The Tyranny of the To Do List

I confess that I am a list maker. I have a to-do list, lists for specific tasks, procedure lists, travel lists, important date lists, class lists, shopping lists, and countless other lists. I like to be organized, and I do not like to forget important things.

I use Wunderlist as my primary GTD (getting things done) tool. However, the truth is that my email is also a to-do list. My school planner is another to-do list as is my in-tray at my desk at home, my calendar, and even the open tabs on my web browser. And then there is my wife’s to-do list.  I am married to another list maker and, frequently, her list is my list.

I am very efficient. I am productive and focused much of the time. Yet, there is a downside to all these lists and this intense focus on productivity. My lists loom over my head like a sword of Damocles. Even if I finish all of today’s tasks, empty my email box, and clear all the items in my school planner, I will think to myself, “I can get a start on tomorrow’s lists!”

The list is like a never ending roll of paper. It will spool out into infinity. There is always another item on the list. There is always another task to be done. Sometimes I wonder who is in charge, me or my lists?

My joke became that I set aside every third Tuesday from 7:30 to 9pm to be spontaneous. I have it as a repeating list item. The truth is that I have to make a conscious decision to leave the lists behind. Forgetting them and just relaxing has almost become the last item on all the lists.

The lists do reduce my anxiety about forgetting things. They are a very good technique to help me manage my many roles and responsibilities. I believe they help me use my time more effectively.

But they are not the best choice for balance. Lists are addictive. We get a little dopamine kick every time we check something off our lists. I strive not to feel guilty when I open my pleasure reading book, turn on the TV, or do something off the list.

It is far easier to put things on the list than take them off. Sometimes I move things down my list until I realize that I don’t want to or cannot complete that task. Deleting a task feels like failure and probably costs ten of those little dopamine kicks.

I don’t think a “fun” list is the answer. Balance means setting the lists aside. The same strategies I use for efficiency may not be the best choice for leisure. The lists have an addictive quality and it is easy to see them as the solution for my challenges. I have tried the fun list approach. It doesn’t get me to have more fun; it gets me to make more lists. The real skill is letting go of the lists. I am still working on that.

Life is about far more than a never-ending roll of administrivia. It is unhealthy to think of the items on my list as standing between me and what I really want to do. So I hereby resolve to put all the lists in their proper place, just as soon as I get this blog post finished!