The Solace of the Classroom

October was a challenging month. Both personally and nationally, the end of October has been almost overwhelming. My stomach has been in knots, and I have had trouble sleeping. Yet, life goes on, the bell rings, and the kids come in: time for class.

I have learned that when I walk into a classroom, whatever emotions and attitude I convey will be reflected back at me and magnified by my students. While some kids will empathize with a teacher who is having a bad day, more often class doesn’t help. I have learned to put on an actor’s face and pretend during times like this. This week, it was both a challenge and a comfort to put on that mask.

But once I had my class face on, I found that a beautiful transformation occurred. As I worked with students and explored the lesson, I forgot my troubles. The kids are far more immediate than any of my issues. My stomach settles down. My anxiety takes an intermission, and I feel good. I am purposeful and focused – and those wonderful classroom moments remind me why I chose to do what I do.

As a student’s eyes light up with understanding, or one student kindly assists another, or I watch as a student become immersed in the literature, I borrow some of their wonder and joy. Every day doesn’t look like this, but when I am fighting that darkness, my students’ positivity is a powerful antidote to the troubles beyond the schoolhouse walls.

I am a realist. Escaping into a classroom and playing theatre games or analyzing a novel does not make the problems go away. It does make me more able to face them. It does put things in perspective and helps me see the real importance of teaching.

Could it be that the reflection of emotion and attitude works both ways? Could it be that, when I put on that game face, I am really reflecting my students’ feelings and engagement? While the teen world is full of drama and angst, for most kids, I am grateful that it pales in comparison with this past month. I borrow a little of their positive energy. They help heal me, and I teach them! What superb gifts we give each other!

Throughout these past difficult and challenging days, many of the moments that have felt the most normal and wonderful have been in the classroom with my students. What will I do next year? I will live from the memories and reach out to my friends and alumni. The moments may be fleeting, but I can store up some of these moments and benefit from them later- and I can share them.

What a blessing it is to be a teacher!