Seven Situations

Situation 1:

“It’s time for bed.”
“No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“YES, it IS!”

“NO, it is NOT!”

Have you ever had this kind of “argument” with a toddler (or a non-toddler)? You can’t win. It isn’t an argument. It is contradiction. It is like that wonderful argument sketch from Monty Python. It is not an argument, it is merely contradiction.  

Situation 2:

Many people don’t go to the doctor or the dentist for one reason: they are worried there is an issue, but don’t want that concern to be verified. In other words, they think something might be wrong, but if they don’t get an expert to tell them they are correct, then they don’t have to face the problem. Therefore, since there isn’t a problem if they don’t get it confirmed and thus there is no need to face the consequences of dealing with it. Problem solved!

Situation 3:

Back to small children: when my child was quite young, she would mix up feeling and thinking. She would say, “I think that Nana is coming over” when her grandmother was not scheduled to visit. What she really meant was, “I want Nana to come over.” It was her wish. However, she assumed that, if she wishes it, it would come true! To paraphrase Pirandello: it will happen if you want it to happen. This is sometimes referred to as magical or wishful thinking.

Situation 4:

According to Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development, if someone is at a preconventional stage of development, then things are morally wrong only if someone catches you doing them. In other words, if you commit a crime, it is only bad if you are caught and punished for it. If you are not found out, then there is no problem. The problem is not the immoral act, it is the revelation of it.  If you aren’t caught, you aren’t wrong!

Situation 5:

Some friends used to shush me in restaurants if veal was on the menu. As a vegetarian, I don’t eat meat. Under most circumstances, I don’t try to convince people to eat the way I do, but veal is the exception to the rule. When they started to order, some people would try to get the veal orderer to choose something else. Others would say to me, “We know, we know, just don’t say anything.” The idea here is that if we are not reminded of a problematic fact, we can ignore it. Veal will taste good and is an acceptable choice as long as we put the ugly truth out of our minds. It is delicious as long as we close our eyes (and minds).

Situation 6:

Have you ever heard a new song and taken an instant dislike to it? Later, you heard it a second, then a third, then a fourth time and soon, you are beginning to see what others see in it. After hearing it many times, you start to like it, even though you did not initially. Is it that you like it or you are now getting used to it?

Advertisers use a similar concept: if you hear something often enough, you will both retain and believe it. Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day, Listerine doesn’t kill germs that cause bad breath, and Duracell batteries don’t last longer. Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propagandist, is quoted as saying that, if you repeat a lie enough, people will eventually believe it.

Situation 7:

People are driving cars into crowds. Bullies are hurting children. Dictators are killing people. You say that there is blame on many sides and refuse to take a side.

You have taken a side.