Graduation Was Different This Year

The graduation venue was not the beautiful concert hall in the park this year. It was scheduled to be on the athletic field, but the cold and rain forced it into the gym. And while the musicians were recorded and the graduates masked, many of the traditions were maintained, translated, or acknowledged. 

Graduation was different this year. 

People were missing, not only because the venue was smaller and each student was only permitted two tickets, but because some of the graduates, for a variety of reasons, could not attend. Some family members could not attend, and some family members were present only in memory. It had been a year when the flag was always at half-mast. Many faculty members were not present. They usually greet the graduates in their academic robes. The CDC said that an indoor group gathering like this is safe if vaccinated and unvaccinated people are masked, but even so, not everyone was willing or able to participate. Still, the ceremony was streamed live, so people could watch from afar. 

I greeted my former students and colleagues as the kids lined up for the processional. It was good to see students and staff after a year of pandemic winter. Even if it didn’t feel like spring outside, smiles shined through the masks. 

I don’t think students have ever hugged me like they did at graduation this year. No one asked if I was vaccinated (I am). The physical contact was initially surprising and then oddly comforting. My students haven’t seen me not only due to the pandemic but because I retired after their sophomore year. I had stayed in touch and visited before school closed. I promised them that I would attend their graduation and celebrate with them. However, the pandemic changed what we were celebrating. This was more than a culmination of high school. This was more than the traditional commencement. 

Graduation was different this year. 

Seeing people on screens, video chats, social media, email, and text is not a replacement for sharing the air, space, and time together. Some of my students were surprised to see me. I emailed them a congratulatory note a week prior. Our relationship had survived the distance. 

Sometimes, when I am talking to my family on the phone or chatting over a video call, I feel unsatisfied. I want more than I can get from the voice and image. Yet, talking and even seeing my child on the screen isn’t enough. What a needy parent I must be. Last year’s graduation, and my son’s college graduation, were entirely on the screen and that had to be enough. They were still unsatisfying. 

Graduation was different this year. 

The power of our presence, the thirst for each other’s company, the relief, and the release of the suppressed burden of worry, solitude, and powerlessness was almost physically expelled. Every year, I am always keenly aware that, at graduation and during the last weeks of school, I may never see these students again. That is the nature of being a teacher. These relationships are on a limited lease. 

Graduation was different this year. 

Graduations in the past felt promised. Only students who misbehave are denied graduation and only for the grossest of offenses. Gathering this year was an act of acrobatic contortions and then, thanks to weather and circumstance, a marathon of adaptations. Yet, there we were, surrounded by each other. 

I am not a fan of whooping and cheering after a student’s name is read. I worry that, when a mortarboard is thrown in the air, it will hit someone. I have been an outspoken proponent of a dignified and orderly graduation. 

Graduation was different this year. 

We all cheered! Hats flew! Every speaker was on the verge of tears and made no attempt to hide it. It was like exhaling after a long time underwater, reassurance from the doctor, the reunion at the airport; there is a future, we will be alright, and people I have been holding in my heart are here in front of me. 

I hope that the graduation of the class of 2021 is unique. I hope we never experience another like it. It was exhausting and exhilarating, and I am eager to go back to the regularly scheduled dignified ceremony. 

Graduation was different this year. 

We needed it more. I hope we don’t have that need again. I hope this year’s graduation can sustain us and remind us of the power of our presence, the coming together of community, and the essential nature of a gathered community. 

I am so grateful to the school staff members who made graduation happen despite roadblocks, potholes, breakdowns, and storms. Once again, the school is the heart of our community; it nurtured our children and helped heal even this old retired teacher’s heavy heart.