Carpools Need Lifeguards

On Saturday, April 18, 2009, five children were killed when their car ran off the road and into a waterway in Texas. According to CNN, the driver was not only distracted by his cell phone but failed a field sobriety test.

Who is driving your children? When you participate in a carpool, do you know how the other parents drive? We rationalize car pools because they are convenient and often take kids very short distances. But many accidents happen close to home.

I often see dangerous driving. More often, I see driving that is not dangerous, but just sloppy, rude and thoughtless. I do not want to put my kids in any of car driven that way. I participate in only a few carpools, and only with people whose driving I trust.

We all know good trustworthy people who are poor drivers. Being a good friend, capable worker, or intelligent person does not automatically make someone a safe driver. We sometimes over generalize and assume that, because she is a kind person, she must be competent behind the wheel. Perhaps that is wishful thinking.

This raises two questions: what kind of driver do you want moving your children and how would you know if the members of your carpool are that type of driver? The first question is far easier to answer than the second.

Good drivers are those who put the safety of those in and around their cars before all other concerns. Good drivers obey the law, pick up and parking regulations, and are polite and defensive drivers.

Observe the driving of parents at your children’s school and activities. Who drives as if she or he is in a rush? Safe drivers are never in a hurry behind the wheel. Who puts a child under the age of twelve in the front seat? It is easier to put a child in the front passenger seat when the only spot left is in the middle of a bench seat. That is both illegal in our state and unsafe. A smaller person will be seriously injured, if not killed, should the airbag deploy. Who is on his or her cell phone while driving? It is now illegal to use a cell phone in a school zone in our state. Who ignores speed limits, restricted parking, and other rules and guidelines? In our state, you must have your lights on if you are using your windshield wipers. While that seems like common sense, see who fails to do this. I do not want my child in these people’s cars!

Who uses signals regularly? Who moves very slowly in parking lots? Who is patient? Who thinks ahead, for example, leaving space for the bus to get in and out before it actually arrives at school. Who do you see insisting on seat belts and car seats? Who makes certain that kids only enter a car on the curbside? Who maintains order in his or her car?

You may or may not be able to spot these characteristics in the school pick up line. It is very difficult to figure out if those in your carpool are safe drivers. It is even more difficult to have a conversation about it because all parents will say, “Of course I put safety first and obey the laws!” Talk is cheap.

Yet, it is a conversation that could save our children’s lives. It may be easier to do so as part of a parent meeting. Carpool guidelines or pledges could be circulated through school newsletters. That could open the door to including them with the actual carpool schedule. While it may be awkward and uncomfortable to discuss these issues with other parents, it will be far worse when there is a car crash (is it really an “accident”?) and fingers are pointing.

Our kids will eventually be drivers. They will take their cue from us. If we ignore the rules, take short cuts and place convenience before safety, they are going to do the same thing. So listen to that nagging doubt when your child gets into certain cars and choose your carpool drivers carefully.