Treating the Symptoms and Hurting the Children

Our lawmakers struggle with many issues. On the news, there are debates about countless issues that are unarguably important.  In private conversations, on social media, and over coffee and drinks, we complain and play armchair president. If only they did this. How could they do that? The answer is so clear, why can’t others see it?

The more I listen, the more I come to one conclusion: underlying almost all of our country’s difficulties is one issue that we want to avoid. Perhaps because it is too large or it is so wrapped up with key American values, we are willing to focus on the symptoms and don’t face the disease.

Whether you love or hate the new affordable healthcare act, often called “Obamacare,” we will all agree that there were and still are issues with the way we structure healthcare. The cost is problematic for almost everyone. Access to healthcare is another piece of this problem. If many in our society do not get adequate healthcare, there are ramifications for all of us. Many will argue with the solution, but can you argue that there is a problem?

We are testing our students to death. Our means of solving a supposed crisis in education is to invent more achievement vehicles. We wring our hands about teacher accountability, tenure, standards, our world standing, and other issues. These are important concerns. However, consistently some schools succeed and others struggle. We know why. It is highly predictable.

We talk about guns, but only some of us face daily violence in our streets and neighborhoods. Tougher laws and penalties, but not stricter gun regulations, have negligible effects. We turn to our criminal justice system, pass unforgiving laws, and put more and more people in prison. In some places, everyone knows a person behind bars. In other places, it is merely a topic of theoretical speculation.

Why do we worry about illegal immigrants coming into our country? They certainly use our schools, jails, and appear in our emergency rooms and doctors’ offices. Is that the real reason? We employ them to do tasks that we either don’t want to do or which we can pay an illegal wage for them to do. They are second-class non-citizens.

An unwanted pregnancy is a difficult problem. However, it is not the same problem for everyone. For some, it is a medical issue. For others, it is a moral question. For some, it is a choice, and for others, it is another mouth to feed. We can argue about abortion rights or wrongs, but is there anyone who would want children to go hungry?

Should these children be blamed for their parents’ situations? What happens when they go to school? What happens when they get sick? Might they be angry at the cards they have been unfairly dealt? What opportunities will they have? Is the system rigged against them?

Underneath most of the problems that plague us is the same issue: poverty. It is the problem we refuse to face. Americans are all about self-reliance. We begrudge drowning people even a simple life preserver. For many, the poor live far away in both distance and mind. They are theoretical and hypothetical; a subject of debate and discussion more than real people struggling to take care of their children.

Yet, most of the items on our public agenda are closely connected to poverty. Why are avoiding that fact? By addressing poverty, we would also address healthcare, education, immigration, violence, abortion, and many other social issues. But we don’t do that.

It is not an easy task, but we need to stop the bickering, dickering, and delaying. We need to say to our legislators: Take care of the children, and end poverty.

That is the key: Take care of the children, and end poverty. The rest is commentary.

The Push and Pull of Parenting

I have to fight the desire to keep my family in the house and by my side all the time. While the rational side of me knows that my children must be allowed to drive the car, socialize with their friends, and travel overseas, the irrational side of me keeps asking, “what if…?” That irrational side thinks that I must be near them or the horrible “what if” scenarios might come true.

It was wonderful to see my son after he returned from a three-week trip to France. I  missed him. I hadn’t worried much, but now that he was back, I was keenly aware of avoided peril.  After we got home from the airport, he came into my room, where I was reading, and sat down next to me. Soon, since he had been on a plane all day and was seven hours ahead of us, he fell asleep on me. My teenager hasn’t fallen asleep on me since he was a toddler, but there we were.

I didn’t wake him. I didn’t want to. I had been anticipating his return, but now I was even more aware of his vulnerability and frailty. For those few minutes, I wanted to keep him a sleeping child by my side forever. For a little while, I savored being his protector.

But it is an illusion. It is a beautiful illusion that fills me with a joy so powerful, I feel as though I may burst. Yet even as I am aware of my desire to wrap my child in my arms and hold him there forever, I know that doesn’t stop bad things from happening.  I know that I cannot protect him, even as he sleeps by my side. I know that pain and problems are inevitable – and important, and he will not be a fully mature person until he is able to cope with them.

And I don’t want to face that. I want to believe that I have the power to keep my sleeping child from ever confronting the many issues that would break our hearts. He is dreaming, and I am fighting my desire to take up residence in a dream world.

We can talk about resilience. We can extol the virtues of failure and freedom. Yet I would wager that every parent has consciously fought the overprotecting instinct. It is an important and difficult battle. My child may be driving the car, shopping for colleges, and shaving his chin, but I still want to believe that I am his barrier from all that might hurt him. I never have been. I never will be. But I want to be.

I fully understand why some parents call too often, do too much, and hover like the cliché helicopter.

That is the push and pull of parenting. I don’t want to back so far away that I become a distant figure. I don’t want to wrap him in layers of protection so that he can’t feel anything. I don’t want to smother and direct and therefore rob him of independence and agency.

Yet, I don’t want to feel the pain of his pain. Ultimately, I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to let either of us do anything that would separate us. Yet, we are separate. He will go to Europe. He will go to college. He will get in the car and drive away.

And I will be anxiously awaiting his return.

All Tricks, No Tweets: Looking Back at The School Year

At this time of year, I often the tweets from my classes as a way of summarizing the school year. However, I gradually realized that the way I was using Twitter was not effective and my classes and I stopped tweeting mid-year.

So I need another way to look back at the 2013-2014 school year and reflect. As the second week of summer break ends, I have the distance to look back and evaluate this year.

My daughter left for Africa just as the school year was starting. I was anxious and excited for her. Until she returned, I was not aware how those feelings weighed on me like thirty extra pounds.

It was hot when school started, and the heat didn’t leave. My three Freshman English classes (yes, three of them – that is probably a stressor, too) were in two different classrooms. One of these was so hot we started meeting in an air-conditioned science lab instead.

In early September, Chromebooks came to my classes! I had to figure out how to integrate them into our learning. The kids and I tried various strategies. It was clear that planning for Chromebooks took much more time. It took more than a month to discover approaches that worked. Although I spent the year adjusting and refining our use of Chromebooks, the first quarter was by far the most difficult.

In October, my daughter called at 6am to tell me there had been a terrorist attack at the shopping mall less than two kilometers from her apartment. That was when I started getting less sleep. Fortunately, that gave me more time to do the additional planning that Chromebooks required.

It was around that time that the behavioral issues in my last period class became problematic. One student would sabotage other students’ performances. Some students held it together all day long and, by last period, had no glue left. I had some very young and some very needy students. It was a less-than-perfect storm. I created some strong management structures to help them focus.

There were wonderful movements and it did get easier. The Chromebooks are very positive additions to the classroom. My classes were filled with great kids! Our wonderful teacher from the Czech Republic was a fantastic addition to our narrow Deerfield world.  My daughter came back to the states. We established a Chromebook routine.

Winter came, and we had more snow days than ever before. Earlier we were too hot. Now were too cold and there was a ton of snow. The schedule became a challenge when we missed a day, part of a day, or had to put a day back into the schedule!

Spring is always stressful, but it was more so this year. As kids register, courses fill or are dropped, and teachers receive their assignments. The quality of a year is strongly influenced by these decisions. The overall process was more painful and problematic than it has ever been in my twenty-eight years in the district. There were meetings upon meetings. Jobs were cut and then some reinstated. Courses were cut and some were brought back and some were combined. When I asked if we could get an outline of the process and the criteria by which these decisions were made, I was told it was not possible. No wonder our district is currently in turmoil.

Now it is summer, and I look toward next year. This cyclical process is one of the wonderful things about being a teacher. I get to try again. I get to expand on my successes and have another chance at my challenges. I do school planning in little bites each day. I spent an hour or so scheduling, reading, and of course, reflecting on how to make next year better.

Next year will be better. Next year is almost always better. And knowing about the bumps and bright spots from this year gives me even more tools to make 2014-2015, my twenty-ninth year at Deerfield High School, the best year yet.

Eight Rules to Prevent Public Self-Stimulation

It must have been an interesting sight; from the performer’s point of view, the three people at the back of the recital hall were looking at their laps, making small movements with their arms and hands, and periodically smiling and sighing. What might they be doing?

If you are thinking what you might be thinking, you aren’t far from correct. Although it would not get them arrested, they were involved in the new socially acceptable form of self-stimulation: use of their smart phones.

I was sitting next to them. While every singer in the recital may not have ready for Orchestra Hall, none deserved to be upstaged by texting, solitaire, or Facebook. And while they may have only been there to watch one performer, when that child was done, the polite and respectful thing to do would be to quietly listen to other singers. Their act was not as egregious as public masturbation, but it was inappropriate and rude nonetheless.

Smart phones are ubiquitous. Despite the constant reminders to turn them off, they ring in cinemas, theaters, religious services, and other inappropriate places. Worse, people use them in ways that are distracting, disrespectful, and dangerous. Why do they do this? Why can’t we keep our hands off our phones?

I am a gadget guy. I like electronic toys. I understand how much fun it is to have a new phone and explore the new tools it presents. However, smart phone novelty does not seem to wear off for some people. The rude use of smart phones is not about the gee-whiz factor.

Blackberries were called crackberries because their users became addicted to them. Is that what is happening? Do we feel compelled to check our emails, text messages, Facebook posts, and fantasy sports leagues? Do we start to sweat and shake if we aren’t connected to the people who aren’t physically in front of us? Do we worry that our clients or followers will leave us if we don’t reply to them immediately? While some people may have jobs that require constant communication, I do not think that staying in touch is the key cause either.

Frequently, I see children with smart phones or tablets in restaurants. Their parents often have them out while pushing the kiddies in the strollers. They are all over subway trains. Why do we feel the need to finger our devices or give them to our children?

Many of us are building up a tolerance for real world engagement. The actual physically present world is not enough. It does not provide us with the gratification and entertainment that our electronics do when we jack in.

Our public use of smart phones and other electronics is a sign that people no longer find adequate stimulation in the environment around them. The movie (even if it is on a huge IMAX screen) is not entertaining enough. We must text. The dinner, lecture, service, or conversation pales in comparison to Candy Crush.

What do we do about this? We could increase the razzle-dazzle of day-to-day life. We could have video cells on our clothing; we could play music from our shoes and project engaging images from our bow ties. We could amp up the real world so it competes more favorably with the little screen in our laps.

Or we could exercise self-control. After all, we don’t have people masturbating or having sex in public even though that would be more “interesting” than boring old mundane life.

So here are eight suggestions for polite and appropriate use of smart phones:

1. Do not use smart phones when there are people physically present: interact with them.

2. Do not check email, texts, or other forms of communication in public. Move to a private area and wash your hands afterward.

3. Keep your phone on silent when you are with other people. Set your default ringtone to silent and only assign ring tones to people whose calls would be important enough to answer right away.

4. No phones on the table. A phone on the table means you are waiting to use it. When we are eating or meeting, phones should be out of sight and hearing!

5. Never let your electronics come between you and an interpersonal interaction. Would you like someone to step between you and the person with whom you were talking? That would be rude! Don’t let your phone do that either. Why is the phone more important than a live person in front of you?

6. Be considerate about how your use of electronics may affect others around you. While you may feel alone in the theater, your texting is distracting to the other members of the audience.

7. Pledge to never touch your phone while you are the driver in a car. Insist the same of anyone driving a car in which you are riding. Reinforce this rule with young drivers.

8. Talk about cell phone use when it comes up. Ask the person who has whipped out his phone, “Why do you think people are constantly on their phones?” While this may seem difficult and even rude, is it as rude as the act of letting the phone interrupt the conversation? Perhaps the person on the phone’s child is ill, or his parent is in the hospital. That provides an opportunity for real human interaction. If he is just checking the Cubs score, it says that you were just too boring. You need to know that. So does he.

Let’s think about why we feel compelled to use our phones. Let’s critically examine how phones are affecting our relationships and our public environments. Let’s reassess our need for stimulation. And let’s reconnect to each other, and bring back a sense of public responsibility, decency, and discourse.

Fifty Candles

In John Hughes’ teenage classic, Sixteen Candles, Molly Ringwald’s character, Samantha Baker believes that everyone has forgotten her sixteenth birthday. And while I don’t want to ignore my birthday, I am not sure that it merits a big deal. So for my fiftieth birthday, here are fifty thoughts about turning fifty, aging, and celebrating birthdays:

1. My children’s birthdays are the real big deal. Those are the birthdays that I really mark and care about. So perhaps my birthday isn’t just mine. It is my parents’.

2. I like using birthdays as a means of staying in touch. Whether by a quick Facebook acknowledgement, a card, or phone call, birthdays give me a chance to say, “I am thinking about you, and I still care!”

3. Other families have elaborate birthday rituals. My family never did – and I didn’t miss that. Some people love to be the center of attention and some do not. 

4. I don’t see my fiftieth birthday as a significant landmark. It is not that different from my forty-ninth or fifty-first birthdays. I don’t believe that fifty is the new thirty.

5. Birthday presents are not important to me. People are important to me. 

6. For the past decade or so, nature’s gift has been a cleaner head, a few more pounds, and an extra awareness of minor ailments. If that is what birthdays are, I certainly don’t need them.

7. I hear there is a colonoscopy in my future. Joy.

8. I am already a member of AARP (thanks to my wife turning fifty ahead of me) and it doesn’t bother me at all. I like the coupons and discounts.

9. Thank you for reading my blog. That is a great birthday present!

10. One of my friends dislikes Facebook because he contends that it gives us a false sense of connection. We see each other’s posts and then don’t feel the need to make “real” contact. If birthdays are a reason to make more substantive contact, that is a good thing.

11. I still think that a superficial acknowledgement of special events is better than no acknowledgment at all.

12. My English department has a birthday buddy tradition that some of my colleagues find onerous. I like being a buddy and organizing a little celebration for someone. I like when my birthday is acknowledged. When my buddy forgot one year, I was surprised how disappointed I felt.

13. I don’t believe in wishes. I believe in goals. And I don’t need candles to make them.  

14. I am terrible at acknowledging my students’ birthdays. Even when they were on the assignment sheet, I was so focused on the lesson, that the birthdays were often neglected.

15. When I do remember, I use this little song: “This is your birthday song. It isn’t very long.”

16. There is a second verse to this ditty: “This is the second verse. It’s shorter than the first.”

17. I do not feel old. I do not feel older than I did last year or the year before. I don’t remember the year before that.

18. I am occasionally surprised when I look in a mirror or see an old picture of myself.

19. When I see pictures of my parents in their thirties, forties, or fifties, I notice how young they look. However, my parents still look young. I hope those genes kick in sometime soon.

20. My children are getting older. My students are getting married and having babies. That is what aging feels like to me.

21. I am looking forward to time travel. Which means I am looking forward to going back.

22. Am I the only one who is a little grossed out eating a cake that someone has blown over?

23. I bumped into a student recently and I didn’t recognize her. I usually do. However, she looked so grown up. It was hard to see the fourteen-year-old child in the woman holding a toddler. I better get used to this.

24. Former students: when we bump into each other, tell me who you are right away, please. I will be increasingly grateful for that.

25. I can’t go on the really good rides at the amusement park any more. I can barely do roller coasters. The Superman ride is particularly bad because I feel like I am a doggie on all fours.

26. Some of my friends from school look exactly the same as I remember them. I am coming to hate that.

27. Some of my friends from school look older than I do. I think that is very polite. It is really nice when my former students look my age or older.

28. I feel like I have caught up to my former teachers and professors.

29. My first students are in their forties. We are now in very similar places in our lives. Does this shock them as much as it shocks me?

30. My former students’ children are at Deerfield High School. None has yet been in my classroom. That will be a real birthday milestone. I fear it is going to happen soon.

31. My current students are perpetually fourteen through eighteen. This gives me a false sense of time standing still.

32. I am very aware of time when I make a pop culture reference and they don’t get it. If I ask them, “Where is the beef?” or note they are getting “two mints in one,” I get nothing but blank stares.

33. The past was neither “golden” nor “good old.” I believe things are getting better. The times are not perfect, but progress is happening.

34. Biology is destiny. We can take only a small amount of credit for how we age.

35. As of next year, I will be the teacher in our school with the most seniority. And I am only fifty. Of course I started teaching when I was twelve.

36. I don’t care how old I am, or how old my children are, I love putting them to bed. 

37. I am not looking forward to having an “empty nest.” I have been told I will like it. I don’t want to.

38. The days are long. The years are short.

39. The other day, I started to say, “I have little kids.” I surprised myself. Sometimes I see my children as nearly adults. Sometimes I miss the little people they were.

40. I do want grandchildren – but not yet.

41. The only bad thing about going bald is having to wear a hat in the sun. Sunburn on the top of the scalp is unpleasant.

42. This is a special number and therefore needs no further comment.

43. I do not want to become one of those people who dwell on the past. I have met more than a few folks who constantly connect the conversation to their personal histories. Stop me if I do this.

44. Growing older is far better than the alternative.

45. My grandmother used to say, “We live too long.” She outlived all her friends and many of her friends’ children.

46. It will always be about the relationships. It is not about how we look, feel, or even think. It is about how we connect to each other.

47. I was stupid when I was younger. I made idiotic mistakes and did foolish things. I still do, but I hope I do so less frequently.

48. On the other hand,  that silly kid is still in me. He just has way less hair and moves more slowly.

49. I am grateful for birthday greetings. But don’t wait for my birthday. Don’t worry about my birthday. I will celebrate for any reason.

50. Any chance to reach out and acknowledge a friend is a good thing. I should do it more often. Sometimes, I get so caught up in the minutia of my world that I can’t see outside my borders. So if a special birthday lets me bring my head above the mundane waters, connect with the people around me, then my birthday has been a good thing.

You Need To Know About the Big Tests Your Kids Will Take Next Year

Starting next school year, students in many states, including Illinois, are going to have a new standardized achievement test: the PARCC test. PARCC stands for the Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers. This test will be aligned to the Common Core standards in reading, writing and mathematics. Students in grades three to eleven will take these tests. There will also be resources for kindergarten, first and second grades.

The PARCC tests are designed to go far beyond traditional multiple choice testing. Most students will take the test online. Students will be asked to write essays and narratives, create charts and fill in graphic organizers. They will read traditional fiction and non-fiction, but also work with audio and video and other forms of media. PARCC is designed to be a more authentic and skill oriented test.

To make this happen, these tests will take more time. In addition, the PARCC test will be given twice. One test is “performance based” and the second one is focused on “end of the year” components. For third graders, each test will take about eight hours. For fourth and fifth graders, these tests will take about nine hours. Middle and high school tests will take more than nine hours. Schools will have two sets of two to four week windows when they can administer these tests.

As you can imagine, this is going to take some very creative scheduling in many schools. Schools where students have their own devices will have to make certain that their networks can support that much use. Schools with shared computers will have to create ways to move all their kids through their labs. Schools without computer resources can take the tests on paper. Of course, regular classes will be rescheduled to make room for the testing.

These tests are on track to be given for the first time next spring, during the 2014-2015 school year. You can read about more about PARCC at their website. Here is a handy FAQ page that answers many questions.

Of course, PARCC is being delivered through two major educational publishers. Here is an article that explores the costs of PARCC in both time and money. This writer calculates that, for the state of Maryland, PARCC will cost $33,761,216. Pearson and Educational Testing Service are the two companies that have been contracted to provide this test.

Given the challenges of a test like this, some educators are concerned that we have not addressed issues like the increased test length, availability and reliability of technology, ramifications for special needs students, training for teachers, and the impact of the costs. A superintendent in New Jersey wrote this op-ed piece asking that the PARCC test implementation be delayed.

There is also the question of reading on a screen. As recent research has shown, reading on a computer screen is very different from reading on paper. The PARCC tests provide students with multiple texts on the screen. This article from the Washington Post examines the effects of online reading and compares online to conventional reading.

Currently, in Illinois, the Prairie State Achievement Test is a graduation requirement. Students must take it. The PARCC test will replace the PSAE, but it is not yet known how student scores on the PARCC will be used. Educators are concerned about how students will approach the exam, especially after several hours of testing.

It is critically important that parents educate themselves about these new tests in order to be better prepared to help their students, and work with their schools when the tests roll out next spring.

Get Over Your Selfie!

Last week, I watched a high school student walk through a crowded hallway holding her phone in front of her and sticking out her tongue. She was taking a “selfie.” A selfie, for the two readers (I should stop there, right?) who do not know this term, is a picture taken of one’s self by one’s self almost always with a cell phone.

And there are a lot of selfies on the web and social network sites. One could argue that their purpose is to publish them. Many selfies are taken at arms length and look slightly distorted. Some are taken into mirrors.

The rise of the “profile” picture has encouraged people to take lots of photographs of themselves. People of a certain age are now as concerned with documenting their lives as they are with living them. An event doesn’t happen without photos. And nothing works better than a picture of me at an event.

It is seductive. I want to show my friends where I was. I want to take a picture with a celebrity or in front of a landmark. I want to show the world me! See me! Here I am! Look! Look! LOOK!

When my grandmother was packing to move, we discovered her old camera. I suggested that she use it to photograph her apartment. She told me that she didn’t know how to use the camera. I was confused. She had stacks of photos of her travels. However, as I looked at those pictures, I noticed something: she was in all the photos. She had never used her camera. She had always given it to someone else and asked that person to photograph her. Who knew that my grandmother was a trailblazer? She’d do wonderfully on Facebook.

What does it mean to be so focused on taking one’s own picture? When the point isn’t the experience, the sharing, or even the people, we are left with a narcissistic focus on the self –the selfie. It is always about me. Take the picture of me. Look at me. See where I have been and with whom. “Like” me!

And if you are with me, I might just cut you out. Another aspect of this phenomenon is the odd profile picture that is clearly a group shot – but the group has been excised. I have stopped noting how many people have disembodied hands on their shoulders or around their waists. Don’t look at the whole picture: look only at me!

To get you to look at me, I get tagged. Tagging (again for those two readers) is the labeling of the people (if there are other people – or their disconnected limbs) in the photo. Sometimes, we tag people who we wish were in the photo. Or were just outside the photo. Or might like the photo. Look at me!

The way to ruin someone’s perfect self-portrait: bomb it! Photo bombing is the practice of sneaking into someone else’s picture and facing the camera, often with an odd smile or funny face. It is not enough that I have lots of pictures of me; I have to ruin other people’s pictures. When you are looking at your picture, instead you will see me! Don’t look at you; look at me!

There is nothing wrong with a strong sense of self or a healthy ego. However, taken too far, we become all about ego and little else. When the world becomes one big mirror, we become obsessed with our image in it. We are important, yet there is so much more. Our cameras can record beautiful sunsets and landmarks, historic events, and feats of great courage and skill. Or they can be filled our distorted faces with our tongues sticking out.