Staying In Touch

How do you stay in touch with people whom you don’t see regularly? Facebook is a nice way to keep lines of communication open, but, most of the time, it is lacks the personal touch. I find that, even when I am deliberate about phone calls, I don’t reach the person more often than I do. Keeping in touch is difficult.

Even in the day of electronic communication, ubiquitous cell phones, and video chats, I struggle to stay in touch with people who aren’t on my “route”  - even people I dearly love and with whom I feel very close.

Sunday dinners with my folks, holidays and celebrations, school events, and kids’ events pull in many people. If we share an activity or organization, we have a point of contact. If none of these structures are in place, how do we keep a friendship that once had them from fading?

I think the answer is: most of the time we don’t.

My family moved during the summer between fourth and fifth grade. We moved only a few miles north, but it might as well have been a thousand. I had no real means to get to my friends in my old neighborhood. I don’t remember if I telephoned much. I was certainly very lonely in my new neighborhood for a while. It was as if I had closed that door. I wasn’t there any more. My parents neither encouraged nor discouraged my connection to my “old” friends, and it was a case of “out of sight, out of mind,” even when there wasn’t much on my mind.

As a teacher, people I spend a significant amount of time with move out of my life on a regular basis. Each year, a hundred or so former students cross the stage, grab a diploma, and I never see them again. Thanks to Facebook, I get little glimpses into a few, but even these often remain only digital friends.

There are a few special students who become real friends. Not just former students or occasional visitors, but friends in the real sense of the word. They are very special rare gifts. They are one of the greatest perks of being a teacher. It is my experience that the students who fall into this category must make a significant conscious effort to remain in touch – and I must do the same with them. It is a partnership. Although sometimes, I may not see these former students for months or even years, their reappearances are regular and dependable. There are a few I have lunch with during the summer and even more who I see every year or three. There are some who make regular treks back to school and some who make a point to touch base with me on holidays or birthdays. I am so grateful for this kind of keeping in contact.

And that is the key. That is what staying in touch is all about; it is a commitment to contact; it is like marriage, a promise to maintain the bond. Sometimes the bond isn’t very strong, but it is still present. Sometimes, I don’t feel the bond until it appears.

Staying in touch, even in the digital age, is difficult. It is a statement of value: I want to keep you in my life. I want to hear your voice and see your face, not just your updates and photos.

There are lots of big and small ways to keep in touch: a postcard from a trip, a call on a birthday, an unexpected email, a carefully planned visit, a quick coffee, or a message, “just to say hi.” When these people appear, it makes my day. It reminds me of that, no matter how busy I am or how long my to-do list, the people are what make it all worth while. It may be difficult, but keeping in touch is worth the effort! Now if I could just do it! 

Yes is the Responsible Vote in 113

There is no convincing some people that our aging high schools need help. While we can debate the finer points of the plan, the key issues are simple: Are we willing to spend a little to make sure our kids can learn in a healthy and modern environment? Is it important that our community schools are technologically up-to-date?

Since the referendum of 2011, the district has involved hundreds of community members and held scores of meetings to discuss this plan. Developed through a highly inclusive and participatory process, this plan is a collaboration and a compromise. Those who do not like this plan might not like any plan. Click here to see an analysis of the “plan” the opposition thinks is better.

There are plenty of myths and misinformation about this referendum. It is very important that we look closely at the claims from those who say that they are putting education first. Here is an article that addresses some of these misconceptions.  

The infrastructure of our high school is like an old car. In my family, we try to keep our cars as long as possible. We take good care of them, and drive them as long as we can. However, there comes a point where the increasing frequency and cost of repairs and maintenance is not the best use of our money. When a car starts to need lots of expensive repairs, it is time to invest in a new one. When we purchase a new vehicle, we use a combination of savings and loaned funds.

This referendum is the most fiscally responsible way to address our aging buildings. We have taken very good care of these buildings for a long time. But it is not cost effective to keep repairing systems installed decades ago. The district is proposing a combination of reserve funds and bonds to pay these costs. We should not let our school district drain its reserves completely. Would you go bankrupt to buy your new car?

And, as both sides of the debate have noted, the issues won’t go away. What happens if you wait too long to replace that old car? Sometimes, you get stranded when the car breaks down. Do we want our kids in schools with broken heating and cooling systems? Sometimes, we have to spend money to repair old systems because we don’t have the funds to replace them. But that is not the best use of our funds. Do we want to throw away money putting band-aids on old equipment we should replace?  Do we pay more to maintain obsolete systems when we could equip our students with up-to-date computers and educational technology?   

For a small amount of money, we can make a significant improvement in the way our schools feel and function. My yearly tax increase will be about the same amount I pay for one month for cable television!

To deny the needs of Deerfield and Highland Park High Schools is to live in an irresponsible past. To oppose this referendum is to sacrifice the critical long-term needs of our children and communities in order to save a few bucks now and pay much more later.

I have lived in District 113 for over twenty-five years. I am the parent of a current Deerfield High School student and a recent graduate. This referendum is about the safety and well being of all of our children and the future of our community. This referendum is critical to maintaining an excellent educational experience and ensuring that everyone who uses our high schools is safe, healthy, and in the twenty first century! I urge you to vote YES! 

A Journal a Day

Although I have been journaling for more than thirty years, at the end of January in 2003, I made a decision to write daily. I review the prior day, talk to myself, make notes about school, writing, and life in general. 

I like it. It is my kind of meditation. It is a form of memory making. In the Facebook age, we use the cameras on our phones to document our lives. It is all there in pictures. Pictures are great, but they are not enough. I wanted to be able to save the feelings, thoughts, questions, and conversations. I wanted more than images.

February 9^th, 2004: P.J. just threw up in the front hall.

Journaling has come in handy not only for the higher goals of reflection and metacognition, but also for simple stuff. When were the cable repair people here last? What was the original date of our vacation? Whom did we bump into at the restaurant?

There is the memory jog aspect of journaling. By reviewing my day and thinking about it, I often discover ideas that lead me to new places and insights, people to contact, and items to add to my to-do list. After reviewing an old journal entry, I am often left with a renewed sense of humility and gratitude. 

March 17^th, 2005: Jonah woke up feeling sick. I thought it was just gas, and I sent him to school. He seemed fine by the time I got back from bringing Quinn to orchestra. I was wrong.

My daily journal is also a dumping ground. I can get it out and leave it there. It is so tempting to blog rants. I don’t want to. When I journal, I can vent, scream, yell, cry and wring my hands. I can figure out what I am really feeling and what will be an appropriate way to proceed.

I review my journal infrequently. When I do, I see changes as starkly as when I look at older photographs of myself. I can look back at things that seemed daunting and dangerous that now seem like no big deal. I can laugh with relief at the struggles or problems that have long since been filed away.

May 23^rd, 2007: As I was making my “it’s been a great year” speech, David asked if it was time to “gift shears.” He said the class had gotten together and got me a gift: SHEARS! Yes, I got a gift of shears from my Senior English class!

My journal helps me learn and move forward. I look back, and I see what this week or month has really been about. I am able to more fully digest all the things that come at me so quickly.

Oh, yes, and I am frequently running back to my journal to add things. I didn’t write about that phone call. I forgot to note the issue with the van! How could I have written all about yesterday and not mentioned the concert? The day falls into my journal in a dream like order and with emotional logic. I put it back together. 

April 23^rd, 2010: We checked out through attendance and then drove to the Secretary of State’s office. Quinn had no trouble with the road test and passed just fine. She took a lovely license picture.

I will continue to write daily. I will continue to journal, blog, and talk to myself. One is an outgrowth of the other. It is great that I can share my writing – and have writing that is just for me. 

Your Grade is an 89.9% B+ and That’s Final!

How do teachers determine the grades students receive? I have discovered that many teachers do not determine grades. They leave students’ grades to the numbers. They call this a “fair” grade. It is not fair. It is poor. It is a dereliction of duty.

Even putting aside the inherent problems with using averaged percentages as a grading “system,” teachers, not numbers, should monitor the progress of their students. Good teachers use a variety of assessments and instruments to evaluate what students can do and what they know. It is a teacher’s responsibility to make certain that the grades assigned to students are valid representations of students’ mastery. Leaving that to the numbers takes the teacher off the hook.

“Wait a minute,” some teacher cries! “I graded the quizzes, tests, and homework. The grade is merely the average of the students’ work. It is a fair representation of how many items the student answered correctly.”

True. However, is it a fair representation of how well the student has mastered the material taught? No. Two points off.

Students’ success on assessments should improve over time. This is called learning. If a student is getting everything correct from the start, little learning has occurred. Is the teacher even needed? Teachers often love the kids they don’t need to teach. They are the easy A’s. It is critical to provide students with instruction, practice, feedback, and assessment – and then do it all over again. Through this process, students’ achievement should improve.

So is it “fair” to average the speed of the learning process into the grade? If one student did poorly on some assessments, but then mastered the skill later and clearly demonstrated this, should that student be penalized for the time needed to learn the skill? Should the grade be more about which student made fewer errors getting to the goal? We don’t take away an Olympic swimmer’s gold medal because he didn’t make a world record in practice. No one graded down Shakespeare for bad drafts or Einstein for failed formulas.

Thus, a student whose average is on a border, who earns 89.9 or 92.4, should not automatically be given the B+ or A-. A student whose grades are trending up is really learning the material. In truth, the most recent assignments are the best measurement of mastery. Although the student may have earned an A- for the quarter, if she rocks the final or the last major assignments, a teacher should ask if the numbers accurately reflect her learning.

At this time of year, many students and parents are asking teachers, “Why is my child on the grade border? What could have happened to push him from the lower to the higher grade?”

Teacher shrugs and says, “the numbers tell the story.” But that is incorrect. What is the grade trend? Has the student mastered the skills? Are you certain, teacher, that a few items on a few assessments are not the reason for the average? Is your certainty grader (oops –I meant greater) than your margin of error? What would you see if you looked more closely?

Yes, it is more difficult and time consuming to examine student individually. It is easier just to pop numbers into a computer and let it determine the grade. But such unprofessional laziness is not an accurate representation of student achievement, and it is unfair to both the students and the learning process.

Teachers do not want to be evaluated exclusively on their students’ numbers. Their students should not be evaluated that way either! 

Subject: Your Emails To Your Teachers

Dear Students,

Your emails need improvement. They are unclear, grammatically incorrect, and far too informal. One important lesson you must learn in school is to how to communicate well. Here are some important tips on writing formal emails to teachers, professors, employers (current or potential) and anyone other than your friends or family:  

Use formal salutations and titles. You don’t call your teachers by their first names, you don’t address them with “hey,” and you don’t just dive into the conversation. Close your emails appropriately using a closing salutation like “Sincerely,” “Yours,” “Thank you,” or even “See you in class.”

Use the subject line to clearly state the purpose of your email. Don’t leave it blank or simply put your name in it. You may include your name and class, but you should also briefly state the main point of your communication.

Use formal language and a respectful tone. Don’t address your teacher as you would a friend. Your email should not read like a text message. You should have clear sentences, paragraphs, and employ good grammar and correct spelling. Be sure to spell your teacher’s name correctly. It is helpful to bold important lines and make each point an individual paragraph.

Do not ask, “Did I miss anything?” when you are not in class. “What did I miss?” is no better. It is unreasonable to ask a teacher to capture an entire lesson in an email. Do your homework if you miss class; contact a classmate, look at the website, and do your best to find out what you missed on your own. Then email the teacher to ask questions, make an appointment, or arrange to make up missed work.

Do read over your email before you send it. Before you press that send key, give a second look at what you have written. Do use the spell checker. It might help to type the email in a word processor and then copy it to your email. If it helps, read it aloud to make sure you are communicating clearly and correctly.

Do check for your teacher’s reply. Students frequently ask, “Did you get my email.” Teachers often reply, “Yes, did you get mine?” If you aren’t going to read your teacher’s reply, don’t send the email at all.

Your email communicates far more than the words themselves. The messages you send tell people about who you are, what you know, and how you treat people. Your emails can enhance and strengthen your relationships or they can leave a lasting poor impression. It is worth taking the time and thought to use them well.

Please consider these ideas when you are emailing your teachers or communicating with anyone with whom you have a formal relationship. 

Sincerely Yours,

Mr. Hirsch

Final Exam Questions – and Answers

I am not a fan of high school final exams. Given the way finals are administered at my school, I am not sure what function they serve. I have lots of questions about finals and their effect on students.

Why are we giving final exams? Is it because colleges give them? Our classes don’t meet twice a week or in large lectures. Our kids are subjected to plenty of tests. We are constantly testing (and that is another issue). Why are final exams so important? Large scale, high stakes tests are not a regular feature of adult life. What is our rationale for having them twice a year?

If the rationale for giving finals is college preparation, why do we excuse second semester seniors from finals when they are the students in most need of the preparation? Why do we give the same type of tests to our first semester freshman, who are months out of middle school and years away from college?

Why should all courses give finals at the same time? Clearly not all teachers are ready for finals since students regularly report that the pace of instruction nears warp speed as finals approach in many classes. Wouldn’t our assessments be more authentic if we didn’t give them in three days?

Is one seventy-five minute test the best indicator of eighteen weeks of learning? Can we get an accurate and fair picture of a student’s achievement through a single sampling?

Frequently, students’ performance on finals does not match their performance on other assessments. What does this mean? Do teachers question the effectiveness of their finals?  Some courses regularly curve the finals because students score poorly. Is a curve the best solution? What does it mean when many students don’t do well on a final?  Does moving the grade markers solve the real problem?

Here is my answer key:

Objective tests are easy to grade. They are easy to quantify. They are quick and dirty ways to measure what can be measured in numbers. Unfortunately, learning is messy. When all we look at is the statistics, we may miss the relationships, the growth, and the joy of learning.

Even when finals are more authentic, the weight and delivery of the test create significant issues. Why should one seventy-five minute experience or a single assignment be worth as much as four and half weeks of class time? Many teachers have decided that it shouldn’t. So their finals involve a project, paper, test, speech, blood sample, journey to Katmandu, and a pound of flesh! What a wonderful solution! I am not exaggerating when I tell you that one my children had a final that had so many pieces it lasted more than five weeks and threatened to eat her winter break!

For my freshmen, finals do one thing: ruin their grades. Students who have been earning A’s and B’s all semester long find that, thanks to one assessment, they have C’s. It is demoralizing. One of my colleagues suggested that we are coddling students with “effort” points and extra credit. She said that their quarter grades are artificially inflated and we need finals to measure their “real” ability. So finals are bait and switch; you thought you were doing well in class: surprise!  

The most correct answer is that finals are a hold over from the distant past. Like lecturing, rote memorization, and corporal punishment, we have found better ways to help kids learn. As more than thirty years of state achievement testing continues to teach us, these assessments do not improve children’s education. 

Could we create twenty first century finals? Maybe. It would far better to help kids actively apply and demonstrate their learning every day. Learning is never final. 

Coping with College

Here is the truth: I didn’t want my daughter to go back to college. This is, of course, just a selfish parental impulse. I am not going to prevent her from returning for the second semester. It has been great having her home for four wonderful weeks. I am struggling with the idea that it will be months until I see her again. And since my child is on the three-year program, it will be a year until we have more than a weekend together. So, as she packed for her return to school, I was wishing for another week – or four!

When my daughter is away at college, I miss her. I really miss her. It takes a great deal of self-control not to call every day, text each thought, or email article after article. It has taken every ounce of my willpower to let her control the communication. And I am told it is stalker-ish to sit on the college webcam hoping she’ll lead a tour across the quad.

It is not an exaggeration to say I count down the days until she comes home. Thanksgiving was a tease. My daughter did a great job of balancing her time between family and friends, and it still wasn’t enough. So when she went back to school, I consoled myself that it was only a few weeks until I would get a more substantial visit.

When we dropped her back at the airport, I held back my tears. I understood why my grandmother often became teary eyed when she hugged me. It wasn't enough time! I loved having her at home and I didn't fully appreciate what it would be like to have a home without her - and then to have her home for a tiny time.

So I counted down to winter break. I tried not to be intrusive during her final exam week. Instead, I checked on her flights and sat in her room. Finally, the week before my school’s winter break began, she returned.

And our home felt right again. Once again, there were four of us for dinner. Once again, we had to schedule who was taking the car. Her clothes and shoes took over the mudroom and her music could be heard across the house.

On vacation, we got ten whole days to be a family without distraction. We have done this almost every winter break since the kids were born. We took walks, ate meals, and played games without any competition from the outside world.

Now, I have been back in school a week. My daughter just returned to school…and I was still not ready. It doesn’t matter. This schedule is not dependent on my readiness. Maybe in a few weeks I would be ready. Maybe not. She went back anyhow. She was eager to go.

This is our new relationship. Absence has not made my heart grow any fonder. I don’t know that it could. Absence has just made me nostalgic for the days when both of my children lived under my roof. I know I will get used to this new situation. She has only been in college for one semester. Other parents tell me, although they were also sad when the kids left, they came to enjoy this new stage. I am not there yet. I am still mourning our old life.