Traveling with Children

As my family and I got on the last leg of our almost twenty-four hour journey home, we heard the all too familiar wail of a crying child. My father joked that every plane is equipped with one. If you have a flight without a crying kid, you will get two the next time.

The child was screaming, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Her father was visibly frustrated. If their journey had been anything like ours, I understood how tired that child might be. However, as soon as the child got mommy, she started to scream, “Daddy! Daddy” Daddy!” That clued me in that this tantrum might be more than common fatigue.

For the next three and half hours, this toddler screamed, often in pitches that I could only detect by feeling the windows vibrate. Her parents walked her up and down the aisles, offered her crayons, toys, and treats. Nothing worked.

I was traveling with my two children, who were considerably older than the screamer. Yet, they have been on planes since they were infants. We are fortunate enough to have the means to travel a few times a year and my kids have become wonderful travelers.

There is a trick to it. My wife and I were very deliberate about how we handled traveling with the kids. We found that the keys were good planning, balancing adult and child needs, practice, and a lot of backbone!

We learned this the hard way. When our daughter was about nine months old, we took her to Quebec. It was awful. I remember quietly huddling behind a screen in a tiny hotel room praying that she would go to sleep and exiting a restaurant with our food in bags because my child could no longer sit still in the high chair.

Taking an infant on a vacation is strenuous. I have changed diapers on laps, in airplane lavatories, and the open spaces near doors. I have schlepped diaper bags that weighed more than my checked luggage. And who could forget dragging car seats and strollers through the narrow aisles of an airplane!

We learned the travel tricks. When our kids were young, I planned for the travel like I was putting together a lesson plan. I had videos (long before there were laptops or portable video player; I rigged my camcorder to work in reverse and put Sesame Street into it!), books, music, treats, games, and more ready to go. Diaper changing (and later potty breaks) were part of the schedule. I had spare clothes, extra diapers, pull ups, and always a wrapped surprise. They never knew when it would come, but it was a great motivation to stay with the program.

Someone had suggested giving our daughter Benadryl on the plane, so she would sleep. I called the doctor and she wisely suggested a test run first. To my child, it was rocket fuel. Drugging kids on the plane may be tempting, but if your goal is to help your kids become good travelers, it defeats the purpose.

As the kids got older, the key was to give them more responsibility for the planning. My children would pack their own bags (and carry them) that contained their favorite activities. I still brought little extras and surprises. I hit upon travel and card games and those became the focus of our longer journeys. Yes, my kids would also bring movies and music and those were great. The real saviors were books! My kids would read through very long journeys. It was profoundly ironic when, on a four-hour car ride through the Arizona desert, I stuck my head in the backseat to say to my kids, “Put down the darn books and look at the beautiful scenery!”

The journey may be half the fun, but the other half must be child friendly too. When our kids were young, we picked travel spots that had kid appeal. Quebec did not. There had to be a kids club or kid activities at resorts or kid friendly attractions when we were touring. Our schedule revolved around their home schedule. When they were young, we always stopped for nap-time. Kids travel better when they aren’t tired. We stayed in places that had kitchenettes or rented condominiums and prepared many meals in or took out from places to avoid the long waits in restaurants and the $16 grilled cheese sandwiches! We loved hotels with buffets because they provided everyone with choices and moved quickly. All hotels had to have a pool!

Our entire family (including grandparents) just returned from a tour of Alaska. We had many new experiences and getting home took almost an entire day. My kids were great! I remember an old Plugger cartoon that showed two weary parents walking away from the baggage claim with suitcases and kids under their arms. The caption read, “After the trip, pluggers need a vacation.” I can honestly say that traveling with my children may sometimes be a trip, but it is always a vacation!