Teacher's Favorite

Something transformative happened in fourth period. While we were discussing an assembly about gender, a student noted that one of his teachers always picked on the boys, “The girls are her favorites.” Somehow, this moved us into a discussion about teacher’s favorites, and they asked me the question, “Do you have favorites, Mr. Hirsch?”

The answer was easy, “Of course, I have favorites!” I said. I asked them to raise their hands if they liked some teachers better than others. Every student raised a hand. Teachers are just like students, I told them. There are people who we connect with better than others, and there are some who press our buttons.

That was the moment. It happened right then. When I noted that teachers, like all of us, have students they don’t like as much, the entire class looked toward one boy. They all thought he was the student who fit that description.

They were wrong.

Being a teacher is improvisational. No matter how well you plan or how many years you have taught, you cannot prepare for everything.

I shook my head and told them that the boy in question was my favorite. Gasp! No one was more surprised than he was. I told them that I work hard to make sure that all students feel as though they are my favorite. It is my goal to give the teacher’s favorite treatment to every student – even the ones who may be a little challenging in class.

Of course, teachers gravitate toward some students and away from others. We are human. However, it is our job to recognize this, acknowledge it, and then consciously control it.

Yes, there are a few instances where that is not possible. In more than thirty years in the classroom, I can count on one hand the students I really wished were not in my room. They are rare. The boy in question is as far from being one of those students as I am from being an NHL quarterback.

I don’t know who started it, but the kids in fourth period started calling each other, “favorite.” We greeted each other that way for a while.

“Hello, Pat, my favorite.”  

“See you tomorrow, my favorite.”

“Do you have a question, my favorite?”

It even carried into the halls for a little while, until we agreed it was a little embarrassing to be so open about such things.

But the tone in the classroom had altered subtly. The boy who was the focus has changed substantially. His behavior since this discussion has been different. His need for my attention has diminished, although not completely. My reassurance that I liked him, that he was not one of “those” kids, that he was a favorite, has transformed our relationship and even the feeling of the class.

Should I declare that I like all my students in public this way all the time? Probably. I thought I was doing it in other ways, but perhaps I need to be more direct.

It feels good to be a favorite. It feels really good to know that someone, especially the teacher, likes you. And I do like them – all of them. It is not an act. It is a decision to make sure that I convey that to them. Some of them can read that from our day-to-day interactions. Some of them know this because of the way I greet them when they enter our room, from our hallway hellos, and the notes I write on their assignments.

Some may need more than that; some may need me to look at them and say, “you are my favorite.”

Next year, I am telling them earlier.