Thinking About The Class of 2020

I graduated high school with the class of 2019. Well, I retired in 2019, but I got to share their commencement ceremony, reunions, and special events. We had graduation parties and special editions of the newspaper, yearbooks, speeches, and plenty of opportunities to wax nostalgic and say goodbye. It was important to me as I ended my teaching career.

The class of 2020 will get none of that.

The class of 2020 has been on my mind as the realities that school will remain online through the end of the term sink in. I think that most of us would agree that canceling in-person school was the right decision. It still hurts.

Yes, it is the education that counts. I have no doubt that the class of 2020 will be ready for their next steps. A few months of online learning will not hinder them when they start their post-high school lives. Rather, it is the loss of those rituals and landmarks that concern me.

While it is easy to dismiss the high school class of 2020’s losses as minor, privileged, or whiny, I think that is a deflection. It minimizes what many of us are feeling: we are losing something that can never be recaptured. Important moments are going to vanish and we will never be able to experience them.

It is not an exaggeration to say that a high school graduation is the last time – ever – that a class and community will be together. One of the most emotionally difficult aspects of being a teacher is that most of my students walk across that stage and I never see them again. I get to say goodbye to some of them. I bump into a few over the years. Some stay in touch through social media or email. Some become friends. But a vast majority vanishes. More than thirty years of teaching and I don’t get over it. I rush around after graduation trying to connect one more time. And then they are gone.

On the second day of Freshman English, I ask my students to write about their first day of high school. I tell them to be very specific: whom did they meet, what did they feel, what were their first impressions, and what happened? I tell them be candid and promise that they are the only ones who will see this particular piece of writing (unless they choose to show it to someone or talk about it). They place this record of their first day of high school into an envelope and self-address it. I save it and send it to them just before their graduation so they will have a chance to look at their first day of high school as they approach their last. I have done this for decades.

So in my drawer, here at home, is a batch of letters from my class three years ago. Last year, I wrote them a note congratulating them on their graduation and wishing them well. I planned on just putting these letters in the mail in May.

This last week, I wrote a second letter to them, reflecting on their situation, asking them to be creative about finding ways to celebrate as soon as it is safe to do so (or create new ways that we can celebrate now), and letting them know that they are important to me – and to others.

You will not be surprised that I did not say “goodbye.” I have real trouble with goodbye and letting go, as I have written many times before.

There is a human need to mark these transitions and landmarks. What we are feeling, what you are feeling, what members of the class of 2020 are feeling is real, important, and natural. It should not be discarded or dismissed.

I am delighted that some schools have scheduled alternate ways and days to celebrate their seniors. Although this may be optimistic, it is also affirming.

In my new letter to my former students, I told them that we should celebrate their high school careers. We must celebrate the friendships and memories we made. There are many ways to do this, and I know these students will invent some that would never occur to me. Some might be online or use social media. Some might not be locked in a single moment, but allow people to participate over a length of time. Some might look totally different than the traditional way we mark the end of high school.

We must not let them this moment slide away from us without celebrating this class’s growth, importance, and accomplishments – and our love for them.

Congratulations to the Class of 2020. We wish you peace, love, and health – and we are eager to celebrate you and celebrate with you – and see you again, soon!