Twenty Years Ago Today: An Introduction

Everyone told me when you have children, remember to video record everything – and I did. I have videos of birthday parties, soccer games, trips, class visits, Halloween, and so much more. I compiled these videos into DVDs and made a second set for my parents.

No one ever watches them.

So recently, I watched them. It is both a memory jog and a reminder of who we were, what was going on, and the struggles and celebrations of the late 90s and early 2000s.

Sometime around 2002, I realized that taking still photos would be better than videos. I still took some videos, but I really focused on pictures. That is the advice I would give a new parent. Sure, have a video camera for the game or concert, but take photos. People actually look at those. 

Similarly, I have been keeping a kind of journal or diary for many years in many forms. About the same time I moved to photos, I made a commitment to myself to write every single day. My purpose was to reflect on my day, record my thoughts while they were still in my head, and to think about how one day informed and shaped the days to come. I have written some kind of journal entry every day since. 

I go back to my journals for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is mere nostalgia, but more often it is to remind myself about a specific person, event, or place. I review my journals about trips when we are returning to those places. I will use my journal as a tickler when I am seeing someone I have not seen in a long time to remind myself about our last meeting. Often, I consult my journal so I can build on my past experience and not simply fall into the same potholes all over again. My journals are a piece of my ever-expanding external memory. 

However, there are huge swaths of my journal that have sat on the computer ignored like those home videos. I decided it is time to look them over, too. So each month, I am going to read my journal from twenty years ago –and sometimes, I will write a ‘then and now piece here. 

Strangely, I can’t find any journals from 2002. I changed computers and I have a large number of files I can’t open. Perhaps some are from 2002. There was a good reason I didn’t write regularly: I was juggling teaching, parenting, and involvement in several community organizations. And I was very young and very busy

I did go back and look at my journals from 1998 to the beginning of 2001. It was embarrassing and powerful, familiar and far away. It was a bit sad and less nostalgic than I thought it would be.  

My first entries are in October of 1998. One of my former students and neighbor had suddenly passed away at college. It was a terrible tragedy and it affected me strongly. 

But the joys of parenting were just as present, my son “continues on his journey to personhood. He is such a personality. He loves strings, wires and anything resembling them. He is fascinated by the VCR. He is so playful and fun. He loves to be sung to. Parenthood is the best thing I have ever done.” 

I complained about the motivational speakers who came to my school, worried about students who were not succeeding, and reflected constantly on my teaching. My tone is so authoritative and confident. I laughed while I read. 

I reflected on a visit to the Museum of Science and Industry with my daughter, she “loved the new Pioneer Zepher train and the animatronic talking statues and mule! She was non-pulsed by the U505 Submarine and the Fairy Castle (which really surprised me). She loved the Omnimax theater presentation of ‘The Mysteries of Egypt’  -especially the fast flight over the Nile. Three times she looked at me and said ‘I really love this, Daddy.’” 

I was very focused on getting my grading completed. I planned when and how many essays and quizzes and projects and debates I could grade. Ungraded work weighed heavily on me. Although, I was a part-time teacher (and a full-time father), but I still had hours of homework! 

There were college recommendations, baby sitters, doctor visits, meals, in-services, clubs, performances, vet visits, and family trips to Florida and California. Traveling with young children is not a vacation. It is a trip – at best. 

So now, as January looms, I will open up journal entries from January 2003. I remember some things about that time. I am sure there will be more I have forgotten. I am not sure what I will find – and if what I find is not worth remembering, you won’t hear from me. 

Twenty years is a long time. We were different people then. Those people share a lot with us today– but we are no longer them. I am hoping that by looking at those old journals, I can learn about where I have been and better understand where I am so I can make choices about where I am going. We’ll see! Read on!