You’re Not So Sure of Yourself, Are You? Good! Skill of Thought , Part 3

It seems like people value confidence and correctness. We hate to admit we are wrong. We trust people who convince us that they really know what they are talking about. When someone wavers, we see it as a lack of expertise. We wonder if we should believe their opinion. 

That’s unfortunate because doubt is the sign of both wisdom and knowledge. 

Each year, I would ask my comparative religion students to tell me something on which they thought everyone could agree. They struggled. Often, we came down to something like 2 + 2 = 4, although George Orwell might disagree. 

There is a reason why we can’t agree on much and there is nothing wrong with that. It is because questioning, doubt, skepticism, and thinking from multiple perspectives are crucial to strong thinking. 

This does not mean that everything is unknowable. Quite the reverse, one way that we do know things is because we doubt them, test them, rethink them, and apply them. This way we discover what is true and then test it when new questions arise. 

When someone says they hold something as true and have no doubts, I hope the real statement is that they have no doubts right now. They had some once and resolved them. They know that it is likely that they will have doubts again. They are in between doubts. They are checking out doubts about other things and this particular thing will have to wait its turn. 

There is a proverb that says that a fool has no doubts and a wise person has too many. Doubt can be crippling. It can prevent us from taking important action. However, the lack of doubts can make us rush in where even fools fear to tread. When we have no doubts, we may be overconfident and impulsive. A person who has no doubts probably doesn’t know enough – or is denying their doubts. 

Sometimes, we have doubts, but we wish we didn’t. We want something to be true. We need it to be true. We wish it were true – really, really badly. We swallow and silence our doubts because listening to them erodes our fragile beliefs. We know that what we think cannot stand up to scrutiny and we wish it could. That’s a sign that our thinking needs strengthening. That’s just wishful thinking. 

When people change their minds, our politicians “flip” their views, or scientists update or alter what they consider fact, we should celebrate! Wrong is a fact of life. Change is the nature of the universe. Growth is the opposite of death. It is good to doubt and question these and all other ideas. 

Silencing the nagging voice in our head that asks, “What about…?” does only one thing: it marries us to our current way of thinking. Sometimes that works. Sometimes, it is inaccurate, out of date, or just plain wrong. If nothing else, our own humility should compel us to ask ourselves, “How might I be wrong? What is the downside here? What is an alternative way of thinking?” 

Doubt is the seed of learning and growth. Questioning is the road to truth. It is more comfortable to ignore complexity and ambiguity in favor of consistency and simplicity. Yet, our growth as a society comes directly because great minds have challenged current conventions and beliefs and moved us all from darkness into the light. 

If you doubt the truth of this: good! Ask the questions, seek the answers, and keep learning – forever! 

Twenty Years Ago: December 2003

For so many years, December was the most challenging month of the year. The weather turns colder, the weeks of school between Thanksgiving and winter break are hectic, and there are many holiday celebrations. I am not sure this got any better as my children got older. Thus, my level of busy was at its peak, “My school computer froze on me yesterday and it is sitting in the tech office. I have a haircut, interdepartmental lunch, I’m teaching Humanities solo and I need the laptop cart in the computer lab. It is going to be one hell of a day. Oh, and did I mention there is an FAC meeting after school. Oh yeah, need to call the kids’ doctor to set up a nasal spray session for them.”

The dog was still waking us up early – but not enough. He was leaving us smelly surprises, too. He was nearly blind, but had an operation on his eyes that was helpful – and time-consuming. 

We celebrated Hanukkah with family and at temple. I was also getting ready for a special family trip for winter break! We had never been on such a long plane flight as a family. Boarding a dog with significant medical needs was challenging. I kept waiting for the kennel to tell me it was too much. They didn’t say that in December – but they did say it later. 

I noted that, although a lot was going on at school, it was the portion of the day over which I felt like I had the most control, “Teaching is a challenge today, but that was the easiest part of the day.”

Packing for ten days out of town with young children was stressful, “We are going to schlep a ton of bags. We have four small bags, several as little as one of our carry-ons, one large Pullman, a car seat, three backpacks (carried on), and one rolled-on carry-on. Thank goodness we do not have a connecting flight; with so many pieces of luggage, the odds of getting one misplaced are way too good. Unlike my usual strategy, two of the bags primarily have the kids’ stuff and three have mostly our stuff.” It was clear to me, even then, that we overpacked. Oh, well. 

One theme of this retrospective of 2003 is that we had lots of colds. December was no different. One of my children almost always had a cold and either my wife or I would share it. However, this was the first time that our children got a flu shot. That helped! 

As we got closer to winter break, I found I was more and more desperate for the time off, – “I just need some downtime. I just need some time to turn off the real world.” Recently, one of my children felt the same way. These trips are now more about being together than relaxing and decompressing – but that was not the case twenty years ago.  

When we finally left, the kids were great on the long flight “Both took naps, both watched DVD, both nibbled and read and played chess. They are awesome.” They were and are great travelers. I sat between them with lots of activities and things to eat. The trip there was laden with anticipation, which helped. 

The trip itself was wonderful. I think that getting away from Chicago’s gray and cold weather is healthy and helpful. A change of scene is also a great way to feel renewed and see things differently. However, we do make the distinction between a trip and a vacation. While there were some vacation elements, such as the children going to the resort’s kids club, this was most certainly a trip. 

One child had an issue with water in the ear that necessitated a house call from a doctor. We learned that, after a day of play, the kids might literally fall asleep at dinner if we ate too late. One fell asleep and I had to carry him back to our room. 

We celebrated Hanukkah and enjoyed the resort’s Christmas activities. My parents traveled with us, and have over winter break since the kids were born. It was great to be together. I have always been so grateful that my parents have been such an integral part of my children’s lives – and are to this day. 

On the way home, the kids were tired. Yes, they slept, but they were also out of sorts. No one was looking forward to going back to the cold – or regular life. And then we moved on to 2004, as we now move into 2024: with hope, with conviction, with anxiety, and with renewed resolve. 

Happy everything to everyone! 

The Emotional Fallacy: The Mirror in the Media

I was introduced to the idea of the emotional fallacy when studying literary criticism in college. The idea was that, instead of evaluating a work on the characteristics and qualities of the work itself, people sometimes respond to their own emotional response to the work. Thus, we are analyzing our individual and personal reactions and not parts of the work. 

For example, few people regard those highly sentimental movies about lovers, one of whom gets a terminal disease, and we watch their relationship grow as one of them dies, as great art. However, someone suffering from an illness or whose lover, mother, or friend had a similar situation might be touched emotionally. They would identify with the characters and situations in the movie. Their evaluation, therefore, might be a function of their response and not a result of the quality of the writing, acting, cinematography, editing, or other pieces of the craft of movie-making. They like the work because they relate to it. 

Yet, people judge works based on their own emotions all the time. They like things that make them feel good, inspired, or uplifted. They recoil from works that challenge their firmly held beliefs or make them think too hard. Sometimes, they miss the real art, skill, and beauty of the work because they are too caught up looking at themselves. Instead of examining the work, they see a mirror that reflects parts of themselves. 

We identify with a character and then that character becomes a stand-in for us. We think we know how they feel. We know how this plot goes because we have encountered situations like this in our lives. The work feels authentic and rings true because it mirrors our experience. 

Or our values. A work that confirms and supports our view of the world can be more appealing than one that challenges us to see a different perspective. A work that is simple and sweet goes down easier than one that is complicated and depends a great deal on the craft of storytelling. We like pretty pictures more than complex puzzles. 

Have you ever talked to someone who read a book you read or saw a movie you saw and thought to yourself, “Did we see the same thing?”  They may make a minor character into the protagonist because they see themselves in that character. They may impose their view of the world on the world of the story. They embellish the work with their values and experiences and transform it into an extension of themselves. Their response to it is no longer about the work.

Of course, creators want their audiences to connect with their works. They rejoice when their characters and situations are real to people. However, when the response centers on the viewer to the detriment of the work, we are no longer focused on the work – but on the viewer. 

It is not difficult to play with people’s emotions using words, images, music, or story. Advertisers, politicians, and propagandists frequently use anecdotes and compelling tales to manipulate their audiences. They are so good at this that their audiences rarely look behind the curtain to evaluate the vehicles themselves. They only see their images in the mirror. 

They see themselves in the characters and rewrite the story to fit their world, values, experiences, and prejudices. Think about the responses to the first Hunger Games movie when a Black woman was cast as Rue. The book made it clear that Rue was Black. However, many people who claimed to love the book rewrote that fact in their minds. They brought their bigotry to the novel and, when its explicit features were turned into a movie, it no longer matched what they recalled from the book – and they got mad! 

We recast the world in our own image. We rewrite the story to fit our values, wishes, and worldview. We think we know who are the oppressors and who are the victims because of course they reflect what we have seen and experienced in our world. 

And if it is not the same, if the story is not our story, we sometimes ignore those aspects of the text and rewrite it to reflect us. We create a confirming and comforting carnival mirror instead of analyzing the work itself. 

But the real story, the real movie, the real world doesn’t change. It isn’t just a mirror of us – and that can be difficult and uncomfortable to accept. It can make us the pawns of manipulators and Machiavellians. It can make us allies with evil.  

Reading for Treasure: Israel and Gaza

There is so much news coverage about the current conflict in the Middle East. Over and over, I find that my heart is broken. I read an article, see video, and then I cannot take it anymore. I realize that only my distance gives me that privilege, so I face again the horror both in Israel and Gaza and the reverberations around the world. 

It is not a straightforward situation. I chaff against the use of words like “simple” or modified by “just,” or preceded by, “all that needs to…” as if this is a knot that any casual observer could easily untangle. I wish it were so. Who am I to tell people half a world away how to solve problems that are centuries old? 

One way I have found to deal with this situation with integrity is with a “both/and” approach: The Israelis suffered a horrible pogrom and their response to it is causing another horror. The Palestinians have been treated dreadfully and Hamas is not moving them in a good direction. The hostages must be freed and all of Gaza is hostage to Hamas. Some of the criticism against Israel is valid and some is antisemitic. 

I do not see this situation objectively. As an American Jew, I empathize with my Israeli family. Yet, as a Jew, I identify with the downtrodden and see Gaza as another ghetto. Both/And. 

So here are some articles from The Atlantic, a publication I have come to both trust and admire. I am not advertising their publication, rather it has become a mainstay of my reading and understanding of a variety of issues. These articles represent several perspectives and were written through this awful time of war. 

My wish for this season, as we head to Thanksgiving, is for peace for all of us, a return of those held hostage, and an opportunity for voices like the writers below to be heard. Please give them a read. 

“My Message of Peace”

“Even the Oppressed Have Obligations”

“Hamas Must Go”

“The Children of Gaza”

“When Anti-Zionism Is Anti-Semitic”

“America’s Most Dangerous Anti-Jewish Propagandist”

I am currently reading Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Twenty Years Ago: November 2003

 I must have had a cold for all of 2003!  November in 2003 was rainy and my son had a cold, too. While later in his life, I would wish for rain to cancel baseball games, in 2003, I dreaded rain because it did not cancel his soccer games. Can you see how much I loved sitting outside watching my children’s sports? 

My elder child was trying to battle her way into the school’s gifted program. She was upset that she was not selected and I had to hide my relief, “There are so many problems with that program. If she was selected there would be more issues than if she was not. Let her do her “gifted” thing in high school. I do not see that those who have been TAP’d have any advantage over those who do not. Often, they are more arrogant and more concerned with grades. Some are brighter, most are not. This is a blessing in disguise.” Of course, my child did not agree – until she got herself into the program in middle school. Then she understood what I was talking about. Oh, well. 

In November of 2003, I was phenomenally busy, “I am fighting the overwhelmed feeling. This weekend, I’ll take my Sunday School class to Willowcreek. On Monday, I’ll get essays. I need to get a Shabbat service ready for 12/5. Mango Street and the Book Circle unit are coming up and I don’t feel like either is fully developed. I am feeling like a ton is on the horizon. My grades are done, the parent notices are due. Get me to the end of the year.” 

I was also preparing our yearly holiday card. Prior to digital photography, getting a good picture could take months: shoot a roll or two, have it developed, reject the results, rinse and repeat. Fortunately, in 2003, I had my first digital camera. However, my three editors/critics could be very demanding; they wanted only their finest images on our yearly greeting card. It took a while to come to an agreement. 

Like this year, November meant a Saturday at Windycon. Since I was preparing to officiate at a bat mitzvah, I was debating whether to see one more mitzvah on a Saturday or travel to the convention. I made the healthy choice and gave myself a wonderful Saturday of celebrating science fiction and fandom. 

It was in 2003 that I integrated my Sunday School curriculum. In 2001, I taught comparative Judaism and in 2002, I taught comparative everything else. Why it wasn’t clear to me that was out of balance then, I am not sure. Perhaps because I was out of balance, too. So, I reorganized religions by theme and philosophy, had five field trips per year, and acknowledged that, since my students were going to many of their friends’ mitvzahs, we didn’t need to go to Reform and Conservative services. They were getting more than enough of those. 

In November 2003, I took my Sunday School class for our first trip to the megachurch in Barrington, Willow Creek. It was a foundational experience for them – and for me. We have been going back to Willow Creek every other year since then. 

The dog’s issues amped up in November. It was clear that the dog was now blind. I joked, “We have decided that we need to hire a seeing-eye person for the blind dog. Well, not really, but poor PJ is really struggling and it will be a few weeks at least until he gets better, if he gets better. It is really tough.”

I took my new Humanities class on a field trip to the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. This raised my level of busyness to a brand-new pitch, “Teach until afternoon, meet with the team, come home, go back for the faculty meeting, come home for dinner and give PJ his meds and then go back for the field trip. I’ll be home again around midnight! But it will be a good day, even if it is an exhausting one.” My optimism must have substituted for my lack of sleep. 

If I was questioning the value and manner of grading my own students, the grades my children were earning furthered that process, “Over and over, I question the value of these report cards. In the short story we discussed in Power Reading today, ‘Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog,’ Edison invents an intelligence analyzer and predicts that we will be able to ‘grade people as easily as we grade oranges.’ Isn’t that what it is all about? I read my Humanities kids’ self-evaluations. One thing that came up a few times was their resistance to our grading system. Kids want to be graded. What a shame.” 

It is interesting to look back twenty years and see who was important in our lives then and now – and who we no longer see. We used to spend a great deal of time with neighbors who had kids the same age as our children. There were several families with whom we had both family and couple dates. We don’t see any of them anymore. However, there are folks with whom we were close that we see regularly. Yes, there is a message there: relationships based entirely on the kids didn’t last.

So, teaching, Sunday School, running Shabbat services, getting ready for a Bat Mitzvah, the neighborhood homeowner association (the annual meeting had to be planned), planning winter and spring break travel, taking care of a sick and blind dog, and the kids’ activities made November of 2003 a very long month. I am tired just writing that list. Oh! I noted that I joined the school crest committee at school. Did I ever say, “NO?” 

“Logic is a Wreath of Pretty Flowers Which Smell Bad:” Skills of Thought, Part 2

In my first year teaching high school, I was required to include a logic unit in my public speaking class. The idea was that, when students wrote and delivered persuasive speeches, they had to actively demonstrate that their reasoning was logical. 

Explaining logic to fifteen-year-olds was challenging. However, it turns out that learning it myself was just more difficult. The first time I taught syllogisms, I got things mixed up and had to reteach it the next day. I vividly remember a student who regularly came in for help, arriving by gleefully saying, “Mr. Hirsch, today NOBODY understood what was going on!” He was right. 

Logic is difficult. Logic can be manipulated. Some forms of logic are particularly prone to misinterpretation. Here is a very simple explanation: 

In deductive logic (like that which made Sherlock Holmes famous), a syllogism has two premises. One of these states a general rule, the major premise: All cats have whiskers. It makes a broad factual statement about a group of things or ideas. The second or minor premise makes a claim that is more specific and focused: Harold is a cat. We can use our Venn diagram to reveal that if the group of cats all have whiskers and Harold exists inside the circle of cats, Harold has whiskers. Simple enough! Well…not exactly. 

Of course, we have to be sure that both of these claims are factual. Are there cats that don’t have whiskers? Do we know that Harold is not a dog or a man who has a beard? Things can get muddy when the Venn diagram is related, but not overlapping. 

Try this one: All cats die. JFK is dead. Does that mean that JFK was a cat? This is a silly example and I am sure you were a step ahead of the very young speech teacher and his students. JFK is never shown to be a cat. We cannot reach a conclusion just because two things share a characteristic - and you can’t create a general rule from one example. 

This is where we often go wrong in our political discourse. We hear from many people that a single example proves a general rule. That is where inductive logic comes in; we draw a general rule by drawing conclusions from patterns we observe. This is the scientific method. 

In class, I used a simple example: I looked at the students’ footwear. I would point out that the boys in the front row were all wearing athletic footwear. Then I would note that the boys in the second row also had athletic footwear on. From these fifteen or so examples, I would conclude that all male students in the high school wear athletic footwear. 

Of course, I would be wrong. There would be a student out there in sandals (we were in Illinois, of course, and some kids would be in sandals and shorts well into the winter). I could make the statement (and be correct) that a majority of boys in school were wearing athletic footwear. Of course, many (usually most) of the women in the room were also wearing athletic footwear. 

That is why it is so challenging to create new generalizations inductively. It is why scientists doing research have a very high burden of proof and why their studies are so carefully scrutinized. 

Too often, in our public conversations, we think we have a general rule and are using deductive logic (although we may not use those labels) when we are in fact using specific examples that may or may not be enough to prove a generalization. 

Just because some people cheat on their taxes, does it mean that everyone does that? Just because some people who came from another country got in trouble with the law, does it mean that every immigrant is going to cause problems? Of course not! 

But politicians and advertisers will try to persuade people with powerful anecdotes and examples. They don’t explicitly say that their story represents EVERYONE or applies ALL THE TIME, but they want their listeners to make that logical leap – incorrectly. One testimonial doesn’t mean much. Ten testimonials are more powerful, but still may not be enough. 

Human beings want things quickly. We have learned, sometimes, that a few examples are all we need. I ate pizza two or three times and had terrible stomach aches afterward. So, I stopped eating pizza for years! Eventually, I had pizza again and found it was delicious and I had no ill effects. What a shame that I missed out on all those pizzas! 

We come to incorrect conclusions when we fail to think logically – and plenty of folks benefit by leading us down this illogical path. Fear and anger can make us less likely to think things through methodically. Lack of time can rush us into drawing poor conclusions. If we are invested in the conclusion or have high hopes that something is true, we may change our thinking to reach conclusions that please us. There are many logical fallacies (which we can discuss later) that can trip up our reasoning. 

In times when people debate what is and is not factual, we must slow down and use the tools that thinkers centuries ago developed. We must be like Mr. Spock and use logic to come to reasonable conclusions – and not be suckered into accepting seductive falsehoods that often benefit those who have a vested interest in fooling us!  

Selling the Family Home

My parents just moved. They had lived there for almost fifty years; it was the house I moved into at ten years old and the place my wife and children know as the “family” home. This is a significant and challenging transition for my parents. 

People ask me if I will miss the house. I guess I will. However, I have mountains of photos and more video of events in that house than anyone could ever view. More than that, I have real memories of the people I love gathering at that house. Those memories aren’t staying in the house. I will still have them. 

It was time for my folks to have a home without stairs. It is a wonderful bonus to have a home where someone else takes care of the roof, basement, landscaping, snow removal, and all those homeowners’ tasks that age you. It is great that my parents are moving into a smaller home in a retirement community where they can, should they choose, take their meals in the community restaurant. They will finally be able to enjoy all the good parts of homeownership and turn over the burdens to someone else. 

But not me! This is another reason that I am not feeling sentimental about the loss of my childhood home. My parents’ move makes their lives much better – and it enhances mine as well. They are moving closer to me, but it is far more than that. They are moving into a community with plenty of support for them as they age. Many of the issues I have seen friends face with their parents: moving into a care facility, caregivers, living independently, loss of driving, and many others will be considerably softened by their choice of location. In a very real sense, their move is a gift to the entire family. It makes helping them age well easier, safer, and more reasonable. It preserves their independence and mine. 

I spent some time gathering photos of the “old” house. I waxed nostalgic about my grandparents and many others who are no longer with us and spent so much time there. I took lots of photos before and during the sale of the house and during the move itself. I have not been at that house in more than a week, but like lots of figures who are no longer part of our lives, that house will always be with us. 

Perhaps I am fooling myself. Perhaps, after the new owners move in, I will feel differently. I doubt it – because this was never about a house or a place. I didn’t go to “the house,” I went to be with my folks. Yes, the house was a great place to gather, but we have other places that will work just as well. The house was important because of the people who lived in it. I will enjoy the new house and my folks’ new community for those same reasons.  

I would be remiss if I didn’t also note how grateful I am for the lessons I am learning in this process. My parents moved in their mid-eighties. My wife and I have talked about making this move a decade earlier. My parents, in this and in many other ways, are modeling thoughtful and graceful aging. I am taking notes. It is my sincere wish that they will be our elder guides for many years to come.