Passover is not Passive

The Passover story is powerful. It is about freedom from slavery, plagues, and persecution. It asks us to do more than retell the story but to imagine that we lived it. It is a story of people who took action and transformed their world. Our world is in need of such people and transformation. 

If we are to keep Passover, we must go beyond our diet. I have written about this before. 

At a time when our world, our country, our families are facing so many challenges, keeping Passover means putting its lessons to use. Perhaps, at our seders, we can ask each other, what can we do to help those who are bound become free?  How can we help cure the world of the many plagues that ail it?  How can we help strangers who have left their homes, since we were once strangers? 

A simple way for those of us still sheltering in our homes is to donate to organizations that do this good work. Here are a few Passover causes that need your keeping: 

Support groups working to rid the world of human trafficking, like A21.

Help those who are struggling to feed their families during this time by donating to Feed America. 

Work against the plague of racism and hate by giving to groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League. 

There are many suffering from COVID and other illnesses. While there are many charities that provide care, fund research or assist patients, Partners in Health is an outstanding organization that works to bring healthcare to some of the world's neediest populations. And if you haven’t read about its founder, Paul Farmer, I highly recommend the highly inspiring and challenging book Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracey Kidder. 

Give to those who are helping the strangers at our borders and in our land by contributing to National Immigration Law Center or RAICES. 

There are many more; these are just examples. Passover can be more than a personal holiday, more than meals and special foods. It can be a time when we take its lessons and help change lives.

Passover is about confronting injustice, living our values, following our laws, realizing freedom, becoming a nation, and more. These are our challenges today, too. Let Passover inspire us to do more than give up bread, but to take the steps needed to create miracles that transform our world.  

Reading for Treasure: Confronting Anti-Asian Hate

Reading for Treasure is my list of articles (and other readings) that are worth your attention. Click here for an introduction!

We must forcefully denounce the horrible hateful acts against people of Asian descent. Just as we deplore racist acts against Black and brown people, the LGBTQ+ community, and other racial, ethnic, and religious groups. American’s strength is its diversity. Here are a group of articles to help people, primarily people who are not affected by this kind of bigotry, both understand, speak out, and act. 

“#StopAsianHate: United against racism, misogyny + white supremacy”: Marc H. Morial is the President and CEO of the National Urban League. In this piece from Afro, he responds to the murders in Atlanta and the wave of Anti-Asian hate crimes. He lists six specific actions to combat this kind of racist violence, “After four years of policy, rhetoric and messaging at the highest levels of government that fanned the flames of bigotry and inspired acts of violence against communities of color, the pandemic has brought us to a crossroads. It exposed America’s racial fault lines in nearly every indicator – health care, economic stability, justice, and democracy -and forced the nation to confront its legacy of white supremacy. We must seize the opportunity to create lasting change by emerging from this crisis a stronger nation determined to achieve a more perfect union for all its people.”

“We Must Confront Anti–Asian American Hate Crimes”: Far too few of our leaders have spoken up.” Larry Hogan is the governor of Maryland. His brief piece in The Atlantic urges all of our elected officials, “in both the public and private sectors and across the political spectrum, to clearly and forcefully denounce the hate. Far too few have spoken up directly to condemn these acts. Words—or the lack thereof—matter.” He also points out, “But words should be accompanied by action.” 

“A Letter to the Jewish Community from an Asian American Jew”: Lest we think that the racism is simply “out there,” Mira Baum writes in JMore about her experience as a Jewish woman of color experiencing racism in the Jewish community. She makes a powerful call to accountability, not only Jews but especially Jews: “I’m holding you accountable. There are Jews of different races and they face racism. They, too, require the same protection and validation that White Jews receive against anti-Semitic attacks. While anti-Semitism and racism are different, they share a commonality: they are both founded upon and reinforced by baseless hatred. You need to legitimize experiences of racism, even when the racism is found within our places of worship. We must remain accountable for our actions and actively work against the many forms of baseless hatred that persist in our culture.” 

“What to Do Instead of Saying 'I Don't See Race'”: Aisha Jordan writing for Lifehacker addresses the problem with the concept of race blindness, “ The truth is, racial colorblindness only benefits those who have the privilege of not needing to think about race in their daily lives. Those who are unlikely to be discriminated against have the luxury of buying or renting homes, going into stores, or interacting with law enforcement without being reminded of the color of their skin.” She puts this concept in clear perspective and provides both the rationale and alternatives to the cop-out of denying race. 

“Donating, Volunteering, Reporting Hate Incidents: Here's How to Help Combat Anti-Asian Violence”: Time Magazine presents a good list of actions and resources to fight against this plague of hate. 

I am currently reading A Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse

What Reasonable Person Would Run For Office?

I once heard it said that anyone who desires the immense power of the presidency must be insane and therefore should not be allowed to hold the office. While this might leave us without a president, the statement has been rattling around in my head for a while.

The question it raises is: why would anyone want to be president, or more generally, who in their right mind would seek political office? The way our elected officials behave and are treated seems horrible! Who would willingly subject themselves to that? 

They are constantly seeking reelection. All politicians must raise money, lots and lots of money. Politicians and their families are under the most unforgiving microscope and have no real privacy of any kind. 

It might all be worth it if they could make a real difference in people’s lives – and they can. Sometimes. Our political system has always been slow and labor-intensive. One could argue that is a feature, not a bug. However, recently, good legislation seems less important than partisan power. Making a difference in people’s lives is secondary to ideology, grandstanding, and poll points.  

Why would any reasonable and bright person want to play this game, especially when there are so many other ways to do real good? The answer "to save us from the evil politicians" smacks of savior syndrome. 

Maybe those we really need to serve in government have the reaction: there is no way I would want to do that! The converse may also be true. Has our hyper-partisan political landscape attracted power and attention seekers who thrive on conflict? 

Who wants to debate facts? Who wants to get mired in cults of personality? Who would choose to be insulted and berated? Who wants to collect sound bites and headlines in order to spin public opinion? Being a public servant sounds like submitting oneself to abuse! 

This may at least partially explain why we have a never-ending string of politicians who abuse their power. Lord Acton’s statement applies to more than absolute power. Power can be addictive and inebriating. It can trick a person into believing their actions are always justifiable and that consequences are only for the powerless. 

Of course, there are public servants who are dismayed about the state of our political landscape and wield their power responsibly and reasonably. Thus the question becomes, how do we encourage more people like them and fewer Macbeths! I don’t have a good answer. 

Changing the rules of the political game has been a windmill at which many idealistic Don Quixotes have tilted. The system is so complex and intricate, and the stakeholders are so invested and entrenched, that the task seems impossible. It might be.  

Campaign finance reform might be a starting point. It is difficult to ignore the interests of big donors when your reelection campaign depends on them. Having more money to spend on ads is required to run for office. Wealthier individuals and those who raise more money have a greater chance of winning. And the relationship between power and wealth is far from healthy.  

What are the characteristics that we would like in our elected officials? Honesty, integrity, intelligence, empathy, thoughtfulness, collaboration, perceptiveness, and being a good listener are traits that would be beneficial. We want people with specific knowledge and skills. We want responsive communicators who have experience solving problems like ours and are experts in making the system function well. Is that what we see in congress now? 

We have a few, but they are being shouted down by those who, if we judge their motives from their actions, place the power of their party before the needs of our country; who worry more about how to gain an advantage over their opponents than solving the nation’s problems. Would you hire these people if they applied for a job at your workplace! 

We all know what it is like to have a destructive co-worker. I hope few of us have worked at places where we felt the culture was toxic. While there are some people who thrive in a hyper-competitive, cutthroat, and self-serving atmosphere, most of us would prefer a workplace that is collaborative, positive, and supportive.  Remember those ball hogs who ignored the rest of the squad? Most of us want to be part of an interdependent team – and deplore the player who sees the rest of us simply as means to their individual success. 

Good organizations have systems to encourage and train upcoming leaders. Businesses work hard to identify and nurture those who are likely to make their future successful. Imagine a workplace that promoted those who were the loudest, most aggressive, and self-promoting – not those who brought in business, helped the company thrive, or were good at building successful teams. Other than government, where do we reward traits that would make a person a pariah? 

Why do people vote for power-hungry want-to-be dictators who produce nothing more than sound, static, and struggle? For now, let’s consider how we can support the positive leaders and encourage negative ones to try something more suited to their temperaments, like reality television, perhaps.  

The Pandemic’s Silver Summer: Looking Back at 2020 – Part 3

The pandemic closed everything and turned us into homebodies, but the summer had a different flavor: our children were home! Our daughter, Quinn’s arrival on Memorial Day weekend changed everything. It had been decades since our house was this full. The puppy was delightful. Most of all, we were together.

Quinn’s childhood room had been transformed into an office without a bed. So the little guestroom became her base of operations. Quinn didn’t mind the different bedroom, however, she missed her apartment in DC and living an independent life. Not an easy transition for an adult in her twenties. 

It was getting warmer. My daughter’s bedroom needed some fans to keep it cool. But we could gather outside. We had friends on our patio, meals on my parents’ porch, and lots of outdoor activity, especially walks. 

At the same time, George Floyd was killed in Minnesota and a nationwide examination of racial justice reignited.  I joined an online racial justice discussion group facilitated by a friend and a Facebook discussion group called Justice in June. We donated to a long group of charities that both helped people protesting and worked to dismantle systemic racism. 

Yet deaths from both pandemics kept coming. Several Deerfield High School retirees passed away. My parents lost dear friends. There were several devastating and sudden deaths of people in their fifties and sixties. And a parade of parent losses. The summer was marked by Zoom funerals, condolence cards, and tribute contributions. A virtual shiva cannot replace the real thing. Comforting the bereaved became a much more challenging and important thing to do. 

At home, Pippin, my daughter’s dog, was the center of our universe. We walked him three or more times a day. He loved having a backyard and went in and outside constantly. The dog’s presence brought more joy and happiness than I ever anticipated. He was a saving grace while my daughter had been alone, and they brought that warmth back here. 

We were always walking. We walked with friends and their dogs. We went to forest preserves. We played in the fields next door at the high school. We chased and ran and threw balls and picked up lots of poop. 

Walking a dog opened doors we didn’t know existed. We met other neighborhood dogs and their owners. The dogs had impromptu wrestling sessions and scheduled playdates. Neighbors were drawn to us because we were walking a friendly and beautiful animal. Pippin loved other dogs, neighbor’s children, and everyone he met. We shared his popularity. 

We helped with his maintenance. We took him to a dog wash attached to a car wash. He was neutered and in a cone for several weeks. My daughter worked hard training him; he learned to give a high five, tolerate ear cleanings, and sit at intersections. He became an integral part of our family. Putting him at bed at night was a family ritual. 

All that walking was more than my wife could handle. She was still struggling with her back. We met with two new surgeons. She had a CAT scan, which showed her back was the same as before surgery in February! Finally, we met with a doctor at Northwestern downtown and planned for a second surgery at the end of July. 

My son was conducting informational interviews every day. He was learning to network and teaching himself about selling sports tickets. When he wasn’t on the phone, listening to a podcast, or reading about sports business, he was working out. 

One of the nicest aspects of the summer was that, after each phone conversation, my son would come from his room to mine and discuss his call. I got a view into his job search that I would never have had if he were far away. 

I was staying in touch with friends, family, former students, and colleagues. I sent emails, texts, called and met people for walks and on the patio. I worked hard to stay connected. 

My friends from school were struggling with online learning and were relieved when school ended. Things were messy; teachers and students struggled to balance all their competing needs. I attended online concerts and performances. I saw the school’s online commencement and then went to the drive-through graduation in the parking lot. It was nice to see kids and share in their undiminished joy. While it lacked the pomp of the regular graduation, it was a welcome chance to see people in person for a positive purpose.

The school was working hard to end the year and plan for the upcoming fall. There were changes in roles, courses, and, of course, how classes were taught. Almost every day, someone said to me, “Aren’t you glad you retired when you did?” Yes, but I was feeling bad for my friends still in the classroom and did whatever I could to support them. 

I took photos of the kids, the dog, my parents, and our friends. Like this post, I worked hard to document this strange time. I hope it is an unusual time and not something we experience again. 

I was reading, especially books for my book groups, but I had far less time to just sit and read. We had three cars, but we didn’t go anywhere. Students and friends from long ago reconnected. We attended online weddings. The high school retirees met on Zoom. My Sunday school students celebrated our Confirmation service online. I started tutoring a young man for his bar mitzvah. 

Most of our congregational activities were online. We had our annual meeting, a trivia night, and regular Shabbat services on Zoom. People attended from all over the country. Yet, we wanted to see each other face-to-face or mask-to-mask as was becoming the norm. So we created an outdoor and distanced tailgate party at a train station parking lot. People brought outdoor chairs, stayed six feet apart, and had a meal together. It was delightful to be together. 

Some folks felt confined and were out and about far more than they would admit. My wife went to a gathering of friends and was shocked that it was not distanced and she was the only one masked. We talked about how we should handle these kinds of awkward, uncomfortable, and dangerous situations. 

We spent a lot of time planning dinners. We had wine and cheese happy hours. We ordered from restaurants all over. We ate ice cream! We mastered Instacart, even if ordering was sometimes a laborious group project. We tried other grocery services, but their websites were problematic. We ordered from Jewel and couldn’t change an item when there was an error. We canceled that order and remade it – but both orders showed up! We never had more ice cream in our house then after this ginormous double order! 

All of this eating meant that our dishwasher was working overtime. It died eventually and I became our dishwasher for weeks until we got a new one. 

My daughter had not set a date for her return to D.C. At one point, it looked like she was going to be ordered to return to her office, but as the election approached, those plans were thankfully scraped. She decided to stay through July to help after her mother’s surgery.

Houses continued to be sold in our neighborhood. Some of the folks moving in were families of my students during my last year of teaching. Some were my former students moving in with their spouses and children! 

Two former students married each other and we participated in their outdoor wedding shower – and it rained! A shower in a shower! Father’s Day was so hot that our celebration was cut short. The kids and I took the pup for walks along the lake.

The country seems to be struggling to stay safe. People were reluctant to take proper precautions. The COVID numbers were going up and more people were becoming ill, going to the hospital, or dying! 

It was hot outside. We were cleaning the basement, vacuuming, dusting, and doing laundry. My wife watched all the new TV series. She was in constant contact with a long list of people, many of whom would drop by for distanced visits on our patio. 

Since we didn’t want to linger in front of the greeting card section of a store, I started making my own, but we ordered a package of condolence cards. 

It became clear that our daughter was going to make regular trips between D.C. and Chicago. Although her ten-year-old Prius was in good shape, it lacked the safety features of newer cars. So we shopped for a replacement. By the end of the summer, she was driving a car that was as safe as any on the road: another red Prius! 

Going to get my car’s emissions checked felt normal, but my medical visits felt frightening. There were fewer sports on TV, but my family was still watching the Cubs. I no longer wore a watch. Taking a single journey in the car was unusual. Taking more than one was outrageous. We watched Hamilton on TV! We huddled in the basement during a big summer storm. We played Wingspan! 

At the end of July, my wife had her second back surgery. We went downtown to Northwestern and checked in around 5am. They took her and left me in the waiting room. I couldn’t stay with her or go to her room; I walked to the lake and saw the sunrise. She called to say that they couldn’t find her COVID test! Instead of morning surgery, she ended up in the afternoon; instead of a one-hour procedure, it took three hours! Instead of going home, she spent a night in the hospital. I had a positive conversation with the surgeon, but I went home alone.

I returned to the hospital the next day and brought her home – along with pizzas from Uno’s! It was quickly clear early that this surgery went much better than one in February. She started taking short walks. She joined Quinn on the morning dog walks. We had follow-up visits with the surgeon. She was doing wonderfully! It also helped that she had three nurses helping her recover. By the end of the summer, my wife was walking pain-free! 

The World Science Fiction Convention was held virtually from Wellington, New Zealand. Our plans to get out of the Chicago winter vanished and we canceled our trip. I was able to get a refund for our flights. My wife hoped we could take a warm-weather winter retreat. I hoped she was right. She wasn’t. I went to a gala event for a local theatre and got to Zoom with Gates McFadden, Dr. Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation! 

As September approached, our friends at Deerfield High School prepared for remote classes. I called all my Confirmation Class families to talk about the coming Sunday School year. 

High Holidays were approaching and the rabbi asked if the kids would like to read. All the readings were recorded, so the three of us dressed up and read for the camera. 

My son got his flu shot. My daughter promised to get hers when she got back. We went to a forest area and had a lovely picnic before their departure. I had to stay in the moment and enjoy being together rather than worry about what the future held. I didn’t want to miss my kids until they were actually away. 

They shipped some things to D.C. and stuffed the new car. Neighbors came over to wish the kids (and the dog) a good journey and brought gifts, drawings, and even cheese for the dog! Then, on a rainy Saturday morning, they drove east. My daughter had been home for 105 days! They drove to Pittsburgh and visited Quinn’s best friend before getting back to D.C. on the Sunday before Labor Day. And the toilet in her apartment was broken when they arrived! 

Our dear friends’ daughter was married on the same day. We watched the wedding online. The house was quiet and, soon, extremely clean. We took longer walks. My wife went to physical therapy and eventually started yoga! In October, she had the last surgeon check-up via telehealth. She was finally feeling better! 

Sunday School began at a nearby park. We stayed distanced, wore masks, and sat in outdoor chairs. It was nice to be in the same space with the students. The weather cooperated. Class with masks is a challenge. Kids struggled to speak up, so I made mini-megaphones so our soft speakers could be heard.  

Signs of COVID were all around. Our niece got it. Several neighbors got it. It wasn’t just out there. 

We attended a distanced gathering of my former department. It was great to see people and hear about school. They were working harder than ever. Friends had babies and we shared their joy by sending gifts. We went to our Loyola class and another classmate got COVID! My daughter struggled to register her new car in DC.

High Holidays arrived and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg died moments before the first service. Fortunately, services were wonderful and, despite being distanced, connected us to our congregation and the larger Jewish world. We even had Zoom gatherings after each service. I played schmooze director. 

Missing the kids was no longer a punch in the gut but was still a strong pull. They had not lived together recently except on vacations. They were doing well and helping each other. We talked daily. I cared about the substance of the conversations, but just hearing their voices or seeing their faces was the important part. 

Summer turned to fall, but the weather was still delightful. We moved toward the election and worried about the country and the appalling things that people said and did. We learned some terrible truths about many people. It was another kind of loss. 

We went to the school’s outstanding fall plays! My wife got her hair cut, but I would not. We continued to walk the neighborhood and enjoyed other people’s dogs. We had dinner outside with my parents. I continued to be their technical support. 

We cleaned the basement and discovered old documents and scanned them. We got into a routine of monthly contributions to charities. We always gave to several food banks as well as groups that helped with critical services or worked for social justice. 

Friends of many years moved from the neighborhood. We had lovely dinners with neighbors and friends, even as we dressed more warmly. Sunday School in the park became cooler and we eventually moved to Zoom. 

I reached out to people and encouraged them to vote. The president and much of his circle got COVID! It didn’t seem to matter. My cousin became a grandmother for the third time. We hadn’t seen her kids during the entire pregnancy! We cut down a dying tree in our backyard. I created our holiday card. I went to a friend’s barbershop concert online! 

We got our mail-in ballots. I researched judges and other offices. The first presidential debate was not presidential at all! It was shocking and awful! 

October 19 was our 500th day of retirement. I celebrated by dropping off our ballots at the township center. I attended a virtual Star Trek campaign fundraising event. I learned that Stacy Abrams is an avid and very knowledgeable fan!  Mayor Pete is also a Trekker, and Andrew Yang was no Trek slouch! 

I listened to a friend’s concert in Tel Aviv, went to an outdoor distance Sukkot service, and attended too many online shivas. We got our flu shots. Our neighbor’s cars were robbed in their driveway. The school put fake coyotes in the fields that scared away geese and freaked out neighbors. The congregation did another distanced tailgate party; it was much chillier than the first. The wonderful DHS Friends of the Arts hosted Facebook live showoff showcases that let us see what kids and teachers were doing. 

My daughter sent photos of the dog (and her brother) in D.C. We longed to be closer to them. Our son started to pursue job possibilities and continued to have several information interviews each day. The coming election contributed to our daughter’s intense workload! 

I read book after book, listened to podcasts on my solo walks, and watched TV shows as I worked out in the morning. We took walks in forest preserves around Lake County.

Like thousands of others, I got a letter from the Illinois Department of Employment Security saying I had applied for unemployment insurance. I had not! So I battled identity theft.  

We celebrated my wife’s birthday with food from all over the area. The kids called. I made a card. A few days later, we had a neighborhood-wide Halloween celebration. More children came to our house than ever. We put candy on a table at the end of our driveway and stood at a distance. Kids and their parents paraded down the streets. It was so nice to see everyone, even if it was through a mask and far away. 

As we moved toward November, the election, and the end of the year, we still savored the summer. We were so grateful for a summer with our children, even in the shadow of COVID. Would they come home again? What would the end of the year hold? Our worries warred with our hopes.