COVID-19: No Them, Just Us

As you finally get away from the sinking ship and are huddling in the little lifeboat adrift in the middle of the ocean, you notice a person sitting near you with a drill. They are drilling into the floor of the boat! You are shocked and yell at them, “You can’t do that, you’ll sink the ship! We’ll all drown!” The person looks up at you with a sneer and says, “What do you care, it is my seat!”

 

During this time of crisis, it is increasingly evident that individual actions have far-reaching community consequences. It is frightening that some stranger, because they do not take precautions could start a chain reaction that would affect hundreds of people – or more.

People are weary of sheltering at home and are struggling economically. It is unsurprising that some are celebrating as states reopen.  There is no doubt that people can’t stay at home if they can’t feed their families.

 

There you have it.

 

If people can’t feed their families, they can’t stay at home. If they leave their homes to work, we risk spreading this disease and hurting everyone. Therefore, it benefits all of us to support people who need assistance! Helping the needy benefits the entire community.

 

We need everyone to be safe and fed at home. It isn’t just about THEM. It is important to US! Or more succinctly, there is no them, there is only us.

 

Similarly, if people are scared to call health professionals because they can’t afford to pay, they are more likely to ignore illness or go to work sick. Everyone should be able to call a doctor if they are ill. If they do not do so, the community at large is at risk. Universal healthcare benefits all of us.

 

The term herd immunity is in the news a great deal. Herd immunity means that, when a great enough percentage of the population is immune to an illness, those who are not immune are protected because the odds of someone giving them the illness are small. But in order to create that percentage, everyone must have access to health care, vaccines, and doctors. The whole herd is in the boat; we are all adrift in this storm. Our well being is inextricably linked to everyone else’s.

 

What does it mean to be a member of a community? What does it mean to be a member of a family? A family is a smaller community. It means that our lives and our welfare are interconnected. It means that we sink or swim together! It means that our choices, for better or for worse, affect the whole – even when we are not aware of it. It means taking responsibility for this awesome responsibility. It means making mature and measured decisions that acknowledge the far-reaching impact of our seeming personal choices.

 

Americans love their independence. We want the freedom to do what we want to do, virus be damned. No one gets to tell us what to do! But that freedom comes with a price and an obligation. It isn’t free and it isn’t without limits.

 

As citizens, we must participate in our communities. This goes way beyond voting, jury duty, or even paying taxes. Most of us would sacrifice for our families and friends. Most of us would rush them to the hospital, give them money and support, and deny our own needs to meet theirs. This is what we need to do now for the health and well being of our community and country.

 

Sheltering in place is not simple. Masks are not comfortable. Staying home is problematic. For reasons too long to list here, for many, it is beyond challenging.

 

However, no one may drill a hole in a seat. If they do, we all go down. Therefore, we must make sure that everyone’s seat is safe and secure. We must make sure that everyone has enough of everything. We must make sure that everyone has access to healthcare. We must take care of everyone or more people will become sick and die.

 

I want to get my haircut, go to a restaurant, and attend family gatherings. I can’t right now. I am privileged to have enough money to stay home and not worry about my family’s basic needs. Both individuals and our governments must take deliberate and thoughtful actions to make sure that everyone can safely stay home – and for those who are doing jobs that are essential like doctors, first responders, grocery workers, and others – we as a community must ensure that they are also safe on the ship! Without them, we will not survive the voyage.

 

Protesters who are flaunting distancing and shut down orders are endangering everyone. They are drilling holes in their seats and endangering the ship that is rescuing our children, parents, and all whom we hold dear.

 

This is not about rights or being told what to do. It is about duty, responsibility, and safety. We, not them, must choose to protect each other. We, not them, are sacrificing in order to save each other. Everyone must participate. Everyone must give to save all of us. And everyone must do their part.

Letter to the Educators

 

Dear Educators,

 

Thank you. Thank you for being essential to our children and the entire country. Thank you for changing all you do at a moment’s notice. Thank you for not giving up on our children or their parents. Thank you for staying up late after taking care of your own family, and reaching deep into that already low reservoir of energy and using it to care for someone else’s kids.

 

No matter what your role, you have been striving to meet student needs; thank you to teachers, counselors, social workers, nurses, psychologists, coaches, teaching assistants, tutors, librarians, administrative assistants, custodians, student teachers, interns, administrators, technology staff, paraprofessionals, trainers, guards, resource staff, cafeteria staff, bus drivers, transportation support staff, coordinators and everyone else at school whose hands are holding the student safety net.

 

Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for trying different approaches to meet different needs. Thank you for meeting kids’ emotional needs and attending to far more than the curriculum and the cognitive, but providing another layer of support and assistance to children living in a terrible and frightening time.

 

Parents have worked hard to be your assistants and in doing so gained a new and renewed admiration for your skill and expertise. We knew you were doing something very challenging and complex and now we have a deeper understanding and appreciation of what it means to be an educator.

Because we went to school does not mean we can be a teacher. Because we visited the nurse’s or counselor’s or tutor’s office, does not mean we have even a fraction of a view of what it takes to do a good job in those roles. After being our children’s teachers’ helpers as well as their parents, we understand more about what it takes to be with them at school.  

There was a photo of a large SUV with the words, “You lied. My children are not a joy to have in class” written on the windows. Thank you for fostering sides of our children we don’t see at home. Thank you for being another adult with whom our children could find shelter. Thank you for loving our children in a way that we ourselves found challenging.

We all miss your physical presence as school becomes increasingly remote. We crave your classroom and the power of your smile and gentle way of communicating without words. We want the interactions that Zoom could not replicate, that we could not feel across the distance. Thank you for those extra special visits at home, car parade, care packages, and special appearances. The power of our relationship was so strong that it could sustain us distantly. But your absence is like an uncovered wound we can’t keep from touching.

 

We know you are being beaten up and berated by some. We know that there are those who do not appreciate the miracles you have wrought. We wish they could sit on your shoulders, cover your eyes and ears, and tell you to just listen to us! We wish the critics had someone who cared for them the way you have cherished our children. We wish everyone had someone calling out across the gulf the way you have bridged this time for us.

 

The summer beckons. You always earned your summers, what little of them you actually get for yourselves. More than ever before, you deserve a break. 

 

We are worried about the fall. We know you share this concern. Please know that we trust you. We trust that you will continue to do what you have done throughout this ordeal: Do what is best for all of our children.

 

That is why you are essential, precious, and extraordinary. Thank you is inadequate.

 

All our love and wishing you health and peace,

 

Your grateful students, their parents, and members of the community

 

 

Reading for Treasure: Fighting Racism

This is a longer than usual Reading for Treasure entry due to recent events. I have been reading, researching, and reflecting on how White people like me can fight racism beyond posting on social media. I am listening, learning, and taking action – and I want to do so in a way that really helps. Here are links to articles, resources, and lists that may help anyone, but especially White people, find productive ways to join the fight.

 

 

A great place to start might be with “Dear White People This is What We Want You to Do.” This blog post is a clear do and don’t list along with some great links including this link to a much more complete resource and reading list than this one.

 

If you want many options, this list article from Medium may help. Don’t be overwhelmed.  The title is clear: “75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice.” I first encountered it when it was far fewer items. The suggestions are excellent. Take it in bite-size pieces and use it as a springboard for action.

 

Similarly, “26 Ways to be in the Struggle Beyond the Streets” gives some clear suggestions that are different but complementary to the Medium list above.

 

“Dear White People: Do Something” is a blog post on #Morethan:a movement. It is a short and very clear discussion about why you should go beyond an empathetic response and do something, even if it is a small step forward.

 

This column from the Chicago Tribune called “White America, if you want to know who’s responsible for racism, look in the mirror,” lays this squarely at the feet of White people. It is a powerful indictment and one that you must read before you react defensively.

 

Although it is aimed at White women, this blog post talks about the language we use to respond to issues of race. “5 Racist Anti-Racist Responses “Good” White Women Give to Viral Posts” looks at statements people make online, why people might make them, why they are problematic, and provides some alternatives.

 

Kareen Abdul-Jabbar’s OpEd piece in the Los Angeles Times is a highly articulate framing of the protests, the violence, and the background. Please read it.

 

Lifehacker has a few short pieces that deal specifically with protesting: First, “How To Support the Protests if You Can’t Attend.” They have advice about “What to Do If You’ve Been Pepper Sprayed” and “The Phone Settings You Need to Know Before Protesting.”   They also published a succinct article entitled, “How to Fight for Justice for George Floyd.” It lists four clear ways you can do more than just watch the news. Finally, they have a great list of “Where to Donate to Help People Fighting for Racial Justice.”

 

Although my children are older, it is critical that White people have conversations about race with their children. Here is a list of “27 Books to Help You Talk to Your Kids About Racism” that was posted on social media by a librarian. Most of the books fall into the elementary or early middle school age range, but these books can be fantastic conversation starters with anyone.

 

Commonsense Media has a broader piece about “How White Parents Can Use Media to Raise Anti-Racist Kids” that would complement the list of books above.  

 

Finally, if you are buying books, why not support a Black-owned bookstore. Here is a list of the “Black Owned Bookstores in the United States” with links, addresses, and contact information.

 

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction.  

 

I am currently reading The Deep by River Solomon with Daveed Diggs, William Huston, and Jonathan Snipes.