Summer Guilt

“So what are you doing this summer?”

I am asked this question daily. I didn’t choose to be a teacher for summer break, but it is a wonderful benefit. When people ask me what I am doing, I often feel my answers don’t measure up.

I have my stock responses: I do about 80% of my lesson planning over the summer. I take workshops and classes. My wife and I travel. I spend a great deal of time schlepping my children and going to their activities and sports. We have quality family time. Yet, that doesn’t feel like enough. I do that during the school year.

I should say something like, “I am building homes for the poor, writing a book about literacy, running two marathons, reroofing my home, and teaching summer school to disadvantaged students – and that’s only July!” I feel guilty that my summer is not justified with productive and generous activities.

The truth is I like summer because it is not overstuffed and moves at a leisurely pace. It is the opposite of the rest of my year. Instead of the frantic early morning rush, I savor the slow slide from morning wake up to workout. I love making and enjoying breakfast rather than rushing through it. I get to say, “yes” to social engagements, special events, and last minute jaunts. My summer is not frenzied like the rest of my year, like the rest of my life!

So now I feel even guiltier. Not only do I get summer break, it is enjoyable and relaxed! I think, “others get a few weeks of vacation, and I get a whole summer.” That isn’t fair. Everyone should get to enjoy this kind of change of pace.

There are the stock rationalizations: my job as a teacher is different than other professions, but we know the truth about that. Everyone’s job has stress from clients and bosses, homework, legislative demands, non-air-conditioned work places, underfunded budgets, and restless teenagers (and their parents). Every job has its unique challenges and perks. We’re all in the same classroom –right?

I am a parent as well as a teacher. As a parent, summer is a joyous gift! I get to go full time with my family. I have the time to sit through long baseball games (and not grade quizzes at the same time), bring kids off to the pool, or take time to do whatever my children want. My kids and I share this calendar, and that may be my favorite thing about summer.

So how do I alleviate my summer guilt? I make long lists and do everything on them. All those home task, special projects, and school tasks that didn’t fit into the regular year finally find have my attention. Summer for me is not totally free – but unlike the rest of the year, I am in control of my schedule.

Summer is my crazy profession’s antidote. Maybe someday, we’ll find a way to make both teachers’ and students’ lives more balanced throughout the year. We won’t have the summer binge and the  school-year purge. I wouldn’t bet your vacation on that happening soon.

Someday, I’d like to take the summer off completely. I’d like to have a summer free from lesson planning, workshops, and schoolwork. One summer, I’d like to lose my to-do list. But that has another name: retirement. And my retirement is not that far away. Then I will really feel guilty!