This year, I tried an experiment. At the end of each class period, one student in class would write a tweet that summarized the class period, captured an important moment or connected to something we were doing. Once in a while, I wrote a tweet too. Here is my school year in tweets:
• Ready to go! I am looking forward to meeting everyone and learning together!
• Wow! An all male Freshman English class!
• First day of Senior Year!
• Keep Sesame Street clean!
• Ewww, college essays and recommendations. Personality not generality.
• All guys and we all got A's for today!
• We read together. It was weird but awesome.
• Started off OF MICE AND MEN. Loved it!
• Broken Gourd, culture, personal essays: personal and show me, don't tell me.
• Bad essays!
• Taste test of essays - boy was that boring.
• Use your phone, take pictures of notes.
• “Grammar Girl and grading system.
• Success today does not guarantee success tomorrow.”
• " The best laid schemes o' mice and men go astray.
• Who got in" activity was helpful
• Looking back, self grading, feedback; our fingers are exhausted!
• We wrote essays and expanded our minds.
• Spoilers don't always spoil.
• Extreme thesis writing!
• Pull the trigger on Facebook
• Ayn Rand is confusing; being great is bad? :)
• We controlled the Dominican Republic - twice.
• The stapleless stapler saves staples.
• What is politics? We were political.
• Not enough pink!
• Kick me, literary terms, puzzle, and name game.
• Inner-outer discussion and super sheet fantastical quiz.
• Principal visit!
• What do you watch? Mr. Hirsch loves Star Trek, a little too much.
• Musical chairs with responding to the book. Grammar Girl is coming!
• Dictatorship bad!
• Aliens in Toronto.
• We are powerful!
• Silence is golden....or is it?
• Blithe Spirit presentation: Love Triangles!
• Mr. Hirsch is a frightened freshman, WERCS visit.
• Quiz (which was pretty fun)
• EEEEdipus's acting is a tragedy.
• Brain vomit
• No plagiarizing! Don’t tell freshmen!
• Is it Thursday yet?
• Major research. Shakespeare is fun!
• "Ethnomusicology is the study of music of ethnic groups."
• There is a Raisin that is in the Sun
• Grammar Girl is coming to town!
• Major work, major questions, major grades.
• Scene cut because of racism.
• Protestant or Catholic ghosts?
• Previously on RAISIN IN THE SUN...
• Modern Shakespeare, 2009 lingo!
• Ouch! RAISIN Act 3 Quiz didn't go well.
• Thanks for a fantastic visit, Grammar Girl!
• "More than kin but less than kind."
• Hamlet and his women!
• Live the Creed!
• "Hamlet is a whipper snapper."
• Read Creed.
• "Oh, no. Here comes Dad."
• Hamlet in a hurry.
• Is Creed dead?
• Yorick!
• Hamlet's dead!!!
• Creed questions and Creed connections!
• In class essay test: WWHD?
• I support school chest!
• Influences on Torey, quiz, NO SNEEZING!
• Heads!
• Everyone's here! We took a picture.
• Chocolate (and questions and killing a fly and themes and rubrics)
• "There were answers everywhere you looked."
• Clever Hans is a smart - - - donkey.
• I'm on a boat!
• Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead - for real!
• Santa is magical, he breaks all rules of physics!
• Snow day, PLEASE!
• Projects, projects, projects
• The final: put up or shut up.
• Work, work, work!
• Online grading is crazy.
• For my senior project, I will be stalking my ex-boyfriend.
• Poetry is..
• Dandelions? Really!
• You're insane if you don't vote for McMurphy.
• Romeo loves himself.
• We want the radio voice!
• Pimped out Romeo and Juliet.
• Dead people everywhere!
• Research makes us have to go to the bathroom.
• What about Officer Krupke?
• New people Mr. Hirsch scared away.
• Herro very botiful Amellican girl!
• Watch that sarcasm!
• No one has any ideas about what they want to say in their graduation speech.
• Mr. Hirsch is a _____ teacher. Feedback survey.
• Sack to your beats, gadies and lentlemen.
• Light’s out, school’s off!
• Mr. Scott killed with lots of knives in the elevator
• Recalled to life.
• (creative and thoughtful tweet)
• We got grilled!
• Fake quiz; scared us all!
• Weedy for the geekend!
• Echoes, shadows and colours, oh, my!
• The end is nearer.
• Still knitting!
• "Bush Pigs"
• Quotes, quotes, quotes, and more quotes!
• What does catfish mean?
• Senior Project day 386543
• Shopping for essays.
• Darney – should he stay or should he go?
• This essay is bad, this one is good
• We were small but mighty!
• Unexpected no school day. How nice!
• Senior's last day! Thank you for flying Senior English!
• Tale of Two Cities is heating up!
• Congratulations to the Deerfield High School class of 2010!
• May the farce be with you!
• Our last class. Thanks for flying Freshman English! It has been a fantastic year.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Summer's Arrival, Students' Departure
While almost everyone in school is aching for summer break and the end of classes, this time of year also has a sad side. Although graduation is a celebration and a joyous landmark event, it is also a good-bye. With very few exceptions, I don’t want to let go of my students.
This year, I have a dynamic Freshman English class. Although it would be wonderful to stay together for Sophomore English, it is not possible. Yes, I have taught Sophomore English as recently as last year. However, all my freshmen are not all taking the same variety of Sophomore English. They are signing up for specialized classes that make each of their schedules unique. Whatever period we put our “year two” class, it would not work for some of them.
Yet, I will see them in the halls. Some may become involved with the club that I sponsor. Some will be back in my class later in their high school careers. It is only an ending for this group.
With seniors, the departure is far more real and, in a vast majority of the cases, permanent. I tell my seniors that I expect them to come and visit me and let me know about their college progress. I ask them to help advise my new seniors on the Senior-Alumni Dialogue page on Facebook. After class ends, but before graduation, I send them an email congratulating them and leaving the metaphoric door open.
I wrote them a letter on their first day of class, so it is fitting to send them a letter as they finish their time in high school. I tell them, “I have great faith that you are ready for the challenges that lie ahead. Some of these may seem daunting but I fervently believe that you have the capacity to meet the future with intelligence, humility and compassion.” The letter goes on to remind them about some of the skills we studied together and the values that drove them.
The rest of the letter is a thank you note: “I don’t think you, my students, realize the remarkable impact you have on me. People often talk about special teachers who touched their lives. We remember them and honor their influence. What you may not realize is that students are just as critical in the shaping of teachers. Teachers carry the lessons they learn from students from class to class and year to year. How I interacted with you, just a few years or days ago, changed me. Likewise, my classes next year will color my future decisions. When I make these choices, I think of the students who taught me how to be a better teacher. To a great degree, my past students have made me the teacher I am. I will think of you as I return to those lessons we shared. You may be graduating, but I will carry you into next year’s class and all the classes that follow. Thus, I want to say thank you; thank you for all you have taught me. If I am a “decent” teacher, it is due, in large measure, to you, the fantastic students with whom I have studied. You have generously and unselfishly taught me what it means to learn and study. Every day, every semester, year after year you are with me and I am eternally grateful.”
While I hope that each student will stay in touch with me, I know this is my last contact for a vast majority. However, a part of them will be with me in class. And when I see them again, it will be an opportunity to tell them, “I was just thinking of you!”
This year, I have a dynamic Freshman English class. Although it would be wonderful to stay together for Sophomore English, it is not possible. Yes, I have taught Sophomore English as recently as last year. However, all my freshmen are not all taking the same variety of Sophomore English. They are signing up for specialized classes that make each of their schedules unique. Whatever period we put our “year two” class, it would not work for some of them.
Yet, I will see them in the halls. Some may become involved with the club that I sponsor. Some will be back in my class later in their high school careers. It is only an ending for this group.
With seniors, the departure is far more real and, in a vast majority of the cases, permanent. I tell my seniors that I expect them to come and visit me and let me know about their college progress. I ask them to help advise my new seniors on the Senior-Alumni Dialogue page on Facebook. After class ends, but before graduation, I send them an email congratulating them and leaving the metaphoric door open.
I wrote them a letter on their first day of class, so it is fitting to send them a letter as they finish their time in high school. I tell them, “I have great faith that you are ready for the challenges that lie ahead. Some of these may seem daunting but I fervently believe that you have the capacity to meet the future with intelligence, humility and compassion.” The letter goes on to remind them about some of the skills we studied together and the values that drove them.
The rest of the letter is a thank you note: “I don’t think you, my students, realize the remarkable impact you have on me. People often talk about special teachers who touched their lives. We remember them and honor their influence. What you may not realize is that students are just as critical in the shaping of teachers. Teachers carry the lessons they learn from students from class to class and year to year. How I interacted with you, just a few years or days ago, changed me. Likewise, my classes next year will color my future decisions. When I make these choices, I think of the students who taught me how to be a better teacher. To a great degree, my past students have made me the teacher I am. I will think of you as I return to those lessons we shared. You may be graduating, but I will carry you into next year’s class and all the classes that follow. Thus, I want to say thank you; thank you for all you have taught me. If I am a “decent” teacher, it is due, in large measure, to you, the fantastic students with whom I have studied. You have generously and unselfishly taught me what it means to learn and study. Every day, every semester, year after year you are with me and I am eternally grateful.”
While I hope that each student will stay in touch with me, I know this is my last contact for a vast majority. However, a part of them will be with me in class. And when I see them again, it will be an opportunity to tell them, “I was just thinking of you!”
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Politics or Basketball
As a District 113 parent and teacher, the national media attention regarding Highland Park High School’s girls’ basketball team hits close to home. The questions seem to be: should the team be allowed to play in a tournament in Arizona? Was this choice a political statement or a means to protect children?
Why does a coach or teacher take a group out of town in the first place? Is a plane ride to Arizona going to provide a better basketball experience than one that requires a bus ride? As with all educational activities, educators choose the best options to meet their learning targets. Whether it is a trip to China, Indianapolis, or Disney World, the choice should be in the best educational interests of the students. Yes, this is a basketball team not a class. However, all school activities must have educational worth. As many people will attest, significant learning occurs through participation in athletics.
Taking a group of students out of town is a big deal. Guiding a large group through the airport, managing tickets, medicines, permission slips, and personalities makes trips like this tournament a logistical challenge. The costs add another layer to the complexity. Trips like the proposed Arizona tournament can put financial strain on families.
Why pick Arizona or any other tournament? Why reject it? What are the criteria? The coach must consider the logistics: can families afford to pay the necessary costs? Can we get there and back in time? There are always alternatives: is Arizona a better tournament than any others? What makes one tournament better?
Certainly the level of competition and opportunities for learning should be foremost factors in making this choice. The trip should be attractive to students and it should be worth their time and money to go. Like any other learning activity, it should be a match for the needs and skills of the students.
Are there any factors that would disqualify a choice? Some locations are very expensive. I am concerned when the costs of school sponsored trips become so expensive that they seem to be only for wealthier families. Even with scholarship money, fund raising revenues and educational discounts, it is hard to justify huge price tags for experiences like these trips.
Safety is a key issue too. No school group should go to places that are on the State Department’s travel advisory list. I would wonder about any “extreme adventure” travel destinations with young people. Safety also has different meanings depending on the age of the students. Issues regarding alcohol and other substances must be taken into account.
What if a location is inappropriate or uncomfortable for some students in the group? When I teach a book that deals with a specific social group or issue, I try to be aware of students for whom this topic is personal. No book or travel destination is the be all and end all. There are always alternatives.
Should an educator pick a travel destination that puts a student at potential risk? All travel involves some form of risk. Where is the line? On the continuum, I would want my children going on trips with the least possible risk. If an alterative exists that makes the trip more safe and comfortable for even one child without harming the others, why not take that alterative?
Would any of the players on the Highland Park girls’ basketball team be at risk in Arizona? Would they feel uncomfortable or feel anxious there? Would their families have worries, concerns, or misgivings about the trip? Should the coach and the district take any of these issues into account when choosing where to go?
If there is a suitable alterative to Arizona, why not go there? If the team can have as good an experience, and learn and play together in a place that does not pose these issues, wouldn’t that be a better choice?
Being a good teacher means taking good care of all students. Anxious kids don’t learn well. Distracted and worried kids don’t perform well in the classroom or on the court. Being a responsible educator means making sure kids are in an environment where learning- and playing basketball- can be the primary focus.
Many have been debating if it is appropriate for a school to make a political statement with a trip like this. School representatives have stated that their decision was not politically motivated. Politics have stolen the ball. The team and its needs should be the subject of the debate. If the debate over the Arizona location has shifted the focus that far off the court, then it is clearly not the best choice for these young people and this school.
Why does a coach or teacher take a group out of town in the first place? Is a plane ride to Arizona going to provide a better basketball experience than one that requires a bus ride? As with all educational activities, educators choose the best options to meet their learning targets. Whether it is a trip to China, Indianapolis, or Disney World, the choice should be in the best educational interests of the students. Yes, this is a basketball team not a class. However, all school activities must have educational worth. As many people will attest, significant learning occurs through participation in athletics.
Taking a group of students out of town is a big deal. Guiding a large group through the airport, managing tickets, medicines, permission slips, and personalities makes trips like this tournament a logistical challenge. The costs add another layer to the complexity. Trips like the proposed Arizona tournament can put financial strain on families.
Why pick Arizona or any other tournament? Why reject it? What are the criteria? The coach must consider the logistics: can families afford to pay the necessary costs? Can we get there and back in time? There are always alternatives: is Arizona a better tournament than any others? What makes one tournament better?
Certainly the level of competition and opportunities for learning should be foremost factors in making this choice. The trip should be attractive to students and it should be worth their time and money to go. Like any other learning activity, it should be a match for the needs and skills of the students.
Are there any factors that would disqualify a choice? Some locations are very expensive. I am concerned when the costs of school sponsored trips become so expensive that they seem to be only for wealthier families. Even with scholarship money, fund raising revenues and educational discounts, it is hard to justify huge price tags for experiences like these trips.
Safety is a key issue too. No school group should go to places that are on the State Department’s travel advisory list. I would wonder about any “extreme adventure” travel destinations with young people. Safety also has different meanings depending on the age of the students. Issues regarding alcohol and other substances must be taken into account.
What if a location is inappropriate or uncomfortable for some students in the group? When I teach a book that deals with a specific social group or issue, I try to be aware of students for whom this topic is personal. No book or travel destination is the be all and end all. There are always alternatives.
Should an educator pick a travel destination that puts a student at potential risk? All travel involves some form of risk. Where is the line? On the continuum, I would want my children going on trips with the least possible risk. If an alterative exists that makes the trip more safe and comfortable for even one child without harming the others, why not take that alterative?
Would any of the players on the Highland Park girls’ basketball team be at risk in Arizona? Would they feel uncomfortable or feel anxious there? Would their families have worries, concerns, or misgivings about the trip? Should the coach and the district take any of these issues into account when choosing where to go?
If there is a suitable alterative to Arizona, why not go there? If the team can have as good an experience, and learn and play together in a place that does not pose these issues, wouldn’t that be a better choice?
Being a good teacher means taking good care of all students. Anxious kids don’t learn well. Distracted and worried kids don’t perform well in the classroom or on the court. Being a responsible educator means making sure kids are in an environment where learning- and playing basketball- can be the primary focus.
Many have been debating if it is appropriate for a school to make a political statement with a trip like this. School representatives have stated that their decision was not politically motivated. Politics have stolen the ball. The team and its needs should be the subject of the debate. If the debate over the Arizona location has shifted the focus that far off the court, then it is clearly not the best choice for these young people and this school.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Words of Fire: Part 2
There are plenty of pieces of literature that I love and many of them really work in the classroom. I enjoy teaching Shakespeare. A student once asked why we study Shakespeare. I asked him if he wanted the company line or the real reason. The company line is that it makes students culturally literate, helps teach decoding, will be useful in future English classes and blah, blah, blah. I told the young man that I wanted to show students something that was really beautiful! I wanted them to be able to understand and appreciate why Shakespeare’s plays were magnificent.
It is that enjoyment of language and playfulness with words that Shakespeare engenders made me think that what I wanted to write about was one of Will Shortz’s Sunday word games. I have used these in class for many years and kids love playing with language. I want my class to be a language playground with fun rides and challenging tasks.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s collection of short stories, Welcome to the Monkey House is always a huge success and for good reason. Students are challenged to go beyond the surface meanings and examine Vonnegut’s social satire. Some of the stories have a science fiction flavor while others are very much grounded in our contemporary world. Vonnegut wonders if, “most of the world’s ills can be traced to the fact that Man’s knowledge of himself has not kept pace with his knowledge of the physical world.” Vonnegut’s stories ask students (and me) what really makes us human beings and what elements in our world threaten that? What do we become when we sacrifice our humanity for convenience, beauty, longevity, or power?
Although I’ve never taught one of Robert Heinlein’s works of science fiction, I would love to do so. I remember the aphorisms that are the intermissions in his novel Time Enough For Love. Lazarus Long’s little lists of wisdom spoke to me so strongly that many of them still go through my head on a daily basis. Here are only a few:
“Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Does history record any case in which the majority was right?
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it. “
I have used some of these statements as the seeds of debates in Sophomore English and they have appeared on t-shirts for the writing performance club I sponsor. Maybe someday, my students and l will read Stranger In A Strange Land and grok together!
I am not sure that this is what my department chair was assigning. When I asked some of my colleagues what they were doing, one just said, “Don’t over think it, David. Just find a poem you like and write about why you like it.” I hope that isn’t what this is about. In any case, that is not what the assignment will be for me.
And that choice is perhaps the best reflection of me as a teacher. I made the assignment my own. I took it where I needed to go with it. If students have the skill and freedom to do that in my classroom, that will be my real “fire.”
It is that enjoyment of language and playfulness with words that Shakespeare engenders made me think that what I wanted to write about was one of Will Shortz’s Sunday word games. I have used these in class for many years and kids love playing with language. I want my class to be a language playground with fun rides and challenging tasks.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s collection of short stories, Welcome to the Monkey House is always a huge success and for good reason. Students are challenged to go beyond the surface meanings and examine Vonnegut’s social satire. Some of the stories have a science fiction flavor while others are very much grounded in our contemporary world. Vonnegut wonders if, “most of the world’s ills can be traced to the fact that Man’s knowledge of himself has not kept pace with his knowledge of the physical world.” Vonnegut’s stories ask students (and me) what really makes us human beings and what elements in our world threaten that? What do we become when we sacrifice our humanity for convenience, beauty, longevity, or power?
Although I’ve never taught one of Robert Heinlein’s works of science fiction, I would love to do so. I remember the aphorisms that are the intermissions in his novel Time Enough For Love. Lazarus Long’s little lists of wisdom spoke to me so strongly that many of them still go through my head on a daily basis. Here are only a few:
“Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Does history record any case in which the majority was right?
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it. “
I have used some of these statements as the seeds of debates in Sophomore English and they have appeared on t-shirts for the writing performance club I sponsor. Maybe someday, my students and l will read Stranger In A Strange Land and grok together!
I am not sure that this is what my department chair was assigning. When I asked some of my colleagues what they were doing, one just said, “Don’t over think it, David. Just find a poem you like and write about why you like it.” I hope that isn’t what this is about. In any case, that is not what the assignment will be for me.
And that choice is perhaps the best reflection of me as a teacher. I made the assignment my own. I took it where I needed to go with it. If students have the skill and freedom to do that in my classroom, that will be my real “fire.”
Words Of Fire: Part 1
Recently, my department chairman asked all of us to write about a piece of literature that was important to us. He asked us to find a quotation and then write about what it means to us. His assignment was based on the collection, Teaching with Fire, which is described as a, “glorious collection of the poetry that has restored the faith of teachers in the highest, most transcendent values of their work with children.”
What do I choose? What do I write about? Frankly, I haven’t had a crisis of faith about teaching, so there hasn’t been a piece of literature that has restored it. I do not have a single text that is my touchstone and source. So I tried to reframe the assignment: could I find a piece of literature that represented my teaching values? What about a piece of literature that I loved? How about something that really worked in the classroom?
The real source of my teaching values is my own educational experience. It was in the classrooms of giving and gifted educators that I discovered the reasons I am a teacher. It helped that I studied with the same college professors who had trained many of my high school teachers. My mentors’ mentors guided me! Yet, I can clearly recall a statement that shaped my beliefs and crystallized my “prime directive:” the goal that I should do everything I can to foster the independence of my students. So it made perfect sense, when I read about the concept of approval/disapproval in Viola Spolin’s Improvisation for the Theater:
“We either fear that we will not get approval, or we accept outside comment and interpretation unquestionably. In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominate regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated… We do not know our own substance, and in the attempt to live through (or avoid living through) the eyes of others, self-identity is obscured, our bodies become misshapened, natural grace is gone and learning is affected…The expectancy of judgment prevents free relationships within the acting workshop…True personal freedom and self-expression can flower only in an atmosphere where attitudes permit equality between student and teacher and the dependencies of teacher for student and student for teacher are done away with. The problems within the subject matter will teach both of them.”
I clearly remember the extensive discussion of this concept in my college class. The goal is to help students find intrinsic motivation for their learning rather than do it to be patted on the head like a good dog. We were warned against motivating students merely with the desire to please us, their teachers, or the fear of displeasing us. Instead, we were challenged with the task of helping them meet the subject matter on their own terms and find themselves in the learning. It is a powerful and difficult concept. With each of my choices in the classroom, I try to say to my students, “don’t do this for me; don’t do this because I will smile or frown on you; don’t do this because you like or dislike me. It isn’t about me. It is about you.” It is my job as the teacher to create the environment and circumstances for my students’ learning and then get out of the way!
What do I choose? What do I write about? Frankly, I haven’t had a crisis of faith about teaching, so there hasn’t been a piece of literature that has restored it. I do not have a single text that is my touchstone and source. So I tried to reframe the assignment: could I find a piece of literature that represented my teaching values? What about a piece of literature that I loved? How about something that really worked in the classroom?
The real source of my teaching values is my own educational experience. It was in the classrooms of giving and gifted educators that I discovered the reasons I am a teacher. It helped that I studied with the same college professors who had trained many of my high school teachers. My mentors’ mentors guided me! Yet, I can clearly recall a statement that shaped my beliefs and crystallized my “prime directive:” the goal that I should do everything I can to foster the independence of my students. So it made perfect sense, when I read about the concept of approval/disapproval in Viola Spolin’s Improvisation for the Theater:
“We either fear that we will not get approval, or we accept outside comment and interpretation unquestionably. In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominate regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated… We do not know our own substance, and in the attempt to live through (or avoid living through) the eyes of others, self-identity is obscured, our bodies become misshapened, natural grace is gone and learning is affected…The expectancy of judgment prevents free relationships within the acting workshop…True personal freedom and self-expression can flower only in an atmosphere where attitudes permit equality between student and teacher and the dependencies of teacher for student and student for teacher are done away with. The problems within the subject matter will teach both of them.”
I clearly remember the extensive discussion of this concept in my college class. The goal is to help students find intrinsic motivation for their learning rather than do it to be patted on the head like a good dog. We were warned against motivating students merely with the desire to please us, their teachers, or the fear of displeasing us. Instead, we were challenged with the task of helping them meet the subject matter on their own terms and find themselves in the learning. It is a powerful and difficult concept. With each of my choices in the classroom, I try to say to my students, “don’t do this for me; don’t do this because I will smile or frown on you; don’t do this because you like or dislike me. It isn’t about me. It is about you.” It is my job as the teacher to create the environment and circumstances for my students’ learning and then get out of the way!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Whose Education Is it Anyway?
Let’s face it, teenagers can’t do anything right. If you let them do what they want, they will just hurt themselves and create expensive problems. It is up to their parents to make the right choices, ensure they get good grades, get into good colleges and are able to do the same for their children.
As my children grow up, I supervise every aspect of their lives. Homework is monitored at the kitchen table every night. I sit down with them and get things started and then I guide them through each math problem or science worksheet. I outline their essays in advance and mark important passages in each book. We often read aloud and I go over the themes, characters and other concepts aloud.
When problems arise, which happens all too frequently with children of this age, I take charge and make sure that my kids don’t have to deal with any unpleasantness. If a teacher gives one of my kids a poor grade or they do not make the team or play, or are unfairly punished, I am on the phone right away. Many a time have I had to march right into that school to defend my children! I will not permit anyone, no matter what degrees they may have, to treat my children unjustly.
Each morning, I wake up my kids and get them into the shower. Sometimes, I have to check to be sure that they are using soap. You know how children will be! I make their beds and prepare breakfast while they are getting dressed. As I am laying out their lunches, books, and backpacks, we discuss the agenda for the day. Then we load up the SUV and it is off to school. Time seems to fly and I am always at the head of the line to pick them up at the end of the day. We get home and have a snack that I have prepared in advance. Depending on the evening, we will have a variety of activities and, of course, plenty of homework together.
Recently, we have begun the college search . I attended two programs at the high school discussing this process. I took a great deal of notes and I had lots of questions. I have hired a private college counselor to assist me, and we are developing a close relationship.
I have contacted my child’s favorite teachers and requested letters of recommendation. I am spending my afternoons filling out all the paperwork. There are so many forms to fill out. I am so busy dealing with financial aid surveys, online applications, transcript requests and standardized testing dates.
Frankly, I don’t know what I am going to do when my kids go to college. I want them to go to really good schools, so that means that they will most likely be on the east coast or in northern California. I have researched the costs of condominiums in those areas and I think it is practical to have additional homes near their colleges. I think it is cruel to expect children of this age to move away from their parents. It is not reasonable to think that they can navigate the complexities of college life without their parents’ love and assistance. Besides, whose paying for all this anyway?
As my children grow up, I supervise every aspect of their lives. Homework is monitored at the kitchen table every night. I sit down with them and get things started and then I guide them through each math problem or science worksheet. I outline their essays in advance and mark important passages in each book. We often read aloud and I go over the themes, characters and other concepts aloud.
When problems arise, which happens all too frequently with children of this age, I take charge and make sure that my kids don’t have to deal with any unpleasantness. If a teacher gives one of my kids a poor grade or they do not make the team or play, or are unfairly punished, I am on the phone right away. Many a time have I had to march right into that school to defend my children! I will not permit anyone, no matter what degrees they may have, to treat my children unjustly.
Each morning, I wake up my kids and get them into the shower. Sometimes, I have to check to be sure that they are using soap. You know how children will be! I make their beds and prepare breakfast while they are getting dressed. As I am laying out their lunches, books, and backpacks, we discuss the agenda for the day. Then we load up the SUV and it is off to school. Time seems to fly and I am always at the head of the line to pick them up at the end of the day. We get home and have a snack that I have prepared in advance. Depending on the evening, we will have a variety of activities and, of course, plenty of homework together.
Recently, we have begun the college search . I attended two programs at the high school discussing this process. I took a great deal of notes and I had lots of questions. I have hired a private college counselor to assist me, and we are developing a close relationship.
I have contacted my child’s favorite teachers and requested letters of recommendation. I am spending my afternoons filling out all the paperwork. There are so many forms to fill out. I am so busy dealing with financial aid surveys, online applications, transcript requests and standardized testing dates.
Frankly, I don’t know what I am going to do when my kids go to college. I want them to go to really good schools, so that means that they will most likely be on the east coast or in northern California. I have researched the costs of condominiums in those areas and I think it is practical to have additional homes near their colleges. I think it is cruel to expect children of this age to move away from their parents. It is not reasonable to think that they can navigate the complexities of college life without their parents’ love and assistance. Besides, whose paying for all this anyway?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Bomb of A Tantrum
There are many ways that parents deal with children’s tantrums. How parents handle tantrums is a good indicator of who is really in charge: the parent or the child. Effective parents know, if you give in to children’s tantrums, they learn that such tactics work and more will follow.
On Tuesday, our school found a threat written on a bathroom stall indicating there would be a bomb on Friday. This is the second time this has happened. Kids have learned that this kind of tantrum works; they can take our school hostage with a bit of graffiti.
Although threats like these happen in many schools, none have ever been carried out. There has never been a school bombing in Illinois. However, it is natural for this kind of incident to make parents anxious. Some parents and children are so anxious that they could not function while worrying about a threat like this.
However, most people understand that this is merely a tantrum, an attempt at manipulation on the part of a misguided child. The police call it, a “low level threat.” Yet, school attendance plummets on these days. Although our school reported 70% attendance on that Friday, I saw fewer than half my students. Are there that many parents and students for whom this anxiety is paralyzing?
No. Students are very open about their motives. They talk about taking advantage of both the situation and their parents. “If I can get my parents to let me have a day off, I am going to take it,” they say. It is not about bomb anxiety.
On Friday, our school was safer than it has ever been. If parents wanted their children to be in a safe place, those kids would have been at school. Police canine units had swept the building. All students and staff’s bags were checked on the way in. Police were in and around the building. Our school was a fortress. Students were in far more danger out of school, especially if their parents left them alone. So why did thirty percent of parents allow their kids to stay home?
That is the question. Kids are open about the manipulation involved. Are parents aware they are being played? And what did kids do with their day off?
The sad truth is that too many parents are not in charge. Too many teenagers run the home and make the real decisions. The real scare is not of a bomb, but of an epidemic of weak and ineffectual parenting.
The child who wrote the bomb threat is manipulating the entire community and these parents are giving in to the tantrum. If everyone came to school and held a regular day of classes, there would be no incentive for students to write threats in bathrooms. These parents are encouraging this behavior to the detriment of the entire school system. We all suffer because of their poor decisions.
No wonder weak parenting has bred the entitled child epidemic. And never was this problem clearer than on Friday. Entitled children and their wimpy parents allowed the entire school to be held hostage. Thousands of dollars were spent and who knows how much was lost in state funding because parents could not say to kids, “I know you would like a day off, but it really is safe to go to school today.” If everyone came to school normally, we would be far less likely to have another bomb scare. Children throw tantrums sometimes – even dangerous and scary ones. Giving in only reinforces that negative behavior and encourages more of it.
On Tuesday, our school found a threat written on a bathroom stall indicating there would be a bomb on Friday. This is the second time this has happened. Kids have learned that this kind of tantrum works; they can take our school hostage with a bit of graffiti.
Although threats like these happen in many schools, none have ever been carried out. There has never been a school bombing in Illinois. However, it is natural for this kind of incident to make parents anxious. Some parents and children are so anxious that they could not function while worrying about a threat like this.
However, most people understand that this is merely a tantrum, an attempt at manipulation on the part of a misguided child. The police call it, a “low level threat.” Yet, school attendance plummets on these days. Although our school reported 70% attendance on that Friday, I saw fewer than half my students. Are there that many parents and students for whom this anxiety is paralyzing?
No. Students are very open about their motives. They talk about taking advantage of both the situation and their parents. “If I can get my parents to let me have a day off, I am going to take it,” they say. It is not about bomb anxiety.
On Friday, our school was safer than it has ever been. If parents wanted their children to be in a safe place, those kids would have been at school. Police canine units had swept the building. All students and staff’s bags were checked on the way in. Police were in and around the building. Our school was a fortress. Students were in far more danger out of school, especially if their parents left them alone. So why did thirty percent of parents allow their kids to stay home?
That is the question. Kids are open about the manipulation involved. Are parents aware they are being played? And what did kids do with their day off?
The sad truth is that too many parents are not in charge. Too many teenagers run the home and make the real decisions. The real scare is not of a bomb, but of an epidemic of weak and ineffectual parenting.
The child who wrote the bomb threat is manipulating the entire community and these parents are giving in to the tantrum. If everyone came to school and held a regular day of classes, there would be no incentive for students to write threats in bathrooms. These parents are encouraging this behavior to the detriment of the entire school system. We all suffer because of their poor decisions.
No wonder weak parenting has bred the entitled child epidemic. And never was this problem clearer than on Friday. Entitled children and their wimpy parents allowed the entire school to be held hostage. Thousands of dollars were spent and who knows how much was lost in state funding because parents could not say to kids, “I know you would like a day off, but it really is safe to go to school today.” If everyone came to school normally, we would be far less likely to have another bomb scare. Children throw tantrums sometimes – even dangerous and scary ones. Giving in only reinforces that negative behavior and encourages more of it.
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