Although I have been journaling for more than thirty years,
at the end of January in 2003, I made a decision to write daily. I review the
prior day, talk to myself, make notes about school, writing, and life in
general.
I like it. It is my kind of meditation. It is a form of
memory making. In the Facebook age, we use the cameras on our phones to document
our lives. It is all there in pictures. Pictures are great, but they are not
enough. I wanted to be able to save the feelings, thoughts, questions, and
conversations. I wanted more than images.
February 9th, 2004: P.J. just threw up in the front
hall.
Journaling has come in handy not only for the higher goals of reflection and metacognition, but also for simple stuff. When were the cable repair people here last? What was the original date of our vacation? Whom did we bump into at the restaurant?
There is the memory jog aspect of journaling. By reviewing
my day and thinking about it, I often discover ideas that lead me to new places
and insights, people to contact, and items to add to my to-do list. After
reviewing an old journal entry, I am often left with a renewed sense of
humility and gratitude.
March 17th, 2005: Jonah woke up feeling sick. I thought it was just gas, and I sent him to school. He seemed fine by the time I got back from bringing Quinn to orchestra. I was wrong.
My daily journal is also a dumping ground. I can get it out
and leave it there. It is so tempting to blog rants. I don’t want to. When I
journal, I can vent, scream, yell, cry and wring my hands. I can figure out
what I am really feeling and what will be an appropriate way to proceed.
I review my journal infrequently. When I do, I see changes
as starkly as when I look at older photographs of myself. I can look back at things that seemed daunting and
dangerous that now seem like no big deal. I can laugh with relief at the
struggles or problems that have long since been filed away.
May 23rd, 2007: As I was making my “it’s been a
great year” speech, David asked if it was time to “gift shears.” He said the
class had gotten together and got me a gift: SHEARS! Yes, I got a gift of
shears from my Senior English class!
My journal helps me learn and move forward. I look back, and I see what this week or month has really been about. I am able to more fully digest all the things that come at me so quickly.
Oh, yes, and I am frequently running back to my journal to
add things. I didn’t write about that phone call. I forgot to note the issue
with the van! How could I have written all about yesterday and not mentioned
the concert? The day falls into my journal in a dream like order and with
emotional logic. I put it back together.
April 23rd, 2010: We checked out through
attendance and then drove to the Secretary of State’s office. Quinn had no
trouble with the road test and passed just fine. She took a lovely license picture.
I will continue to write daily. I will continue to journal,
blog, and talk to myself. One is an outgrowth of the other. It is great that I can
share my writing – and have writing that is just for me.
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