Letting Go of COVID Control

I have been struggling during this time. I love spending this time with my wife and kids, but I am concerned about people I care about who don’t live with me. While I am completely content to chip away at my list, clean the house, find interesting ways to connect, create, and be involved in my community, I am keenly aware that this is a time of great uncertainty and danger. And I have been living with that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach: fear.

So my goal continues to be to not lose this moment because I am afraid about what may or may not happen later. I am working to be present here and now. I want to be able to appreciate the moments I have with my family at home, on the phone, through video chats, texts, and emails instead of fretting about the dangers from which I cannot protect them.

 

I guess I need to let go of the protector father/husband concept, too.

 

It is easier written than done. I read an article talking about how one’s mindset affects one’s immune system, and anxiety hinders the immunity system. Did I really need to be told that fear is the mind-killer? Do I diminish my ability to stay well by making doomsday plans?

 

I am a planner. I like control. One doesn’t become a theatre director and English teacher unless one is constitutionally predisposed to being in charge. I am happier when things work according to my plans because I spend significant energy structuring all the pieces. I have checklists, to-do sheets, procedure documents, and contingency plans for my contingency plans. My father calls me a “belt and suspenders man.” It is an accurate description.

 

While there is nothing wrong with being thoughtful, prepared, and planned, it can be problematic when my need to direct the show is thwarted. I am in the wings for this crisis. My role is to stay out the way and do whatever I can to help those fighting this pandemic.

 

I am slowly learning how to do that. I am not a lead in this play. I am a bit player, an extra, and I must do my small part and let the show’s leads save me. That does not come easily to me, especially when some of those key actors don’t seem to know their lines or blocking and are terrible stage hogs.

 

I need to take my own grandmother’s advice and look at things positively. This does not mean ignoring, denying, or minimizing the things that make me anxious but putting them in their place. It does not mean throwing up my hands and saying I cannot participate in the struggle to improve our world, but finding healthy ways to contribute to the fight. And of course, letting go of my expectation of control.

 

A dear friend told me her version of the serenity prayer; she said the only good thing about hitting your head against the wall is that it feels really good when you stop. I must accept that much about this situation is out of my control. I cannot let that frustration destroy the good things that are right in front of me. I must not let my imagined horrors outshine my here and now blessings. There are things I can control. There are ways I can both help keep everyone safe and help make this a more just and peaceful world for everyone. I must understand the difference.

 

Writing this is one step. Doing it is another. I’ll get back to you.  

Reading For Treasure: COVID Trackers

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction! 

 

I have struggled with figuring out COVID statistics. I used to go to my state’s Department of Health page, but it was very difficult to understand. I couldn’t tell if things were getting better or worse and there was no way to put the statistics into context.

 

I have come to rely on two tracking websites that make both my state and other place’s information understandable and help me put compare my state to other places.

 

Here is an NPR article about the Harvard Global Health Institute’s map, which I find very easy to understand. Here is the actual website. 

 

The Atlantic has started the COVID-19 Tracking Project. They also include a tracker that focuses on race.

Using the Atlantic’s data, this website provides a very clear overall tracking of the outbreak by state. Each state is either in the red or in the green and then specific curves for each state are provided. This may be the clearest tracker I have found and it is the one I turn to most frequently.

 

Two other sources that are worth a look are NPR’s tracking page and a complex visualization at Domo.

 

Different trackers may work for different readers depending on what data makes sense to you and how you prefer to see the situation represented. I have found that all of the above sources agree on the overall trend. You will not be able to find better or worse news between them, just different ways of representing the data.

 

Currently, I am reading Dawn by Octavia Butler.

Physically Safe, Emotionally Supported, and Academically Engaged: Twelve Ideas for School in the Fall

In person or not in person, that is the dilemma. Schools are trying to figure out how they will engage with students in the fall. Some schools have already decided that they will continue teaching via computers distantly. The American Academy of Pediatricians has recommended that schools open in person and have provided guidance about how to do that.

 

It is a complex and dangerous problem. For the most part, schools like to play it safe. In this case, all the options are significantly problematic. Bringing students into the school building is fraught with medical risks, but teaching them at home has not been working well.

 

Some parents may choose to home school their students in the fall. Students and staff members may spend large chunks of time unable to attend or connect to school due to illness, family assistance, or other problems. The 2020-2021 school year will be the opposite of routine.

 

What should schools do?

 

Distance learning has not been successful. Returning students to their classrooms creates hygiene, space, attendance, and countless other challenges. While there appears to be evidence that children are less likely to get COVID-19 or infect others, we have already seen the problems that come of even small number of infected people in groups.

 

Recognizing that one solution will not work for every student, school, or family, here is my brainstorm list of school opening possibilities:

 

Build the Relationships First: Spend the first few weeks, regardless of whether they are in person, remote, or both, getting to know each other. Focus on building the student-teacher and classroom relationships: bonds first and give the creation of that bond significant time and priority.

 

One Student At A Time: Consider one-on-one options. Could teachers and other staff members check in with kids for brief periods a few times each week? Could teams of teachers collaborate such that they have a shared group of students with whom to connect? Fine tune curriculum for each individual student. With absences, illness, and the many challenges this time is bringing, it is likely that few students will be in the same curricular place and one size will fit no one. Focus on each student singularly. 

 

Teachers, Not Students, Change Rooms: Organize students so they are with kids who are taking the same classes and then move the teachers from room to room and leave the kids in the same place. If a group of eight to fifteen students stay in the same room and work with a team of teachers, we have limited the number of people with whom they are connecting, removed lots of hallway and lunchroom exposure, and given students a singular home that could be sanitized. In addition, we create a team of teachers working with the same students!

 

Classes In Person, Broadcast, and Recorded: Make sure that all in-person classes are simultaneously broadcast to the kids at home as well as recorded and posted. We must constantly plan for lots of short and long term absences of students and staff! This is another argument for teams of teachers working together.

 

Classes in the Community and Outside: Move classes out into the community and incorporate community service activities that connect to course concepts. Move classes outside to the greatest extent possible.

 

School Families: Create multi-age groupings of students and form families or Harry Potter style houses. Eating together helps bring people together. So does low-level self-disclosure. We all know that just because students were born in the same year does not mean they are developmentally in the same place or possess the same skills or knowledge.

 

A Huge Group Project: Make the first few weeks of school one big group project. The group might be the class or a larger team or the entire school. This could be a community service project, figuring out how school will work, career-focused, problem based, or some other highly engaging active work. What if school was transformed into a singular enterprise working together toward a shared goal?

 

Integrate the Arts and Student Support Services: Have every class have an art, music, theatre, and/or dance component – and teacher. Ask counselors, social workers, case managers, school psychologists and others to stop by classes on a regular basis. Make sure they become an integral part of the classroom community.

 

Slow Down and Focus on the People – not the Content: Slow down the curriculum and the content and focus on the people instead. Make sure that students and staff get to know each other really really really well. Rather than focusing on coverage and content, be sure that social-emotional needs are met and that students are psychologically and physically well. Treat every student as if they are suffering from trauma – because they are. 

 

Look at Grading Differently: Make evaluation far more in-depth than letter grades. Ask students to create criteria and then to self-evaluate. Make these evaluations meaningful and relevant to students. Ask kids to track their growth over time. Make sure that every child knows that the goal is for that they succeed and earn an A  - whatever A looks like.

 

Create a Department of Parent Connection: Support parents and families that are struggling with childcare, food, shelter, and other issues. Many universities now have offices of parent communications. Perhaps having some staff dedicated to coordinating assistance to and communication with parents would be a good way to open school’s door wider – and thus provide even more support for kids! 

 

Each Teacher and Class Must Partner With Parents: Include and partner with parents and families. This means reaching out to parents on a regularly. Elementary schools often have a home newsletter, why couldn’t middle and high school classes also reach out to home in both directions? Parent phone calls and emails will be critical, too!  Home and school must be even more closely connected than ever before.

 

I have not addressed nitty-gritty issues like busses, making hallways one way or having two-stage passing periods (even rooms, odd rooms). Such logistics must not be allowed to overshadow making sure that students are physically safe, emotionally supported, and academically engaged. Schools must focus on how to best support students and their families.

 

Some old structures will be useful, but many will be restrictive and problematic. Schools staffs must be willing to reinvent school, let go of rigid mindsets, and be highly creative. They should talk to each other and learn from each other – and from any source they can!

 

Here is an outstanding article that I saw after I finished this entry that goes into more depth into some of the same ideas and some even better ones!