Twenty Years Ago: January 2004

I was surprised by all the ways that January 2004 was similar to January 2024. It was quite different, of course, but the similarities showed how things had not changed. While this reflection on twenty years ago has been a wide-eyed tour of the past, it also shows how my present is still connected to that long ago time. 

I laughed when I described our return from vacation as, “mildly overwhelming” because I was feeling the same thing after I got off the plane with my twenty-something children and my aging eighty-something parents. 

Similarly, the entire family spent a few days, “bubble headed” then and now. We got home and everyone went to sleep, even though it was 7am. Some of us took longer to get back on Central Time – the same someones as twenty years ago. 

We arrived home exhausted and, as I went to bed, “I was so tired last night that when I tried to read, the book kept slipping from my hands.” I had napped earlier but it didn’t matter at all. We were pooped! 

Twenty years ago, my daughter got a stomach bug as we got home from vacation. The same thing happened this year. However, this year, she had to suffer on a plane back to D.C! I felt guilty that I could not nurse her the way I did in 2004. 

Fortunately, unlike 2004, none of the rest of us caught that bug. In 2004, it went through the house like that nauseating montage in the movie version of The Secret Life of Dentists. In 2004, we also shared colds; not doing that this year.  

I laughed out loud when I referred to, “The ladies of the morning;” my mother, my wife’s sister, and my wife’s aunt, who would always call us before 8am. While that no longer happens, my wife and daughter have a morning call routine now. 

As it was in 2004, I returned home and I almost immediately planned the next trip. Then it was a spring break visiting my cousin in Florida back then, this year, it is little jaunts, local science fiction conventions, and a February escape. We no longer celebrate spring break. 

January remains a month of dental visits for most of us. While we no longer have a dog, my daughter’s dog had his dental visit, too. He is in much better health than our elderly ailing dog was in 2004. I was considering doggie diapers, the insulin was so ineffective. 

When my parents moved recently, I found a disc with old photos. My father took photos of the house in 2004 for insurance purposes. Most of the house looked pretty much as it did before they moved. 

That is where the similarities end. In 2004, we had some significant snowfalls, the water main broke and we had no water for a while. The furnace’s pilot light went out and we spent a very cold evening before we figured out the issue. We saw The Lion King with the folks and the kids. It was a little much for our younger child. 

As I have written about in the past, our school moved finals before winter break a few years ago. In 2004, we had two weeks of class then finals, and then the start of the new semester. That makes things more stressful. I do not miss all that grading! I would sit in my younger child’s room and try to get on the school network since the school was just over the fence. Sometimes it worked. 

I often told the story that my parents complained that their grandchildren always used “please” and “thank you” with them. I didn’t know my reply was exactly twenty years old, “At dinner, when my father made his please-thank you comment, I informed him that we were making a special rule just for him. Where the kids normally said, “please,” they would instead say, “now” or “darn it” and instead of “thank you,” they would say “finally” or “it’s about time.”

My daughter made the school spelling bee. I really don’t like spelling bees.  I rehearsed and then officiated a bat mitzvah since our congregation had not yet hired a rabbi. Like this year, the end of the month brought snow and brutal cold. 

Finally, “I was awakened at 1:55am by a  phone call telling me that the folks alarm had gone off and should they send the police? At that time of night, I thought it best to have the police go look around. However, if the problem was something inside, a burst pipe or other problem, they wouldn’t see it. I needed to go to the house. So I got dressed, bundled up and off I went.” Fortunately, that situation has not happened often. My parents just moved out of that house and now live only ten minutes north of me. 

If you ask me what were the highlights (or lowlights) of January (or February) of 2004, I probably could not have provided many specifics. When I read my old journals, it come back powerfully. Things have changed so much, mostly for the better, but I miss when my kids were little and my parents were younger. I do not miss the frenetic and stressful life we lived in 2004. 

Twenty Years Ago: December 2003

For so many years, December was the most challenging month of the year. The weather turns colder, the weeks of school between Thanksgiving and winter break are hectic, and there are many holiday celebrations. I am not sure this got any better as my children got older. Thus, my level of busy was at its peak, “My school computer froze on me yesterday and it is sitting in the tech office. I have a haircut, interdepartmental lunch, I’m teaching Humanities solo and I need the laptop cart in the computer lab. It is going to be one hell of a day. Oh, and did I mention there is an FAC meeting after school. Oh yeah, need to call the kids’ doctor to set up a nasal spray session for them.”

The dog was still waking us up early – but not enough. He was leaving us smelly surprises, too. He was nearly blind, but had an operation on his eyes that was helpful – and time-consuming. 

We celebrated Hanukkah with family and at temple. I was also getting ready for a special family trip for winter break! We had never been on such a long plane flight as a family. Boarding a dog with significant medical needs was challenging. I kept waiting for the kennel to tell me it was too much. They didn’t say that in December – but they did say it later. 

I noted that, although a lot was going on at school, it was the portion of the day over which I felt like I had the most control, “Teaching is a challenge today, but that was the easiest part of the day.”

Packing for ten days out of town with young children was stressful, “We are going to schlep a ton of bags. We have four small bags, several as little as one of our carry-ons, one large Pullman, a car seat, three backpacks (carried on), and one rolled-on carry-on. Thank goodness we do not have a connecting flight; with so many pieces of luggage, the odds of getting one misplaced are way too good. Unlike my usual strategy, two of the bags primarily have the kids’ stuff and three have mostly our stuff.” It was clear to me, even then, that we overpacked. Oh, well. 

One theme of this retrospective of 2003 is that we had lots of colds. December was no different. One of my children almost always had a cold and either my wife or I would share it. However, this was the first time that our children got a flu shot. That helped! 

As we got closer to winter break, I found I was more and more desperate for the time off, – “I just need some downtime. I just need some time to turn off the real world.” Recently, one of my children felt the same way. These trips are now more about being together than relaxing and decompressing – but that was not the case twenty years ago.  

When we finally left, the kids were great on the long flight “Both took naps, both watched DVD, both nibbled and read and played chess. They are awesome.” They were and are great travelers. I sat between them with lots of activities and things to eat. The trip there was laden with anticipation, which helped. 

The trip itself was wonderful. I think that getting away from Chicago’s gray and cold weather is healthy and helpful. A change of scene is also a great way to feel renewed and see things differently. However, we do make the distinction between a trip and a vacation. While there were some vacation elements, such as the children going to the resort’s kids club, this was most certainly a trip. 

One child had an issue with water in the ear that necessitated a house call from a doctor. We learned that, after a day of play, the kids might literally fall asleep at dinner if we ate too late. One fell asleep and I had to carry him back to our room. 

We celebrated Hanukkah and enjoyed the resort’s Christmas activities. My parents traveled with us, and have over winter break since the kids were born. It was great to be together. I have always been so grateful that my parents have been such an integral part of my children’s lives – and are to this day. 

On the way home, the kids were tired. Yes, they slept, but they were also out of sorts. No one was looking forward to going back to the cold – or regular life. And then we moved on to 2004, as we now move into 2024: with hope, with conviction, with anxiety, and with renewed resolve. 

Happy everything to everyone! 

Twenty Years Ago: August 2003

August 2003 was an exhausting mix of summer and school. It was a swirl of family activity, classroom setup, travel, home improvement, socializing, celebrating, and dog drama. I don’t blame any reader who looks at this piece and says, there is no way all of that occurred in the month before school starts. I found it difficult to believe myself. 

This was a very social month! We got together with ten families (one at a time). We went to the Museum of Science and Industry, the Hancock Building, Illinois Railway Museum, Arlington Park, and the Planetarium. Without the kids, we went to the movies and saw the Broadway touring company of Mama Mia. We had dinner with our dear friend, Dorothy. 

We celebrated my mother’s 65th birthday with a big party at the Chicago Botanical Garden. My brother and his family came in for the event which was held in the garden’s pavilion. It was a fantastic evening. I toasted/roasted my mother with a fun ode in her honor. 

My folks, my wife’s aunt, and the four of us took a trip to the Wisconsin Dells. We took two cars and made a stop in Madison where my parents went to college. We stayed at the Wilderness Lodge, rode the indoor and outdoor water slides, took our “dam pictures” on the Ducks, played miniature golf, got an old-time photo, and saw the obligatory water show at Tommy Bartlett’s. When I got home, I started plans to visit my cousin in Florida for spring break. 

The dog continued to need plenty of attention. I became the sole person to give him shots. He continued to have overnight accidents and thus was crated in the evenings. He was angry with me about that. He developed a sore on his cheek. We moved to a vet who was nearby rather than schlepping all the way down to Wilmette. The dog stayed at our new vet’s boarding kennel while we were at the Dells. 

Home projects continued. We finished replacing both the roof and the siding on the house. We also replaced all the gutters. Of course, it rained as we replaced the roof. The banging above my head was both headache-inducing and shook the house such that things fell off shelves in every bedroom. We replaced and repaired ceiling fans, 

On the school front, I had a workshop with my new teaching team. I prepared my classroom and spent a ton of time at school. I made copies of handouts, sent and prepared emails, created decorations, and made name plates and other welcome materials. I had dinner with the Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity (SEED) group. 

“I did some work at school and got there just after 11. I stayed until just after 3! That place is a black hole. I didn’t have a ton on my list but I did this and that and the time vanished. It took me more than an hour to send all of my e-mail letters from last year.”

Meanwhile, I was still taking adult Hebrew lessons, scheduling field trips to various houses of worship for my Sunday school class, and organizing the congregation’s Friday night services for the upcoming year. And in August, rehearsals for the High Holiday choir started. 

Sometimes, I wrote in my journal that I was overwhelmed, “I feel at odds and ends, unsettled. I don’t know if it is the approach of school, the lack of structure right now for this family, Sunday School field trips, Friday night services. There are a lot of balls up in the air. I worked on lots of this and that today, but I don’t feel like I put any of it to rest. Yes, I got two small tasks off the list but the big ones remain, and GROW! Each task gives birth to a new one once accomplished! I find myself blocking and wanting to NOT do some of this stuff.”

But at other times, I am just rolling with the coaster, “It is amazing the difference a day makes. I spent the morning in school today and got a ton done. Handouts are ready for the first day. I gave the policy packets to Jean’e and worked on the Power Reading word games. I finished the room signs and gave them to Debbie to laminate. My desk is all set up and I am ready to start decorating the room. If I spend a few hours tomorrow, I’ll be in great shape! The only thing that is not EXACTLY there are humanities lesson plans and those must be done collectively. Friday night services are coming along, I’ve made a variety of calls for Sunday School; I will just need to follow up. I have an appointment to take Q to meet with the camp lady too! All my projects are on the burners and cooking nicely.”

Thank goodness those Augusts are behind me! 

Twenty Years Ago: July 2003

Reading my journal from July 2003 made me feel old and tired. I needed to be twenty years younger to be that busy – and it was summer break! I was also reminded of how distant 2003 was; at least I no longer use a Palm Pilot. 

July of 2003 was action-packed and fun-filled in every domain. My to-do list overflowed. We had a new roof and siding installed on the house. I ordered a new computer, returning to a Mac after several years of using a piece of c. I worked on school projects, schlepped the kids around, and hosted dinners with every family in the neighborhood. 

“So much accomplished today and yet I feel unsettled. I put together the newsletter puzzle piece and fixed the Counseling Website. I got all my at-school tasks done. I read a great deal of Nervous Conditions and I shall finish it today and be able to get back to Kate regarding the choice. Lots of little bits and pieces done. I am glad I don’t live like this all the time. It would make me too scattered, too fragmented.”

In addition, I was preparing for our annual summer trip. I took the kids for their yearly physicals and even the van got its own check-up. I helped my daughter get ready for overnight camp, met with the school Peer Helping staff and my new teaching team, and consulted with the chair of counseling about his website 

The dog was having regular overnight accidents and was diagnosed with diabetes. I learned to administer insulin shots to him twice a day. To keep track of the insulin dose and its effects, I created a chart so we could figure out the correct dose. Finding boarding for him while we were away became a challenge due to his need for syringes. I changed veterinarians because I didn’t have time to schlep to Wilmette constantly. 

I am not a fan of home remodeling or construction, “I hate this kind of work anyway. The pounding, the disruption, the noise and mess. The chance of problems. These “solutions” seem to bring as many issues as they solve. Today siding off, tomorrow roofing, Saturday siding back on. I hope that brings an end to it. Enough already!” 

July wasn’t all work and tasks. It was also highly social. We went out with couples, hosted eight families over for dinners, participated in our block party, ate at Sweet Tomatoes multiple times, and had a Fourth of July party (on July 3rd) because we could see the Deerfield fireworks from our backyard. We marched in the Fourth of July parade with our congregation, had several out-of-town friends visit, and went to Great America, Navy Pier, Northbrook Days, and the library’s summer programs. My folks took my daughter to a special overnight grandparents’ university at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. The kids slept at their grandparents and great-aunt’s homes several times. They spent a ton of time at my folks’ house throughout July. 

While the kids were having a sleepover, my wife and I went to see a brand-new musical at the Goodman: Bounce! My wife had been adamant we get tickets. It is rare that she is so excited about a specific play, so I made it a special evening. We had a wonderful dinner and then got excellent seats at the theater. Unfortunately, the play was awful. At intermission, she almost yelled at me, “You said I love Stephen Sondheim!” That’s when I understood why she was so eager to see this play. She confused the two Stephens. “No,” I said to her, “You don’t like Stephen Sondheim. You like Stephen Schwartz.” We adore musicals like Pippin, Wicked, Working, Children of Eden, and others by Schwartz. She is not a big Sondheim fan. “Oh,” she replied, “Can we go home now?” We left during intermission. 

While my parents looked after the kids, my wife and I traveled to San Francisco for a week. We saw my aunt and cousin as well as friends from college. We visited with one of my former students who recently graduated from college. We drove along the coast and visited the Hearst Mansion. As always, we also toured several universities. My wife, in addition to the rest of her duties, helped kids with the college process. We did some wine tasting, sunset watching, and lots of relaxing. It was a refreshing change from our usual routine and I loved the slower and easier pace: the kind of pace I now enjoy in retirement. 

I printed out MapQuest pages to help me navigate the 850 miles I drove on vacation. I tried to check our home answering machine for messages with limited success. I had no way of getting my email without a computer. Disconnected meant something different in 2003. 

Upon returning home, life went back to the summer circus. My daughter attended art camp. The dog started regularly waking us up in the middle of the night to show us the big puddles he created in the kitchen. He also made it difficult to give him his medicine. He was remarkably clever about holding on to a pill and then spitting it out in odd places. 

At the end of July, I began writing my daily journals on my new Macintosh! My son lost his first tooth, we experienced some spectacular storms, and did our best to soak up the summer before August arrived, signaling the end of vacation and the return to the reality of school. 

Reading for Treasure: June is the Start of Summer Reading

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

Summer is an opportunity to pick up good books and read, read, read! June is important for many reasons. Now that I am retired, I love having more time to read all sorts of things. Here is a list of articles about books and reading and a few lists of titles you might want to pick up. 

Should the character or views of an author influence our reading choices? Some of my friends will not read books by certain writers because of these writers’ behavior and political involvement. I must say that The Color Purple was one of those few books I read in one sitting. I was dismayed to learn about the author’s anti-Semitism and even more about how the New Yorker treated it differently than another author’s racism: “What The New Yorker Didn’t Say About a Famous Writer’s Anti-Semitism”

I am so glad that I am not the only person who thinks that giving graduates the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go is problematic. Please take a look at the Chicago Tribune opinion piece, “Time to Turn the Page on Children’s Books as Graduation Gifts.”

Two wonderful pieces about reading from The Atlantic.  We have all had books that stuck with us, moved us, and shaped us. For Lauren LeBlanc, that book was I Never Promised You A Rose Garden by Joanne Greenberg. In her article, “The Book That Said the Words I Couldn’t Say,” Ms. LeBlanc talks about the power of this book and the power of reading. Secondly, here is a snarky fun piece from last summer, “Please Don’t Read at the Beach.” 

I am volunteering with Chicon 8: The 80th World Science Fiction Convention coming to downtown Chicago Labor Day Weekend. So I thought it would be fun to think about books set in Chicago. Better yet, you can use this site, recommended by this Lifehacker article to find books set in any location: “This Site Helps You Find Books Set Where You Live.”

Juneteeth comes in June, so here are two Juneteenth reading lists: one from NewsOne and another from Facing History. 

June is Pride Month. Here is a list of the finalists for the Lambda Literary Awards. CNN provided a useful article for LGBTQ+ reading for younger readers: “A guide to LGBTQ summer reading for kids and teens -- from authors themselves.” 

Two good articles from Lit Hub. First, their choices for summery summer reading: “Our 15 Favorite Summery Novels for Summer Reading” as well as their “The Ultimate Summer 2022 Reading List.”

Of course, we must have some genre summer reads! Here are some recent genre award finalists and winners: 

The shortlist for the Nommo Awards, given annually by the African Speculative Fiction Society

The Nebula Winners from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA): 

The fan’s choice: the Hugo finalists! The winners will be announced at Chicon 8: The World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago! 

The books honored by Locus Magazine: Locus Top Ten Finalists

I am currently rereading Time Enough For Love by Robert Heinlein 

1000 Days of Retirement: What Keeps You Busy?

Whatever I want. 

I thought about leaving it at that. Seriously, asking people what they are going to do when they retire or what they are doing in retirement is akin to asking what comes next to high school and college seniors. 

Before I retired, I would tell people that I was going to take a gap year and just figure things out. I would also joke that I was going to become a pirate. It is difficult to plan for retirement when one doesn’t know what it will look like. 

And now, 1000 days later, I am still figuring it out. Of the 1000 days since I retired, 720 of them have been during the COVID pandemic. At least once a week, someone says some variation on, “you retired at the right time.” Yes, I did. I deserve no credit for it. 

What have I been doing in retirement? A great deal! However, the big difference is that I am busy without being frenetic. I call it easy busy. One of the best things about retirement is that I get more control of the pace, and I have been trying to slow things down. When I list what I do on a particular day or week, it is much less than in my life when I was working.  That is one of the best things about retirement: it is reasonable.  

I love my slow mornings. As a high school teacher, I awoke at 5:15, did a half-hour workout, put my lunch together, took care of whatever home tasks had to be done in the morning, and got to school in the 7:15 range. Now, I can sleep a little later, although my body is still trained for early rising. My workout is now about an hour long. I take time making a far more interesting breakfast and read my morning feeds. 

After that, my activities fall into a few categories: 

I am getting to things I did not have time to do while I was working. We cleaned the basement during COVID, redecorated my daughter’s room into a new study and media room (which I call my ready room), and began a project of scanning and organizing old photos and documents. I have some plans to do some learning activities once we are less concerned about COVID. 

One of my worries about retirement was that I would become disconnected from my friends, especially those for whom my main connection was school. So I am very purposeful about sending emails, making lunch dates, and keeping in touch. When we were locked down, this turned into more phone and video calls as well as texts and emails. But with or without the pandemic, socializing has become a far greater part of my day-to-day life than it was while I was teaching. 

I am very active in my congregation. I planned our twentieth-anniversary celebration, run the fundraising, and teach in our Sunday school. I used to coordinate the oneg Shabbat food after Friday night services, but we haven’t done that since the pandemic began. However, I am still in charge of announcements. I am delighted to be singing in our choir again! 

I coordinate two science fiction book clubs. I volunteer with the planning of the World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago, which will be on Labor Day weekend downtown.  The pandemic made conventions more challenging. I attended a few virtual cons and have attended two in-person conventions in the last few months. 

I am spending more time and energy with my family. My children came home during the summer of 2020 and I helped with whatever they needed. I was walking my daughter’s dog, fixing meals, helping with technology, and helping my son move to Detroit and drive my daughter back to DC. Speaking of technology, I am the IT help desk for my folks and a few others. 

My family involvement includes more formal family structures. My wife, cousins and I are forming a family council. I have become the bookkeeper for our family's philanthropic activities. My involvement in our family business has increased far beyond what I anticipated. In fact, being more connected to the family business was a bit of a retirement surprise. 

I really really like to read. I have been reading RSS feeds, books, short stories, articles, non-fiction, and lots of other things. I have to be careful or I might read a day (or more) away! 

Before the pandemic, my wife and I would go to live theatre regularly as well. We love to travel and planning our trips took lots of time and energy. These are slowly returning. We have seen some plays at the high school. We went on a trip to California and I am planning trips to be with our kids. The more time I spend on travel planning, the more traveling we can do! 

Oh, yeah, and I grew a beard. 

Yet, when someone asks, “what keeps you busy,” I am at a loss to provide what I think would be a satisfying answer. Now I can just tell them to read this! 

Summer is Waning

August always creates a little panic in the Hirsch household. August means that school is no longer a distant concern. August means that all of those school tasks we have been putting off now require our attention. August means that our days of flexible and varied schedules are going to be replaced with the 5am wake up and the 7 to 4 school day. Summer is waning.

As the days start to shorten again and I find that my evening walks are in the dark, I am pulled in two directions. I love my summers. They are one of the great perks of being a teacher. I have a list of things I could not or did not get done during the school year and I get through many of those throughout the summer. I review my school plans, too. I go over all the student feedback, evaluate my lessons and calendar, look at those many lists of  things I have been meaning to incorporate in my teaching, and read, read, read, read, read! Summer is a very productive time.

Sometimes at the end of July or the beginning of August, our assistant principal will open the electronic grade book and let us peek at our class lists in progress. The lists are not done. They are not finalized. It doesn’t matter. Now, instead of just school waiting for me at the end of August, specific students are in my future. This changes everything!

While I am still enjoying my summer flexibility, I am now thinking about the students with whom I will spend most of the year. Most of the students on my teaching load are freshmen, so I don’t know them at all. I recognize some names; some are neighbors, and a few I have met in other contexts. But they are strangers. My seniors, on the other hand, are not. I want to run outside, down the block, and knock on doors and say, “We are sharing class this year!” or “We are back together!” They don’t see their schedules for another week or two, so I can’t do that. Yes, there are names that elicit less enthusiasm, too, but that is rare. In my thirty plus years in the classroom, I can count on one hand the number of students I really did not rejoice in teaching. And students, like all people, grow and change. No student should be stuck with last year’s (or two years ago’s) baggage. At the beginning of school, everyone deserves a fresh start and a clean slate. I roll out the red carpet for every student with whom I work.

Getting ready for all these fresh faces takes a ton of work! August, and the appearance of these draft lists, means that I need to start getting ready – beyond writing lesson plans, ordering books, and reading articles. I need to create role lists. I need to make nameplates. I need to share documents on Google drive and create classes in turnitin.com. I need to set the table and put food on it! Hungry kids will be here soon!

I start making little forays into the building. I get my rooms ready. I print out materials and make a few copies. I sent kids welcome emails. I see my colleagues and catch up. I realize how vital my school community is and how it energizes and renews me. And despite my love of summer, how much I have missed it.

In two weeks, I will greet my new freshmen and their families. I can barely wait. I will savor the waning days of free summer, but now my focus is on fall. Time to go back to class!

Cold Days Slide Us Back To School

Every year, snow days are wonderful surprises. A day off for something else is unusual. Two days off is rare. Two days off attached to a break is unprecedented. But that’s what happened.

At the end of summer vacation, I am ready for school. I am eager to meet my new students, rise to new challenges, see my colleagues, and get back in the game. Spring break is always too short. The week flies by, and school vengefully returns. Winter break is just about the right length. Although a third week would be accepted gladly, two weeks are long enough to let go of school.

However, going back to school isn’t exactly welcome. I was bracing myself for the return last Saturday. The break had been especially meaningful. My elder child had rejoined the family after being way since August. It was a joyful reunion, and we had a week in splendid Hawaiian isolation.

We returned to cold Chicago, and my children got touch with their friends, and made plans. We unpacked and prepared for school.  The four of us got together with neighbors and family, too. Winter break was waning.

And then it got cold – real cold. On Sunday, I drove my daughter to her grandparents’ house in the morning. My van’s doors froze shut on the way. It was a sign of what was coming. Soon after, the superintendent announced there would be no school on Monday.

Monday morning felt like Sunday. We slept late, and had a leisurely breakfast together. Although my daughter wanted to go out with friends, she was easily dissuaded by the terrible conditions outside. So the four of us stayed home – together.

We watched TV, read, and played games. We did family work together. We filled out forms, planned for school, and enjoyed a very different kind of isolation. We opened all the cabinets, ran the faucets, and checked the water pipes in the basement regularly. It was an extra vacation day spent in the arctic.

We played a game after dinner, looked at photos of my daughter’s African journey, and went to bed warm and relaxed. We were shocked when we got notice of a second canceled day.

The second day was our transition back into reality. First, I realized that there was cold air coming through the vents. The furnace was no longer heating the house. Then, as my kids left to go to the movies, the garage door wouldn’t close. When it ceased to work entirely, we realized that the power was out. No problem, we have a generator. It didn’t work either.

Our super handyman came over and was able to make three of our four issues go away. Commonwealth Edison eventually got the power back on.

My wife and I sat down to a late lunch exhausted, but pleased that the kids had spent the drama time at the movie theater with friends. The second snow day felt more like a frantic Saturday.

Thus, we are ready to get back to school tomorrow. The two extra days were more than icing on winter break. They were a last chance to circle the wagons and spend time with important people. They were also a reminder of why school had been canceled in the first place, and that real problems and real responsibilities are never far away.

Currently it is 1° outside. My son is studying. My daughter is packing. My wife is at a meeting. I am writing. Winter break is over. Tomorrow: school!

The Vacation Before the Vacation

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Absent,

I am sorry we missed Marcus right before Thanksgiving break – and winter break – and spring break. I hope your trips were everything you hoped. I have attached our daily class agendas, assignment sheets, homework, and handouts.

When my children were in elementary and middle school, I remember being very frustrated just before holidays. It seemed like the day or even the week before breaks was filled with parties, movies, and non-academic fluff. I wish that were the case in high school. Unfortunately, it is quite the reverse. We barely have enough time to cover the curriculum.

In high school, we do our really need every moment. In fact, instead of showing Finding Nemo seven times, students frequently have major assignments, tests, or other assessments due right before or after the breaks. Part of this is due to where these holidays land on the school calendar. Thanksgiving is almost the mid-point of the second quarter. Winter break comes only two weeks before final exams and the end of the semester. Spring break usually marks the end of third quarter. It is highly probable that Marcus will have several tests, papers, projects, and presentations during the days immediately preceding each of these major school holidays.

I’ve heard that flights and hotels are cheaper before the holiday. It is so much nicer at the resort when it isn’t so crowded. I can fully understand why you are so eager to get away. I wish I could join you. Marcus is fortunate to get that extra time. Rest assured that, even if Marcus is traveling instead of being in class, the other students are still learning– just without Marcus. I am sure Marcus will eventually catch up. He will have to either turn in work prior to leaving or make up work upon returning. Some teachers will also assign homework over the break, so please remind Marcus to do that as well. Although this might be stressful and difficult, no doubt the trip will provide the necessary relaxation.

I am hopeful that Marcus can figure out the material without the instruction I provide in class. The activities and experiences in class would make his learning easier, but I am sure you can help him, and there must be some resources at the resort. You probably did something vaguely similar to our unit of study when you were in school twenty or thirty years ago, so you are well prepared to assist your child.

And Marcus was so good at being proactive before his absences. It is fortunate that I overheard him talking to the other students. I am sure Marcus will be just as responsible when making up work after the vacation. I believe he is missing a few days on that end, too. Right? I will send those additional materials, but Marcus has already told me that there may or may not be an Internet connection at your resort. Besides, who likes to do homework on the beach?

As we approach the end of the marking period, I will be in touch about Marcus’s grade. No one likes that kind of surprise. By the way, Marcus is still missing work from his prior absences due to his doctor’s appointments, soccer tournaments, and that extra special trip downtown.

Have a wonderful holiday, enjoy the beach, and please help Marcus learn the skills listed on the daily agenda!

Yours truly,

Mr. Hirsch 

Summer Guilt

“So what are you doing this summer?”

I am asked this question daily. I didn’t choose to be a teacher for summer break, but it is a wonderful benefit. When people ask me what I am doing, I often feel my answers don’t measure up.

I have my stock responses: I do about 80% of my lesson planning over the summer. I take workshops and classes. My wife and I travel. I spend a great deal of time schlepping my children and going to their activities and sports. We have quality family time. Yet, that doesn’t feel like enough. I do that during the school year.

I should say something like, “I am building homes for the poor, writing a book about literacy, running two marathons, reroofing my home, and teaching summer school to disadvantaged students – and that’s only July!” I feel guilty that my summer is not justified with productive and generous activities.

The truth is I like summer because it is not overstuffed and moves at a leisurely pace. It is the opposite of the rest of my year. Instead of the frantic early morning rush, I savor the slow slide from morning wake up to workout. I love making and enjoying breakfast rather than rushing through it. I get to say, “yes” to social engagements, special events, and last minute jaunts. My summer is not frenzied like the rest of my year, like the rest of my life!

So now I feel even guiltier. Not only do I get summer break, it is enjoyable and relaxed! I think, “others get a few weeks of vacation, and I get a whole summer.” That isn’t fair. Everyone should get to enjoy this kind of change of pace.

There are the stock rationalizations: my job as a teacher is different than other professions, but we know the truth about that. Everyone’s job has stress from clients and bosses, homework, legislative demands, non-air-conditioned work places, underfunded budgets, and restless teenagers (and their parents). Every job has its unique challenges and perks. We’re all in the same classroom –right?

I am a parent as well as a teacher. As a parent, summer is a joyous gift! I get to go full time with my family. I have the time to sit through long baseball games (and not grade quizzes at the same time), bring kids off to the pool, or take time to do whatever my children want. My kids and I share this calendar, and that may be my favorite thing about summer.

So how do I alleviate my summer guilt? I make long lists and do everything on them. All those home task, special projects, and school tasks that didn’t fit into the regular year finally find have my attention. Summer for me is not totally free – but unlike the rest of the year, I am in control of my schedule.

Summer is my crazy profession’s antidote. Maybe someday, we’ll find a way to make both teachers’ and students’ lives more balanced throughout the year. We won’t have the summer binge and the  school-year purge. I wouldn’t bet your vacation on that happening soon.

Someday, I’d like to take the summer off completely. I’d like to have a summer free from lesson planning, workshops, and schoolwork. One summer, I’d like to lose my to-do list. But that has another name: retirement. And my retirement is not that far away. Then I will really feel guilty!  

Coping with College

Here is the truth: I didn’t want my daughter to go back to college. This is, of course, just a selfish parental impulse. I am not going to prevent her from returning for the second semester. It has been great having her home for four wonderful weeks. I am struggling with the idea that it will be months until I see her again. And since my child is on the three-year program, it will be a year until we have more than a weekend together. So, as she packed for her return to school, I was wishing for another week – or four!

When my daughter is away at college, I miss her. I really miss her. It takes a great deal of self-control not to call every day, text each thought, or email article after article. It has taken every ounce of my willpower to let her control the communication. And I am told it is stalker-ish to sit on the college webcam hoping she’ll lead a tour across the quad.

It is not an exaggeration to say I count down the days until she comes home. Thanksgiving was a tease. My daughter did a great job of balancing her time between family and friends, and it still wasn’t enough. So when she went back to school, I consoled myself that it was only a few weeks until I would get a more substantial visit.

When we dropped her back at the airport, I held back my tears. I understood why my grandmother often became teary eyed when she hugged me. It wasn't enough time! I loved having her at home and I didn't fully appreciate what it would be like to have a home without her - and then to have her home for a tiny time.

So I counted down to winter break. I tried not to be intrusive during her final exam week. Instead, I checked on her flights and sat in her room. Finally, the week before my school’s winter break began, she returned.

And our home felt right again. Once again, there were four of us for dinner. Once again, we had to schedule who was taking the car. Her clothes and shoes took over the mudroom and her music could be heard across the house.

On vacation, we got ten whole days to be a family without distraction. We have done this almost every winter break since the kids were born. We took walks, ate meals, and played games without any competition from the outside world.

Now, I have been back in school a week. My daughter just returned to school…and I was still not ready. It doesn’t matter. This schedule is not dependent on my readiness. Maybe in a few weeks I would be ready. Maybe not. She went back anyhow. She was eager to go.

This is our new relationship. Absence has not made my heart grow any fonder. I don’t know that it could. Absence has just made me nostalgic for the days when both of my children lived under my roof. I know I will get used to this new situation. She has only been in college for one semester. Other parents tell me, although they were also sad when the kids left, they came to enjoy this new stage. I am not there yet. I am still mourning our old life. 

Traveling with Children

As my family and I got on the last leg of our almost twenty-four hour journey home, we heard the all too familiar wail of a crying child. My father joked that every plane is equipped with one. If you have a flight without a crying kid, you will get two the next time.

The child was screaming, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Her father was visibly frustrated. If their journey had been anything like ours, I understood how tired that child might be. However, as soon as the child got mommy, she started to scream, “Daddy! Daddy” Daddy!” That clued me in that this tantrum might be more than common fatigue.

For the next three and half hours, this toddler screamed, often in pitches that I could only detect by feeling the windows vibrate. Her parents walked her up and down the aisles, offered her crayons, toys, and treats. Nothing worked.

I was traveling with my two children, who were considerably older than the screamer. Yet, they have been on planes since they were infants. We are fortunate enough to have the means to travel a few times a year and my kids have become wonderful travelers.

There is a trick to it. My wife and I were very deliberate about how we handled traveling with the kids. We found that the keys were good planning, balancing adult and child needs, practice, and a lot of backbone!

We learned this the hard way. When our daughter was about nine months old, we took her to Quebec. It was awful. I remember quietly huddling behind a screen in a tiny hotel room praying that she would go to sleep and exiting a restaurant with our food in bags because my child could no longer sit still in the high chair.

Taking an infant on a vacation is strenuous. I have changed diapers on laps, in airplane lavatories, and the open spaces near doors. I have schlepped diaper bags that weighed more than my checked luggage. And who could forget dragging car seats and strollers through the narrow aisles of an airplane!

We learned the travel tricks. When our kids were young, I planned for the travel like I was putting together a lesson plan. I had videos (long before there were laptops or portable video player; I rigged my camcorder to work in reverse and put Sesame Street into it!), books, music, treats, games, and more ready to go. Diaper changing (and later potty breaks) were part of the schedule. I had spare clothes, extra diapers, pull ups, and always a wrapped surprise. They never knew when it would come, but it was a great motivation to stay with the program.

Someone had suggested giving our daughter Benadryl on the plane, so she would sleep. I called the doctor and she wisely suggested a test run first. To my child, it was rocket fuel. Drugging kids on the plane may be tempting, but if your goal is to help your kids become good travelers, it defeats the purpose.

As the kids got older, the key was to give them more responsibility for the planning. My children would pack their own bags (and carry them) that contained their favorite activities. I still brought little extras and surprises. I hit upon travel and card games and those became the focus of our longer journeys. Yes, my kids would also bring movies and music and those were great. The real saviors were books! My kids would read through very long journeys. It was profoundly ironic when, on a four-hour car ride through the Arizona desert, I stuck my head in the backseat to say to my kids, “Put down the darn books and look at the beautiful scenery!”

The journey may be half the fun, but the other half must be child friendly too. When our kids were young, we picked travel spots that had kid appeal. Quebec did not. There had to be a kids club or kid activities at resorts or kid friendly attractions when we were touring. Our schedule revolved around their home schedule. When they were young, we always stopped for nap-time. Kids travel better when they aren’t tired. We stayed in places that had kitchenettes or rented condominiums and prepared many meals in or took out from places to avoid the long waits in restaurants and the $16 grilled cheese sandwiches! We loved hotels with buffets because they provided everyone with choices and moved quickly. All hotels had to have a pool!

Our entire family (including grandparents) just returned from a tour of Alaska. We had many new experiences and getting home took almost an entire day. My kids were great! I remember an old Plugger cartoon that showed two weary parents walking away from the baggage claim with suitcases and kids under their arms. The caption read, “After the trip, pluggers need a vacation.” I can honestly say that traveling with my children may sometimes be a trip, but it is always a vacation!

Winter Break, How I Love Thee

Let me count the ways:

Your timing is impeccable. December may not be the middle of the school year but it feels like it. The weather has cooled, snow has fallen, and the freshness of the fall is gone. Summer vacation feels very far away. By the end of December, I am tired and I need down time.

You are long enough to actually give me a true break. Most breaks from school are a day or maybe two. Even Thanksgiving break is not long enough to really create distance from school. Most days off are really a chance to catch up. I spend most school holidays grading papers, planning and whittling my list down to a reasonable size. Of course I do work during winter break too, but the work does not dominate the time. I can do other things and not feel like I should be doing schoolwork. There is plenty of time for the many things I want to do.

You provide me with a change of scene. For many years, I didn’t care to go away during spring break. It is too short. Winter break is my family’s time to get out of town. I value this change of scene. When I am at home, home calls to me. There are chores to do, bills to pay, errands to run. When I am away, I can’t attend to all those mundane details. I love having a week or so to just “be” and not “do.”

You rejuvenate me. After winter break, I feel renewed and can return to work with new energy. Unlike summer, I am not eager to return. The break isn’t long enough for that. However, I feel like I have actually been away and, since I haven’t spent a majority of my time on school, I can see some through the stress and frenetic fogs of December. I have more patience upon my return and that is a good thing as we roll into final exams.

You provide me with quality family time. I spend a vast majority of winter break with my wife, kids, and parents. We eat together and the meals are slow and luxurious. We play games and watch movies. On vacation, we spend most of our time as a group. It is a great time to talk about important (and trivial) issues. Whether it is my son’s impending bar mitzvah, my daughter’s college plans, my parents’ health issues, or household planning, winter break is the time for substantive family dialogue.

You let me read things that are not for school. My winter break reading, unlike much of my summer reading, consists almost entirely of material I will never teach. I read fluffy science fiction, parenting non-fiction, and computer and health periodicals.

Winter break, you are my favorite time away from school. Shorter than summer, but far more sweet, longer than spring break and better timed, you are the best of the school holidays.

I must admit, winter break, that when you leave me, I feel stranded and cold. Getting back to school after winter break is a dive into a cold pool and it takes at least a week to adjust. Summer break fades away while winter break shuts off. While it is a difficult transition it does not negate the positives. Winter break, how I love thee!

Summer's Been Great; Bring on the School Year!

Remember how it felt to go back to school after summer vacation? Most of us would have preferred the vacation continue. There are very few people who like the rigor and routine of school more than the freedom and flexibility of summer. Yet, like the end of childhood, the return to school is both inevitable and makes the summer break all the more sweet.

Unlike the end of my school year, my summer vacation really does wind down. As the start of school draws closer, I start to go to school more often. I take all the preparations I’ve been working on and put them on the table. I prepare new handouts. I decorate the classroom and dust off my office. I write letters and email students. Like slowly getting into the swimming pool, I move gently back into academic waters.

I savor summer’s end. The end of the summer usually provides my children with more free time. Camp is over but school hasn’t started. So we go to amusement parks and museums and take little “field trips” together. I try to get my preparations accomplished so that everything is ready at school about a week before the first day of class. That gives me that last week guilt free. And I spent much of that time with my children.

Although I love summer, I am not ready to for it full time. I crave the challenge and energy that I find at school. I am eager to meet new faces and find ways to help kids grow and learn. Even when I do retire, I don’t think it will be one long summer vacation. Summer vacation is rejuvenating and relaxing only because I get to use those new energies again. What use is the recharged battery if there is no outlet for its power?

At the end of the school year, I am glad to walk out the door. I am fed up with the papers and politics, the stresses and struggles. But in August, I miss my colleagues and my students. I want to catch up and get back to business. I am ready to return. I know the challenges ahead of me, and I am ready for them. My patience bucket is full again.

By using a nice part of my summer to prepare for school, I create more free time during the year. I call this amortizing my summer. If I can do much of my lesson planning during the summer, I can focus on other concerns during the school year. That could be contacting a parent or taking on a new project. It may mean trying an experiment like using Twitter in the classroom, or creating a literature podcast or working with a teacher in training. This way I can have a tiny taste of summer all year long. And working on schoolwork during the summer doesn’t taint the summer. It allows me to slow down and see things from a distance.

The flip answer to “how was your summer?” often is “not long enough” and that is usually the case for winter and spring breaks. But it is not my summer answer. I will miss the summer, that is certain. Yet, summer would not be as precious if it were year round. As I have written before, the cycles of school are powerful. They rejuvenate me and ask me to reflect and renew.

Am I ready to go back to school? Almost. School starts in one week and I’ve just about memorized my new class lists. I will have difficulty sitting through the pre-school in-services because I am so eager to meet my new kids. Bring on the students, bring on the school year!

When The Kids Are Away, Dad Misses Them

Soon, I will drive to Michigan to pick up my children. About four weeks ago, my daughter left for overnight camp. A few days later, my son joined her. Tonight, I sit in a very quiet house. Since my wife and I are both educators, when our children are away, we have long days of freedom. It is lovely and we enjoy it. We often spend part of these weeks traveling. Or when we are at home, we try catch up on movies, reading, and finding those wonderful restaurants that don’t serve the orange food that my son requires.

Yet, there is another side to my children’s absence. I do my best not to be one of “those” parents who hover and protect, enable and smother. I work against those instincts when I am aware of them. I think it is important that my children have time away from their home and parents. But I miss them. I really, really miss them.

I love the time my wife and I get to spend alone while they are gone. We usually take an annual “honeymoon” and, while we are away, it seems fair. They are on vacation and we are on vacation. We communicate with our children the old fashion way by the written word. Of course, no matter where we are, we scourer the camp website for their photographs. As long as I am distracted by a novel location and the thrill of new sights, I can fend off the longing for my kids.

But we don’t stay away as long as they are at camp. Yes, I throw myself into work. I prepare lesson plans and get the first two or three (or four) weeks of handouts copied and organized. I decorate my classroom and get ready for the start of another school year. I focus on the children who will enter my classroom and it distracts me from thoughts about my own children.

My son writes us micro-letters from camp. They are a few sentences long and communicate feeling far more than fact. Between his letters and the photos, we get a blurry view of his camp experience. My daughter, however, is a CIT, a counselor in training. She calls us periodically. She tells us about her campers, how the counselors are treating her, what happened during the day. I just listen and restrain my desire to give too much advice. Fortunately, I cannot call her. She must call me.

Recently, a friend’s Facebook status was that he was missing his kids because they were with his ex-wife for the weekend. Since my kids just left for camp, I understood his statement in a new way. I winced, thinking about a system that would make me feel this way every week or month.

Then, another thought occurred to me: college! My daughter is only two years away from leaving the nest for more than four weeks. Oh, yes, but I will not be limited to letters or one way calling. I can call whenever I want or email or send a Facebook message or…uh-oh.

So perhaps the upside of this separation is that is helping all of us see our relationships anew. It is providing us with needed distance and independence. No matter how much you love each other, some time apart is healthy. I must stop writing this blog entry now because I need to get to the camp website. It is my daily fix of my children and I really need it!

What I Do On My Summer Vacation

I love being a teacher. I love the kids, the classroom energy, the connection to the community, the cycles of the year – and summer vacations. Students aren’t the only ones asked about what they did on their summer breaks. A summer break is one of the best perks of being a teacher and I treasure it.

During the school year, I try to strike a balance between work, family, and everything else but school still gets the biggest chunk of time. I spend hours in the classroom with the kids. I come in early and stay latel. Yet, schoolwork doesn’t remain in the schoolhouse. I go home and read, grade, plan, make phone calls and do countless other school related tasks. Teaching is not a job that can be left at work – even during the summer. I spend a significant amount of time doing schoolwork over the summer.

I try to amortize my summer free time into the school year. I complete many of the tasks that I would otherwise need to do during the school year. I do about 80% of my planning during the summer. I create handouts and schedules. I prepare literature units and activities. I go over my students’ end of the year feedback with a fine-tooth comb. I revise, add and delete, restructure and reinvent. I take a few hours a day to do school work so that I can have those hours for my family and myself during the school year.

I go day to day for each my classes and look at how things worked during the past year and what changes are needed for the year ahead. I completely prepare materials for the first few weeks of school. I plan the first semester as completely as possible.

The best laid plans of teachers and compulsive people often go astray. My plans are not fixed in concrete. However, I find it easier to revise plans than to build them on the fly. Sometimes I have to throw them away and start over but more often, they need some tailoring and tweaking. This summer works creates free time for me during the school year.

Summer is also a time for me to be a student. I have taken courses on everything from gifted education to technology to American literature. I take on the big projects like revising my website, finding new texts and writing new curricula. I try my hand at blogging. I learn a lot during the summer.

The best part of summer is that I spend time with my family. We go to museums and parks, take short “overnighters” and see movies, plays and concerts. We have a great time together. My kids have their own activities and I spend a large portion of my summer sitting in the stands of baseball and volleyball games as well as schlepping them from classes, camps, and other events.

My children go to overnight camp and that gives my wife and me the opportunity to travel. It is delightful to have time for just the two of us. We hiked in the Rocky Mountains this year and it was fantastic.

The summer gives me a chance to pursue a long list of tasks that are set aside during the school year. I organize, clean, build, plan, buy, and work on a long list of home improvement projects.

I read and relax, spend too much time on the computer, and go to lunch and dinners with friends. I saw a ton of people this summer and gained a lot of weight with them.

My summer vacation is full. I use a good chunk of it for school, and a larger chunk for those things that don’t get their fair share during the school year. Summer vacation balances the school year’s frenetic pace. It is the reset button that makes the school cycle possible.