Taking Time Off

I am struggling with what to write right now. I don’t want to write about politics, but everything other than politics feels unimportant. While I enjoy looking back at my journals from twenty years ago, they feel so personal, specific, and interesting only to me. It is a fun project – for me. Writing about an education world that has shifted since COVID feels presumptuous since I am no longer in the classroom. Perhaps I will try fiction again. Maybe. 

When I started this blog it was to both practice writing and share my view of the world. I am no longer a writing teacher, so this writing no longer serves that function. And what brings me to the computer to write is either too narrow or too hot. 

So, I am taking some time away this blog. It might be a month or two or four or six. It might not. It might be forever. It might not. If I feel moved to write, I will. If I think it is worth your attention, I will put it here. I am sure I will return to writing, but it may not be here. 

Thanks for reading. 

See you later. 

An April Homework Assignent Gone Awry

My younger child has become quite the word puzzle person. He is a master of anagrams, does Wordle and Spelling Bee daily, and is becoming a crossword aficionado.  It wasn’t always the case – and his love of words is strongly connected to today. 

When he was in first grade, his teacher sent home a kind of word jumble exercise. It was a list of letters and a kind of triangle of squares. Students were to use the letters to make a two-letter word, a three-letter word, a four-letter word, and so on until they used all of the letters listed. It was very frustrating for my child. 

My solution was to put the letters on index cards so he could manipulate them like Scrabble tiles. Side note: I now cannot solve Wordle without using Scrabble tiles, so perhaps this technique was as much for me as for him. 

It was easier to be able to move the letters around on the table and not just in his head. I would sit next to him and encourage him. I would never give him answers, but I might help with spelling or pull out a dictionary. 

One of these puzzles was particularly challenging. He got all the smaller words, but when it came to using all the letters, he was very frustrated. He had the building blocks of the smaller words, but they didn’t connect to make a natural word or phrase. 

His father was also frustrated. I did not have my own set of manipulatives, so I was trying to unjumble the letters in my head. I came up with what I thought was the solution before my child. However, I was baffled. We knew this teacher well. She had been my elder child’s teacher as well. The answer was bizarre and unlike any of the other earlier solutions. This was the end of April and we had a good sense of these weekly word puzzles – or so we thought. 

With some gentle support and an occasional hint, my son arrived at the same answer I had come to earlier. He knew the phrase because we frequently played a musical version of H.G. Wells’ War of the World at home. The big phrase, which used all the words was death ray. Or so we thought. 

My child didn’t think much of the solution. Rather, he was delighted to be done with his homework. I was confused, but a little happy that the teacher was using a science fiction reference, even if it was obscure and odd. 

You already know where this is going, I am sure. 

He took his homework to school the next morning, the morning of April 22. When he came home, we got a big lesson in anagrams. The solution was not death ray, although that did work with the letters. Who knew that a perfect anagram for death ray was Earth Day? 

Earth Day and death ray and this story of a clever word exercise are now forever linked in my family. 

Happy Death Ray – I mean Earth Day!  

Fear of Saying (or Writing) the Wrong Thing

The wrong thing. There, I wrote the wrong thing. 

White family and friends, is it possible to get past the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing during this struggle for racial justice? Can we move forward and take action rather than perseverating on eggshells? 

Robin DiAngelo called White Fragility the idea that any mention of racism will cause White people, even White people who call themselves anti-racist, to become defensive, self-focused, angry, and/or deny feedback from people of color. If you haven’t heard Dr. DeAngelo speak about this concept, please watch one of her many video interviews. 

We say to ourselves, “If I am not going to be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, then why do so many people challenge me when I do something that is anti-racist and helps the cause? It feels like even when I try to do the right thing, I am wrong!” 

The truth is that we will get it wrong sometimes. While our intentions may be good, we may not yet have the skills, knowledge, or context to do what really needs to be done. We must take feedback, learn how to do better, and then try again. 

White people sometimes deflect feedback from others instead of addressing the substance of the feedback. This is a “I know what you are saying is correct, but couldn’t you say it in a nicer way?” Thus white people don’t have to address their attitudes and choices because the feedback wasn’t presented in a pretty enough box. Nope! 

“But I meant well! Don’t I get credit for that? My intentions were good. I am still learning!” Welcome to the road to hell. Intentions are intangible, but impact is real. The focus on intentions is also a deflection. The effect of our choices is the real measure of their power. No one intends to make an error. The intention is minor, the result matters. We must own those effects, regardless of our intentions. 

As we learn how to be strong, thoughtful, and reflective anti-racist proponents, we will fall down – a lot. Rather than rationalizing our mistakes and dancing around the embarrassing moments when our ignorance or racism slips out, we must take another approach. 

DiAngelo talks about asking people of color, “What would it be like if you could just give white people feedback when we showed our inevitable and often unaware racist assumptions and patterns and had us receive that feedback with grace, reflect, and seek to change our behavior? What would that be like? And I’ll never forget this man of color raising his hand and saying, ‘It would be revolutionary.’” 

Think about the power of this concept: instead of the tap dance of deflect, defend, and deny, we instead say, “Thank you, you’re right. I am going to think about this and do better next time.” Of course, saying this means nothing without real action. 

Think about the power of this kind of dialogue: focusing on the core issue, taking our ego offline, accepting and acknowledging someone else’s point of view, giving their words serious thought, and then altering our choices.  

DiAngelo is right: it might be a revolution! 

Ten Ways to Protect Your Accounts with Strong Passwords

Recently, many of us have been receiving messages that some of our passwords have been compromised. I have written about passwords before but I want to give you another dose of rules, tools, and suggestions to keep you as digitally safe as possible. I have been sitting down with friends and relatives recently and asking them to evaluate both their passwords and how they store and create them. 

Here are some suggestions, rules, and tools:

1. Don’t use the same password for more than one login. If one of those sites has a breach, someone now has your email (or user name) and password. You can be sure they will try it on other sites! 

2. Make passwords long and complex. Use numbers, capital and small letters, and symbols (if the site allows). 

3. Do not, do not, do not, do not keep a list of your passwords on a post-it note on your computer. While a piece of paper in a file might have some degree of security and practicality there are better ways to do this. On Apple products, you can create a password protected note, which is better than having a slip in your wallet – but there are better methods. 

4. I recommend everyone use a password manager. I use 1Password, but there are many others. Apple offers Keychain built into the Apple ecosystem. The main benefit of a password manager is that it stores all your passwords securely and you don’t have to remember all of them. All you have to remember is how to get into the manager (thus the one I use is called 1Password because I only have to remember the password that lets me into my password manager). I STRONGLY suggest looking at a dedicated password manager that is not a locked note, Keychain, or the password saver built into your web browser. 

5. Another benefit of a password manager is that it can autofill your usernames and passwords when you go to a website. It will also remember your password when you use it on a new website (and even offer to create a strong and complex password for you). 

6. A side benefit of this is that, if my password manager does NOT offer me my password on a website that LOOKS LIKE it is my bank, for instances, it is a warning that I might be on a fake website and about to give away my username and password to a hacker! If my password manager doesn’t recognize the website, I need to find out why. 

7. Consider trying passkeys instead of passwords. Passkeys are when you use another device instead of a password. You might use your fingerprint or other biometrics. A website might ping your phone, watch, or other device. You can even purchase an actual digital key that plugs into your computer and lets websites know that it is really you! 

8. Many websites now use one-time password codes instead of passwords. You log in with your email and they send you a code. This is great – as long as you have control over the means of getting that code. If a hacker gets control of your email or phone number, you will be unable to receive these one-time password codes.

9. For this reason (and others), it is critical that you use secure passwords with your high-priority assets: your email account, financial institutions, any website where you have stored a credit card (Amazon), social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc), and of course, work-related websites. All of these should be protected with long, complex, and unique passwords – so long and complex that you could never ever remember them. Thus, storing them using a secure password manager would be a good idea (there is a theme here – get it?). 

10. Always, always, always take advantage of two-part authentication when it is available. This is when you get a code sent via text or email or through an authenticator app when you log on to a site for the first time on a new device or browser. This is not foolproof. If someone has your phone, they might be able to use this to reset a password. However, if you receive a message with a code when you haven’t logged in to that website, you know someone else is trying to. 

The scammers are getting more and more clever and devious, as I have written about before. We have to help each other stay safe and protected! While a warning that you have a compromised password may or may not be true, we all could improve our password security. Be safe out there! 

If You Haven't Been to A Fan Run Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention, You Are Missing Out!

My family thinks I go to the big commercial conventions that get a quick story on the TV news, but they are not the conventions I love and regularly attend. I go to conventions that are for the fans, run by the fans, and are joyous, inclusive, and multifaceted celebrations. 

What’s the difference? 

My science fiction and fantasy (SFF) conventions are not for profit. They are run by a team of amazing volunteers. They are not marketing or sales events. These conventions are usually much smaller, a few hundred to a few thousand people, and are held in a hotel, not a conference center. These conventions are local and connected to their cities, towns, and states. They feature a wide variety of activities instead of one or two big stages. They have panels, of course, but also music, art shows, gaming, films, exhibits, performances, food, costumes, activities for children, demonstrations, and a dealers room. These dealers rooms are smaller than the massive rows of merchandise at for-profit conventions, but they feature local small businesses, booksellers, authors, and craftspeople. 

Local conventions are focused on movies, television, games, and books! In fact, many local conventions are part of a network called the World Science Fiction Society that sponsors an annual World Science Fiction Convention (usually called Worldcon). This summer it is in Glasgow, Scotland. In 2025, it will be in Seattle, Washington. At Glasgow, the attendees will vote on where Worldcon will be in 2026! 

At Worldcon, in addition to all the activities above (and more), the annual Hugo Awards are given. This is the science fiction and fantasy community’s Oscar night; the awards given by the fan community. It is a splendid and spectacular event – and if you are part of Worldcon, you can vote! 

Community is one of the key features of a local not-for-profit convention. The larger events are done by professionals and used as marketing vehicles for studios and networks. Smaller, local conventions invite participation, conversation, and community. Newcomers are welcomed and become part of the family. Sure, you can purchase stuff, but the fandom community is the center of the celebration – not the selling or marketing of products. 

Do you enjoy reading or watching science fiction or fantasy? Do you want to discuss your ideas with others? Do you long not to be told that “you are the only one interested in that?” Then these conventions are for you. 

Oh, yeah, they are way less expensive than the cons that have to pay stars, rent huge exhibition halls, and advertise in the media. They are the best convention value around -and they might just change your life! 

I like going to an occasional Comic Con like C2E2 in Chicago or Wizards World or Creation’s Star Trek conventions. There is a place for both kinds of conventions. However, if I had to choose one, I would go to my local conventions without hesitation. My people are there. My friends are there. I am not merely an audience member, I am part of the family. I don’t spend my entire weekend sitting in a seat in a huge auditorium watching something far away. I go to panels about books, television shows, and topics like science, humor, music, and games. I wander through a wonderful art show and talk to strangers (who become con friends) and have a nosh at the con suite. I listen to poetry and singers at the café (and see others enjoy the coffee). I might learn about constructed languages and get a basic Klingon lesson. I reminisce about books, movies, and TV series that I cherished from long ago. I participate in book club discussions. 

Join us! There are local cons everywhere. I regularly attend the two Chicago area conventions: Windycon in November and Capricon in February. In July, I travel to Minneapolis for Convergence. I try to go to the Worldcon in the late summer. Come join the celebration! Come have those wonderful discussions you can only have with people who share your love for these special genres. And if you really like it – volunteer and make it even better! 

And if you see me, please come over and say, hello!

No Limits, No Consequences, No Way!

Remember that kid who seemed to have everything, that kid whose parents never said, “no”? Maybe you met on the playground, in class, at camp, or in the neighborhood. Were you jealous of that child? Did you think that child was spoiled? Some of these kids were aware of their wealth, while others seemed oblivious.

Did you also encounter the kid who behaved as if the rules were only for other people? This child acted as if nothing was out of bounds. Some of these kids really didn’t get the idea of consequences, but some didn’t care. Some of them were right! Their parents never said, “no.” Did you have a classmate, work colleague, or neighbor who was able to break the rules and always get away with it?

Sometimes, these kids without limits ruled recess. They gathered a group who would join them on their exploits and pick up their leavings. These followers were wannabes, flatterers, and fans worshiping someone who lived the life they wanted.

What would it be like to have limitless resources? No price would be too high. Nothing would be forbidden. What would it be like to be able to do whatever you wanted, regardless of any rules or results?

If everything is available and disposable, does anything have value? If I am never held accountable for my choices, do I believe the ideas of right or wrong apply to me? These kids certainly understood that the way the world treated them was not true for everyone. That made them special – and they knew it and exploited it.

At a reunion or in the grocery store or sometime later in life, have you run into those special kids? How did they grow up? What kind of adults did they become? Did they embrace limits? Did they become law-abiding good citizens? Or did something else happen?

Although I swam in wealthy waters as a child, my eyes were really opened to this phenomenon in college. It was the first time I met people whose resources were unlimited – and knew it. Although I knew more than a few rebels without a clue in high school, college was also the first time I heard someone refer to laws as “guidelines for idiots.”

What happens when nothing has value because everything can be replaced? What happens to our sense of responsibility when we know we are above the law and no one will dare to call us out? What do we become?

As a teacher, I saw the results of parents who provided limitlessly. I dealt with students whose parents worked very hard to prevent their children from ever feeling the negative results of their choices. Many times, these students had long-term negative ramifications. I was not going to imitate those parents and I didn’t want my children to be like theirs.

Who are those people? I remember exploring the idea of the golden rule with a group of students. One student complained that when he treated another student harshly, it would NOT have bothered him. The other student was just a sensitive wimp. He was treating someone the way he wouldn’t mind being treated. In other words, he projected his values onto the other person: if it isn’t wrong for me to do it, then someone else shouldn’t perceive it as wrong. He couldn’t see it from the other person’s perspective. It wasn’t his problem; it was the other kid’s issue. He, of course, was beyond reproach.

It was this experience that led me to develop what I called the platinum rule: treat others BETTER than you would like to be treated. I don’t know if this would have had an impact on that particular student, but I hope it might have opened up a new way of thinking.

We might wish for limitlessness and far-reaching power, but our inner voice quickly whispers “Monkey’s Paw” warnings. Yet, if the genie always gives you unlimited wishes, why would you wish for world peace? You have never seen a world of strife or need. Would you instead keep wishing to be the biggest, baddest, best, and most powerful person that walked on the planet? More, more, more! Would you care about (or even be aware of) the suffering and unfortunate or would you focus on retribution against anyone who ever dared to burst your bubble?

If I can get whatever I want, very little has value – including relationships and people. If I can do whatever I want, then any obstacle, rule, or restriction is a personal offense. It is a slap in the face from a disrespectful and offensive person and cannot be endured. Yet, if I can purchase anything and get away with everything, then what do I strive for?

Power. You might seek to fill an increasingly deep cavern of desire for satisfaction, novelty, and control. You can have anything anyone else can have and will never be limited by the restrictions that hold back mere mortals. You want what the average folks could never have. You buy politicians, public office, celebrity, and notoriety.

Most of us don’t live in that world. Our limits are all too real. If we really had no limits or consequences, we hope we’d would not become the spoiled and self-centered brat. We might be right. But if you have any real integrity at all, your little inner voice might express doubt and concern. That’s a good thing! That says you have a functioning conscience and some degree of empathy.

Let’s make sure that those who lack that inner voice, who have been disfigured by wealth and power, who see no limits and feel no consequences are never in positions where the rest of us are their pawns and playthings. They will not treat us well.

Learning with E's

People who do well in school are not necessarily the brightest or the best. They are not always the ones who will go on to change the world or be big successes. Sometimes they are. Sometimes, our most successful students are the ones who have learned to play the game of school. 

The game of school has rules: do your homework, be compliant, memorize everything, make friends with (and compliment) the teacher, count your points, and don’t make waves. 

Learning is not on that list. Many a school player will report that learning wasn’t necessarily a product of the game of school. It should be. It must be. 

I made a list of the behaviors that successful students employ to do well in school and gave to students. These are “good student” behaviors and most kids would benefit from adopting some of them. But there is a larger picture. 

When I was working on creating a new course a few years ago, I found that I was reworking and reevaluating almost everything. As I prepared a list of the skills I want students to master, I realized that there were three overarching components to authentic learning and success in school. 

For learning to be meaningful and lasting, students and teachers need effort, engagement, and expertise: the 3 E’s. 

Effort is the easiest to define: Learning takes hard work. Teaching is not a profession for the lazy. No athlete gets better without practice and working out. Practice and rehearsal are what performing artists spend most of their time doing: the performances are only possible because much more effort has been spent preparing for them! 

Expertise is all about skill and knowledge. For teachers, this is employing best practices, tailoring education for the students in the room, staying up to date, as well as being reflective and thoughtful. For students, this is all about practicing and mastering the skills and content.

Engagement is the most difficult of these three to define: Engagement is about making learning meaningful and lasting. It fits the content to the kids. It is about making connections and commitments, and then responding to kids creatively. It is about passion and focus. It is the difference between a 
compliant student and one who is sincerely motivated. 

I suppose you could say this framework is learning with E’s. In a post-COVID educational world, where the censors are pounding on the door, the budget is always being cut, and the number of kids each educator must work with grows almost daily. Designing and implementing curriculum lives in a political and social context. Effort, expertise, and engagement are only the beginning. Education is not easy.  

UPDATED: Strategies to Avoid Getting Scammed

The scammers are devious. They are increasingly harnessing both technological and psychological weapons to trick people out of their money – especially vulnerable people like the elderly. 

I have written about scams before, and while the articles and advice in those posts are still relevant, the scammers are escalating their tactics and we need to add some more precautions to our anti-scammer protection system. 

For those who don’t want to read much, here are my anti-scamming suggestions (this is an extenion on the list I wrote here): 

Trust your gut: If you even have a slight inkling that the phone call, email, website, text, or other form of communication is a scam: STOP! We frequently have a little voice in the back of our minds that raises the issue, but we don’t pay attention: PAY ATTENTION! 

Just because they have some information about you, even something as private as your social security number, bank account number, credit or debit card number, address, or date of birth, don’t trust them! Scammers can get this information. Bad actors can access private and personal data. Don’t rationalize that, “this can’t be a scam because they have my…”

If the message is urgent, it is likely a scam. If the message is highly sensitive, it is probably a scam. If the message is emotional, it is likely a scam. If the message is shocking, it is likely a scam. Your grandchild is most likely not in danger. No government agency is coming after you. No one has hacked into your bank account. “You can’t tell anyone,” is a huge red flag! When the person on the phone or the email screams that the house is on fire and you must trust them to put it out, hang up and do the thing next on this list. 

Contact the agency or person in question the way you normally do! If the email or caller says they are from your bank, hang up and call your bank. If they say that there has been a car accident and your relative needs help, call that relative (and if you can’t reach them, call someone close to them whom you trust). As the photo shows, links can look like they are correct and lead you to the wrong website. If you have a browser bookmark for your brokerage account, use that link– never click on links in texts or emails! 

Don’t give ANYONE your private information. Period. Don’t confirm your private information. Period. Of course, if you call your doctor, banker, broker, or other trusted source, you can do that. However, if someone contacts you and claims to be from their office – or even sounds like them – nope! 

Fakes are easy to create! Scammers can spoof phone numbers, so don’t trust the caller ID. Spammers can fake people’s voices, so just because it sounds like that person doesn’t mean it is that person. Spammers make website addresses, links, emails, and phone numbers look like the real thing. That is why you must always use the contact information that you have used in the past and know 100% is, in fact, the real thing – not the link, email address, phone number, or other method that they are feeding you. 

If there is even a tiny chance you are on the phone with a scammer: hang up! Then contact the organization using your regular contact method. Pro tip: if you are on a cell phone call and turn it to airplane mode, the person on the other end will see a “call failed” message. To really sell it, do this in the middle of a sentence or word. 

Don’t use passwords, passcodes, PIN numbers, or other private unlocking strategies in public - EVER. Don’t unlock your phone at the bar. Go inside the bank and cover your PIN number with your hand at the ATM – or better yet, use a teller. Never use passwords on public wifi networks. Learn to use passcodes like your face, fingerprint, watch, or USB keys. 

Don’t do strangers favors: Lots of scammers take advantage of your good nature. They ask to use your credit card at the gas pump because they only have cash. They ask you to loan them money. They ask all sorts of things. The answer is no! While sometimes, they really are people in need: more often, they are scammers. Give to charities and social service agencies and call them when people are in need - if people approach you directly, be suspicious. 

If you have other strategies, send them to me and I will add them here (and credit you, if you are okay with that – I can also credit you with just a first name or initials). 

Here are a few articles to give you the flavor of what scammers are doing: 

“Lake Co. Resident Nearly Loses $20K In PayPal Scam”

“AARP sounding alarm on fraud, offering helpful resources to victims”

“10 Security Settings That Protect Your iPhone From Thieves”

“How to Avoid Pump Switching Scams at the Gas Station” 

“How to Protect Your Parents From Elder Fraud and Scams”

“How to Protect Your Finances From Identity Theft”

“This 'IRS Letter' Is a Scam”

“These Financial ‘Experts’ Got Scammed, so You Can Too (Really)”

UPDATE: 

Some dear friends replied and added the following:

Beware when the person texting you says they can’t or won’t answer a phone call from you because they are “driving”… it’s really because you would instantly recognize that they are not who you think you are texting. If you think about it, people who are driving would really prefer talking over texting as that would be safer!

Many scammers are from foreign countries and English is not their native language. Therefore, be aware that even the SLIGHTEST English grammar or syntax error should alert you that the person is a foreign scammer who has a high level but not perfect proficiency in speaking English.  Even a SINGLE WORD misused that would not be said that way by a native English speaker should be a huge red flag to you.

If a person asks you to pay for an item via Zelle be aware that, unlike a credit card payment, money sent by Zelle cannot be retracted or credited even if you later can verify it was sent to a scammer. Never use a phone number or email link sent by the person to make a Zelle payment, as your money is probably not going to the person you think it is.

If you are purchasing an item and the main message to you focuses on receiving the payment rather than the details of the item itself that should clue you into the fact that all they want is to get your money from you.

If you are communicating with someone via Facebook messenger and then switch to texting but they won’t talk out loud by phone call that’s a clue that they are trying to hide their true identity.

If the party refuses to take a check as payment and insists on using electronic payment via Zelle, Venmo, or PayPal that’s a clue that it’s a scammer, as the scammer wouldn’t be able to cash your check, especially if located in a foreign country,

If the person selling an item says you need to pay them because other people are also trying to buy the same item, be aware that it’s probably a lie and trick to make you pay sooner rather than later.

Try to buy items from established online retailers like Amazon, Wal-Mart, etc, and not from Facebook marketplace or unknown retailers.

If someone asks you to text back a Google phone code and you do they might create a Google Voice phone number that links to your phone, thus compromising your phone! 

Beware of scammers who say that they are checking that you are not the scammer! How ironic! 

Thank you to my friends for these strategies! 

Exclusion

Teenage social dynamics are difficult for kids to navigate, let alone adults. Children’s social groups build walls so high and strong that kids in the same classroom don’t communicate with each other.

And then there’s the child who is on the outside of all of it. Sometimes these kids are still developing socially. Sometimes, it’s not their fault at all. No matter what, these are children who want friends, but are not making them. What happens when the outcasts reach out? Most of the time they will be rejected. 

Several times, my children have been in the middle between trying to give one of these kids a social opportunity while risking rejection by their own group of friends who want nothing to do with those kids. Sometimes, my children have been rejected. Sometimes, they have been the wall builders.  

So what do I tell my child to do? Be candid with the outcast child about his behavior: “When you jump on furniture and demand attention, it is annoying. I want to have plans with you, but you need to be more socially appropriate.” Most children don’t know how to say this and the outcast child probably can’t do it! Such a tactic is not realistic; most children couldn’t give or take that kind of feedback. 

Children would simply be cruel: “I would like to include you in our plans but I’ve been out-voted. The others don’t want to include you.” This is an evasion. In several cases, my child didn’t want to include the outcast either but felt obligated. Sometimes I insisted my child be inclusive. Sometimes I failed, too. 

We tried to forbid our children from being exclusionary. As Grace Palay put it, “you can’t say, you can’t play.” Yet, kids’ social groups have only limited fluidity and parents have limited control. As parents, we have made it very clear to our kids where we stand. Not all parents work that way. 

Some social groups were built by parents. Some social groups are maintained by them. I often wonder which one controls which? As a teacher, I see how the social worlds of parents and children are intertwined. In many cases, the kids are pawns in the parents’ social games. 

Some parents recommend their children conceal rejection with dishonesty: “Our plans have fallen apart and I have to go home and do homework anyhow.” Does this fool anyone? It is code. We all know what is being said. It is the same as the cruel statement and it is a lie. 

While white (or gray) lies may be easier in the short run, they are the most problematic solution. They avoid dealing with the real issues. They teach both the child lying and the child being lied to that this kind of dishonesty is a real solution; it is a cop out. It teaches kids that you can say and do nasty things if you cloak them in little lies.

Would you advise your child to be totally altruistic? “My friends aren’t comfortable with including you, so I will make plans with you by myself and not go with them.” How many kids reject their friends and run off with the outcasts?  Would your eight, ten, or fifteen-year-old do this? 

This solution is very costly. Very few kids want to be with these isolated children and the child who stands up for him or her often ends up isolated, too. Is losing friends worth reaching out to a child who needs one. Most teenagers will not make that trade. Could they make it once in a while? Is that enough? 

That leaves one option: “Sure, you can join us.” And that is the choice I struggled to get my children and students to make. 

Pointless

Recently, I heard teachers complaining about their districts’ grading policies. One teacher was against the policy of giving students 50% for missing work. Another railed against grade inflation and giving students points as behavior or completion rewards. 

Whatever you think about these issues, they both presuppose two ideas: that kids should earn points for classwork and these points should be used to arrive at their grades. I would like to challenge both of these assumptions. 

I have written about grading many times. I have asked questions about the side-effects of grades, made an argument against averaged grading, discussed grading’s arbitrary nature, presented the mathematical reality of averaged grades, discussed my way of evaluating students, and presented many stories and examples of the problems of our current grading systems. 

All of these issues rest on the reduction of student learning to points. We use points to make grading seem fair and based on students’ performance. Like money, students receive point payment for tasks: the better the proficiency, the more points. Usually, the total points possible are considered the top grade and students are given a letter grade based on how far away they are from perfect. 

So, a student who walks in without any skills or knowledge and, by the end of the term, has reached the desired goals, would end up with something like fifty percent (a failing grade). That doesn’t seem right, so we break down our goals and give students points for taking baby steps. Some students need more baby steps. These students’ grades will probably be lower.  This is because making more errors costs points, even if the student ends up fully proficient by the end of the term. Thus, the point average grade is really a measure of how quickly a student achieves proficiency. 

Teachers, schools, and districts have contorted themselves to find ways to make this system make sense. The “no zeros” rule is one of those attempts. The reason for this rule is that half of the grading scale is failure; each grade band is ten percent and everything under 60 is failing. Some schools have redistributed that scale more evenly. Some schools have said that practice (sometimes called formative) assignments should not be graded and points should only be given on end-of-unit exams and assignments (summative evaluations). 

How does a teacher determine the value of a point? Is a good thesis worth ten grammatical errors? Why is a question worth two, three, or twenty points? Points are not objective: the teacher makes professional judgments about what activities are worth. Good teachers do this well. Poor teachers can manipulate this – and kids can then manipulate their teachers and the system. 

Rather than learning, students can become grade grubbing point collectors. They must work hard and have a high degree of maturity to see the goal through the point payment. Every teacher can tell too many stories of the students who would negotiate every point. “It’s not about the points,” teacher says. “If the points don’t matter,” the student retorts, “then just give them to me!” Both points of view are misguided. 

Learning is not an average of accumulated minutia. Averaging points, as I have written before, devalues the learning process and penalizes students for taking more time to learn or thinking divergently, even if they eventually succeed in fully reaching the goals. Shouldn’t a course’s evaluation really reflect the student’s ultimate proficiency? 

How do you measure proficiency? What does it look like? The more complex the subject, the more difficult to do. Elementary arithmetic is straightforward. What about high school social studies, science, or literature? Points simplify this problem so completely that the real worth and complexity of the subject is turned into the collection of green stamps. Put your points on a page and trade them in for a prize! 

Points are not aligned with the way the working world measures effectively reaching goals. Many professions use object metrics, like sales and billable hours, there are many things like interpersonal relationships, team contribution, and non-quantifiable results that figure into employees’ evaluation. Is there a job where each thing is translated into pennies and put in a pot and then, at arbitrary times, pulled out and evaluated? There must be. Points are far too seductive not to transcend education. There must be employee evaluation systems that mirror grading. I’ll bet they have the same issues we are discussing here. Ironically, most teachers are not evaluated the way they evaluate students. 

The reason the point system is so popular is that the alternatives are messier and more difficult to implement. Teachers will average themselves into oblivion to prove that their grades are objective.  There it is: to make points unimportant and create a grading system that really values learning and the achievement of educational objectives, we must let go of the idea that learners must be labeled by letter-based categories.  

You can get rid of points but still assign letter grades. I did it. Teachers all over the world have lots of ways to do it. Here is a video of one talking about it. However, if we want systemic wide change that acknowledges that our real goal isn’t an A, but is helping students to be able to learn specific skills and understand specific content, then we must stop tallying the trivia and instead focus on the learning!  

Twenty Years Ago: January 2004

I was surprised by all the ways that January 2004 was similar to January 2024. It was quite different, of course, but the similarities showed how things had not changed. While this reflection on twenty years ago has been a wide-eyed tour of the past, it also shows how my present is still connected to that long ago time. 

I laughed when I described our return from vacation as, “mildly overwhelming” because I was feeling the same thing after I got off the plane with my twenty-something children and my aging eighty-something parents. 

Similarly, the entire family spent a few days, “bubble headed” then and now. We got home and everyone went to sleep, even though it was 7am. Some of us took longer to get back on Central Time – the same someones as twenty years ago. 

We arrived home exhausted and, as I went to bed, “I was so tired last night that when I tried to read, the book kept slipping from my hands.” I had napped earlier but it didn’t matter at all. We were pooped! 

Twenty years ago, my daughter got a stomach bug as we got home from vacation. The same thing happened this year. However, this year, she had to suffer on a plane back to D.C! I felt guilty that I could not nurse her the way I did in 2004. 

Fortunately, unlike 2004, none of the rest of us caught that bug. In 2004, it went through the house like that nauseating montage in the movie version of The Secret Life of Dentists. In 2004, we also shared colds; not doing that this year.  

I laughed out loud when I referred to, “The ladies of the morning;” my mother, my wife’s sister, and my wife’s aunt, who would always call us before 8am. While that no longer happens, my wife and daughter have a morning call routine now. 

As it was in 2004, I returned home and I almost immediately planned the next trip. Then it was a spring break visiting my cousin in Florida back then, this year, it is little jaunts, local science fiction conventions, and a February escape. We no longer celebrate spring break. 

January remains a month of dental visits for most of us. While we no longer have a dog, my daughter’s dog had his dental visit, too. He is in much better health than our elderly ailing dog was in 2004. I was considering doggie diapers, the insulin was so ineffective. 

When my parents moved recently, I found a disc with old photos. My father took photos of the house in 2004 for insurance purposes. Most of the house looked pretty much as it did before they moved. 

That is where the similarities end. In 2004, we had some significant snowfalls, the water main broke and we had no water for a while. The furnace’s pilot light went out and we spent a very cold evening before we figured out the issue. We saw The Lion King with the folks and the kids. It was a little much for our younger child. 

As I have written about in the past, our school moved finals before winter break a few years ago. In 2004, we had two weeks of class then finals, and then the start of the new semester. That makes things more stressful. I do not miss all that grading! I would sit in my younger child’s room and try to get on the school network since the school was just over the fence. Sometimes it worked. 

I often told the story that my parents complained that their grandchildren always used “please” and “thank you” with them. I didn’t know my reply was exactly twenty years old, “At dinner, when my father made his please-thank you comment, I informed him that we were making a special rule just for him. Where the kids normally said, “please,” they would instead say, “now” or “darn it” and instead of “thank you,” they would say “finally” or “it’s about time.”

My daughter made the school spelling bee. I really don’t like spelling bees.  I rehearsed and then officiated a bat mitzvah since our congregation had not yet hired a rabbi. Like this year, the end of the month brought snow and brutal cold. 

Finally, “I was awakened at 1:55am by a  phone call telling me that the folks alarm had gone off and should they send the police? At that time of night, I thought it best to have the police go look around. However, if the problem was something inside, a burst pipe or other problem, they wouldn’t see it. I needed to go to the house. So I got dressed, bundled up and off I went.” Fortunately, that situation has not happened often. My parents just moved out of that house and now live only ten minutes north of me. 

If you ask me what were the highlights (or lowlights) of January (or February) of 2004, I probably could not have provided many specifics. When I read my old journals, it come back powerfully. Things have changed so much, mostly for the better, but I miss when my kids were little and my parents were younger. I do not miss the frenetic and stressful life we lived in 2004. 

To Retire or Not To Retire

Because I retired earlier than most, I have become a go-to guy on retirement for others. They ask about what I am doing in retirement (anything I like) and if I like it (I love it). What they are really asking is, should they retire? I can’t answer that question. I can provide some information about my retirement, but I am not sure how much that will help others make a very personal decision. 

I always tell them that my retirement date was pretty much set in 1986 when I started teaching. Of course, I had to choose to retire, but the basic structure of my retirement was built into my job. 

From the moment I started teaching, people were talking about retirement. Most of the teachers at my school were old enough to be my parents when I arrived. It took a few years before there were five or six of us under thirty! We would roll our eyes as these old fogies would go on and on about retirement. It was so far away and we were so tired of hearing about it. During my first decade of teaching, the State of Illinois had a retirement incentive and large numbers of teachers retired. 

A teacher only gets paid for nine or ten months of the year. My wife and I had to stretch our money over summers every year. I believe that summers, both having no classes and having to work within a narrow budget, were great preparation for retirement. We did this for more than thirty years, so by the time retirement rolled around, we knew the drill. 

We also had wonderful retirement mentors. Many of our friends who retired before helped prepare us. They played the role of big siblings and coached us through our final few years. I remember a wonderful drive with a retired teacher. She talked about how, now that she was retired, she was no longer a teacher. She had stopped coaching and her children were grown up, so she wasn’t a coach or a parent, either. Who was she? She asked questions that hadn’t even appeared on my radar. As she shared her experiences, she provided me (and my wife) with plenty to consider as we moved toward retirement. I am happy to help people think through these retirement questions. That may be the best service I can provide. 

Thinking creatively about retirement early is my biggest piece of advice. Diving into retirement without any preparation feels like a belly flop into an unheated pool. Boom and ouch! I made a list of “In retirement, I might…” on my phone.  As I talked to people and went about my day, I made notes about things that I might like to do if I had more time or flexibility. Some were very concrete: take guitar lessons. Some were more a reflection of my working life: have a slower morning. Some were things I could never do on a school schedule: visit my children on their birthdays. I still have this list and I still add to and remove from it. It is not a contract. It is a set of “maybes” and possibilities. 

Just as seniors in high school or college often dislike that, “What are you going to do next year?” question, people peppered me with the “What are your retirement plans?” question. I knew a teacher who answered, “Move my house one inch to the right.” I told people that I was going to take a gap year or two (or more). I gave myself permission to explore, experiment, and see what worked (or didn’t). I had promised myself that I was not going to make any long-term commitments for my first years of retirement. 

I did end up substitute teaching briefly and, although it was nice to be back in the classroom and with my friends, it reinforced to me that I was ready to try other things. I was glad I did it because it validated my desire to go in a new direction. 

Of course, retirement is a financial decision, too. Some of us are lucky enough to have pensions. Some of us have been great planners and have ample retirement savings. Some of us need to figure out how to make ends meet. I met with the great folks at the Illinois Teachers Retirement System, so I knew exactly what my resources would be. 

I am happy to talk about retirement. I am delighted to share my five years of retirement experience. I love being retired – and my circumstances may not apply to everyone. I recommend retirement. I like it. I think many others will like it, too. I fear that there are far too many people who will never get to experience it and that is unfortunate. Don’t write it off. Consider it. Plan for it. Imagine it. Find folks who will help you see what your retirement might be – I am happy to be one of them!