Name Blame

It is completely my fault. My memory is not what I wish it would be. I would like to have every student’s name at the tip of my mind. When I bump into a former student or see a student from a few years ago in the hall, I want to be able to call them by the correct name immediately.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen all the time. I used to be proud of how often I could get students’ names right. Now, I am starting to struggle. I usually remember the student – or parent or classmate or neighbor – but my mouth doesn’t always keep pace with my memory. I know the person, but the name lags behind.

To make it worse, if I mixed up two students’ names when they were in class, that confusion sticks forever. The mix up may have nothing to do with looks. If I was not able to cure myself of saying Sarah when I met Carrie or saying Carrie when I meant Sarah when we shared class, I am going to take this bad habit with me.

And I don’t think that Sarah IS Carrie! I know the difference! This is not about knowing the person; this is about slipping and calling them the wrong name. I often know that I have blown it immediately. My memory is late.

There were two boys in one of my classes last year and I worked hard to not mix them up. But in the hall a few weeks ago, I blew it. Later, the one whose name I used (incorrectly) said to me, “I heard you called Brett my name.” Yup! I did! I knew it wasn’t you. I can tell you and Brett apart. It wasn’t that I get the two of you confused, I had a memory glitch!

Unfortunately, the problem is getting worse. The more names in my head, the more likely I am going to mess them up. The other night, I went to a restaurant and a recent graduate was there. I couldn’t remember her name. I was only moderately consoled that my wife couldn’t remember her name either. You guessed it; I remembered her name moment she left.

Maybe this is just a slowing down of mental agility. As I am getting older, I am struggling to get the name from my brain to my tongue fast enough. Maybe it is a volume problem. I have taught several thousand students and met even more parents. Add my own classmates and the numbers are staggering.

Which is why I am so grateful for Facebook and Instagram. Former students, parents, and classmates with whom I am connected via social media help me get ready for these meetings. Of course, I am not friends with current students, but once they are out of my current class, I could use the help. I have about 140 students in class right now, but I have more than 300 former students roaming the halls! Keeping all that in my head is task enough!

I have thirty-two yearbooks on my shelf at home and every so often I use them. I went to a gathering and caught a glimpse of a former student. I knew what class he was in. I remembered his senior project. I recalled the room in which we studied together. I just couldn’t come up with his name! I went back to the yearbook and found him instantly. In fact, I had his first name before I had his photograph. I was just a day late.  

I apologize. I blush! I hate getting names wrong! I wish I had a big yearbook of just my people. Perhaps I should rehearse and review names on a daily basis. Would that be enough to keep my old mind in shape?

Excuses aside, I am coming to terms with saying, “You are going to have to help me with your name.” I am so grateful for the reconnections that start with, “I’m so-in-so.” Of course, you are. The blame is mine. Nonetheless, I am so glad to see you!