

We had our last Loyola classes. Our teacher was in Hawaii! We learned with this group for a year and a half, so it was sad to end on Zoom. We are hoping for a reunion when it is safe. I stayed connected to the activities and people at Deerfield High School. I saw a beautiful online choral festival concert, a discussion of the fall play, and a spectacular video holiday extravaganza. 

I was extremely anxious about a dental cleaning. I have rarely been so nervous about anything. Increasingly, I worried that even having six of us together for Thanksgiving was too dangerous. We saw friends on Zoom or FaceTime since the temperatures dropped. 

Friends of many years picked up and moved to Michigan. We attended an online library program with Ibrim Kendi. I sent the woman who cuts my hair a check since I was not going to her shop. I worked hard to stay in touch with friends, family, former colleagues, and others. 

The house was quiet, calm, and very clean, but we were eager for the kids’ return They shipped stuff ahead. Days before they got on the road, my son’s computer died. We talked about backing up and data recovery. 

Daylight saving time gave us a nice extra hour of sleep. We changed all the batteries in the smoke detectors and things were beeping for a week! My wife was feeling much more like herself and we took longer walks despite the cold. 

Finally, the kids returned. I wore a mask when I picked up my rental car and didn’t realize it was a smoking car. It smelled horrible. It was only a few hours to South Bend. It was incredible to have everyone together again. 

Two former students reconnected out of nowhere: surprise blessings. My Confirmation class took a virtual field trip to the Unitarian Church and still wanted to talk about politics. I continued my book clubs, played games with the kids in the evening, and got way too excited about virtual backgrounds on Zoom. 

We had a family discussion via Zoom about Thanksgiving. We defined what were and were not acceptable risks. My son and I were tested at our doctor’s office. My wife and daughter waited in a five-hour line at the Department of Health and their results didn’t arrive until days after Thanksgiving! My folks were tested, too. Great to be negative! 

We slipped into the old routine made new by the weather. Walking the dog was now a colder endeavor, but just as joyous. My son started interviewing for jobs and was getting second, third, and fourth interviews! I organized our annual meeting for our homeowners association. We picked up food from restaurants in Evanston and walked around town. The dog had his own playdates. 

I found a way to let my folks see Zoom calls on their large TV instead of just on their computers, but I couldn’t do it distantly. As Thanksgiving approached, my anxiety grew. Planning the Thanksgiving menu was complicated. We put ingredients on our Instacart orders, got things online, and did our best to prepare distantly. 

I watched Star Trek: Voyager during my morning workouts and Star Trek: Discovery as it was released. These shows were so comforting as the world became increasingly frightening. 

Thanksgiving arrived! My daughter cooked and we assisted. We awkwardly wore masks when we were not eating. It was wonderful to be together. We hadn’t shared a meal this way in months. While we were anxious about COVID, being together was happy and healing. The next day, I went to my parents’ house and fixed all their tech issues. 

In addition to her regular job, my daughter organized a conference on teleheath with her health policy society. The kids and I played Settlers of Catan in the evenings. I continued to tutor, teach Sunday school, and go to online events. I arranged for another distant field trip with a church in Chicago and a Buddhist temple in Michigan. 

My daughter cooked and baked and everything was delicious! I washed lots of dishes! My son’s new computer arrived and he vowed to back up more often. We had another Zoom call with the DHS retirees and created a retiree directory. The dog needed a vet visit for tummy issues. 

For Hanukah, we got my parents virtual tickets to see some music shows. On the first night of Hanukah, all of us visited the Botanic Gardens for a light show. It was great to be together, distantly and outdoors. My wife could now walk through the displays without pain. 

The weather varied from quite cold to warm enough to eat outdoors. My daughter took some time off. We made it vacation-like by ordering in brunch and bringing in a few more dinners. Friends dropped off cookies and latkes, which were special and sweet. We sent notes, gifts, and thank yous. We drove through a neighborhood in Chicago famous for Christmas light decorations. 

Holiday food flooded the fridge. The dog preferred the TV remote. My wife organized a gift drive through the congregation. We had a mountain of presents in our yard! The kids watched West Wing. 

My son signed up for webinars, seminars, and classes as he interviewed for jobs. He made lists of things for an apartment. We hiked in the woods, learned to play Ticket to Ride, and dressed warmly. Our daughter made plans to go back to DC in January. The new dishwasher finally arrived! I started planning the congregation’s twentieth anniversary instead of washing dishes. 

The weather was still in the 20s and sometimes up into the 50s at the end of December, so we met my parents for outdoor walks. We thought that meant winter would be mild; we were wrong! My wife took the family to Rogers Park for a tour of her old neighborhood and stories of her childhood. One the way home, we went through Skokie past my childhood home.

We were Zooming for everything: conversations with friends, Shabbat services, funerals, shivas, and even another reunion of my college science fiction club! I helped a congregation in Michigan discuss renaming. We traveled further from home to try new restaurants. The kids put my daughter’s game console on our TV and played video games together. My wife bonded with the dog by feeding him salmon. My daughter helped her brother with his resume. 

Healthcare folks were getting the vaccine, but I was still very anxious. The COVID numbers were up and yet we saw photos of people traveling. How could they do that? We sent money to our snowplow service because there hadn’t been any snow– until December 29th. 

I was walking the dog when it started snowing. The dog loved it! He kept going outside to catch snowflakes and roll! Snow became a mainstay of his diet. 

My daughter’s work did not let up. Holidays or not, she worked ten-hour days or longer. It was good she was home and we could help her make all the pieces fit. 

As 2020 ended, we were together. I tried not to think about how soon we would be separated. The year ended unceremoniously, but we were healthy, happy, and home.