For Me, Social Media is About the People

Dear Friends, 

Social media has been much maligned recently and for good reason. I know that many people use Facebook, Instagram, and other online services to get their news, make political statements, market their businesses, and spread all sorts of things that might be called information. As you know, I have experimented with doing some of these things. However, the reason I am writing this is to let you know the real reason I stay on social media: I love thinking about you.

Seeing your photo, comment, post, or whatever reminds me of you. It makes me smile. I fully understand that getting together and actually having a face-to-face conversation would be more authentic and substantial. But let’s be honest, if I went for meals, walks, meet-ups, or gatherings with all my friends online, that would probably become all I would have the time or energy to do – and then there are the issues of distance and COVID. Social media is superficial contact, but it is much better than none at all. 

I rejoice with you when special things happen, empathize with you when there are struggles and losses, and remember our time together. For many of us, we shared school together. I am not the person I was in middle or high school or even college. I am not the cocky kid who started teaching at Deerfield High School thirty-some years ago. It is clear that all of us are growing up and growing old and that is a good thing. I liked you then. I like who you are becoming and it is delightful to get a little glimpse into your present person. 

Yes, there are times when I don’t understand what you post. While this is more often true of my younger friends, it is not exclusively so. I also need to note that my “younger” former students are increasingly closer to my age than I would have thought possible when I started teaching. 

Sometimes, I worry about you. Sometimes, I sent you private messages to check my understanding of what you posted. Sometimes I don’t because I cling to the idea that I probably misunderstood what you posted and I don’t want to pry into the details. I don’t want anyone to think that big teacher is watching. I don’t even have administrators to report to anymore! 

Sometimes, I disagree with you. I don’t often tell you so. I have not found social media to be a good platform for complex discussion. More often, I want to know more. You probably don’t know it, but many of you have sent me researching topics, learning about different points of view, and reading, reading, reading! Thank goodness, I love reading. 

I will admit that I get a twinge when there are significant proofing errors in your writing. I am still a former English teacher. I get much more than a twinge when those significant issues are in your thinking. There have been several times when I have wanted to provide a refresher on logic, critical thinking, evaluation, attribution, credibility of sources, or other topics I am certain we covered in class. The teacher hat never completely comes off, although it does transform. I don’t want to be too “teacherly” online, even if some of my friends still won’t use my first name. 

Like it was when we saw each other in person, our relationship is complex. Because it is primarily expressed in quick snatches of text and images, it has also become somewhat telegraphic. Small symbols may have big meanings. I do read between the lines and I am always trying to figure out if the meanings I intuit are correct. Sometimes I ask. Often, I do not. 

While there may be many people who have been horribly misled by social media, I hope my friends are not among them. I hope you are safe and healthy. I hope you are vaccinated (sorry, that is one of my big worries for my friends - if it feels political to you, that is another conversation). I hope you and the people you hold dear are doing well. I love seeing photos of your special people and sharing the good feelings that come with them. I hope you had a healthy and peaceful holiday season. 

I try not to spend too much time in front of the computer if I can help it. So I know, too, that I miss things. Sometimes I only see a post when someone else comments on it, when it is reposted, or if it is brought to my attention. Please don’t assume that, since you put it online, I saw it. We all know that social media has an odd algorithm that puts some posts higher up than others. If you want me to see something, please send it to me by messenger or email! 

I want to repeat that, for me, social media is social. Seeing you is what it is about for me. I don’t get my news from Facebook. I don’t form or debate my political views online. You know me – I read! I am an RSS-aholic and I am always putting aside articles to read later – even though I am reading a great deal each day. I am never up to date! I share some of the articles I read each month on this blog. 

Finally, thank you. Thank you for making me smile when you pop up on my computer. Thank you for keeping our relationship alive. Thank you for the connection. 

It matters a lot to me because you matter a lot to me.