Put Down the Phone!

Not long ago, I was in an Imax movie and there were several teenage girls sitting next to me. The screen was BIG and the sound was LOUD. It was a very engaging experience. Yet, these girls were texting through it!

I came home to find that my son had a few friends over. They were seated at the kitchen table playing games on their phones. They were in their own worlds. The boys without smart phones were left out and eventually went home.

At my daughter’s college orientation, there were many parents who, despite having traveled to learn about their child’s college, were on their phones throughout important presentations.

Then there are those who cannot put down their phones even when it endangers their own or others’ physical safety. There are far too many drivers with their eyes on their phones instead of the road!  

What is going on here?  Why are we so obsessed with our phones? Why does using our technology supersede all other concerns? We make a statement with our phone use. We tell the people around us what is REALLY important to us.

Here are some my guidelines for smart smart phone use:

1. No use of the phone while driving. Not at stoplights. Not hands free. Not voice command. While I am driving, I drive. If my phone rings and I need to use it, I pull over.

2. I don’t do phone “work” in public amidst social gatherings. If I must send an email or text, I excuse myself and go to a private spot and do my business.

3. I do not use my phone as a toy when I could interact with the people around me. Waiting rooms, airports, and other solitary places are good spots to play games, read newsfeeds, or check websites. If it would be rude to read, it is not okay to use the phone.

4. I think it is acceptable to use my phone as a point of conversation. For example, I may show people photos on my phone or use its resources to find a restaurant, look up the answer to a question raised in conversation, or demonstrate something. In this way, the people around me are sharing my phone.

5. When I am having a phone conversation, I speak more quietly and go to an area away from people having face-to-face conversations.

6. I do not pull out my phone during public performances, presentations, or events. If there is an unavoidable reason to use my phone during a concert, speaker, or movie, I leave the room. And my phone is completely silent from the moment I enter a performance space!

7. The people present may not be ignored. If my phone rings and interrupts a conversation, I treat the people around me with the same respect I would give callers I am about to put on hold – and I do not leave them hanging for long. This is similar to the situation where, when I am talking to someone, my child comes up to me and asks for my attention. It is socially acceptable and appropriate to say to those with whom I am talking, “Excuse me for one minute, my kid needs me. I’ll be right back.”  The key here is that it must be this kind of situation. Which leads me to:

8. I am highly selective about which calls I will take. My default ring tone is silent. Only people I want to hear from are assigned a ringtone. My family and my close friends have individual ringtones. So I know who is calling without looking at my phone and many callers are simply directed to voice mail when I am otherwise engaged.

The big rule is people first, phones fourth.