Bye Lines

I am not a fan of goodbye. I am not a fan of letting go. I suppose my classroom would be stuffed if no one ever graduated or moved on, but I wouldn’t mind. Elementary schools sometimes “loop” kids by having them stay in the same classroom with the same teacher for multiple years. Sounds like a good idea to me!

However, exits are as important as entrances. The fact that our time together is limited makes it all the more valuable. We used to talk about bell-to-bell teaching. I start before the bell. As soon as I have a quorum of the class, I start. Kids learn to get to class quickly and that I am not going to waste their time. They get their money’s worth with me!

I am eager to start class. My colleagues in the English department know when I am off to class because I have a series of exit lines as I leave the office and head for the classroom.  My dear former colleague and friend Emily noted that I often borrow from that old commercial and exit with, “Time to make the doughnuts!” If the class is particularly challenging (maybe freshmen at the end of the day), I may note I am “off to fight the wars.”

One of my colleagues came back to school on a Monday excited because he had seen a production of Wonderful Town and figured out where I got the exit line, “Why, oh, why, oh, did I ever leave Ohio!” For clarification, I have never lived in Ohio.

More often, though, my exits to class have a different tone. I borrow from the Olympics and say, “Better, higher, stronger, faster” and run out. More recently, I find I am leaving the office empty and my only “line” is the locking of the door.

I get to the classroom early. I like to greet students by name as they enter. The feeling tone of the classroom is important and I try to set it right away!  Sometimes, if a student is late and arrives with a pass, I treat them as if they are the royal messenger at the end of A Three Penny Opera arriving on horseback to save the hero from the gallows and sing to them, “Hark who comes? A royal messenger riding comes!” I take the paper as if it is, in fact, a reprieve from the Queen! It never is, by the way, it is just a pass.

If a student gets to class just as the bell is ringing and has just managed to avoid being tardy, I will go back to my old spoonerisms and say that they arrived in the tick of nime!

Not that long ago, before every student carried around their own Chromebook laptop computer, we would have to leave class and head to a special room to use banks of desktop computers. Then I would borrow from a very different play and invite the students to “come down to the lab, and see what’s on the slab!” I would find out if any of them knew my reference and say, “I see you shiver with antici----”  I have only had two students who knew what I was talking about. I guess I should expect that. (SAY IT)  ---pation!

Every so often, students will ask, “When is this class over?” No! No, that isn’t the way I want you to think about it at all. While I will admit that there are times I wish classes would be shorter (sometimes that end of the day freshman group), most of the time, I find that the end of class surprises me. Then I borrow from Shari Lewis and adapt her song to be, “This is the class that never ends, it goes on and on my friend…” And if students start to put their materials in their backpacks prematurely, I do my reinterpretation of the old David Soul song, “Don’t pack up on me, baby!”

Of course, all my students know my replacement for “you are dismissed.” I always thank them at the end of class in the manner of flight attendants when the plane has landed, “Thank you for flying Science Fiction” or “Thank you for flying Theatre” and then they are free to get their bags and phones, and move out to the jet-way or hallway or wherever.

The goodbye I like the least is when my students graduate. I try to find the words to wish my senior students farewell. For my former Freshman English students, I have a special goodbye: On their second day of high school, I ask them to write about their first day of high school in detail. We put that piece of writing in an envelope and I mail it to them so they receive close to their last day of school – and I include a note from me wishing them goodbye as well.

And now, as I am preparing to say goodbye to all of my students and colleagues, I am struggling. None of these lines say works for this situation. I am not sure that I have words to express how odd it is to part from these wonderful students, extraordinary colleagues, and this magnificent school. Stay tuned; I am writing!