Happy Facebook Birthday

As a child, I got birthday cards from my family. Later, a few close friends would either call or send a card. As I grew up, I could count on one hand the number of non-family members who acknowledged my birthday in any way.

Prior to the advent of Facebook, birthdays were a way to stay in touch. A birthday card to a far away friend was a way to affirm the relationship. This was also a good determiner of the whether such effort was worthwhile. Some people didn’t seem to care about such things. Whether or not they reciprocated (most did not), these cards either kept relationships alive or let me know that they were already dead.

Facebook changed all that. Now I only have to remember the birthdays of friends who are not on Facebook, and even for those people, I often send emails instead of cards. A birthday email is far more effective – and let’s face it, for many people, I don’t have much to say beyond, “happy birthday.”

So now we have a long list of simple and banal birthday greetings. Each morning, I see the names of my Facebook friends’ birthdays. I type a little greeting. Is it worth it?

Meaningful or not, Facebook birthday posts feel good. While I have heard my students discuss the number of digital birthday greetings, for me, the amount is less important than the fact that people take a few moments to reach out. This is not only gratifying, but also healthy –and it seems to work better than my old approach. 

I enjoyed my recent birthday. I loved the time with my friends and family and the warm Facebook posts. But I didn’t need any real fuss. I save fuss for my children’s birthdays. Those are far more important to me than my own birthday.

I used to hate kiddy birthday parties. The worst part was the glut of presents that the kids unwrapped and discarded. The real meaning of the celebration got lost: the gift that is the child. My children’s birthdays are a chance for me remember and renew the gratitude for the joy they bring me.

And that is why birthdays matter. Whether on Facebook, through a card, a call, or email, they are a chance to renew this kind of gratitude and joy. They are a moment on the calendar to give a long distance hug. They keep us positively connected.

Sappy as it sounds, Facebook helps keep these positive connections alive when they might have disappeared. Even if some of them are not substitutive, they make us smile. They keep us from drifting too far apart or getting too caught up in ourselves.

Birthdays are a chance to affirm relationships. And they aren’t the only chance. There are lots of ways to say, “I love you.” Birthdays are only one of them. I make a point of noting anniversaries and other special dates that Facebook doesn’t list. It would be wonderful if birthdays, or something like them, came along several times a year.

Cliché though it may be, this is a case where it really is the thought that counts. It is nice to be remembered and feel loved and appreciated. However we do it, this kind of acknowledgement keeps both the sender and receiver healthier and happier. Thanks, Facebook!

Before Going Into Darkness, Let's Look Back at Star Trek 2009

On the eve of the premiere of the new film, it is time to look back at the first J.J. Abrams version of Star Trek. I was frequently asked how I felt about this new take on something I enjoy so much. Here is my view on that film: 

Since I am a nearly life long Trekker, fanatic and the driver of a vehicle that looks like a Star Trek shuttlecraft, everyone has been asking me about the latest movie. If you have not yet seen the movie, I am going to discuss some specific details. If you want no spoilers, read this after you see the film. Yes, you should see the film.

So what do I think of the new movie? The short answer is I liked it, and it rocked my world.

The long answer is it gave me the same feeling in my chest that I get after a roller coaster ride. This is not only because it is a good action adventure movie.  It is also because it took me several viewings to come to terms with this new alternate universe Star Trek. The first time I saw it, I was moved, had fun and was overwhelmed by the massive changes to the traditional Star Trek timeline. The second time I saw it, I saw more of what was familiar and right, and the big changes felt less important. By my third viewing, I was in Trek heaven.

I am far from orthodox in almost anything, but I do take my Trek seriously. This film challenges me to separate the trivia from the substance.  Star Trek XI (or Star Trek 2009) is an archetypical origin story. We meet characters who are rebellious, self-destructive, and struggling with loss and pain. At the beginning of the film, they are alone because of their differences. As the film progresses, they find mentors and each other. They claim their inheritances and find both their power and humility. They fight their inner demons while struggling against a classic villain. They learn to, “do what feels right.” This is good story telling and good Star Trek.

Star Trek XI is also a launching of a new set of Star Trek stories in a new Star Trek universe. It is an exploration of strange new plotlines. This Star Trek is really alternative Star Trek. Like the fans of the mirror universe that has been explored in several Star Trek television series, this Star Trek is boldly going where past Treks have never dared to go. This new film is the pilot for a new film series. Truly, “our destinies have changed.”

This film is true to Star Trek in many ways. Our characters, “do not believe in the no win scenario” and are more than willing to cheat to make things right. The characters “feel” correct. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Pike are so well cast and played that no comparison to the original performances is necessary. Uhura is the character that we always wished she would become. Chekov and Scotty are new songs sung by familiar voices.

Of course we have elements that have become standard in Star Trek stories. We laugh and applaud classic lines like, “I’m a doctor not a physicist,”  and “I’m givin’ it all she’s got, Captain.” When the Enterprise makes her first appearance in space, we get some long adoring shots and heroic, romantic music. As our heroes succeed or are in peril, we pan across each of their faces. The ships and sets, costumes and effects look like the Star Trek we all love.

There are wonderful nods to past Treks. This films echoes Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan in many ways: the Kobayashi Maru test (in which Kirk is eating an apple, just as he was when discussing this test in Star Trek II), shots around Saturn that resemble the final battle sequences, Nero uses a bug similar to Kahn’s and screams “Spock” just like Kirk screams, “Kahn!”,  and we even hear some of Spock’s famous dying words, “I have been and always shall be your friend.”

There are so many other little Trekker details that they are too numerous to list: Scotty has tribbles, Christine Chapel is mentioned, Kirk hits his head on a bulkhead in a very Star Trek V manner, Spock’s final entrance on to the bridge reflects his first entrance in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and poor crewman Olson, the red-shirted away team member, bites the dust.

This film is also highly influenced by Star Wars. We have a bar fight in a cantina that only lacks an alien band. Jim Kirk now has a background very similar to Luke Skywalker. Like Skywalker, he gains a father replacement/mentor who guides him into honorable military service.  At the end of the film, Spock pilots a ship that resembles Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon. And we have plenty of fighting on narrow bridges in the interior of a cavernous ship. However, no one loses a hand.

There are some elements that do not work. Kirk and Spock give a nod to Federation friendliness at the end, but they (and we) are far more satisfied when the kindness is refused and retribution and revenge are justified. The entire sequence on Delta Vega, the ice planet, feels contrived. It is unlikely that Gene Roddenbery would have had anyone wish the characters, “Godspeed” or refer to the “Christening” of a ship. Kirk seems forever hanging from a ledge, catwalk, or precipice and a crisis often intervenes when he is in trouble with authority. What is red matter? But these are fan nits I am picking.

This new alternate reality Star Trek XI/2009 is still a celebration of family, loyalty, optimism and humanity. It is everything that has kept me a Star Trek fan, and it is a riveting action thriller as well.

The next film will be more challenging. It will be a “middle” instead of a “beginning” and middles are not as exciting. I am optimistic that it will be much more than a good amusement park ride. This film was about characters who learn to think, feel and thus grow. I hope the next film asks the same of its audience. Because, at its core, that is what makes good storytelling and good Star Trek.