Feeding Two Birds From One Feeder: How Our Language Reveals Us

Have you ever scrutinized someone’s words? Did you ever pour over a text message or email wondering if the message was intended sarcastically? Were you ever bothered by the way someone said something or their particular word choices? 

Our language matters. The words we choose and the way we communicate them reveal a great deal about our thoughts, feelings, and intentions. How we speak, the way we organize our thoughts, and the tone that accompanies them are as much a part of our message as the semantic meanings of the words themselves. 

One of the most famous examples of this is the quotation from the late President Regan: “Mistakes were made.” The statement neither takes responsibility for these mistakes nor tells us who made them. The statement is in the passive voice; the action is not with the speaker. It is a perfect statement for a politician. The president doesn’t say, “I made mistakes.” The president doesn’t make any judgment about the mistakes. They were just made – by someone, somehow. 

Many years ago, my school was looking for a new administrator, and focus groups were created so different groups could talk about what they wanted in that job. The person in charge of my group said to us, “I want teachers to feel like they are part of the process.” I looked at him and said, “I want to be part of the process.” There is a difference. The person running the meeting looked at me and said, “You know what I mean.” There is a big difference between “feeling like part of the process” and actually having an effect! 

When talking to parents of students, language tells me a great deal. Parents who use “we” when discussing their children’s activities are sending a clear message. We are applying to college. We studied for a test. We are going to practice. The truth is that the parent is not doing any of those things: the child is. 

The tone of parent emails is another place where parents reveal, intentionally or unintentionally, their relationships with their children and their children’s teachers. A parent whom I have never met or with whom I have no personal relationship should never address me by my first name. I have lost time track of the number of times I have received parent emails that read as if they are ordering products from a store or food from McDonald’s. The tone is one of a customer ordering a salesperson to deliver a product. Do parents sending nasty emails realize how insulting and hurtful they are? When speaking with them on the phone after receiving these emails, I realize that their tone has clearly communicated who they are and what is going on in their home. 

Perhaps the most striking and disturbing example of this is the way some media outlets described the people that Jeffrey Epstein was accused of harming. Was he trafficking in underage women or raping girls? “Underage women” is a euphemism for something far more disturbing – why don’t they write that? 

Similarly, the Civil War was not just a war between the states. Although we say the two sides were the Confederacy and the Union, the Union was the United States Army! People were not killed in the Holocaust, they were murdered. There is a big difference. 

Our language reveals and shapes the way we see the world and ourselves. It communicates far more than just the denotative meanings of the words. The whole is far more powerful than the sum of the syllables. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can shape our thinking. We must carefully consider which words we choose, how we weave them together, and the tone we use when communicating – not to trick or evade or cover – but to honestly, effectively, and clearly communicate. 

Privacy Protections Not TikTok Bans

When I was in the classroom (I’m retired), I wanted to keep up with my students’ technology trends. I wanted to know what interested and engaged my students. I was aware of social media when My Space, Friendster, and eventually, Facebook came out. However, it wasn’t until I signed up for an account on Facebook that I really understood what all the fuss was about. Reading about teen culture is one thing, diving in is very different. 

When TikTok came out, I didn’t hear kids talking about it. I had an account on Instagram and I found the “stories” slow and often duplicates of images and ideas from other posts. My students seemed more involved in other platforms like Snapchat.

Two years ago, on vacation, my twenty-something daughter (our family trailblazer) showed me the TikTok videos she was watching. We spent an hour or more laughing together. It was delightful. 

She showed me that TikTok was more than comedy videos. She was learning about smart homes, cooking, and other do-it-yourself skills. So, I signed up. I found TikTok the most entertaining of my social media sources. I like Facebook for personal connections, but TikTok was way more engaging and thus time-consuming. 

There, I said it. Despite the controversy, the fear of foreign manipulation, or the theft of my personal data, I like TikTok because it is the most entertaining, edifying, and enjoyable social media site I have found - and I have tried almost all of them. 

I like TikTok’s variety of content. I am following folks reviewing and talking about books, science fiction, Star Trek, theatre, education, religion, health, social issues – and, of course, politics. I hear about people’s perspectives and experiences. I learn about music, linguistics, science, education, and technology. 

While our lawmakers are worried about espionage, misinformation, and unethical use of my information, my concern is more about the way kids may be using social media (on any of its platforms). I am told that kids are using TikTok instead of search engines and it has become a mediator of the internet for them. Yet, this is a problem with many social media platforms, not just TikTok. Kids must be taught both critical thinking skills and how to seek and evaluate information they find online. 

And yes, I have Marshall McLuhan in my head at times asking something like, does viewing short, clever, and easy to digest videos about such important topics as race, religion, and the culture wars minimize and trivialize these complex issues? Is it also possible that this medium has made messages both more available and powerful to a new audience? 

Yet, when some legislators seem to want people to go to sleep rather than confront anything that might kick their complacency, worrying about quick videos seems the least of our troubles. The issue is not the form or the ownership. The issue is that social media can foment hate and violence. The issue is that kids can learn wonderful and wholesome lessons as well as destructive and dangerous ones. But that is a problem with all social media platforms, not just TikTok. In fact, that is an issue on and off the internet. 

Should we be concerned about privacy? Of course. At this point, it is more than a cliché statement that if you don’t pay for a service, you are the product. TikTok is getting my attention. But that, too, happens with every social media platform. 

Do I make purchasing decisions based on TikTok, Facebook or other online ads: not consciously. Will I? Perhaps. I am thinking about buying some of the products that the home automation guy on TikTok has been demonstrating (but I haven’t done it yet). I do go to some of the websites that I learn about from the people who demonstrate “useful websites I’ll bet you didn’t know about.” 

I know I am leaving digital footprints. They are far deeper than my use of TikTok. I find Facebook’s targeted ads creepy. But the use of my data is the price I am paying for this service. Should the government make sure that Facebook, TikTok, and others use my data ethically? Absolutely!  

Burying our heads in analog sand (or staying asleep) is not going to help either. Our world is now, at least in part, online. We must be informed and connected. TikTok has, on several occasions, informed me about important issues long before they appeared in my news feeds. Snapchat doesn’t work for me. I find Instagram slow and self-indulgent. Facebook is a way to stay connected to distant folks. I don’t go to social media to be angry or argue. I don’t go to feel good about myself or look down at others. I go to learn, connect, explore, and laugh. I hear authentic voices that I might not hear in real life (IRL). 

Banning TikTok doesn’t make us personally or communally safer. Creating legislation that protects users against inappropriate and unethical use of their data might. Like other industries, social media, and perhaps the internet in general, could use some consumer protections – in order to do this, lawmakers need to become much more knowledgeable about today’s technology! 

Humanities’ Calculator: ChatGPT Can Complete Most Class Assignments

OpenAI’s latest invention, ChatGPT, has teachers and professors in a panic, especially English and social studies teachers. If you are unfamiliar with ChatGPT, I assume you have been off-world, in stasis, or locked in a Klingon prison colony. However, since many of my readers fall into those categories, I’ll explain:

ChatGPT or GPT-3 is an artificial intelligence chatbot that is much more sophisticated than any other similar chatbots. ChatGPT can write essays – with citations. It can complete math homework and explain the steps. It can generate fiction, journals, and personal narratives. It can write cover letters, recipes, business plans, programming code, and much more. In short, it can complete many of the assignments that teachers and professors use to evaluate their students’ thinking and analysis skills. 

How should educators adapt? Do they make changes to their assignments? Do they move all homework into the class? Do they forbid the use of computers? Is that possible or reasonable? On TikTok, Twitter, and other forms of social media, teachers are discussing how to respond to the challenges of teaching in a world where a machine can do your homework in seconds. What should they do? 

I asked ChatGPT, “How should English teachers and other teachers who rely on essays to test students' thinking skills adapt their assignments and teaching given that ChatGPT can now do much of the writing (and thinking) for students?”

Here is what it said,” As an AI language model, ChatGPT is not capable of doing the thinking or writing for students. While it can generate text based on a given prompt, it is not capable of understanding or analyzing the content of that text in the same way that a human can. Therefore, English teachers and other teachers who rely on essays to test students' thinking skills should continue to assign and grade essays as they have in the past.

However, it is important for teachers to be aware of the potential for students to use AI tools like ChatGPT to help them with their writing assignments. In such cases, it may be necessary for teachers to put in place additional measures to ensure that students are not simply copying or paraphrasing text generated by these tools. This could include requiring students to submit rough drafts of their essays for review or implementing more rigorous plagiarism detection methods.

Additionally, teachers may want to consider incorporating lessons on the ethical use of technology into their curriculum, to help students understand the importance of original thinking and the potential consequences of using AI tools to cheat on assignments. Overall, while ChatGPT and other AI tools may present some challenges for educators, they should not fundamentally change the way that teachers assess their students' thinking skills through writing assignments.”

While I think all teachers should teach about, “the ethical use of technology” as well as a frank and detailed discussion of what constitutes cheating and the consequences of academic dishonesty, I disagree with ChatGPT’s thesis. I asked it the same question several times and got variations on this same argument. ChatGPT says that the existence of AI tools like GPT-3 should not change teaching practice. I strongly disagree. 

Instead of forbidding the use of technological tools, branding them plagiarism or dishonest, or returning to handwriting in bluebooks, I contend that Humanities teachers must embrace this technology and use it further their foundational goals: critical thinking, argumentation, and communication. 

I was in middle school when calculators became small and cheap enough to be added to the school supply list. And while I knew the steps to divide large numbers, letting the machine handle that work allowed my teacher to not only enlarge the curriculum but to delve further into mathematical concepts and processes – and class became a whole lot more fun. ChatGPT may be Humanities’ calculator. 

Our students can already go online and find or purchase essays on a plethora of topics. Teachers who think they have an assignment that is unique or designed so cheating is not possible soon find that the market has proved them wrong. And while some students crib their work from online sources, which can be detected by plagiarism detection software, others simply provide original essays written by others. The essay arms race is never-ending.

Now ChatGPT can be the worst of both worlds: it is not the students’ work and it is original enough not to be flagged as copying. Time for capitulation, fellow teachers. Skynet has won this war, so it is time to move battlegrounds. 

What are we teaching when we ask students to write? On a basic level, we are teaching language and writing skills: sentence structure, organization, the use of evidence, tone, word choice, and grammar. Above this are thinking skills like argumentation, persuasion, textual analysis, historical and literary context, and the relationship between writer and work. There is more, of course. 

ChatGPT is a new tool with which to achieve these objectives. Instead of rejecting it and banning it from the classroom, why not make it another tool to achieve our goals? How might we do this? 

Use ChatGPT to generate example pieces of work. For some assignments, instead of having students write the essay, ask them to evaluate and improve what ChatGPT writes. Feed student writing into ChatGPT and examine the changes it makes. Give ChatGPT very specific instructions regarding tone, argument, or authorial intent and assess its effectiveness. Compete with ChatGPT. Give students an in-class prompt and then see how their efforts are similar or different from the writing of the AI. 

While I agree that writing will now be more often an in-class task rather than homework, ChatGTP could be part of an out-of-class process assignment. Students must show their steps (outline, drafts, etc.), but must also show where they used ChatGPT and where they used other resources (the writing lab, a tutor, a partner in class, etc.). This kind of assignment would allow students and teachers to go through the process together and break down the steps of good thinking, analysis, and communication. 

I will probably write further about possible ChatGPT connected assignments. I will look for articles that provide ways to adapt teaching practices to this new technology. 

Right now, plagiarism detectors like Turnitin.com may not be able to flag writing by AI. That will probably change. I came across a website that claims to be able to figure out to what degree a piece of writing is most likely written by a bot. I have played with it a little and it has been fooled as often as it was correct. 

Like computers, phones, and calculators, teachers who stick their heads in the mud and refuse to change their practices will only provide students with the choice of how to trick them with minimal conflict. Instead, like math teachers and calculators, we need to embrace this new technology, help students use it effectively and ethically, and refocus our lessons on the most important goal of our classes: competent, critical, and creative thinkers and communicators!  

The Tone of Gesture

Did anyone in your family watch the old PBS children’s show, Barney- the show with the purple dinosaur who said he loved you and you loved him? Whatever you thought of the costumed title character, few people fondly remember the children on the show. There is a good reason. They were horrible over-actors. Their behavior was exaggerated and overblown. If my children brought a friend home who acted like these children, I would have been extremely concerned about their wellbeing. When I taught theatre class, I used these Barney children as examples of overacting. 

However, in the past three years, we have all become overacting Barney kids. When I am on Zoom, I find that I am often moving my arms and head to complement my words. When I speak, I gesture even more than I normally do (and I am a very expressive and physical speaker). I use Zoom backgrounds to communicate as well. Similarly, when I am wearing a mask, I compensate with the rest of my body. I work hard to “smize” and use my eyes to convey my emotions. Again, I find that I am using broad and exaggerated arm and hand gestures. My entire body tries to complement my eyes and communicate more than the semantic definitions of my words but their emotional meaning. 

While the pandemic has not turned many of us into over-emoters like those kids on children’s television, it has also given us insight into their motives. I have been placed in this tiny box and all you can see is a piece of me. Half my face is covered and you don’t know if I am being sarcastic, simple, or mean. So I need to supplement my language with large gestures. 

Our tone of voice often communicates a layer of meaning that our words alone cannot express. A mask muffles and obscures this. Zoom shrinks this. Thus, we need physical gestures to make sure that the most important meanings, the ones that are more powerful than mere denotation, to make it through these COVID-created barriers. 

Has this turned us all into cheerleaders, spelling out each affirmation and encouragement? Not quite. Has this made us more aware of the limits of language and how easy it is to misinterpret and confuse? Certainly! 

I’ll bet that most of us aren’t even aware that we are compensating this way. Like players of Charades, we are acting out the words and ideas in order to leap the linguistic, technological, and safety barriers. We want to be understood – really understood – in a way we took for granted just a few years ago.  

Bring understood means clearly communicating through not only what we say, but also how we say it. We all know that people can say things that are complementary and positive if we read them, but can be brutal and cruel when spoken in a certain tone of voice. The reverse is also true. Some of us struggle to make sense of this kind of sarcasm. Gestures, facial expressions, and vocal tone are the keys to communicating it. 

Communication that is only typed text lacks this context. There is no gesture or voice to a text or email. We add emojis or initialized shortcuts to indicate that we are just kidding (JK), rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL), or shaking our head (SMH). We instinctively know that our written words inadequately communicate important parts of our message and our reader needs help to comprehend all the levels of our meaning. 

This is also why we can find emails or text messages so problematic when the sender fails to recognize their tone and context. People take offense at texts that the sender thought were merely informational. Emails make the recipient feel horrible when the sender thought they were just being factual. 

How we communicate is at the very least as important as what we communicate –probably it is more important. We cannot help but embed our emotions as we connect with each other, even if it is accidentally. 

I do not like wearing a mask. I prefer to share a room IRL (in real life) with people rather than be placed in a Brady Bunch box on the screen. However, over the past three years, COVID has forced us to be more thoughtful about our communication, hone our nonverbal skills, and heightened our awareness of the meanings behind the words: the tone created by the intersection of our words and the physical gestures that accompany them. 

For Me, Social Media is About the People

Dear Friends, 

Social media has been much maligned recently and for good reason. I know that many people use Facebook, Instagram, and other online services to get their news, make political statements, market their businesses, and spread all sorts of things that might be called information. As you know, I have experimented with doing some of these things. However, the reason I am writing this is to let you know the real reason I stay on social media: I love thinking about you.

Seeing your photo, comment, post, or whatever reminds me of you. It makes me smile. I fully understand that getting together and actually having a face-to-face conversation would be more authentic and substantial. But let’s be honest, if I went for meals, walks, meet-ups, or gatherings with all my friends online, that would probably become all I would have the time or energy to do – and then there are the issues of distance and COVID. Social media is superficial contact, but it is much better than none at all. 

I rejoice with you when special things happen, empathize with you when there are struggles and losses, and remember our time together. For many of us, we shared school together. I am not the person I was in middle or high school or even college. I am not the cocky kid who started teaching at Deerfield High School thirty-some years ago. It is clear that all of us are growing up and growing old and that is a good thing. I liked you then. I like who you are becoming and it is delightful to get a little glimpse into your present person. 

Yes, there are times when I don’t understand what you post. While this is more often true of my younger friends, it is not exclusively so. I also need to note that my “younger” former students are increasingly closer to my age than I would have thought possible when I started teaching. 

Sometimes, I worry about you. Sometimes, I sent you private messages to check my understanding of what you posted. Sometimes I don’t because I cling to the idea that I probably misunderstood what you posted and I don’t want to pry into the details. I don’t want anyone to think that big teacher is watching. I don’t even have administrators to report to anymore! 

Sometimes, I disagree with you. I don’t often tell you so. I have not found social media to be a good platform for complex discussion. More often, I want to know more. You probably don’t know it, but many of you have sent me researching topics, learning about different points of view, and reading, reading, reading! Thank goodness, I love reading. 

I will admit that I get a twinge when there are significant proofing errors in your writing. I am still a former English teacher. I get much more than a twinge when those significant issues are in your thinking. There have been several times when I have wanted to provide a refresher on logic, critical thinking, evaluation, attribution, credibility of sources, or other topics I am certain we covered in class. The teacher hat never completely comes off, although it does transform. I don’t want to be too “teacherly” online, even if some of my friends still won’t use my first name. 

Like it was when we saw each other in person, our relationship is complex. Because it is primarily expressed in quick snatches of text and images, it has also become somewhat telegraphic. Small symbols may have big meanings. I do read between the lines and I am always trying to figure out if the meanings I intuit are correct. Sometimes I ask. Often, I do not. 

While there may be many people who have been horribly misled by social media, I hope my friends are not among them. I hope you are safe and healthy. I hope you are vaccinated (sorry, that is one of my big worries for my friends - if it feels political to you, that is another conversation). I hope you and the people you hold dear are doing well. I love seeing photos of your special people and sharing the good feelings that come with them. I hope you had a healthy and peaceful holiday season. 

I try not to spend too much time in front of the computer if I can help it. So I know, too, that I miss things. Sometimes I only see a post when someone else comments on it, when it is reposted, or if it is brought to my attention. Please don’t assume that, since you put it online, I saw it. We all know that social media has an odd algorithm that puts some posts higher up than others. If you want me to see something, please send it to me by messenger or email! 

I want to repeat that, for me, social media is social. Seeing you is what it is about for me. I don’t get my news from Facebook. I don’t form or debate my political views online. You know me – I read! I am an RSS-aholic and I am always putting aside articles to read later – even though I am reading a great deal each day. I am never up to date! I share some of the articles I read each month on this blog. 

Finally, thank you. Thank you for making me smile when you pop up on my computer. Thank you for keeping our relationship alive. Thank you for the connection. 

It matters a lot to me because you matter a lot to me. 

Everlasting Gifts from Kathy Galvin

One of the gifts we receive from great teachers is that they continue to teach their students, even when they are separated by time and space; they continue to impact our lives. Their lessons become an integral part of our being. They are always with us. 

There is no one for whom this is truer than Kathleen Galvin. I met Kathy my sophomore year at Northwestern when I enrolled in Speech Teaching Methods class. I thought I might want to be a high school teacher. I thought I might want to be many things. I was a nineteen-year-old: part adult, part adolescent, part toddler, and part explorer. 

I found myself in a seminar room in the basement of Harris Hall with two dynamic professors: Pam Cooper and Kathy Galvin. They really had one name: PamandKathy. We sat in a circle and they guided us through far more than pedagogy and curriculum. They modeled how good teachers, good adults, and good people act. They overlooked our immaturity and gently guided us. They taught us to think like educators. They modeled phenomenal teaching and remarkable caring. 

With humor, creativity, and mountains of patience, they firmly and expertly helped us learn about communication, family dynamics, child development – and ourselves. They insisted we become outstanding learners and leaders – and, most difficult for me, listeners. 

They practiced what they professed. Every lesson worked on two levels: the content, of course, and the modeling from Pam and Kathy. Not every professor is a great teacher. Kathy and Pam were virtuoso teachers, pitch-perfect. 

Throughout my almost thirty-four years in the classroom, I lost track of the times I consciously thought, “What would Kathy do?” or “How would Kathy respond?” Over and over, I brought myself back to that seminar room and I recharged my patience and perspective. 

Pam and Kathy got me through a tumultuous student teaching experience. My cooperating teacher was magnificent and a fantastic role model. However, his mother became ill shortly after I arrived and he left for Florida for several weeks. I was on my own and way over my head. Kathy and Pam’s quiet and steady guidance helped me to thrive and learn to navigate solo in the classroom.

Whenever Kathy called me, I knew it was going to be life-changing. She called to tell me about a summer job at a prep school in New Hampshire, which started me on the path of teaching television, and eventually starting at TV class at my school a few years later. She called and told me about a job opening, which started an intense reflection of what I wanted to do and where I wanted to teach. When I decided to stay at my school and change positions, I called Kathy and she recommended my replacement!

Kathy guided my master’s process. Her family communications class not only helped me understand and empathize with my own family but also gave me new insight into hers. Kathy came and spoke to my wife’s professional group, the Lake County Counselors Association about the changing roles of parents in college. I remember Kathy going way beyond discussing helicopter parents and talking about attack and rescue helicopter parents. 

Even years after college, Kathy was still my teacher. I worked with student teachers and Kathy came to Deerfield and coached our pre-service teacher and me. The more time I spent with Kathy, the more I grew. Many years ago, we started having yearly summer lunches together. We shared what was happening personally and professionally.

When we had lunch the last time, I thought about all the students who had studied in that seminar room in Harris Hall - and other places. Many of us are teachers. Many of us have been teaching twenty, thirty- or more years. 

Our students are Kathy’s grand-students. Kathy’s legacy goes way beyond the people who studied with her. She was with me in the classroom every day. I have taught about Virginia Satir’s mobile, used cartoons to teach about communication, and tried to do my best Kathy Galvin impression when that talkative, awkward, slightly irritating, adolescent sidles his way into my room. 

And I kept calling Kathy for booster shots. Thank goodness I am retired. 

There is no way to quantify the gifts Kathy gave me, Northwestern, and the countless students who read her books, studied with her students, listened to her lessons, or were fortunate enough to share a lesson with her. 

Just before the pandemic, Kathy became ill and we could not see one another. Yet, truly, she is sitting beside me. In my teaching, parenting, and pursuit of all that is precious and beautiful, Kathy will continue to be my guide. I am so grateful I got to tell her this at her retirement party just before the pandemic. I just wish we could share retirement.

Physically Safe, Emotionally Supported, and Academically Engaged: Twelve Ideas for School in the Fall

In person or not in person, that is the dilemma. Schools are trying to figure out how they will engage with students in the fall. Some schools have already decided that they will continue teaching via computers distantly. The American Academy of Pediatricians has recommended that schools open in person and have provided guidance about how to do that.

 

It is a complex and dangerous problem. For the most part, schools like to play it safe. In this case, all the options are significantly problematic. Bringing students into the school building is fraught with medical risks, but teaching them at home has not been working well.

 

Some parents may choose to home school their students in the fall. Students and staff members may spend large chunks of time unable to attend or connect to school due to illness, family assistance, or other problems. The 2020-2021 school year will be the opposite of routine.

 

What should schools do?

 

Distance learning has not been successful. Returning students to their classrooms creates hygiene, space, attendance, and countless other challenges. While there appears to be evidence that children are less likely to get COVID-19 or infect others, we have already seen the problems that come of even small number of infected people in groups.

 

Recognizing that one solution will not work for every student, school, or family, here is my brainstorm list of school opening possibilities:

 

Build the Relationships First: Spend the first few weeks, regardless of whether they are in person, remote, or both, getting to know each other. Focus on building the student-teacher and classroom relationships: bonds first and give the creation of that bond significant time and priority.

 

One Student At A Time: Consider one-on-one options. Could teachers and other staff members check in with kids for brief periods a few times each week? Could teams of teachers collaborate such that they have a shared group of students with whom to connect? Fine tune curriculum for each individual student. With absences, illness, and the many challenges this time is bringing, it is likely that few students will be in the same curricular place and one size will fit no one. Focus on each student singularly. 

 

Teachers, Not Students, Change Rooms: Organize students so they are with kids who are taking the same classes and then move the teachers from room to room and leave the kids in the same place. If a group of eight to fifteen students stay in the same room and work with a team of teachers, we have limited the number of people with whom they are connecting, removed lots of hallway and lunchroom exposure, and given students a singular home that could be sanitized. In addition, we create a team of teachers working with the same students!

 

Classes In Person, Broadcast, and Recorded: Make sure that all in-person classes are simultaneously broadcast to the kids at home as well as recorded and posted. We must constantly plan for lots of short and long term absences of students and staff! This is another argument for teams of teachers working together.

 

Classes in the Community and Outside: Move classes out into the community and incorporate community service activities that connect to course concepts. Move classes outside to the greatest extent possible.

 

School Families: Create multi-age groupings of students and form families or Harry Potter style houses. Eating together helps bring people together. So does low-level self-disclosure. We all know that just because students were born in the same year does not mean they are developmentally in the same place or possess the same skills or knowledge.

 

A Huge Group Project: Make the first few weeks of school one big group project. The group might be the class or a larger team or the entire school. This could be a community service project, figuring out how school will work, career-focused, problem based, or some other highly engaging active work. What if school was transformed into a singular enterprise working together toward a shared goal?

 

Integrate the Arts and Student Support Services: Have every class have an art, music, theatre, and/or dance component – and teacher. Ask counselors, social workers, case managers, school psychologists and others to stop by classes on a regular basis. Make sure they become an integral part of the classroom community.

 

Slow Down and Focus on the People – not the Content: Slow down the curriculum and the content and focus on the people instead. Make sure that students and staff get to know each other really really really well. Rather than focusing on coverage and content, be sure that social-emotional needs are met and that students are psychologically and physically well. Treat every student as if they are suffering from trauma – because they are. 

 

Look at Grading Differently: Make evaluation far more in-depth than letter grades. Ask students to create criteria and then to self-evaluate. Make these evaluations meaningful and relevant to students. Ask kids to track their growth over time. Make sure that every child knows that the goal is for that they succeed and earn an A  - whatever A looks like.

 

Create a Department of Parent Connection: Support parents and families that are struggling with childcare, food, shelter, and other issues. Many universities now have offices of parent communications. Perhaps having some staff dedicated to coordinating assistance to and communication with parents would be a good way to open school’s door wider – and thus provide even more support for kids! 

 

Each Teacher and Class Must Partner With Parents: Include and partner with parents and families. This means reaching out to parents on a regularly. Elementary schools often have a home newsletter, why couldn’t middle and high school classes also reach out to home in both directions? Parent phone calls and emails will be critical, too!  Home and school must be even more closely connected than ever before.

 

I have not addressed nitty-gritty issues like busses, making hallways one way or having two-stage passing periods (even rooms, odd rooms). Such logistics must not be allowed to overshadow making sure that students are physically safe, emotionally supported, and academically engaged. Schools must focus on how to best support students and their families.

 

Some old structures will be useful, but many will be restrictive and problematic. Schools staffs must be willing to reinvent school, let go of rigid mindsets, and be highly creative. They should talk to each other and learn from each other – and from any source they can!

 

Here is an outstanding article that I saw after I finished this entry that goes into more depth into some of the same ideas and some even better ones!

Putting the Social in Social Network: Facebook Thanksgiving

I am aware that there are issues with Facebook. I try to stay out of the political kerfuffles, and I am freaked out when the item I just bought at the store appears in my feed. I wish that Facebook would do a better job of upholding reasonable standards of accuracy.  

But that isn’t why I am on Facebook or Instagram. That isn’t how I use it.

I am there because I love thinking of you! I want to hear about your life. I am delighted to see your posts and photos because they remind me of you. It really is that simple.

Some people talk about the massive time-wasting potential of Facebook, and I am certainly guilty of avoiding productive work by scrolling through my feed. Yet, I leave that experience feeling good. Someone has a new job. Someone’s child did something cute. Someone is having a great time on vacation. Someone posted a funny meme.

It almost doesn’t matter what you post because the words and images bring you to my mind, and that is why I am there. Even when your post is not all sun and rainbows.

Sometimes, Facebook posts help us help each other. Sometimes they are calls for support. I have learned about sad events and funerals I needed to attend through Facebook. I have been able to be a voice in the chorus of support through Facebook. I have been able to reach out through Facebook.

I understand that we get bent out of shape about far more consequential issues. They are important. We need to address them. We must examine all information, on and offline, through a critical lens. We must hold each other and our communication vehicles responsible.

But my Facebook use does not have that kind of weight. I'm here to wish people a happy birthday. I'm here because, as I have written many times before, I'm not good at letting go. The information on Facebook gives me a momentary glimpse into the lives of my former students, colleagues, friends, relatives, and people who live near and far, almost all of whom I do not get to see regularly.

A friend said to me that he thought Facebook was problematic because it provided the illusion of closeness. We get some photos or words and thus feel connected when we should really pick up the phone or go visit someone. It is a cheat and a trap. I see his point.

But I am not sure I would or could have personal contact with many of my Facebook friends. That isn’t to say I wouldn’t want to, but it is not feasible. Sometimes all I really want or need is a picture or a few words. Sometimes, I call and we go out for lunch or a walk. There is a place for both.

I love meeting up with friends. Yet, many of my Facebook relationships are not that kind. Our connection on Facebook is superficial – and that is enough. It makes me feel happy to just think of you and get a tiny window into your experience.

And for that I am very thankful.

The Power and the Person in the Post

Why do we choose to share what we post on Facebook, Twitter or other forms of social media? While it is evident why people share good news announcements like births, engagements, and graduations, why do we see pictures of food, pets, and home improvement projects?

I started thinking of this question when my daughter began to show me a young person’s Facebook page that focused on highly materialistic things. The page in question was filled with pictures of purchases, status symbol items (cars, jewelry, etc.), and “don’t I look good” statements. Although it was easy to condemn and criticize, it made me think about my choices of posts.

Clearly, the young person in question wants us to admire her. She wants us to see her the way she wants to see herself: attractive, pretty, wealthy, and successful. She is self-esteem building by status statement. The posts that I saw had comments that reinforced the image she was working so hard to project.

Posts are very difficult for me. Sometimes, I believe I overthink what I am posting. I ask myself if what I put on Facebook and Twitter is something worthy of the people with whom I am sharing it. I worry about what it says about me.

I know someone else whose posts are liberal bait. She puts forth an extremely conservative message and then reels in the outraged and passionate arguments that inevitably follow. It is all about the fight with this person. She wants the conflict. She likes stirring it up. Her conservative persona is less about political ideology and more about attention. If I say something that will get you all riled up, you will engage with me.

Certainly, many people use social media as a means of sharing personal news. Posts relay the same things we used to share before the PTA meeting, or while waiting for the religious service to start, or standing in line at the farmers market. These posts are combinations of the “wish you were here” postcard and the cute holiday photo. They say I’m still here. We’re doing okay. Don’t forget about us.

Some posts are dramatic: breakups, illnesses, disasters, and downers. These posts are vents and commiserations. By sharing the bad news, the poster receives sympathy and even offers of assistance. The alarm is sounded and, hopefully, the cavalry arrives.

Some posts are questions and community connections. They ask if we can recommend services or relay issues faced by the community. My homeowners association has benefited by creating a Facebook page where neighbors can have digital conversations.

We want to be heard. We want to express ourselves. We want to communicate. We want to discover who we are and who we can become – and we are a little curious if what we see in the mirror matches what others see through the window.

Although there are occasional discussions, most responses to Facebook posts are affirmations, confirmations, or exclamations. They reflect the feelings and message of the post rather than challenge or add to it. So like so many other forms of communication, these posts are really about us. They are expressions of self.

I wonder if our posts could be more. As I read posts about important social issues, I wonder if social media could be a stronger force for discussion and dialog. I have read about how people in other countries have used social media to reform governments and create social justice.

My views have changed, and my eyes opened by what my Facebook friends have shared. Recent events have proven that ideas shared on social media can have real impact on politics and policy.

Our posts are about us as individuals and, more and more, us as a society. We are advertising our values and our view of ourselves. Are my posts a good snapshot of me? Is that picture complete or correct? Does it match how I see myself? Now you see why I perseverate before I post! 

Eight Rules to Prevent Public Self-Stimulation

It must have been an interesting sight; from the performer’s point of view, the three people at the back of the recital hall were looking at their laps, making small movements with their arms and hands, and periodically smiling and sighing. What might they be doing?

If you are thinking what you might be thinking, you aren’t far from correct. Although it would not get them arrested, they were involved in the new socially acceptable form of self-stimulation: use of their smart phones.

I was sitting next to them. While every singer in the recital may not have ready for Orchestra Hall, none deserved to be upstaged by texting, solitaire, or Facebook. And while they may have only been there to watch one performer, when that child was done, the polite and respectful thing to do would be to quietly listen to other singers. Their act was not as egregious as public masturbation, but it was inappropriate and rude nonetheless.

Smart phones are ubiquitous. Despite the constant reminders to turn them off, they ring in cinemas, theaters, religious services, and other inappropriate places. Worse, people use them in ways that are distracting, disrespectful, and dangerous. Why do they do this? Why can’t we keep our hands off our phones?

I am a gadget guy. I like electronic toys. I understand how much fun it is to have a new phone and explore the new tools it presents. However, smart phone novelty does not seem to wear off for some people. The rude use of smart phones is not about the gee-whiz factor.

Blackberries were called crackberries because their users became addicted to them. Is that what is happening? Do we feel compelled to check our emails, text messages, Facebook posts, and fantasy sports leagues? Do we start to sweat and shake if we aren’t connected to the people who aren’t physically in front of us? Do we worry that our clients or followers will leave us if we don’t reply to them immediately? While some people may have jobs that require constant communication, I do not think that staying in touch is the key cause either.

Frequently, I see children with smart phones or tablets in restaurants. Their parents often have them out while pushing the kiddies in the strollers. They are all over subway trains. Why do we feel the need to finger our devices or give them to our children?

Many of us are building up a tolerance for real world engagement. The actual physically present world is not enough. It does not provide us with the gratification and entertainment that our electronics do when we jack in.

Our public use of smart phones and other electronics is a sign that people no longer find adequate stimulation in the environment around them. The movie (even if it is on a huge IMAX screen) is not entertaining enough. We must text. The dinner, lecture, service, or conversation pales in comparison to Candy Crush.

What do we do about this? We could increase the razzle-dazzle of day-to-day life. We could have video cells on our clothing; we could play music from our shoes and project engaging images from our bow ties. We could amp up the real world so it competes more favorably with the little screen in our laps.

Or we could exercise self-control. After all, we don’t have people masturbating or having sex in public even though that would be more “interesting” than boring old mundane life.

So here are eight suggestions for polite and appropriate use of smart phones:

1. Do not use smart phones when there are people physically present: interact with them.

2. Do not check email, texts, or other forms of communication in public. Move to a private area and wash your hands afterward.

3. Keep your phone on silent when you are with other people. Set your default ringtone to silent and only assign ring tones to people whose calls would be important enough to answer right away.

4. No phones on the table. A phone on the table means you are waiting to use it. When we are eating or meeting, phones should be out of sight and hearing!

5. Never let your electronics come between you and an interpersonal interaction. Would you like someone to step between you and the person with whom you were talking? That would be rude! Don’t let your phone do that either. Why is the phone more important than a live person in front of you?

6. Be considerate about how your use of electronics may affect others around you. While you may feel alone in the theater, your texting is distracting to the other members of the audience.

7. Pledge to never touch your phone while you are the driver in a car. Insist the same of anyone driving a car in which you are riding. Reinforce this rule with young drivers.

8. Talk about cell phone use when it comes up. Ask the person who has whipped out his phone, “Why do you think people are constantly on their phones?” While this may seem difficult and even rude, is it as rude as the act of letting the phone interrupt the conversation? Perhaps the person on the phone’s child is ill, or his parent is in the hospital. That provides an opportunity for real human interaction. If he is just checking the Cubs score, it says that you were just too boring. You need to know that. So does he.

Let’s think about why we feel compelled to use our phones. Let’s critically examine how phones are affecting our relationships and our public environments. Let’s reassess our need for stimulation. And let’s reconnect to each other, and bring back a sense of public responsibility, decency, and discourse.