You have the god-given right to march into the most hallowed halls of our country and defecate wherever you want! You know that the election was stolen because trusted sources have repeated this to you since long before the election itself. You knew this would happen! You called it! You are so prophetic. You are like people from the Bible.
If others disagree with you it is because they have been brainwashed by the media, turned into sheep by powerful forces, or are simply evil and anti-American. They watch the wrong channels. If they would just open their eyes, they would see – like you.
You are judge, jury, soldier, avenger, scholar, and savior all rolled up in one incredible mass of awesome sauce.
While others live in clouded delusions, you have divined the secret conspiracies that threatened your prominence as the master race, the guns that make you feel safe, and the rule of your favorite television reality show star. You are blessed.
How dare they! How dare they take steal an election? How dare they think they are above the law? If they are going to attempt these terrible sins, then your only recourse, your best way of righting these horrendous wrongs is to pick up those guns and steal it back – and kill them.
Nothing else will work. They have not listened to the oracles on television and social media. They have blasphemed against the man who was smart enough not to pay taxes and will therefore save us all. So they should be fired and fired upon. And you must do it. You and your friends, who are the best and the most patriotic Americans who have ever walked this precious land.
And this has nothing to do with race! That is a distraction and diversion from those evil people who riot and kneel during the national anthem! They don’t love the flag like you do! You wear the flag like a warm blanket. You paint it on your skin like the people who lived on this land before us, but never understood how great this country could be. But you do!
They are public servants and you are their masters! If they do not obey you, they deserve to be beaten or hanged! If the brainwashed sheep won’t save this great country, you will be the wolf who blows down their house of lies! They should be grateful.
There are bad people. There are lots of bad people. They are everywhere. Some of them are out in the open, but many are hiding in the shadows. Many are powerful. Many are not Christian. Fortunately, you have the secret decoder ring to identify, capture, beat, and kill them. You are gifted.
You do not need scientists or masks or vaccinations. Which is another one of their hoaxes! It is a fake crisis they are using to distract and justify their heinous actions. The numbers are inflated. The doctors are compromised. It is all a plot to take away our freedom. But you will rescue it! You will save us all – no mask needed. You are a superhero!
And their vaccine is made from dead babies! You’ll never take it. Besides, soon we’ll have herd immunity since all those other people will take it. It’s okay for them to take it, but you would never defile your body with something so impure and profane.
There is no way the election was lost. Everyone you know voted like you. Everyone who voted like you supports you. You are their representative. They voted for the same person you did and now you are their election avenger! You work for them and they belong to you. They wanted to do this but were not awesome enough. You will do it for them.
For the sake of our democracy, for the sake of all you hold dear, you will stop at nothing. You have no doubts. You have never been wrong about important things like this. You will not hesitate. You will not listen to their lies. It is your way or we burn it all down.
We should thank god for you. God would approve. Jesus would do the same thing. He was in favor of violence and hate. His message was one of political revolution, right? You are a modern-day messiah creating a new holy land.
Who wouldn’t want to be you?
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